Everything to Lose (6 page)

“What’s it gonna be?” She jangled them in front of his face, pulling his gaze back to her.

His eyes narrowed and without a word, he removed his hand from behind his head and placed his hands around the headboard. He gripped the metal so tightly she could see the whites of his knuckles.

Inwardly she smiled. He’d always called the shots. This would be good for him.

Leaning forward, she let her breasts rub against his face as she snapped the cuffs in place. He raked his teeth over one of her nipples as she pulled away. “I like this, having you at my mercy.” She straddled him and watched his expression darken.

More than anything, she wanted to know what was going on in his head. This had to be killing him. The loss of control.

Kissing his chest and stomach, she savored his taste. His hips bucked when she gripped his shaft and kissed the tip of his penis. She licked and sucked the head, teasing him.

He tried to push his hips up but she placed a firm hand on his lower abdomen, pushing him back down and moving her mouth away.

“Are you trying to kill me?” he growled.

“Maybe,” she murmured before sitting up and straddling him again.

Every sexy muscle in his body was corded tightly. Oh yeah, this was killing him. Slowly and torturously, she moved the folds of her pussy over him but didn’t let him penetrate her. She just moved up and down, enjoying the way he rubbed against her lips.

“Lean down farther,” he managed to strangle out.

Giving in to his demand, she leaned down, letting him capture one of her breasts. Without warning, he tugged hard, earning a sharp gasp from her. She pulled back in shock and he grinned.

“That’s for torturing me.” His deep voice sent shivers straight to her pussy. How was it possible that he was incapacitated and she still felt at his mercy?

Part of her wanted to extend the teasing but the dark, lustful look in his eyes was too much. Holding onto the bed frame, she pressed down on him, taking him completely and giving him better access to her breasts as she moved. Her hair cascaded around them as they found a rhythm.

The faster she rode him, the louder his groans got. She moved her grip to his chest and shoulders, digging into him. On the brink of climaxing, she made herself wait, wanting him to go first. Finally, he let go of that strict control. She could see it in his dark eyes the second before he came.

As he started to climax, she let herself go too until she collapsed on his chest in a sweaty heap. The smell of sex hung heavily in the air, wrapping around them. She wanted to move but until he made her, she lay still, trying to catch her breath.

Finally, he grunted, “Get these stupid cuffs off.”

Laughing quietly, she pushed up and unlocked him.

She rolled to the side, mainly to give him room to breathe, even though every fiber in her body fought pulling away from him. She figured he’d need a second.

“Caitlyn?”

“Don’t tell me you want to talk,” she grumbled.

He chuckled under his breath. She read him like a book. “There’s something I need to say. I wanted to say it last night but the timing wasn’t right.”

She still lay flat on her back but he didn’t miss the cautionary note in her voice. “Okay.”

“I don’t want you to interrupt me until I’m done.” If he was ever going to get the words out, it would have to be all at once.

She nodded in response.

“Last year, after…after your miscarriage, I said some things. Some fucked up things. I have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror when I think about it.” His throat clenched but he forced himself to continue. She deserved it. “It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t my fault, hell, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Life just happened and…”

She pushed up on one elbow and traced small circles on his chest. “We both made mistakes Sean. I won’t lie. Your words hurt but I knew you were just trying to cover up your own pain. I’m not so dense that I don’t get that.”

“It still doesn’t make what I said any better. I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you.” He rubbed a hand over his face, hating himself in that moment.

“There’s nothing to make up. All I ever wanted was an apology.”

“What?” Had he heard right?

“You never said you were sorry and that’s what hurt more than anything. That you actually believed it was my fault.”

He pulled her closer so that she lay directly on his chest. “I never believed that. Not for a second.”

Sean rolled over and grabbed his ringing cell phone from the nightstand. He and Caitlyn were still in bed and hadn’t moved for the past hour. He’d just held her, like he knew she needed. When he shifted, she protested very audibly. She reached out and stroked his chest as he answered the phone.

He chuckled under his breath and picked up on the second ring. He didn’t recognize the number. “Sullivan here.”

“Sean, it’s Marcus,” Captain Jones’ normally loud voice was unusually low. And he was using his first name, which was odd too.

When he sat up in bed, her hand fell. He grabbed his boxers from the floor and put them on. It sounded as if they might need to leave. “What’s up?”

“First, I’m on a secure line. Second, Antonio Lewis has gone missing.”

Sean’s heart stuttered. Antonio Lewis was a low level thug who worked for none other than Richard Coleman. And he was probably the same man who’d been sent after Caitlyn. “What exactly do you mean by missing?”

“Word on the street is he’s after someone. A cop. He managed to evade our surveillance team.”

“Where’d you get this information?”

“A very reliable source.”

“Did this source give you the names of who he’s after?”

“No, but I can make a wild guess it’s you. Coleman probably wants to make an example out of you and he’s using Lewis as the messenger.”

“That and he’s scared shitless about his position in the pecking order.” Coleman was a rising “star” in his profession but compared to the bigger fish, he certainly wasn’t untouchable. If anything, he was currently fighting to keep his turf and Sean was making it very difficult.

“Yeah, I thought of that. If we can bring Coleman or Lewis in and get them to turn on their contacts, we’ll have the biggest bust this city has ever seen.”

“Keep me updated if you hear anything else.” When they disconnected, he laid back down next to Caitlyn.

“What was that about?” she murmured as she curled up and threw a silky leg over him. He should be sated but his cock lengthened again.

“Don’t worry about it,” he murmured into her hair. Immediately she stiffened and he knew he’d made a mistake. With one finger, he lifted her chin so she had to face him. Then he did something completely foreign to his nature. He shared information. “That was Captain Jones. He wanted to let me know that one of Coleman’s thugs has gone missing and that he’s after a cop, probably me.”

Her eyes widened but strangely enough, she relaxed and laid her head back down on his bare chest. Then she did something he didn’t expect. She started trailing kisses across his chest, then down his stomach. Her tongue traced erotic little circles, causing his stomach muscles to clench uncontrollably.

Not that he wasn’t enjoying her kisses but he had to ask. “Are you okay?” He couldn’t understand why she wasn’t more upset.

She glanced up at him and shrugged. “Yeah. I mean it sucks but I’m with you so I’m not too worried. I just don’t like being kept in the dark.”

“You never cease to amaze me.” He quietly shook his head.

She moved to a half sitting position and propped herself up on one elbow to face him. “I’ve lived in a war zone on and off for the past couple of years. Did you really expect me to freak out?”

He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “That’s not what I meant. A year ago, this would have erupted into a fight.”

“Yeah, well a year ago, you wouldn’t have told me who called or what was going on.”

Instinctively, he opened his mouth to deny it but stopped.

She lifted an eyebrow and smirked. Something she did when she knew she was right.

He rolled his eyes and pulled her back on top of him so that their bodies meshed together. “Fine, I admit it. You’re right.”

“Ooh, talk dirty to me.” She laughed and planted a chaste kiss on his lips.

With her whole body plastered down the length of his, it wasn’t such a bad idea but he knew that wasn’t what she meant.

“So, are we really twenty miles from anything resembling civilization?”

Her question caught him off guard. “Yes, why? Still planning on trying to leave?”

“I could have left when I had you at my mercy.” She paused for a moment when he didn’t respond. “It’s only fair I know where we are.”

Her query was only fair and in reality if she wanted to leave, he couldn’t stop her. Part of him still wondered if the reason she hadn’t left when she’d had the chance was because she hadn’t known where she was. Maybe she’d just been afraid to get lost. What if he told her and—

“Hello, earth to Sean!” Caitlyn waved her hand in front of his face and in doing so, moved her hips, torturing his already full erection. The mischievous glint in her eyes told him that she knew exactly what she was doing.

“Sorry, we’re in southern Georgia and we really are miles from anywhere. Any more questions or can we get down to more important things?” His hips surged upward.

“I have one question.” She swallowed and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a very bad thing. She spoke again before he could contemplate it. “Things feel different now, you’re actually communicating with me and…” Her eyebrows snapped down and she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth as if she was afraid to go on. Which she probably was considering their history.

He knew exactly what she was trying to say. A year gave a man a long time to think. The important things, he could compromise on. Or at least he could try. “When I said I wanted to show you that things would be different, I meant it. We both screwed up but I’ll take a bigger chunk of the blame.”

“Don’t do that,” she whispered. “I didn’t have to take such long assignments. It just seemed like the more you berated me about my job, the more not being around looked better and better.”

He was silent for a long moment. “Why didn’t we do this before?”

“Talk?” she asked quietly.

He nodded.

“I don’t know. Stubbornness probably. Maybe it’s not too late.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” His breath hitched.

“Maybe… Yes.”

That was all he needed to hear. In a few swift movements, he managed to shuck his boxers with her still on top of him. He’d had an hour to recover and after a year of celibacy, she’d better believe he was ready to go again.

He loved it when she rode him but now wasn’t going to be one of those times. He didn’t know what the future held but to hear her say it wasn’t too late for them was good enough for him.

She gasped when, without any warning, he flipped her on her back and locked her down on the bed with his knees, caging her in. Somehow he managed to stop himself before he started fucking her senseless.

He reined in what little self-control he had when it came to her. First he wanted to taste her. All of her. He tested her slickness with one of his fingers and wasn’t surprised by her wetness. Her normally dusky colored nipples had turned a darker shade of pink and were just begging to be kissed. He clamped down on one of her breasts with his mouth as he pushed another finger inside her pussy. She let out a sharp cry but arched her back to give him better access.

He had to focus on foreplay because once he was inside her and she was milking his cock, he would be done. As he trailed kisses down her stomach, he savored the feel and taste of her smooth skin. When he reached the juncture between her thighs, he took his time. Her hair down there was a lighter shade of red than that on her head. Just the sight of her and his breath caught in his throat. Though he had every part of her body memorized, it was almost as if he was seeing her for the first time.

Her hips rose up to meet his mouth in a feverish need. He circled her clit with his tongue and pure, male satisfaction raced through his body at her muted cries of ecstasy. Her hands clutched the sheets, clawing and pulling as she tried to ground herself. With both hands, he pushed her thighs apart even wider, teasing her mercilessly until he doubted she could take any more. Without warning, he stopped his soft strokes and sucked hard on her nub, extricating a sharp cry of pleasure from her.

She was close. Every inch of her body was telling him that and he wanted to be in her when she came. When he pulled his head back, he wrapped his hands around her hips and she didn’t question as he guided her onto her stomach.

She immediately moved up onto her knees, wanting to take all of him. He pushed deep into her, touching her core. For the most part, she enjoyed when he was tender with her but she loved Sean’s animalistic side too. With rough hands, he gripped her hips for support as he moved in and out of her. The smell of sex hung heavily in the air, surrounding them.

Her hands gripped the mattress and behind her, low moans tore from somewhere deep inside him. On some level she knew it had nothing at all to do with sex. No matter how demanding and archaic he was, she knew how much he loved her. How much their being apart must have hurt him.

He pulled her hips even higher, hitting a new angle and sending a jolt of pleasure straight to her toes. Then he slid one of his hands around her body, over her mound and began massaging her already sensitive clit. With his other calloused palm, he rubbed one of her breasts. Every fiber of her body was so sensitive, his caresses were almost painful. Almost.

Her body felt as if it was on fire. He began thrusting long and hard, giving her no chance to catch her breath or what was left of her sanity. Keeping in tune with his thrusts, the pressure from his fingers increased on her clit.

Oh God!
It was too much.

He pushed her over the edge and she let out a loud cry, mindless of anything but her own pleasure. Her vagina contracted around him, milking him and almost at the same time, she felt him find his release. His warmth expanded and filled her, until finally, they collapsed onto the bed.

Her muscles were like Jell-O and she guessed he felt the same. Moving took too much energy so she mumbled something incoherent but he apparently understood because he rolled to the side.

She rolled onto her side so she could face him. She grinned at the satisfied expression on his handsome face.

“I’m starving,” he announced after his breathing subsided.

How could he even think about food? All she wanted to do was take a shower and curl up under the covers until their next round. “You’re crazy,” she mumbled and fell back onto the fluffy pillow. She closed her eyes and tried to block his voice out.

“Come on, take a shower and meet me downstairs.”

“Sure you don’t want to join me?” She tossed the sheet away and grinned.

“And you say I’m a menace?” he growled.