Authors: Sam Kadence
T
HE
ride home in the cab took forever because traffic was backed up. I kept thinking about the look in Joel’s eyes and how it felt to burn Hane when he threatened me. What was I becoming?
It was just after two in the afternoon when I arrived home. KC was curled up in bed, blankets wrapped around him. I slipped off my shoes and crawled in beside him. The room was dark as usual, the window covered, but I didn’t mind just seeing the outline of his face. His beauty couldn’t be masked by even the blackest of days. How had I been so lucky to deserve him?
“You’re thinking again,” Kerstrande grumbled into his pillow.
“It’s not hurting me. I’m thinking about you.”
“What a waste of time.”
I laughed at his tone.
“You dye your hair again?”
“No.”
KC rolled over and flicked the bedside lamp on. “It’s red. Like blood red.” He frowned at my hair.
I tugged my hair around so I could see it, and sure enough it was dark red with a tinge of orange. A color I’d never managed to get in many attempts at dyeing it. “Crap, and you like the blond.”
He shook his head. “I don’t care what the fuck color your hair is as long as it’s still attached to you.”
Had he really just said that? My heart skipped a beat, and I felt my smile get huge. I threw myself into his arms. “I fired Hane.”
“And you survived. I’m not surprised.”
I pouted. “Did you think he’d hurt me?”
“No. He saves the torture for me.” KC settled us back onto the bed and let his forehead rest against mine. “You would just be a way to hurt me.”
Because KC cared about me, even if he wasn’t ready to admit it. “I love you, KC.”
“So you keep telling me.” But he was smiling when he said it. He ran one hand through my hair while the other cupped my butt, keeping me comfortably within his grasp.
“I told Hane he can’t have you. You belong to me. And since I burned him by accident, he probably won’t be coming my way anymore.”
“Burned him?”
I sighed and tried to look anywhere but at his amber eyes. “I got really mad, and the fire just came out of me. He was demanding to feed on me ’cause he knew it would bug you. I said no. He wasn’t taking no for an answer.” Finally I met his gaze. He appeared amused, not angry or worried. “You really don’t like Hane, do you?”
“I used to. The last of that died in me when he killed Michael.” KC looked stricken for a second, then seemed to decide to let it pass. I hadn’t told him the part about when I died and had been reviewing memories that were both his and mine.
“I knew about that. Saw it when I died in the car and was reborn. The girl with your eyes showed me.”
KC tilted my face up to look at me again. “What girl? You didn’t say anything about a girl before.”
“She looks like you, only she’s a girl, and part of her face is dead. The other part’s normal.”
He just looked confused.
“I’m sorry,” I said automatically. Sometimes my oddities were just too much for people.
“She looks like me? Maybe that’s why you’re so obsessed, longing after this girl….”
“I think you have me confused with some other guy with red hair, ’cause I really like boys and all their wonderfulness.” I let my hand slide between us to cup his crotch. “Especially this grumpy guitar genius with a killer body and lots of money.” The girl and I never talked about her. She was just there sometimes and not the rest of the time. “When we talk, we talk about you. I’ve seen her since I was a kid. Most of the time we don’t talk at all.”
“That makes no sense.” He pulled away and perched on the edge of the bed. I wrapped my arms around him from behind, hugging him to let him know I was there. It was the least I could do. “Maybe she’s a ghost. What other ghosts are following me?”
“You believe me now?”
“I’ve always believed you. Why you stay with me when you see what I really am, I have no idea.”
“You’re beautiful.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Handsome?” I tried.
“Whatever.”
“We’re meant to be together.”
“Now I know you’re crazy.”
Sigh. His self-depreciation made me want to kick him. “You’re hot, and a rock-legend with buckets of money.”
“That I believe.”
I shook my head at him. “The rest will just have to come with time.”
He shrugged.
“I need to tell you something.”
“You already said you love me.”
“Yeah, and I do. But something happened at Hane’s.”
His mood turned black at the mention of his sire’s name. “What did that bastard do this time?”
“I saw Joel.” I needed to tell him, even if he was angry. “Hane has him locked up in a cell like some animal. I don’t want him to stay with Hane. And if you say Joel can’t stay here, I’ll bring him to Cris’s place and stay there with him until he’s better.”
“Better? He’s a vampire. He’s not going to get better. It doesn’t go away. It just slowly eats away at you until there’s nothing left that’s human.”
“He can at least be like you—able to live around other people, function as a person. He is still a person, even if he has a disease.”
KC sighed and pushed me away. “No matter what science and the media tell you, it’s not a disease any more than you being able to see the dead is a disease. You just are, or you aren’t. Vampirism is magic, pure and simple. You won’t catch it by having sex with me. You won’t even catch it if I bite you. I have to want it. You have to want it, and you have to die to get it.”
“So you’re telling me Joel wanted to be an animal? You wanted to be an animal? Hane had him sitting in a nasty blood-and-feces-filled room. I wouldn’t even treat a killer dog that way.” I loved that he was talking to me, actually revealing things, but also feared the breakdown he might bring upon himself. KC wasn’t really good at facing hard truths.
“I never wanted this.” He stared at his hands as though they were malicious appendages. “An animal is what we are. We try to fit in, but we are just animals in disguise.”
I pressed my cheek to his, ignoring the awkward angle, just needing to be close to him. “You’re not an animal or a monster. You are KC, my boyfriend.” I loved the word, though it sounded so high school and I was supposed to be past all that since dropping out. “I’ve seen some of the things you do. You don’t remember them.”
“Because I’m wrong. Something breaks in me when I don’t feed. The monster comes out.”
“So we just have to keep you fed, that’s all.” His face felt cool against mine. I was happy he didn’t push me away again. This time when I moved, I gave him some space, got off the bed, and decided since I was staying home, I’d go a little more casual. I stripped off my clothes, stole the button-up shirt he’d tossed off before bed from its place on the floor, and slung it over my shoulders. Yeah, it was a little big for me. But it smelled like KC.
He just stared. I smiled and strode from the room, intending to make some coffee. I couldn’t sleep all day, even if I wanted to.
In the kitchen, I made ramen, standing at the counter waiting for the noodles to soften in the steamy bowl while I wore nothing but KC’s shirt. I sort of hoped he’d come into the kitchen and attack me. He’d left the bedroom to perch on the couch, watching me. He glanced my way a half dozen times, nostrils flared, eyes heavy-lidded. But he hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch.
I flicked the radio on, pulled the plate off the bowl of steaming ramen, and stirred the noodles. The tune that played was something with a good beat I couldn’t help but dance to. The soup was good and filling. I finished it, put the dish away, and kept moving to whatever came next. KC’s eyes followed every move, bringing a smile to my lips. He could pretend I didn’t do anything for him, but that was a lie.
He moved so fast I didn’t hear him get up from the leather sofa. Suddenly he was there in front of me, backing me against the wall. His weight slid against me, hands pressing the shirt open so he could touch my bare body. He dropped his hands low, cupping my ass and grinding his hips against mine. I sighed just inches from his lips, wanting nothing more than for him to kiss me.
“You don’t know what you do to me,” he whispered.
I had a pretty good idea since he was hard against my hip. “I fired Hane,” I reminded him.
KC licked my collarbone, nipped it lightly, and then blew on it before repeating the cycle. “Oh God.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, moving my hips against him, not caring that he was fully dressed and I mostly naked. “Please, KC.”
“You have no idea what you’re asking for.”
Yeah, I did. “Just you, KC. All I need is you.”
He laughed, a deep rumble that pressed us so intimately together I nearly came. “I totally believe you’re some kind of incubus.”
“Nope, just some goofy fireproof bird who sees dead people.” Cris was the incubus. I’d looked it up online after he told me. “You, on the other hand, are some kind of legend, and I don’t just mean of the musical kind.”
His lips met mine. When he finally released the kiss, we were both breathing heavily. “God….”
“Hmm,” was all I could reply. Words had no place for moments like these.
Chapter 28
T
HE
next day, Mr. Tokie picked me up, and I happily handed him a stack of new music KC had approved. After several bouts of mind-blowing sex I found KC was pliable to just about anything I asked. But he’d stolen all my thunder when he’d dropped a stack of remixed songs in my lap. Apparently he’d been working on them since he’d found my orange notebook. A fresh book sat with my key on it beside the door, the inside cover filled with KC’s scrawl: “Genesis’s Songbook.”
I was thrilled to be back at the studio for the first time in ages. At least now I could be me, play the music that meant something to me, and not just popular crap some random person sent my way. My vocal coach helped with five out of the stack, spending most of the day mastering the melody with me and pushing me to add more passion to the songs. She had me singing with tears streaming down my face or struggling not to laugh. And I couldn’t have been flying higher until a familiar dark shadow stepped into the practice room.
It should have been Rob since I hadn’t seen him all day—and really didn’t want to—but it was Devon. He stood there staring at me, looking very much like he’d walked out of the pages of a pop magazine centerfold. He gave my voice coach a minor smile. “Can I talk to Gene for a few minutes, Lauren?”
She nodded and left us alone. When the door closed, it felt a lot like a prison cell door had slammed shut. The man before me didn’t much look like the man I’d first met a few years ago. That man had been smiling, filled with light, and ready to teach a newbie like me the ropes. This man was shrouded in shadows and pain.
“Hey, Devon.”
He moved toward me, hand outstretched as though to touch my face. I stepped away. He stopped and frowned. “I spoke to your manager, and the papers are signed. You and I are going to do a duet for my next album.”
I blinked at him, damning my contract again for getting no say.
“You used to love to sing with me.”
Did he see himself like I saw him? He was nothing but a marionette acting out a personality that used to be my friend. “Who are you?” I finally had to ask.
He threw me an unfriendly glare.
“I’m serious, Devon. I don’t know what’s happened to you. Maybe an exorcist can help or something. But whatever this thing is, it’s killing you—taking you over. What will be left of you if it takes over completely?”
“I’m in control!” He shouted at me so loudly the walls echoed.
I thought back to the first night we’d met. His music had been a sort of Euro-rock-pop I’d loved in my early teens. And he’d been beautiful, sophisticated, and powerful. I’d played groupie at one of his shows to meet him and sang him a song I’d written before he could throw me to the curb for the young stalker I was.
Had it been so long ago since he’d smiled? Since that brightness had filled his eyes? How had the darkness taken him? Then the realization hit me. That first day, he hadn’t been alone. In his dressing room had been a fiery redheaded woman who had been pawing through his clothes, telling him what to wear.
“It was Gina leaving you, wasn’t it?”
He stiffened, but the monster remained in control. If bringing up memories about his ex-wife would help bring him back, I’d do what I had to. He couldn’t keep clinging to a life he no longer had, maybe even wishing to die because he’d lost someone he’d loved.
“She still loves you, Devon. I know she does.” She still handled his wardrobe, and when we used to hang out, she always came by to be sure he’d eaten. “But maybe it’s time to find someone else to love.”
“You volunteering?” He shuffled forward, making me back against the wall.
“I’m in love with Kerstrande.”
“A vampire.” He spit the words out like they had a bad taste.
“Pot, kettle.” So maybe Devon didn’t drink blood, but he was just as dark as KC could be—darker in fact at times, like right now.
“You know nothing.”
“I know I want my friend back.” I put my hands on him, reversing our roles. “So give him back to me. I want the guy who laughs and whose pretty blue eyes twinkle at my silly jokes. I want the guy who sings with everything he’s ever experienced so I can compete with him. I want my mentor and friend back.”