Ex-mas (15 page)

"Better run," Lila said.

So they did.

Lila was out of breath, and even Beau was breathing hard by the time they reached the Amtrak station. Beau threw open the doors, and Lila col ided

with his back as he came to a halt. Beau muttered something and used his arm to usher Lila around the pile of suitcases he'd almost tripped over. It

seemed like the entire city of Seattle was mil ing around in the train station. It was almost Christmas Eve Day, after al . Lila skirted the edge of the porter's trol ey, nearly bruising her shins, only to narrowly avoid being knocked down by a couple who refused to separate their clasped hands. They wove their way through the crowd of people, fighting to get in front of the big arrivals board.

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Lila glimpsed the track number, next to the bright digital time: 9:37. "This way!" she shouted, taking off. There was no time to think about the fact that, according to the board, the train was
arriving.
Did that mean in a few minutes, or did that mean right now? Lila pumped her arms and legs and tried to make her tired body move faster than it ever had before. Beau sprinted ahead of her, vaulting over another pile of luggage.

Lila got her answer moments later as she fol owed Beau to the right track. They skidded to a stop at the end of the platform and saw that the train was stil moving, pul ing into the station at this very second. The moonlight gleamed on its shiny silver exterior.

"Thank God." Lila's whole body sighed with relief.

Beau yanked his hat down over his ears. "We don't have them yet."

The good news was that the train ended its run in Seattle, so everybody had to disembark. There would be no games this time, the way there had been

in San Jose. The boys would have to transfer trains in order to go north into Canada. Which, Lila knew, didn't mean there wouldn't be
other
games. She'd be an idiot to underestimate Cooper now.

Lila and Beau moved down the platform as the train's doors opened and the passengers began to pour out. They traveled in packs, lugging suitcases

behind them, bottlenecking at the train

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doors. There were so many people exiting from so many doors, it was hard to imagine being able to pick out just two. "Great," Beau muttered.

"Just look for the short people." Lila scanned the crowd for Cooper's brown cowlicked head.

Her heart sank. The platform was a zoo. There were so many people--the passengers from the train and the people meeting them. Whole families

arriving and searching for their loved ones--because, duh, it was Christmas.

Beau dove to the left and came within inches of attempting to kidnap a little kid who was definitely
not
his brother.

"Sorry," he murmured as the little boy's mother glared at him and hustled her child away.

"Oops," he whispered to Lila. She winced in sympathy but couldn't muster the energy to tease him.

"Did we miss them?" She scanned the now-thinning lines of passengers exiting the train doors. Were they hiding somewhere onboard? Could they have done something
really
crazy, like jump off the train before it hit the station? Lila's stomach twisted as she treated herself to an image of Cooper leaping from a moving train, hitting the frozen ground...

No,
she told herself.
We will find him. That's it. Nothing else is possible.

There were so many people, and way too many kids. No one seemed to notice that they were jostling and shoving Lila.

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She tried to ignore the screaming reunions, the impromptu Christmas carols, the noise, and the crush. Too many bulky coats and shopping bags. Too

much noise--louder than any footbal ral y Lila had ever attended. Someone rol ed a suitcase over her foot, and she barely spared a moment to see if it hurt.

Lila's panic spread through her stomach and took up residence as a lump in her throat. The boys could be right in front of her and she wouldn't necessarily see them.

Her eyes snagged, suddenly, on a patch of green in the crowd.

She grabbed Beau's arm. "Beau. Look. By the bench."

He looked. Lila couldn't move for a long moment, too busy taking in the sight of Cooper. His eyes were wide and worried, and he looked a little worse

for wear--though he'd probably gotten a much better night's sleep than Lila had. He and Tyler huddled together by the bench. Cooper was holding on to his backpack like it was a teddy bear, chewing on his lower lip nervously.

Good,
Lila thought, her eyes narrowing.
He
should
be nervous.

"Come on," Beau said, his voice gravel y and commanding. He sounded like a grown-up. A pissed-off grown-up, who had absolutely no doubts about the outcome of this scenario.

Lila wasn't so sure. What if Cooper bolted? What if he claimed Lila and Beau were abducting him? She wouldn't put anything past him at this point.

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Lila fol owed Beau as he cut through the crowd, looping around behind the bench where their brothers sat together, looking smal er and more pathetic

the more they stood there, almost swal owed up by the chaos of the holiday crowd. Obviously worried that the boys might run, Beau indicated with hand

gestures that Lila should go around one end of the bench while he took the other. Keeping their eyes on each other, they circled the boys, until they had them cornered.

"Oh," Cooper said when he saw them.

"Oh?" Lila echoed, al the tension and panic leaking out of her body. "That's al you have to say?"

But she wasn't as mad as she expected to be. In fact, looking at his freckles and his little face with a chocolate smudge on one cheek and his hair

standing on end, she had the completely unexpected urge to hug him. It was almost as strong as her urge to choke him with her bare hands. He was

maddening, but he was her brother, and she couldn't deny that she was glad to find him al in one piece.

Not that she planned to tel him that.

"I have to rescue Santa!" Cooper cried, his eyes wide and serious. "It's an emergency!"

"Santa can take care of himself," Beau interjected, flicking a look at Lila. He had one hand on Tyler's shoulder, and Lila couldn't tel if he was doing some kind of guy almost-hug thing, or if he was making sure his brother didn't take off. Again.

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"But--"

"He's been around how long now?" Lila asked, fol owing Beau's lead as he started to walk through the crowd, propel ing Tyler before him. Cooper let his sneakers scuff against the concrete floor a little more than was necessary, but he fol owed too. Lila stayed just slightly behind him--prepared to tackle him to the ground if he so much as
thought
about running for it.

"The ice caps!" Tyler cried. "What about the ice caps!"

Beau threw an exasperated look at Lila over his shoulder. His meaning was clear:
This is your mess. Clean it up.

She rol ed her eyes but nodded.

"Guys," she said, as they stepped out onto the street in front of the station. The cold Seattle twilight surrounded them. "Are we talking about Santa Claus here, or what?"

"So?" Cooper demanded.

"Does he or does he not possess
flying reindeer?"
Lila asked in her best
are you dumber than Paris Hilton?
voice. "And does he or does he not have an entire workshop of elves?"

Tyler looked hopeful behind his rapidly fogging Harry Potter glasses. But Cooper just scowled.

"So what?" Cooper asked. "What does that have to do with global warming?"

"I think Santa can handle himself," Lila said with a sniff. "He manages to make Christmas happen every year. He flies around the world and delivers presents to bil ions of houses. Plus he

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knows who's been naughty or nice. What's a little warm weather compared to that?"

They arrived at Erik's car. Cooper and Tyler stared at it in confusion.

"My sister's boyfriend's car," Cooper said after a moment, rol ing his eyes at Tyler, like that was a punch line. Tyler sighed in commiseration.

Lila wondered if Beau bristled at the word
boyfriend,
but she didn't dare look.

"Just get in," she ordered them.

Beau turned to look at her as they ushered the boys into the backseat, his mouth quirking up in the corner like he was fighting a smile.

"I love that snotty voice of yours," he told her. "Especial y when you use it for good instead of evil."

Lila wanted to climb into his arms again, but Cooper and Tyler were in the backseat. More importantly, they had entire states--and about eighteen

hours--to drive through if they wanted to beat her parents home by tomorrow night. So she only smiled and climbed into the passenger seat. Then, remembering Cooper's escapades, she clicked the child safety lock.

"You didn't have to do that," Cooper said sulkily.

"You're lucky you're not bound and gagged in the trunk," Lila told him without turning around. Beau started the car.

"Fine," Cooper said. "But I want McDonald's."

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"Wel , I want you in the trunk," Lila said, craning her head around to glare at him as Beau pul ed out into traffic and started the long drive toward home.

Cooper's mouth twitched, like he couldn't decide whether to laugh or pout.

"If you
don't
put me in the trunk," he said, "I'l give you your phone back."

Lila realized as soon as he said it that she'd completely forgotten about it. How weird was that? When her dad had so often threatened to surgical y

remove it from her ear?

Everything that she'd forgotten about while she'd been so caught up with Beau rushed back to her then: her party that had been hijacked and no doubt

thrown beautiful y--if traitorously--by Yoon. Erik's betrayal. Her entire life at North Val ey High, that she'd stopped thinking about somewhere around Oregon the night before. Even now, remembering everything that had seemed so critical to her, she felt an odd distance from it al .

She wasn't sure if she wanted the phone back. It was like she was afraid to reconnect with it, with who she was when she had it.

But that was crazy. She could handle a cel phone. She stared her brother down, extended her hand, and waited.

"Fine." Cooper sighed dramatical y and slapped the phone into her hand. "But if you put me in the trunk, I'm tel ing."

"Go ahead," Lila suggested. "Tel . Be sure to explain how you happened to be in Seattle in the first place."

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"You'l get in trouble!" Cooper warned her.

"Sure." Lila said. Her eyebrows rose. "But so wil you." When she faced forward again, Beau was grinning. "What?" she whispered.

"I told you," he said. He looked at her quickly, then back at the snow-covered road. "It's that voice."

Lila settled back in her seat and tried to get comfortable for the long drive ahead of them. She fiddled with her phone for a moment but waited until

Beau was pul ing onto the freeway to check her messages. She blinked as she stared at the screen. There had to be like a mil ion texts and who knew

how many voice mails. Al of them from Erik.

She opened the first text, after checking to make sure Beau was stil scowling at the road. It was dated the night before, right about the time Beau had picked her up in Erik's car.

I SUCK. SO SORRY. CAN'T APOLOGIZE ENOUGH. PLS CALL. I LOVE YOU.

Lila gulped in a quick breath. She looked at Beau again. Their song played in her head, and she felt that warmth inside, spreading out from within. She could stil feel his kisses on her mouth, his hands against her skin. She could stil see the way he looked at her, like he real y, truly saw her.

She scrol ed through the menu and with one last peek at Beau's bruised knuckles, selected DELETE ALL.

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Chapter 18

***

LOS ANGELES

DECEMBER 24

6:01 P.M.

***

and Christmas Eve, night had fal en again, and she thought her poor butt might never stop aching from al the sitting around. But she was nearly home.

She had somehow, some way, rescued this weekend from the jaws of total defeat. Her body thrummed along with the car. Anxiety and triumph mixed in

her bel y.

Or maybe that was the Chicken McNuggets.

It also didn't hurt that Beau was sprawled out in the seat next to her, his fine body so close to hers. He never real y touched her with their brothers so nearby, though every now and then their little fingers would brush against each other over the console. His arctic blue eyes warmed whenever they connected with hers.

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He was slouched down low at the moment, looking a little dazed as he stared out at the road in front of them. He rubbed at his face, where the beginnings of a five o'clock shadow had taken hold. Lila shivered. It was weird to think of Beau as a man in that way.

Down in the little bucket between the seats, Lila's phone began to rattle against the plastic sides and Erik's CDs, vibrating loudly. Ignoring the no-

handset law, she snatched it up.

"Lila?"

Of course, it was her mother.

"Hi, Mom!" Lila singsonged, widening her eyes at Beau to communicate the gravity of this cal . Her whole body tensed up.

"Merry Christmas Eve!" her mother cried. Lila laughed a little bit--her mom could be such a dork.

"Yeah, Mom," she said. "You too." It suddenly occurred to Lila that her mother's insistence on preserving Cooper's belief in Santa might be about more than keeping Cooper innocent. Her mom loved the holiday. Maybe she just wanted a fantasy to hold on to too.

"How's the weekend going?" her mother asked. "I seem to have missed you several times already. Cooper said you made delicious cookies."

Lila glanced at her crafty little brother in the rearview mirror.
Cookies?
He'd invented
cookies?