Everything She Wanted (17 page)

Kate stood by and let Ben take care of her. She hadn’t balked at him taking off the hospital gown. In fact, she didn’t feel the least bit self-­conscious. This was Ben. The man who showed up at two in the morning at the hospital in his wrinkled blue dress
shirt and a pair of old worn jeans with his hair in disarray. He’d jumped out of bed and come running to her.

She turned to him, wearing his shirt, and looked him up and down.

“What?” he asked, wary of her perusal.

“How is it that you look seriously sexy in a suit and damn delectable in jeans?”

He chuckled, reached out, and hooked his hand around the back of her neck under her
hair. “How is that you look so damn adorable in my shirt?”

“I like the shirt. It’s my new favorite thing.”

“I hoped I’m your new favorite thing.”

“You’re the very best thing in my life. You and Alex.”

Ben pulled her close and walked backward toward the bed, pulling her along. She went willingly. She couldn’t put up much of a fuss. The last of her energy dissipated as Ben turned
and gently pushed her shoulders so she’d sit on the bed. He reached down, hooked his arm under her legs, and put them up on the bed, helping her roll to her side, facing Alex. He leaned down and kissed her on the head, making her feel even more special and loved.

Yes, he made her feel loved.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes. Try to get some sleep.”

She grabbed his hand before he walked
away. “Wait. Where are you going?”

“To get your bags and Alex’s stuff. He’s going to need a bottle and diaper change soon.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Ben leaned down, planted his hands on both sides of her shoulders, and kissed her softly, taking his time, letting the kiss stretch out even as her nerves relaxed. His mouth met hers again and again with soft brushes.

“I’ll be right back. Please,
Kate, rest.” Ben tucked the blankets around her. She tried to find a comfortable position, but she ached and the cuts on her back hurt. Ben’s hand settled on her thigh, just like in the hospital. Just the feel of his hand, the reassurance that he was there, settled her. He walked out of the room, flipping the light off, but not leaving her in the dark. Light from the hall spilled into the room.
She felt the loss of Ben and held her breath waiting for him to return, listening to every sound in the unfamiliar place. The fear of losing Alex and the fight she’d had with that man washed over her again as she thought about the night’s events.

Alex stirred beside her. She couldn’t help but think he sensed her unease. She rubbed his back, hoping to ease him back to sleep, but he let out
a wail and cried. He needed a diaper and a bottle. She needed to sleep. All of a sudden her energy disappeared, but she scooted up on the mattress, put her back to the soft pillows, leaning to one side away from the worst of the stitches, and picked Alex up, settling him against her chest.

“I’ll bring the diaper bag and a bottle,” Ben called down the hall. The front door shut behind him with
a thud.

Too tired to answer him back, she focused on her son. “There now, Ben’s on the way.”

Kate pressed the pacifier into Alex’s mouth, laid him back on her up-­drawn knees, and rocked him side to side with her legs. She softly sang “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” over and over until Ben walked in, smiling at her.

“You’ve got a pretty voice.”

“It’s late. You’re overtired and
being nice because I’m a wreck.”

Ben shook his head. “You are not a wreck. And I do like your voice.” He spread the changing pad on the bed, picked up Alex, and laid him on it. He undid Alex’s sleeper, changed his wet diaper in a snap, and folded the soiled diaper like an expert. He put Alex back on her lap and handed her the bottle. “Let me get rid of this”—­he held up the diaper—­“and I’ll
be right back.”

Alex happily sucked on his bottle, his eyes bright and very awake. He held her thumb, squeezing tight like he didn’t want her to go.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’m staying with you forever.”

“Are you talking to me?” Ben said, entering the room, pulling his shirt off over his head. She swallowed hard and stared at his bare chest, six-­pack abs, and gulp-­worthy biceps.
“Kate?”

“Huh? Yeah?”

“Were you talking to me?”

Eyes glued on his massive shoulders and lethal biceps, she said, “No. I was talking to Alex.” But maybe she meant it for Ben too. The more time she spent with him, the more she wanted. The more she dreamed.

“You keep staring at me like that and I’m going to have to do something about it.”

Her gaze shot up to his. The right side
of his mouth cocked up, revealing that dimple she loved, and his eyes sparkled with mirth.

“I’m not used to seeing you not wearing a suit.” The stupid statement only made him smile more.

“I’ll work on that.”

As in she’d get to see him out of his suit more often. Yes, please. She slid her gaze back over his broad chest to his lean waist and over the thick ridge pressed up the length
of his fly.

He undid the button on his jeans. She gulped.

Her gaze shot back to his. “Don’t. Have mercy on a girl in my condition. I can only take so much.”

Ben’s deep chuckle reverberated in her chest. He went to the dresser, grabbed a T-­shirt, and disappeared into the bathroom. She let out a ragged breath and raked her fingers through her hair. What she wouldn’t give to make love
to Ben and forget about everything that happened. She wanted to lie in his arms, feel his strength, and take it in, because right now she felt weak. Afraid. Not for herself, but for her son. She’d do anything to protect him. The aches and pains she felt proved that. She’d lay down her life for his. She hoped it didn’t come to that.

“Kate, honey, what’s wrong?”

Ben stood beside the bed.
He’d left the hall light on, the bedroom door closed but for a slim crack. He stood in the sliver of light. Concern etched lines in his forehead as he bent over her, hands planted on the bed beside her.

“Nothing. I’m fine. Tired.”

“Give him to me. I’ll finish feeding him and get him back to sleep.” Ben scooped up Alex and held him tucked in the crook of his arm. Ben wore the clean T-­shirt
and black boxer briefs. Sexy. Relaxed. Comfortable, like they did this all the time.

Ben walked around the bed and climbed in beside her, leaning back against the headboard, much like her. Kate scrubbed her hands over her face and dug them into her tired, itchy eyes.

“Come on, honey, slide down and rest. I’ve got Alex. You sleep.”

“You must be exhausted too.”

“I’m fine. More worried
about you than anything.”

Kate settled into the mattress and pillow on her side facing Ben and Alex. She stared at her sweet boy, so lovingly held and cared for in Ben’s strong arms. Alex stared up at Ben, so trusting and enamored with him. So awake. She feared he’d never get back to sleep now and keep Ben up all night.

Ben rearranged Alex in his arm, so he could hold the baby and the
bottle with the same hand. His other hand settled on her head. “Close your eyes, honey. Relax.” He brushed his fingers over her head and down her long hair over and over again. The hypnotic caress eased her muscles, but her mind took her back to what happened, seeing Alex in that man’s hands as Mariana pleaded with her father to let him go.

Tears fell from her eyes. Reliving those terrifying
moments left her raw and unable to hold it together any longer. Ben’s fingertips brushed across her cheek and back into her hair. She scooted closer and buried her face in his side, smelling the spring scent of his laundry soap on his shirt, feeling him breathe, and hearing the steady beat of his heart.

Alex finished his bottle. Ben adjusted him up and over his shoulder and patted his back,
waiting for the inevitable burp.

How could this man be so sweet and kind? She’d never known anyone like him.

His deep voice broke the quiet. He sang “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” over and over again to settle Alex back into sleep. He never stopped running his hand over her hair and down along her arm, constantly letting her know he was there with her. He’d protect her. It was safe to let go,
he’d be there for her.

She could get used to this. To him. She wanted more. Dangerous territory in her book, but with a man like Ben, worth the risk.

Chapter Eighteen

B
EN WOKE UP
with that damn nursery rhyme still in his head two days after Kate got attacked at Haven House. Alex stirred on his chest, and Kate snuggled up to his side. He loved having them here, but God, being close to her these last two days, spending all their time together at his place, seeing her making meals in his kitchen, made him realize he wanted to make
her a permanent part of his life.

Hell, wanting her was killing him.

If he spent one more day in her company, one more night in the same bed without touching her the way he wanted, he’d go completely insane. All he thought about was stripping her bare and making love to her. They’d shared several hot make-­out sessions on the sofa, but she pulled back, put on the breaks, and retreated
behind the fog she lived in each day. With everything unresolved in her life, he got that she needed time to think about her future and Alex’s. He needed to find a way to not only get her to consider him in that picture, but realize he had no intention of not being included in that future.

She wanted him. He felt it every time he kissed her. Yesterday, she’d actually walked into the kitchen
after putting Alex down for a nap and kissed him. Just a “Hey, I’m here” quick kiss while he put together some sandwiches for them, but it meant so much that she’d come to him. She thought it was just attraction. They certainly shared that. The woman devoured him with her eyes and made him burn without even laying a finger on him. He needed to find a way to get her to acknowledge this thing between
them went deeper than attraction, than lust. He was falling in love with her. He thought she felt the same, but she held herself back more and more. Except for that kiss yesterday. She’d done it without thinking.

So, if she wanted to believe all they shared was intense lust, he’d show her that they certainly had that, and oh so much more.

First, he needed to change the baby’s diaper and
get him ready for his sleepover. He dreaded Kate’s reaction when she found out what he’d set up, but they needed this. A little time alone. And Alex would be safe.

Ben needed to figure out their living arrangement. Alex needed a schedule and his own bed. He’d work on that, too, this weekend. He’d taken Thursday and Friday off to see Kate through after she was attacked, but these next two days
he intended to solidify their relationship and come up with a plan for their future. Okay, he meant to convince her they needed to live together. For her and Alex’s safety. He’d use that excuse for now. She’d see right through it, but would she admit she wanted to live with him? He didn’t know. It all felt so new. He’d never even had a woman spend the night, and here he’d slept with Kate, but
they hadn’t even made love.

I’m losing it.

His body certainly thought he’d lost it. The horny teenager inside that left him in a perpetual state of arousal around Kate shouted for him to do something to stop the agony of wanting her. Now.

Alex gurgled and tried to raise his head, but only ended up face-­planting on his chest. He grabbed fistfuls of Ben’s shirt and dug his hands into
Ben’s tight muscles, trying to push himself up.

He couldn’t lie in bed all day with Kate, but he wanted to. Giving in to his baser needs, he turned and looked at her lying beside him, her face tucked into his side, her legs down the length of his. He loved her long dark hair, the soft slope of her cheeks, and the way her nose turned up just a bit at the end.

“Are you going to feed him?”
She didn’t even open her eyes, which made him smile. She wasn’t a morning person. She liked to wake up slow, cuddling in the covers. And into him. She rubbed her face against his side, then pressed her lips to his ribs and kissed him. She settled back into the mattress like it was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it was when she was still half-­asleep and not thinking about all that happened
and all she had to do. Right here, right now, she could be the woman who wanted him, maybe even loved him.

He ran his hand down her arm and over her hip. “Sleep, honey. I’ll take my best bud and get him squared away.”

Kate wrapped her arm over his middle and hugged him close. “You are the best.”

“I’ll show you how good I am later.”

“Promises, promises,” she mumbled.

He liked
they could tease like this, but she had to know he meant those words. To prove it, he squeezed her hip. “You’ll see, sleepy head.”

“Mmm. Can’t wait,” she whispered, falling back into sleep.

Ben shook his head. He swore she tortured him on purpose. He must love her if all these little things she did without realizing it endeared her to him more and more each day.

Yep, I’m losing it.

Ben rolled out of bed and held Alex high over his head like an airplane. Alex smiled and dropped his pacifier right out of his mouth and onto Ben’s face. It bounced and landed at Ben’s feet.

“Dive-­bombing me so early in the morning, buddy.”

Ben brought Alex down to his shoulder, bent and grabbed the pacifier from the floor, and carried Alex into the kitchen.

“So, do I have time
to make the coffee, or are you starving?”

Alex stared up at him, his blue eyes bright and full of happiness this morning. The kid woke up happy and ready to go, while his mother slept the daylight away.

“Coffee, it is.” Ben rinsed the pacifier in the sink first, then pushed it back into Alex’s mouth to keep him happy for the next few minutes. He set Alex in his bouncy seat on the kitchen
floor and got to work on what they both needed.

Coffee brewing, Alex’s bottle ready. He sat on the sofa, turned on the morning news, and sat feeding Alex, thinking about the day and how he was going to convince Kate to go along with his plans.

He stared down at Alex propped up on his legs staring back at him, happily eating. He liked this time they spent together. He’d grown close to the
baby this week. So much so that the thought of not having him around made Ben a little sad. He liked playing the dad, helping Kate with Alex, and playing with the baby.

“I want to be your dad,” he admitted on a surprised whisper.

He wanted to have more kids with Kate. Alex felt like his. He loved the little boy. Every time he looked at him, he saw Kate. He saw Alex grow in his mind. All
the things Ben would like to do with him. Teach him to play baseball and swim. Take him to his first day of school. Help him with homework. Talk about girls. See him graduate and become a man.

He looked at Alex and saw his own future with Kate beside him, their children the joy of their lives. He loved his work, the accomplishments he’d had over the years, but nothing would be more satisfying
than having a family. Not like the one he or Kate grew up in, but the happy one they’d make together.

By the time he fed Alex, the coffee was ready. He poured himself a mug and carried it down the hall to his bedroom door. He stared at Kate, lying asleep in his bed. Damn, but that was a pretty sight. Her hair spread over the pillow. The splash of sunlight coming from between the curtains highlighted
her face, but didn’t streak across her eyes. Good. She needed her rest. He’d wear her out later.

He grabbed his jeans off the chair and pulled them on. He’d shower in a little while. After he made breakfast.

Alex played on the floor in the living room on his play mat. Ben smiled down at him, sipping his coffee. Alex liked it here. He’d certainly taken over the place. Toys littered the
floor around him, a stuffed dog and bear sat on the couch. Baby bottles, nipples, and extra pacifiers sat on a dish towel next to the sink. A book about baby’s first year sat on his dining room table. Kate read it often, tossing out odd tidbits and facts to him as she read. Yep, they’d made themselves right at home. Now to figure out how to get them to stay. Well, maybe his other idea would work better
if Kate agreed. He’d have to wait and see.

With Alex settled on the floor, playing with a rubber duck that squeaked every time he gnawed on it, Ben went into the kitchen to make breakfast. He pulled out a frying pan, grabbed the eggs and other fixings for Kate’s favorite omelet out of the fridge, and began cooking.

By the time the hash brown patties he had under the broiler browned, she
walked into the room, rubbing her tired eyes. She raked her fingers through her hair, pulling the mass away from her pretty face.

“Morning, beautiful. Hungry?”

“You are the best boyfriend ever.”

Ben went still. He didn’t look at her, just planted his hands on the counter and stared down at the omelet in the pan. The tension in the room built, until he raised his head and stared at
her over the island.

“I thought I’d try it on, see how it feels.”

“And?”

“I like it,” she admitted shyly. “Too much? Too soon?”

“Not enough. It’s about damn time,” he answered, making her laugh.

“You’ve been really sweet these last few days. Well, since the night my sister died, really. You have the patience of a saint. For Alex. And me. You’ve gone out of your way to take
care of me and Alex. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. How much it means to me that I can count on you.”

She trusted him now without hesitation, or a second thought. Finally. Hallelujah. “I want to take care of you,” he assured her, because though she’d said the words, she still needed the reassurance.

“I know. I see that. I’ve been kind of muddling my way through, trying to figure
things out. I still don’t know what to do with everything that’s happened. The one thing that is clear, the thing I see clearly, is you.”

Ben didn’t know what to say.

“I need to start making decisions. I’m starting with you, because although I could get through this on my own, I don’t want to. I’m always the tough girl. The one who has to do everything on her own. When I was lying in that
hospital bed with Alex while they stitched me up, all I could think about was you. I wanted you there with me. I needed you with me.”

“You scared me half to death. It’s bad enough that guy hurt you, but if something happened to you . . .” He hung his head and shook it back and forth. “Kate . . .”

“I know. I see it, Ben. I feel it between us. So instead of doing what I normally do, what
I’ve been doing with you all this time, holding back, I’m doing what my sister wanted, what she was brave enough to do, and so am I. I’m taking that leap of faith because I believe that what we have is something special. It’s not my grief pushing me toward you and the comfort you give to me. It’s so much more and it’s rooted in my heart. It grows every time I see you with my son. Every time you kiss
me. Every time you look at me and I see what I saw when Donald looked at my sister.”

He pushed away from the counter, turned off the stove, and pulled the hash browns from the oven before they burned to a crisp. “I wanted to take this weekend to talk to you about what comes next. Your sister’s house. Donald’s company. Everything.”

Kate rounded the counter and joined him in the kitchen,
stopping a mere six inches away from him. “Yes, we’ve let that all simmer on the back burner. If we don’t take care of it soon, it’ll boil over.”

“You said
we
need to take care of it.”

“You and me. That’s how it works, right?”

Kate rose up to her toes, pressed her body down the length of his, wrapped both her hands around the back of his neck, and pressed her forehead to his. She stared
into his eyes, hers filled with intent and regret all at the same time.

“Every breath I take, every beat of my heart, is for you and Alex. I don’t have one foot out the door. I’m not looking for a way out. I was scared of what I felt for you, but I’m not holding anything back anymore. I want to be with you. I want to make a life with you. I never want to spend a single day without you.”

Overwhelmed by the depth of her words and the emotion she put into them, he crushed his mouth to hers, sliding his tongue deep, taking possession of her mouth. He held her tight to his chest and lifted her right off her feet.

Ben had the woman he loved in his arms. All he wanted to do was take her down the hall to his bed, but if Alex saw her, he’d want her. Ben needed her more right now. He
needed to see her, touch her, worship every square inch of her.

He backed her toward the table. The backs of her legs hit, and he leaned down and laid her out on the solid wood. His lips left hers, but only so he could trail kisses down her neck. He inhaled her sweet floral scent and went dizzy with a lust that nearly sent him to his knees.

Not a bad idea.

He worked his hands under
the T-­shirt she liked to sleep in. His shirt. He slid his hands up her sides, grabbed hold of the shirt, and tore it off over her head.

“Ben.”

His name on her lips came out as a demand he had every intention of answering. Right now. He stared down at her creamy skin, dark hair spread across the table and spilling over, soft pink nipples that hardened beneath his gaze, and down her smooth
stomach to her waist and strong legs that wrapped around him, holding him close.

“God, but you are so damn beautiful.”

She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him down to her. The kiss rocked him and drove him on to show her how much he wanted her. Desperately.

He kissed a path down her neck, over one plump breast, to her hard nipple. He took it into his mouth, sucked hard, then
licked the tip with his tongue. Her sweet honey taste quickly became his addiction. She arched her back and moaned for more. Her fingers dug through his hair and pulled him back down. He took her other nipple into his mouth, circling his tongue. He took her other breast into his palm, squeezed, and brushed his thumb over the wet nipple.

“Oh, God, Ben.”

Yeah, he thanked God for bringing
her to him.

Her arched back fell to the table and she sighed out her pleasure. God, how he loved those sweet sounds she made.

He kissed his way down her belly. She tensed and giggled when he licked her skin from her belly button down to the waistband of her black leggings.

“Ticklish?”

“Only when you do that.”