Everything to Nothing (23 page)

‘I’m fine
darling. Bit short of money this week.’

Sarah rolled
her eyes as her mum repeated the same words without realizing and
her mum continued to soak up the alcohol and squirt it into her
mouth. ‘Mum! Stop that now! Help me pick up the glass.’ Then she
noticed her mother’s shaking hands and quickly changed her mind.
‘In fact, just get out of the kitchen for a few moments.’

‘Just a few
more moments darling. Bit short of money this week.’

‘NO! Get out
now before you cut yourself!’

Sarah managed
to grab the sponge and then took a step back in complete amazement
as her mum, her mother, the woman who had carried her in her womb,
lowered her head to the floor and started to lick and suck the
vodka straight from the floor showing no regard to the slivers of
glass that were near her tongue and lips.

‘Oh... my...
God! MUM! Stop now! You are going to cut yourself! STOP!’

Sarah had never
physically restrained her mum from potential harm but now she had
to as her mum showed disregard to Sarah’s pleas and carried on
licking. She grabbed a handful of her mum’s hair and pulled her
head away from the floor and then continued pulling her out of the
kitchen. Her mum struggled a little but quickly gave up as her
daughter was too strong for her and she was dumped onto a sofa in
the living room.

‘For fuck’s
sake mum! What were you thinking?!’

‘I need a drink
honey. Ever since your dad left. Blame him not me.’

‘Right, okay
mum, I will. For now stay out of the kitchen.’

‘I need a drink
though honey. Ever since your…’

‘You just said
that mum! Be quiet now. Watch the television while I tidy up.’

‘Right, okay.
Could you get me some wine please?’

‘Where from
mum? There is no wine.’

‘You’ll have to
go out darling.’

‘No mum. I
don’t think so. I’ve told you before I am not buying you anymore
drink. Get it yourself.’

‘No money
darling. Please. For your mum.’

‘And where do I
get the money from mum? I’m at college remember? I don’t work.’

‘Get me some
wine. Please. Ever since your dad…’

‘Oh shut up
mum, please shut up! Wait here. I’ll tidy up and then see how you
feel. Okay?’

‘Okay darling.
Turn on the television please.’

‘Right I will.
Don’t come into the kitchen though, okay?’

‘Okay. Need a
drink though. Hurry to shop and get me one.’

Sarah did not
bother replying this time. Instead she ignored her, turned on the
television and returned to the kitchen closing the door behind her.
First of all she got a broom from a cupboard and swept up the glass
then got some kitchen roll and wiped up the mess the vodka had
made. Sarah then stood in the kitchen for a few moments and
contemplated what she was going to do.

She knew that
she should not give her mum alcohol yet she also knew that to not
to may push her mum over the edge and she would start getting
withdrawal symptoms which would lead eventually to violence. She
contemplated phoning her friend back up and hiding away from the
problem by having herself a very good time. But in this instance
she knew that she could not go out and leave her mum in this
condition after what she had just witnessed. ‘The only thing for it
then,’ she said out loud, ‘is to get her a drink so she isn’t
violent and eventually she will pass out.’ She thought about this
for a few moments and realized that if she did she would actually
be feeding her mother’s addiction which surely would not be a good
thing to do. ‘I don’t have a choice!’ was her final conclusion so
she reluctantly went back into the living room.

‘I’ve tidied
up. Don’t ever, ever, do that again mum! You could have done
yourself a serious injury!’

‘I know dear.
Need a drink though. Here. I found this in my purse.’ She handed
Sarah a five pound note. ‘See if you can get me a couple of bottles
of wine or a bottle of gin.’

‘With a fiver
mum?’

‘Tell Sid it is
for me. He’ll understand.’

‘Oh, right, so
now we’re a charity case?! Tell you what mum, why don’t you go out
and get it?’

‘There’s a
programme on I want to watch. You go, for your mum. I really need a
drink.’

‘Right. No
problem mum. I’ll make your alcoholism worse. Not a problem. And
when are you going to ask me how seeing you like this makes me
feel?!’

‘I know
darling. I’m not an alcoholic though. It is just a phase I’m going
through. Ever since your dad ran off with that bitch…’

‘Stop mum. Just
please be quiet. Wait here. Do not move from the sofa. I’ll be five
minutes.’

‘Awww, you’re a
good girl looking after me like this. Hurry up though.’

‘I will.’

Sarah quickly
made her way back to her bedroom and retrieved her purse. She
opened it and cursed out loud as she saw how little money she had.
Her next payment from college to help fund her studies was not due
for a few days. All she could do though was shrug her shoulders and
walk out of the house towards the shop.

A few
neighbours greeted her and she could not help notice the sympathy
in their eyes and faces. They were all aware the condition that her
mum would be in right now and they all probably knew where Sarah
was going. She reached the shop and used her mother’s five pounds
and her own few pounds to purchase a bottle of gin that would
hopefully quench her mum’s needs and eventually knock her out. Sid
at the shop did not say anything to her beyond the needs of
courtesy but again Sarah saw that look in his eyes. She could not
cope with the prying eyes on the way back home so she took an
indirect route which meant her walking down the alleyways. She
twisted and turned along them avoiding the rubbish, dumped junk and
dog dirt until she reached her back gate. Reaching over the top of
it she unbolted it and flung it open closing it behind her. Sarah
walked across the back yard, which was full of weeds, then opened
the unlocked back door.

She thought at
first as the door opened that her mum was with somebody then as she
made her way into the living room it turned out that she was having
a nice chat to herself. What was even more worrying, no horrifying,
for Sarah was that she was asking questions then answering the
questions herself and even nodding as she listened to the reply
that she must have believed was coming from another person.

This image
brought a tear to Sarah’s eye and she interrupted her mum’s
conversation and gave her the bottle of gin. She did not bother
with a glass. She simply unscrewed the cap and took a big swig from
the bottle. She did not even acknowledge her daughter’s presence
let alone say thank you. The tears were rolling freely down Sarah’s
face but these went unnoticed. Instead all that Sarah could do was
leave her and go back upstairs away from the horrible sight of her
mum drinking herself to death.

Lying on her
bed Sarah cried for some time until she got her emotions back under
control. She could not avoid the fact of how much her mother had
deteriorated over the last couple of months. Sarah, with her wild
lifestyle, hardly saw her mum but made a point of at least checking
she was alive every day. Sometimes she would go days without
returning home and not seeing her but she always phoned to make
sure she was okay.

Now, obviously,
she has not been okay and as Sarah thought about it even more she
realized she could be doing more to help her. These thoughts though
started to make Sarah depressed and anxious and worried, but
instead of facing up to them she ran away from them again like
usual.

She stated out
loud that life was too short for feeling miserable and worrying
about things that she could not do anything about. So instead of
thinking about how she could possibly help her mother, she instead
peeled off her tight jeans and mentally and physically hid away
from the problems in her life. She turned on her television and
pressed play on the D.V.D. player. On the screen the image of a man
having sex with a woman appeared and Sarah stood in front of the
television soaking up the image for a few moments. ‘I wish I was
doing that right now,’ she said out loud, ‘but I’ve got the next
best thing!’

Turning away
from the television she pulled a suitcase out from underneath her
bed and flipped it open. Inside this case were a lot of sex toys
ranging from huge dildos to the famous Rabbit Vibrators, to
Pleasure Pearls and even a couple of strap on vibrators for when
she was with one of her female friends.

For a young
woman who wanted to escape from the many problems in her life the
case contained many perfect solutions to the most pressing of
problems such as an alcoholic mum. She moved the toys around until
she found the two that she wanted to use. The first was a clitoris
stimulator that she would use to get her going and the second was a
large Rabbit Vibrator that she would use to finish herself off.

For about an
hour and a half she watched porn, occasionally changing the disc,
and in that time using a wider variety of toys she had five orgasms
and successfully managed to forget about every problem and issue in
her life. It was only when she was just about satiated and placing
the case back under her bed did she remember about her mum. She was
tempted to just totally ignore and go straight to bed and
concentrate instead on the feelings of pleasure that were still
coursing through her body, but instead of the tip of a large
vibrator landing at the pit of her stomach, this time a feeling of
guilt landed there so she quietly made her way downstairs.

Her mother was
now firmly passed out in the chair that Sarah had left her sitting
in. She knew that she should at least try to get her to bed but
that would mean waking her up and Sarah quickly thought that she
would rather not wake her knowing that there would be strong
possibility of being sent out for more drink as she spotted the
empty gin bottle where it had been flung onto the floor. Instead,
she returned back upstairs and took a blanket off her mother’s bed
and placed it over her sleeping body.

Still naked,
she turned off the television and threw the gin bottle into a bin
in the kitchen. For a moment or two on her way back to the stairs
she studied her mother’s sleeping body. She thought that it was
hard to believe that by eight o’clock the next morning her mother
would be drinking again. All Sarah could do was shake her head and
ignore the plight she and her mother faced. She focused instead on
the feelings of pleasure still flowing through her body and
returned to her bed where she masturbated and then feel into a deep
sleep.

When she woke
at nine o’clock the next morning she went downstairs for a drink of
water. Her mother was awake and watching television. From somewhere
she had found a bottle of red wine. It was three quarters
empty.

Chapter 20

Sally met David
at his garage Sunday morning as planned. The awkwardness was
clearly present as David tried cracking small jokes and making
small talk, while Sally blushed and laughed at his small jokes.
They stood looking at the car, while David pointed out the work he
had done.

‘Sorry, tell me
if you don’t want me to know, but I can’t work out who the guy was
who dropped you off? He looked too old to be your dad, but not old
enough to be your grandfather.’

‘Why wouldn’t I
want you to know? He’s my uncle. You’re right though, he’s quite a
bit older than my dad.’ Alfred was in no way related to Sally, but
she had already decided that to tell him that he was her butler
would be a bad idea at this time.

‘That explains
it then. Nice car, the new Mini. YoillwatgooutW’nesday?’ The
question had been gnawing at the back of David’s mind, and before
he knew what was going on, the words had tumbled out off his mouth
in one quick, incoherent sentence.

Sally had her
head in the car admiring David’s work so all that he could see were
a pair of round, incredibly firm pair of buttocks looking up at
him. ‘Pardon?’

He took a deep
breath and this time the question tumbled out a little better. ‘You
still wanna g’out Wednesday?’

‘Huh? Do I want
gout on Wednesday? Erm, no thanks David, I think I’ll pass!’ She
straightened up out of the car and looked at him. He blushed.

‘Oh behave! You
know what I mean!’

‘Well, I think
when you ask a lady that question it is better that you ask her and
not her buttocks!’ He blushed even deeper. ‘But in answer to your
question, I still stand by my answer I gave to you yesterday. I
stand by it even stronger now after I’ve seen how much work you
must have put in yesterday on my car. I feel bad that you won’t
take any money for it. At least let me pay something?’

‘No, we talked
about this yesterday and we made our arrangement.’

‘Okay, no
worries. In that case I’m still paying for everything on Wednesday,
and I do mean everything.’

‘That’s
fine.’

‘Good.’

There was a
moment of more awkwardness between them before David said, ‘Why
don’t you take her for a spin around the yard, make sure she is
okay?’

‘I’m sure she
will be if you’ve worked on her.’

‘I wish I had
your confidence. Go on, please.’

‘Okay.’

Sally hopped
into the seat and closed the door behind her. She started the car
first time and drove it sedately around the yard; however, she was
itching to start executing some hand-brake turns to see his face!
She pulled up alongside him and wound down the window. ‘She seems
fine. Thank you so much. Want to come for a quick spin?’ He blushed
again which surprised Sally. It was not like she was asking him to
give her a sensuous massage, just go out for a little drive.

‘Erm, well, no,
I can’t. I have to get home. My gran. She, erm, makes us, well, go
to church on a Sunday. I mean, I don’t want to go, I’m not
religious or anything, but I’ve got no choice. One Sunday I didn’t
go she, she’s got a key to our house, and I went home after work on
the Monday after the Sunday and all my clothes were out in the lawn
in bin-bags. She’d bolted all the doors so I couldn’t use my keys
and every time I tried to get in she called me a sinner and Satan’s
spawn!’ Sally laughed out loud. ‘My parents couldn’t let me in
because if they went anywhere near the doors or windows she
threatened them with either a knife or being removed from her will!
I had to sleep in my car.’ She laughed again. ‘The only concession
she would make was one glass of water. I drank it because I was
thirsty. She took great pleasure telling me the next morning that
she had got the water from the toilet!’