Everything I Know About Love I Learned From Romance Novels (10 page)

Part of the charm of Crusie’s heroes, particularly these two, is that they are befuddled and bothered by their emotions and have to navigate that confusion. Crusie’s heroes narrate some of their own stories, so the reader learns about the heroine and the hero in equal measure.

DAIN

Lord of Scoundrels

By Loretta Chase

Lord of Scoundrels
is, as you may have already read, a book used by many of us romance readers to change the minds of those who sniff disdainfully at the genre but are still curious about it enough to try one. Dain, the hero, is a complete nightmare as a person until he meets Jessica, the heroine. As reader Jay puts it, “His snarling self-sufficiency starts to melt at his first contact with Jessica, and despite all of his blustering denial, he is clearly captivated. Watching him realize it and struggle to regain his equilibrium is so satisfying. It is the story of his journey to becoming the hero worthy of Jess’s strength and love.”

Among the leaders of the Dain Fangirl Club is Candy, the cofounder of
Smart Bitches,
who loves this book in a million different exclamation-point-strewn ways. When I asked her why she liked Dain so much, she said, “Dain works so well for me because the book opens with his awful childhood. Most heroes with massive asshole streaks (I know that phrase can be read in a completely different way than I meant it, but I’m totally leaving that in there because it makes me laugh) spring from the pages fully-formed, like Minerva from Zeus’s head, except with bigger cocks and more forceful kissing proclivities. But we get to see Dain when he was young and squishy and vulnerable. Proto-Dain isn’t an asshole. Proto-Dain sought love and approval and affection. Adult Dain is what he is because Proto-Dain’s gentler impulses were hammered out of him.

“I also love Dain because while he’s a massive jerk, he has principles and boundaries…Dain grew into a sensitive man who ultimately had too much empathy and humanity to step over the line into brutality, which so many other romance heroes have.

“Speaking of sensitivity: another reason why I love Dain so much is that Chase quite clearly shows us, without ever telling us, that Dain is really high-strung underneath his fearsome exterior. When Jessica bothers him and his brain becomes totally disordered and he becomes borderline obsessive, or when he’s confronted by his illegitimate child and all he wants is to get him away as fast as he can? If Dain could see a shrink today, the shrink would probably diagnose him with an anxiety disorder and coax him through some cognitive behavioral therapy. Dain’s growth is much more believable and organic because Jessica also behaves convincingly: she consistently confronts him with his irrationality and holds him accountable for his bad behavior, and best of all, Dain eventually learns.

“And last, but not least, I love Dain because he has a sense of humor, and because he’s funny without necessarily meaning to be. His personal dictionary, for example, in which he categorizes and defines various classes of people? Funny as hell. And the whip-smart, whip-quick banter between him and Jessica still stands as some of my favorite examples of dialogue in any romance novel, ever. Also, while Dain is arrogant, he isn’t self-important and he doesn’t take himself too seriously, which is a refreshing change from other romance heroes, because I think a lot of asshole heroes, especially those from the ’70s, ’80s, and early ’90s, are arrogant because they’re self-important twats.”

DOMINIC (ALSO DOMINIC’S FATHER, THE DUKE OF AVON)

Devil’s Cub

By Georgette Heyer

Dominic Alastair, called “Vidal” throughout most of
Devil’s Cub
, is, to put it frankly, a complete jerkwad. He takes advantage of women, he is rather insatiable in his appetites for things he shouldn’t be doing, and he thinks he is irresistible, which is why it is unabashed fun when he meets his match in Mary, the heroine.

Ros says that she “loves the bad boys who turn (almost) good once they find the right woman: Dominic Alastair (
Devil’s Cub
) and Jasper Damerel (
Venetia
) are my absolute all-time favorites. Both of them are fun, clever, surprisingly caring, and utterly drop-dead gorgeous.”

Broke Baroque agrees: “I tend to gravitate toward the Bad Boy end of the hero spectrum. I love me some rakes and libertines, the more dissipated and jaded the better, who are reformed by love. Well, not totally reformed, I guess—more like they fall in love and start to understand that there’s more to life than getting drunk all the time. I just like the fantasy of the playboy rake turning respectable for the love of a good woman.”

Alex echoes Broke’s comments and says Dominic is one of her earliest ideal heroes: “I read
Devil’s Cub
at a clearly impressionable age and Dominic is, and always has been, at the top of my list. Entirely Alpha but I think Heyer puts it beautifully when Mary says, ‘I could manage him.’ I think that one simple line sums it up, really—we want to think that we can tame a bad boy.”

FREDDY

Cotillion

By Georgette Heyer

Heyer has crafted several heroes that readers adore, and Freddy is definitely one. Scribblerkat says that she adores Freddy because she loves “the Sidekicks and the Unlikely Heroes. But most of all I love the heroes whose primary characteristics are intelligence and a sense of humor. A prime example of the latter is Freddy from Georgette Heyer’s
Cotillion
.”

Kitzie says that “there’s only one strictly romance hero that I like that would also be good in real life: Freddy from
Cotillion
. He would stand by you and make you laugh. That’s way more dreamy than a muscular torso.”

And the top two heroes, the two that make the most readers swoon and make the patented Good Romance Novel Noise:

JAMIE FRASER

Outlander

By Diana Gabaldon

- AND -

FITZWILLIAM DARCY

Pride and Prejudice

By Jane Austen

Why these two? Samantha explains Fraser’s appeal best: “If I were going to use a fictional character as a measuring stick for future relationships, Jamie Fraser would be it. Gabaldon doesn’t gloss over his flaws. He’s not a perfect specimen of humanity, physically or in his personality. [His relationship with Claire] has its ups and downs, but the bond is deeper than ‘they’re the hero and the heroine, and therefore they shall live happily ever after according to the laws heretofore set forth by the romance gods.’”

As for Darcy, his appeal as a romantic hero has been sustained for nearly two hundred years, since
Pride and Prejudice
was published in 1813. Part of his appeal lies in his transformation, from sullen, unyielding snob to dedicated, quiet suitor for Elizabeth Bennet’s affections. Darcy initiates such a complete change to his character, all in an effort to be worthy of someone else, and that effort has earned him many a sigh-worthy moment from romance readers.

Colin Firth wet and almost-shirtless helps considerably as well.

In addition to recognizing quality people and solid relationships that can survive anything that life—or a romance author—can come up with, one of the most important codes that romance novels hide within the genre is the ability to identify what makes for damaging, hurtful, and dangerous relationships. Many romance characters are recovering from difficult or even deadly relationships with people who were abusive, sneaky, or just neglectful. From a narration standpoint, it makes for easy contrast with the hero: the hero is light years more hot, stable, kind, honorable, and worthy than the Bad Ex or the Former Husband or even the Vengeful and Somewhat Batshit-Crazy Father Figure. From a reader’s standpoint, it’s a laundry list of behavior to avoid and, more importantly, to recognize. What’s interesting is how many romance readers recognize traits they love in fiction and in heroes which they would abhor in actual people—and how these readers can absolutely identify the differences and similarities in their own lives.

A reader on my site who goes by the name “readinginpublic” says that she’s noticed when something that’s alluring in fiction is not at all appealing in real life: “What I love in book heroes is very off-putting in a real-life man. There’s a guy in my life right now who is completely chasing me. He’s very jealous, aggressive, emotionally dependent, and is a black belt in tae kwon do. But although I like the protective part, everything else is just scary, considering that he won’t take NO for an answer!

“I admire that in book heroes, but the slight obsessiveness is frightening in real life. It’s weird. What I read about in books, I will not always like in an actual man. I think that what I’d like in a man in real life is more the type who is willing to be pursued rather than doing the pursuing. He’s got to be independent. No whining about how he can’t live without me.”

The romance version of the driven man who pursues the person he is interested in comes with the Romance Novel Guarantee that, by virtue of being the hero of a romance novel, this hero comes with the best and most virtuous of intentions and is meant to be with the heroine. In other words, he won’t go all psychopants in the end and turn into a complete assnugget. One hopes that the author will write a convincing story that will explain or mitigate some of the driven obsessive pursuit that, as readinginpublic says, is rather alarming in real life. Someone who is “jealous, aggressive, emotionally dependent” and possessing the capability to do violence is not a benevolent protector.

It can be difficult to tell the difference between someone who has the capacity to change, and someone who is plain, unfiltered crazysauce in fiction and in real life. As Hezabelle wrote, “I like them best when they
seem
like stubborn jerks but then have this secret caring/protective side. Sadly, I like them like that in real life too. But without inner dialogue it’s a lot harder to tell whether they’re secretly caring or just plain stubborn jerks.”