Everything I Do: a Robin Hood romance (Rosa Fitzwalter Book 1) (34 page)

His eyes searched hers pleadingly.

“I love you,” he said with a breath like a shudder.

CHAPTER
13

THE SISTER

He insisted on leaving after that.

He did not trust himself with her anymore: he didn’t even kiss her. He stayed until he was sure she understood what he was telling her, and then, when she fell asleep, he got up and left.

Sir Gavin met him at the grand hall.

“Oh no,” he said in that sarcastic way of his. “Outlaw or no outlaw, you are not leaving her like that again.”

“Like what?” Robin asked, surprised.

“Broken-hearted,” Sir Gavin answered severely.

So Robin went back upstairs and waited for her to wake up. As soon as she saw him her face lit up with a smile, but he could see the doubt clouding her eyes, and he hated himself for it.

“Master,” she said drowsily.

“Rosa,” he whispered coarsely, although the words that had sprung to his lips at first had been ‘my love’. “Listen, I have to…”

“Go,” she said. “I know. You’ve stayed too long already.”

“No,” he said quickly, “you know it will tear me in half to part with you so soon, but the truth is, things have sort of fallen apart in the forest in the last few months…”

Rosa looked at him anxiously.

“Because of me?” she asked.

“Because of me,” he corrected. “However, I find I have renewed strength to deal with… everything.”

He looked at her and his eyes shone.

She smiled again, and turned away. Then, suddenly, she became serious again.

“What is it?” he asked immediately, leaning in. “You were happy a minute ago. Now your smile is gone. Why?”

“I was just… thinking about what you said yesterday…”

“Yes?”

She remained silent.

He knew what she was asking, but he wanted to hear her say it.

“Look at me.”

She didn’t. He took her hand and engulfed it in his, slender fingers dwarfed by warm, tapered ones.

“I love you,” he said. “It’s true, you didn’t dream it. I said it and I meant it. I love you. I love you.”

She finally raised shy eyes to him.

He laughed, his black intelligent eyes twinkling with a secret light.

“You heard me, yes?”

She nodded.

“Good,” he said. “Not that I mind repeating it. In fact,” he leaned back, “I intend to repeat it as long as you need me to, as many times as you wish, until you fully believe it.”

“Master…”

“Call me Robin.”

“Robin.”

“Yes, Rosa.”

“How did it happen? I mean, why… I don’t… I never dreamed…”

He couldn’t help kissing her.

He tried to check himself, but he was beyond holding back, as he tasted her lips, and turned her neck with his palm so that he would savor her as much as possible. She sighed against his mouth, and he let her breathe, but did not release her yet.

He leaned his head against the hollow of her neck.

“You
will
believe me,” he repeated. “I am serious in what I am telling you, Rosa. I love you, I’ve loved you from the very first. I loved you when I thought I’d lost you forever. And I loved you when I found you hanging from that wall two days ago, dripping with blood… I broke my heart with loving you.”

He kissed her temple.

“My love,” he whispered.

She hid her face in his chest, smelling the sunshine and sadness on his torn tunic and he caressed her hair as he had longed to do since the first time he saw it, flowing behind her in the morning light, reaching all the way down to the water.

“I know it is a lot for you to believe,” he said, “especially given my behavior, but I promise you this: I’ll make you believe in me if I don’t do anything else.  I have to leave you now, and it is killing me more effectively than a thousand burning arrows, but I swear to you, I will
not
lose you again.” He deliberated for a second, then added: “I’ll send one of my men here to stay with you, so that he’ll be nearby and call me at a moment’s notice should you need me. What do you think?”

“Julian,” she said. “Could you please send Julian?”

He promised he would, although he wondered at her choice, but right now his heart was breaking in a million pieces and he didn’t have time to worry about the silly youth. If she wanted Julian as her guard, then by heaven she would have Julian as her guard.

“Goodbye,” he said after a few minutes of gazing at her and warring with himself.

She didn’t speak but held on to his hand and didn’t let go.

With a shudder he placed his hands on either side of her face and brought her lips to his, trembling as he kissed her. She was shaking too, and he cradled her head in his fingers to show her she was safe with him now, and would be always, although he had no idea of what the future was holding for them both.

Their kiss lasted until they couldn’t breathe anymore, and then they parted panting, wiping tears off their cheeks.

He saw that she was paler than before.

“Did I hurt you in any way?” he asked her carefully.

“You are so beautiful,” she replied, “you hurt me everywhere.”

He waited until she had fallen asleep to leave.

He did not dare glance back at the castle as he was galloping away that evening, to the window of the chamber where his heart lay.

He did not dare, and so he rode madly and recklessly to the forest, and once there he threw himself into plans and action.

“You’re to go back to the castle,” he told Julian, and at that moment, he was so jealous of anyone who would be with her, and watch her even from afar, that he could punch the man in the mouth.

“Very well,” Julian said, and went to pack his weapons without a second word.

Robin ran to him and grabbed him by the shoulder roughly.

“Listen here,” he said, and his eyes were flashing. “You’ll be kind to her and good, and you’ll take excellent care of her and never leave her out of your sight, and if you even think that there is even a
slight
chance of any danger approaching…”

His voice broke and he turned away.

“I know, chief,” Julian said, not unkindly.

Robin turned to him again.

“Or I’ll have your head on a platter,” he finished.

“Oh, that goes without saying,” Julian said.

…

Julian wasn’t exactly happy at the castle.

Soon enough Rosa was up and about, but for him there was little to do except follow her every step and keep his eyes open whenever someone new appeared at the castle.

And many did.

Sir Gavin decided to throw an banquet, followed by two weeks of celebrations: they’d start with the village fair on St. Valentine’s day. He would open his house to a multitude of guests and much merry-making, something he abhorred with a passion, but it could not be helped. It was the best way to show to the Sheriff, and the rest of the world, that everything was fine, no invasion of armored men marring the serenity of the castle’s existence.

In a fortnight they would have their celebration, the castle fully restored to order by that time. And the pretense that nothing had ever happened, for the sake of his lands and people, would be carried out with a display of wealth unparalleled, even by Nottingham’s own grand affairs.

So tables were put out and dresses were sewn and the castle walls were patched-up hastily. In the kitchens, maids were busy from dawn till dark, working their fingers to the bone.

Soon enough the guests began arriving: a trickling of fine courtiers at first, and then, as the day of the banquet approached, their number increased until every bedchamber in the castle was filled to capacity.

Opulent lords with rotund bellies and fair-faced youths offered their arms to beautiful maidens who strolled the grounds. Grand ladies, gossiping and rustling with silks turned their fans in flirtation, and a band of troubadours filled the grand hall with music every single day.

Sir Gavin sent to the forest for a few more men to add to his own guard, for in those days danger was certainly lurking about when so many lords and ladies gathered. And so the day of the feast approached.

In the meantime Robin was facing unforeseen difficulties.

Soon after he was gone from the castle it became apparent to him that it would be extremely dangerous if not foolhardy to return. For all he knew, the Sheriff might have the place watched.

So for the sake of his men Robin had to stay where he was, and that’s what he did, praying day and night that his love was safe and still believing in him though they were apart.

He heard with trepidation of Sir Gavin’s grand plans, but he knew that this was the right thing to do, or they were all of them lost. He watched over his men as they recuperated from battle, and put his camp in order, hunting and fashioning new weapons like he did of old.

But he’d left his heart behind, in Sir Gavin’s castle, gazing longingly inside the tiny window where Rosa’s candle was burning for him nightly.

Rosa, however, was entirely occupied with thinking about Julian for the moment.

She had no intention of losing her brother again once she had found him -if, indeed it was he. But it was proving harder and harder each day that passed to get him to talk to her, let alone to like her. Let alone to believe her fantastic story of how his little sister was alive.

She had turned over the matter in her mind most profoundly, and judged the coincidence of the miniature portrait along with the hazy memories of her very early childhood, weighing them with care, and had come to a conclusion. The most possible, if improbable explanation, was that he and the lonely boy from her dreams were one and the same. How it had come about she hardly knew, but she hoped that once she had him to herself she would tell him the part of the story she remembered, and then he’d provide the rest of the details.

But Julian had scarcely spoken two words together to her.

He kept watch over her and he tried to find some way to occupy his time, but he was clearly unhappy and perhaps even resentful towards her.

“You are not content, my lady,” Sir Gavin said to her one day. “Are your injuries giving you pain still?”

She was taking a stroll through his gardens, dressed in a simple silk dress with a cream bodice and a red overskirt lined with fur, an ethereal headpiece stirring in the morning breeze with her hair. The grounds were gleaming with the last of the snow in the late afternoon sun, and Sir Gavin was seated in a stone bench in a corner, watching her in his quiet way.

“No my lord,” Rosa replied absent-mindedly. “Thanks to your capable and caring maids as well as the multitude of healers you have provided for me, I hardly feel any pain.”

“I am glad to hear it,” Sir Gavin said calmly. His eyes never left her face, however. “But there is something that troubles you, and I would like to know what that is.”

It was strange, his way of almost never asking for anything, but always demanding, simply stating. Yet no one ever seemed to be able to refuse him.

“It is…” Rosa inclined her head slightly towards the stables, where Julian was seen grooming his horse. “It is my guard,” she finished her phrase, helplessly.

Sir Gavin was on his feet.

“I will send immediately to the forest for a replacement,” he said, “Has he insulted you? Harmed you in any way?”