because I have to, and all of a sudden, my activities are fair game
for public consumption."
"Not yours—
his,"
Will pointed out, absentmindedly fingering
the platinum ring that Simon called a wedding band and Will referred
to as "Simon's security blanket."
"You're right. I just can't seem to extricate myself. He's omnipresent.
And it's such a weird situation."
"How so?" We both smiled when Simon swooshed by in an
angry huff of ivory linen, and Will mouthed the word
snit.
"Well . . . I don't actually like Philip as a person, but—"
"Darling! Don't let that stop you from dating someone! If
liking
the person was a requirement for having sex with them, well then,
we'd all be in trouble."
"See, that's the other thing. I'm not actually sleeping with him.
Or rather, he's not sleeping with me."
Will raised an eyebrow. "I have to admit, that one puzzles me."
"Well, at first it was because I didn't want to. Or at least
that's what I thought. I just thought he was kind of a jerk, and even
though I'm sure of it now, there's something that attracts me to him.
Not in any kind of redeeming-quality way whatsoever, but he's cer-
tainly different from everyone else I know. And he's just not interested."
Will was about to say something but stopped himself just as his
mouth opened. He appeared to regroup for a minute and then
said, "I see. Well, ah, I have to say, I'm not actually surprised."
"Will! Am I that much of a cow?"
"Darling, I have neither the time nor the inclination to spoonfeed
you compliments right now. You know that's precisely not
how I meant it. I just find it unsurprising since it's the men who
talk about sex the most, the ones who make it such a crucial element
of their identities, who actually define themselves by it, are
usually the ones not performing up to par. With most people,
when they're happy with that area of their lives, they're also happy
to keep it private. All of this is by way of saying that I think you
have the best situation possible right now."
"Oh, really? Why's that?"
"Because from what you've mentioned before, it's important
to your boss and colleagues that the Brit stay in the picture,
right?"
"Correct. Your niece is a glorified prostitute, and it's all your
fault."
He ignored that comment. "Well, it seems that it's an easy out,
no? You can continue spending time with him as you—or your
company—see fit, but you don't actually have to, ah, participate in
anything unsavory. You're getting credit for minimal work, darling."
That was an interesting way of looking at it. I wanted to tell
him about Sammy, maybe even ask his advice, but I realized it was
ridiculous to talk about my unrequited crush. Before I could
broach the subject either way, my cell phone rang.
"Philip," I announced, wondering, as usual, whether to answer
it. "He seems to instinctively call at the most inopportune
times."
"Answer it, darling. I'm going to find Simon and soothe his jangled
nerves. That man is a walking basket case, and I'm afraid it's
due in no small part to yours truly." With that, he strolled out.
"Hello?" I said, pretending, as everyone does, that I had no
idea who was calling.
"Please hold for Philip Weston," a hollow voice replied. A moment
later, Philip came on. "Bette! Where are you? The driver said
you're not home, and I can't imagine where else you'd be."
There were a few things to process here, not the least of which
was how I'd just been blatantly accused of having no life outside
of him.
"I'm sorry, who's speaking?" I asked formally.
"Oh, stop banging on like that, Bette. It's Philip. I sent a car to
your flat, but you're not there. Bungalow is blowing up tonight and
I want to see you. Get over here," he commanded.
"While I appreciate the sentiment, I have plans tonight, Philip. I
can't make it," I said for emphasis.
I could hear Eminem in the background and then muffled
words from another male voice.
"Hey, some guy wants me to say hello for him. The fucking
bouncer.
Jesus, Bette, you must patronize this establishment more
than I had originally thought. Man, what's your name?"
If I'd been given the choice at that moment, I would've chosen
death over talking to Sammy through Philip. But before I could
change the subject or ask him to move away so I could hear him
better, Philip said, "Are you listening to my conversation? Sod off,
man."
I cringed.
"Philip, thank you so much for the gorgeous flowers," I blurted
out, trying desperately to divert his attention. "They were the most
beautiful I've ever seen, and I'm so happy you'll be doing the
BlackBerry party."
"What?" More mumbled talking. "The bouncer's called Sammy
and he says he's working with you on a party or something. What's
he talking about, Bette?"
"Yes, that's what I was just saying. The BlackBerry party." I was
screaming into the phone now, trying to be heard over the background
noise. "The one you agreed to do . . . the flowers . . . the
note . . . any recollection?"
"Flowers?" He sounded genuinely confused.
"The ones you sent me just earlier today? Remember?"
"Oh, right on, love. I suppose Marta sent them. She's quite attentive
to the details, sending shit at all the right times. She's my
best girl."
It was my turn to be confused. "Marta?"
"My assistant. She runs my life, makes me look good. Works
well, doesn't it?" I could almost hear him grinning through the
phone.
"So did she tell you that she agreed on your behalf to host this
party?" I kept my voice as steady and measured as was humanly
possible.
"Not for a second, love, but that's all right. If she's keen on it,
then so am I. She'll just tell me where to be and when. What?" he
asked, sounding distracted.
"What?" I asked back.
"Hold on a moment, the bouncer wants to talk to you. He said
it's about work."
This was unacceptable. I'd almost—almost—forgotten that
Sammy had been standing there listening to this entire exchange.
He'd heard the bit about the flowers, and certainly how patronizing
Philip had been during his charming pronouncement that
the bouncer wanted to talk to me. "Wait! Philip, don't just go
and—"
"Hello, Bette?" It was Sammy. I couldn't even speak. "You still
there?"
"I'm here," I said meekly. The flutter feeling described so
vividly in all my books began immediately, and with great forcefulness.
"Hey, listen, I just wanted to—"
I cut him off without thinking and blurted, "I'm sorry he
sounds like such an asshole right now, but he really can't help it,
since that's exactly what he is."
There was a momentary silence and then a deep, appreciative
laugh. "Well, you said it, not me. Although I won't disagree
with you." Again I heard some sort of muffled exchange and
then heard Sammy call out, "I'll keep it right here for you,
man."
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Your boyfr—your, uh, your friend—spotted another, uh, a
friend and went inside to say hello. He just left me with his phone.
Hope he's not too upset if it gets accidentally run over by a cab.
Listen, I really wanted to apologize for this afternoon. I don't know
what got into me, but I had no right to say that stuff to you. We
don't even know each other, and I was totally out of line."
Here it was! My big apology, and he couldn't have sounded
more sincere had he showed up outside my apartment and serenaded
me in the adorable Calvin Klein boxer briefs I just knew he
wore. I wanted to crawl through the phone and into his lap, but I
managed to maintain some semblance of cool.
"Not at all. I'm sorry I snapped at you like that, too. It was just
as much my fault, so please don't worry about a thing."
"Great. So this won't get in the way of our professional relationship,
right? Amy told me today that I'm going to be the primary
liaison for your party, and I didn't want this to affect how well either
of us does our job."
"Uh, right." Our jobs. Of course. "Yes, yes, no problem at all."
I tried to hide my disappointment and obviously didn't do well
because he stammered right back, "Uh, yeah, well, our jobs, and of
course our, uh, our friendship. You know?" I could almost feel him
blushing and wanted nothing more than to stroke his face with my
palm right before wrapping my entire body around his.
"Right. Our friendship." This was getting worse with every
passing second, and I decided that no matter how nice it was to
hear his voice, nothing good could come from continuing the conversation.
"Oh, Bette, I almost forgot to tell you! I spoke to Amy and she
okayed you guys having Bungalow that night. It's in the books and
there's no problem whatsoever. She just has a few requests for
some of her people that she'd like included on the list, but otherwise
you'll control the guest list entirely. She almost never agrees
to that. Perfect, right?"
"Wow!" I said with forced enthusiasm. "That's really great news.
Thanks so much!"
Some girls started giggling in the background, one of them
saying his name a few times, obviously trying to get his attention.
"Well, duty calls. I better get back to work. Good talking to
you, Bette. And thanks for being so understanding about today.
Can I call you tomorrow? To, uh, discuss the other details?"
"Sure, sure, that'd be great," I said quickly, eager to hang up
since Will had just walked back in, and he had ominously placed a
sheet of paper in his lap. "I'll talk to you then. Bye."
"Was that your boyfriend?" Will asked, picking up his drink
again and settling back into the chair.
"No," I sighed, reaching for my own martini. "It most definitely
was not."
"Well, not to rain on this little party here, but you'll have to
read it at some point." He cleared his throat and picked up the
sheet. "By Ellie Insider. She writes a paragraph about her trip to
Los Angeles last week and all the movie stars with whom she partied.
That's followed by a short ditty concerning her immense popularity
with designers, to the point where they all clamor to dress
her for events. We're up next. It's short, but not sweet. 'Since any
friend of Philip Weston's is a friend of ours, we realized we didn't
know much about his new girlfriend, Bette Robinson. We do know
that she's a graduate of Emory University, an ex-employee of UBS
Warburg, and the new darling of Kelly & Company PR, but did you
know that she's also the niece of columnist Will Davis? The oncefavored
arbiter of all things Manhattan has, admittedly, become a