Ex-mas (20 page)

And now here she was. One hundred percent ready. Wel . Maybe more like 75 percent ready.

Lila decided there was no time like the present. It was only going to get colder, and then the sun would come up, and this definitely wasn't the kind of thing she wanted to do in daylight.

She started playing, making a mess of the chords. Her hands protested moves that had once been second nature to her. Her mind knew what to do,

but somehow she couldn't quite get her fingers to do it. It made her feel even more foolish than she already did. Like it wasn't bad enough that she was outside Beau's window in the middle of the night having a vintage
Say Anything
moment--did she also have to suck at playing the guitar while she did it?

But she had no time to think about that, because she'd played the opening chords twice, and now it was time to sing.

She had never truly forgotten the words of their little song, but she'd had no choice but to remember them this

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weekend. She'd already sung them once--so what was one more time?

Of course, Lila thought as she opened her mouth and began to sing, it was a lot easier to sing a song when you didn't have to sing it alone. When your soprano could be tangled up in and supported by Beau's scratchy, sexy tenor. Alone, her voice seemed to wobble in the night air. The guitar stil sounded off--but maybe that was just her playing. Or the fact that it was after 3 a.m. and normal people were al tucked up in bed, with visions of sugarplums and new holiday memories in their dreams.

Lila sang.

"Roses are red and violets are blue, daisies are yell--achoo! Achoo!"
she sang.
"Claritin helps me through the night--allergy meds make love all
right."

She kept singing even though she knew it sounded less than stel ar. She sang because for once, she didn't care what she looked like or what she

sounded like or whether it was cool. She sang because it was the only song she could sing. And because it was the only way she could think of to tel

Beau everything that she needed to tel him, in a way that only he would understand, and that he couldn't possibly misunderstand.

But when the song was finished, and the last note had faded away, Beau's window was stil dark. No light came on inside. The palm trees rustled in the breeze, and Lila was suddenly al

214

too aware that it was very late, and cold, and she was standing al alone in her ex-boyfriend's backyard. Some people might cal that kind of thing

stalking.

For a minute she thought that maybe she should play something else--but she almost immediately thought better of it. She didn't want to wake up the

neighbors. The very thought of having to explain her presence this late on Christmas, clutching a guitar and singing loudly in the wee hours of the morning...

She turned away and headed back for her car. Her beautiful, glorious new car, that she was happy to have, of course, but didn't seem to solve anything the way she'd expected it would. She hadn't considered the fact that having her own space just meant that she had more time to sit alone and reflect on al the things she should have done differently. Like, say, the last few years of her life.

Lila walked to her car and opened the back door, putting her guitar back in its dusty case. She felt worse than she had in a long time--much worse, in fact, than she had after she caught Erik cheating. Worse than when Carly had turned into a stranger in front of her.

She'd lost Beau. And she hadn't even been smart enough to hold on to him when she'd gotten him back so unexpectedly, so briefly. And with him, she

knew, she'd lost a part of herself.

Maybe forever.

215

Lila put her hand on the Beetle's door, ready to sink inside and give in to the feelings, give in to the sadness, give in to the tears.

And then she felt a hand on her arm.

Al of her breath left her in a rush, and something hopeful sparked inside of her. She slowly turned around.

Beau stood there, his blue and white striped pajama bottoms rumpled and his shaggy dark hair even more of a mess than usual. His blue eyes were

sleepy--but shining.

"Nice car," he said, sounding gruff. But there was a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth.

Lila blinked at him. He looked half-asleep and scruffy and more beautiful than she could real y take in.

"Want to take a ride?" she said, her voice sounding stronger than she felt. Her heart was knocking hard against her ribs. What did Beau coming out here mean? Had he heard her song? Had he forgiven her? Or had he just come out to tel her to quiet down?

Beau's hand felt warm on her skin. A corner of his lips twitched.

"Like maybe to San Jose?" He smiled wider. "I think I left my car there."

Lila smiled back, taking in his tousled hair, bare feet, another ancient concert T-shirt. She could have stared at him forever. "So..." Beau said after a moment. His other hand came up

216

to take Lila's free arm, pul ing her close. Tiny shivers rushed up and down her spine. "Did I hear somebody singing our song out here, or was I just tripping after too much Christmas ham?"

Lila shrugged, but she smiled. Being so close to him felt precarious and glorious, and she was afraid to breathe, afraid that anything she might do

might break the spel between them.

"I don't know," she said, tilting up her chin, marveling once again at how wel they fit together. How easy it was to stand like this, so close--matched. It felt like Lila was final y where she belonged.

"How about an encore?" Beau asked, his voice nearly a whisper.

And then he kissed her. And she kissed him back. Not for the first time.

And definitely not for the last.

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[Back cover]

TWO EXES, ONE HOLIDAY ADVENTURE. MERRY EX-MAS?

Seventeen-year-old Lila Beckwith's parents just left for vacation, and Lila's al set to throw the holiday party of the season. But when her Christmas-obsessed little brother, Cooper, discovers that global warming is melting the North Pole, he and his best friend, Tyler, take off on a runaway mission to save Santa.

Lila
has
to get Cooper safely home before her parents get back on Christmas Eve. But the only person who can help her is Tyler's older brother, Beau--

a.k.a. Lila's musician, anti-everything ex-boyfriend.

It'l take more than a Christmas miracle for Lila and Beau to overcome their differences and find their fugitive brothers. But could a journey destined for disaster help these polar opposites fal in love...al over again?

Kate Brian is the bestsel ing author of the Private and Privilege series. Her other novels include
The Princess and the Pauper, Fake Boyfriend,
and
Megan Meade's Guide to the McGowan Boys.

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