Everybody's After Love (4 page)

And with that, my full-blown anxiety kicks in. I’m gasping for air and gripping Kevin’s leg all while trying to fight off the dizziness which I know will only end in me passing out. My vision is getting blurry, but I can still hear that mousy voice in front of me.

“Julianna, it’s okay. We’re not going to die,” Bri says calmly, taking my hand and rubbing my palms. It doesn’t help much, but hearing her say my full name, which is only reserved for a select few, distracts me enough from my fear and my asshole boyfriend who is laughing hysterically at me. If I weren’t hyperventilating, I would go off on her about the name she just called me.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the tram doors open. Jumping up quickly, I escape from Bri’s grasp and into the walkway which is only slightly larger than our ride up. Kevin traps me under his arm, making me feel even more claustrophobic as he guides us to the viewing area with teeny windows that you can look out and see exactly how far you will fall to your death.

“Don’t worry, babe, this thing can only sway up to eighteen inches. If you stand real still, you can probably feel it moving,” he says, still unable to stop laughing at my episode in the tram.

I suddenly feel as though I might lose my breakfast. Ducking out of his grasp, I spin around the area looking for a trash can, making my dizziness worse. Kevin saunters off as I feel Bri pull me away from the windows—
thank God
. Throwing the trash can lid off just in time, I am reminded of everything I have eaten until this point in the day. With that done, I start to feel slightly better. Bri guides me over to a chair where I lean forward and place my head between my legs. The blood rushes to my brain as she lifts my long brown hair off my neck and fans me with a brochure.

“I’m so sorry, Jules. I had no idea you were afraid of heights. When J.P. and I came to book the church, we rode up here and he mentioned that you’d never been in the Arch. He never said why. I’m so sorry,” Bri apologizes and I can actually hear tears in her voice which makes me feel slightly bad for her. Bad as in, if I hadn’t just thrown up in front of two-hundred people, six-hundred and thirty feet in the air, I might shrug my shoulders and say it’s alright. As it is, if I shrug my shoulders, I might need the trash can again.

Of course, my
amazing
boyfriend takes his time checking out the top of the Arch as I try to remind myself to keep breathing and not throw up again. An hour later and my feet are finally on solid ground, which makes me beyond happy. So happy in fact, I actually hug Bri in a lapse of judgment, which she takes as a sign that we’re bonding. I, however, am blaming it on the change in altitude.

When we walk into the upscale Mexican restaurant on Washington Street, I practically run into the arms of my brother, still traumatized by being in a swaying structure way too high off the ground. Paulie runs his finger down my nose with a tap and then rubs my back. I feel Bri’s hand on top of his and my aftershock fear turns into anger.

The couple share a quick kiss and she mumbles, “You never told me she was scared of heights.”

Kevin laughs behind us. “It was great! I’ve never seen someone freak out like she did, she even ralphed when we got to the top.”

I don’t have to look to know that my brother is giving Kevin the death glare, his body language exudes disapproval. Paulie moves so that he has one arm around Bri and the other around me as he guides us to our table. Kevin follows behind, still laughing about my meltdown until we take our seats and Paulie announces, “Enough.”

Kevin rolls his eyes as he slides into the booth beside me. Across the table, the engaged couple cozy up to each other. I put my hand on Kevin’s thigh, making an effort to restore the peace and get him to shut up. Instead, he ignores my gesture and opens the menu.

Eyeing the selection of food, Kevin speaks without looking up. “Bri, you know these two are inseparable, right?” He looks up and meets Bri’s eyes which have a question in them. “I mean Jules can’t go through a day without talking to her brother. And it’s even more ridiculous how J.P. will drop everything and run to her rescue. You’re in for a real treat.”

As he finishes, my mouth gapes open, but he just casually looks back at his menu. “Are you kidding me?” I whisper loud enough for him to hear.

He looks at me and shrugs. “What? It’s the truth, Jules. I’m just warning her.”

“You’re out of line,” Paulie says in that fatherly tone he learned over ten years ago when he became not only my brother but my father as well.

My tattooed boyfriend leans forward, taunting the clean-cut, suit wearing man in front of him. “What are you going to do about it?”

Before Paulie can answer, I announce, “We’re done.”

Kevin’s head whips in my direction. “What?” he asks as though he doesn’t speak the same language as I do.

Straightening up a bit taller, I repeat myself. “I said we’re done. You can come by tomorrow to get your stuff.”

He scoffs then gets serious when he sees I’m not joking. “Come on, Julianna, don’t be like that. I was just messin’ around.”

At the exact same moment my brother and I both tell him not to call me Julianna. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Bri blushing as she realizes she’d made the same mistake earlier.

Kevin cusses under his breath. As he gets out of the booth, he looks from Paulie to me. “You’re going to be miserable and alone the rest of your life because no man will ever be able to fill his shoes,” he says, darting another look at my brother.

Not to be intimidated, Paulie stands up, chest to chest with my now ex-boyfriend and growls, “If I ever see you around my sister again, it won’t be pretty.”

The men stare each other down, neither wanting to be the first to look away. I’m trying to suppress my grin as Kevin squirms but tries to hide his uneasiness. Bri’s hand slips across the table and grabs mine. When I look at her, I can see fear in her eyes and now I’m having to conceal the urge to roll my eyes at her dramatics. Luckily, the waiter, oblivious to this test of manliness, steps between them and Kevin takes off for the door.

I can’t even express my gratitude when Bri is latched on to my brother, tears rolling down her cheeks, and I let my eyes start rolling. Paulie catches me and gives me that fatherly glare of his, which only makes me roll them even more.

Sitting back down with his fiancée, Paulie shakes his head. “Jules, you really have to get better taste in men.”

I laugh and shrug my shoulders. “Eh, he was fun,” I comment and now that he’s gone, I see that. I was never into him. He was sexy and kept things interesting in the bedroom, but I knew when we first met that the relationship would never survive the long haul. 

Pulling out his cell, Paulie asks the intelligent personal assistant, Siri, for the name of a locksmith and asks her to dial the number provided. A quick conversation later and he ends the call.

“Your locks will be changed before I get you home. We’ll meet them at their storefront where we’ll show ID to get your new keys.”

Crunching on a tortilla chip, I give a satisfied smile. Kevin tried to make me feel bad for the bond I share with my sibling, but in the long run, my brother came to my rescue… again.

***

“It was awful!” Bri cries into the phone and I can picture her dramatically flinging herself onto her bed.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad, sis,” I try to reassure her as I walk back and forth, trying to whisper as to not wake anyone.

“She puked at the top of the Arch, her boyfriend laughed about it. Then James Paul almost got in a fight with him at lunch!” she exclaims and I stifle my laughter.

I really would’ve loved to see this whole thing. The more I hear about Jules, the more I can’t wait to meet her. From what Bri’s said, she seems tough on the outside but relies on her brother to fight her battles.

“Brianna, I have to go, but listen to me. Stop trying to impress her and just be yourself. I love you, sis.”

“Thanks, Bent. I love you, too,” she says and our phone call ends.

Crawling back into bed, I close my eyes and let out a long sigh. I have a feeling this is only the beginning of the wedding drama. This sister of J.P.’s seems to be giving my sister a hard time so I’ll have to see what I can do about that.

CHAPTER 5

Teetering down my hallway in one turquoise ankle-wrapped heel and one black peep-toe one, I ask my brother, “Can I be me tonight or do I have to be conservative?”

He gives me a once over, checking out my modest black cocktail dress that showcases the few curves I have in the right places. Another thing I inherited from my father was my practically flat chest. The few traits I got from my mother were all the good ones like her long eyelashes and baby blue eye color.

Pointing to my feet, Paulie answers, “Conservative.”

Letting out a loud, exasperated sigh, I slip off both shoes and head back to my room to finish getting ready. I already knew how he’d answer. Tonight is the engagement party and the first time I’m meeting
her
family. All I know about them is her parents have their own, very successful business and she has an older brother named Bentley.
Seriously, who names their kid Bentley?
They live in the country on about twenty acres of land so I can only assume their upbringing was
much
different than ours.

Curling the end of my long, brunette hair, I see Paulie behind me in the mirror. I set the flat iron down and start putting on my make-up, calling to him over my shoulder, “What’d I do now?”

He shakes his head and lets out a small laugh. “Nothing, Jules. Here, I have something for you.”

Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a strand of pearls and places it around my neck. “This was Mom’s. She wanted you to have it when the time was right. I know her and Dad would’ve been just as proud of you today as I am, Julianna. You’ve grown into a confident, kind-hearted, beautiful woman,” he says as he closes the clasp.

My fingers run over the smooth jewels as tears sting my eyes. Mom hung on a bit longer than Dad after the accident, but I was only twelve. I didn’t understand everything that was going on. Parents were meant to be invincible and I’d just lost my father, the thought of losing my mother too had never crossed my mind. Little did I know that those few days after the accident, Paulie and my mother were planning out the rest of my life. Some were small gifts or gestures like this that Paulie had given me over the years, but the biggest was the iron clad will my mother had redone at the last minute, making Paulie my guardian.

Looking back now, I regret not having stayed curled up in that hospital bed with my mother until she took her last breath. No, I was too busy being a pre-teen, thinking the world revolved around me and how unfair it was that my Daddy was gone. I sat in the waiting room, sulking and whining about being ready to go home in between Jerry Springer episodes.

A few tears fall and I’m glad I wasn’t finished with my make-up yet. I turn into my brother’s embrace and squeeze him. I’m not ready to let him go. Despite how confident my brother thinks I may be, it’s only because he’s always by my side.

Pulling back, he runs his index finger down my nose and taps the end. “Alright, Jules, no more tears. We’re leaving in ten minutes so finish getting ready.”

Alone in the bathroom, I close the door and sob for the next five minutes. Feelings of fear and loneliness wash over me. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Fear of losing Paulie to
her
.

That last thought makes me feel weak. Jealousy. I am not that kind of person. I want my brother to be happy, I really do, even if it is with her. Standing up, I take a deep breath and splash cold water on my cheeks. Starting over, I throw on some foundation and mascara and walk into the living room, barely meeting my brother’s deadline.

I have to smile as he drives us to his future in-laws’ house and he chats nervously. I’ve never seen my brother so worked-up before. I sigh to myself. She must really be the one, even if I don’t want to admit it.

Forty minutes later, he turns onto a gravel road and before me sits the most gorgeous country house. Not that I’ve seen many in my lifetime, but it reminds me of something you’d see in the movies with a wrap-around porch, terrace area, and perfectly landscaped flower beds and lawn. Beside me I hear Paulie laugh as he puts the SUV in park.

“Close your mouth, Jules.”

I hadn’t even realized my jaw had dropped at the sight of this beautiful home. That’s what it is. A home. Without even knowing the people that live inside it, I could already picture the Ladner family relaxing on the porch in the hot, Missouri summers, homemade ice cream churning on the driveway while the kids caught fireflies. I only imagine this scene because it’s one of the last memories I have of my family as a whole.

Standing on the glorious front porch where so many memories were probably created for Bri and her brother, Paulie hands me a bottle of wine. “Here, this is a gift to give Mrs. Ladner for hosting the party.”