Excess All Areas (17 page)

‘
No.’

‘
Well the truth is it’s all a bit delicate really, for me
and
Mr Kaden. See, I don’t take photographs for a living any more, I’m actually an escort to the stars. Last week I accompanied Tom Selleck to a black tie charity dinner hosted by your friend Donald Trump,’ Freya spoke, flicking through her newspaper as she did so.

‘
I am trying to build bridges here,’ Barbara said.

‘
No you’re not Mother. You’ve just discovered my life is a little more interesting than it was the last time you spoke to me, which was about a year ago, and you just want to feed on the information to tell your pals at the golf club,’ Freya snapped.

‘
It hasn’t been a year,’ Barbara said quietly.

‘
I’ll give you a clue. The last time I spoke to you it was about six weeks after my twenty ninth birthday and hey Mum, guess what? I was thirty, four days ago. Thanks for the card and flowers,’ Freya said.

‘
You know I’ve never been one for birthdays,’ Barbara spoke.

‘
Except when it comes to your own.’

‘
So are you dating him or not?’ Barbara queried.

‘
Tell the Golf Club Gals I have Nicholas Kaden on week days and Clint Eastwood at weekends. That has to be worth a couple of gins,’ Freya replied.

‘
I don’t know how you ended up this way Jane,’ Barbara spoke.

‘
Yes you do. You know exactly how I ended up this way. Goodbye Mother,’ Freya said and she ended the call.

Every time they spoke it was harder and harder for Freya to believe that her mother was her mother. There was not a maternal bone in the woman’s body and she had absolutely no concern for anyone but herself. Freya felt nothing for her. Her mother was Mrs Superficial.

At 6.00pm Freya was at Petroholis Restaurant being given instructions by Mrs Petroholis. She was trying to listen to what she was being told but she was also pulling hard at the white shirt she was wearing. It was far too tight across the chest. The only godsend was that it was buttoned up at the back and not the front. The skirt was on the snug side too and Freya was glad she wouldn’t be sitting down in it at all.

‘
Now all you have to think about is taking the orders. Yiannis and Mr P will do the rest. Is OK?’ Mrs Petroholis asked Freya.

‘
Yes, that’s all fine. Table numbers are clearly marked, Melissa and Leandros know everything if I have any questions,’ Freya said, speaking of the other servers.

‘
Good, good. So, come, we have a drink before we open,’ Mrs Petroholis spoke and she led Freya over to the bar area.

She poured out two small glasses of retsina and gave one to Freya.

‘
Yammas
!’ she said knocking her glass with Freya’s.

‘
Yammas
!’ Freya repeated and downed the liquid.

‘
Drinking before you work huh?’ Yiannis spoke as he appeared from inside with a large metal container filled with condiments.

‘
It’s your mother, she made me,’ Freya answered.

‘
You should be quiet. I know exactly how much red wine goes into the cooking and how much does not,’ Mrs Petroholis told her son.

‘
Busted,’ Freya whispered to Yiannis.

‘
Oil and vinegar, all tables,’ Yiannis spoke and he passed the heavy tray to Freya.

By 8.00pm that evening Freya had served thirty tables of people. Waiting tables was coming back to her. She had quickly recalled that hot soup could scald, ice cream had to be put in a cold dish, not one straight from the dishwasher, and main courses were generally served after starters. However, despite the mild mishaps, she had collected forty Euros in tips.

It was an extremely warm evening and the nylon skirt was making her awfully itchy. She had been forced to tie her hair back with an elastic band and the tendrils that had escaped were now being held back by bulldog clips.

There had been two photographers outside the restaurant since opening. They had taken photos when Freya had spilt ice cream over a three year old boy and when she had broken off the cork in an expensive bottle of red wine. In the end Freya had taken them out some drinks, heavily infused with Yiannis’ prescription eye drops. They had left within the hour.

‘
One garlic bread, one
loukanika
, one
taramasalata
and one houmous. Is there anything else I can get you?’ Freya spoke as she put plates down in front of a table of customers.

Her attention was quickly drawn away from the table to the entrance of the restaurant where a group had gathered and cameras were beginning to flash. It was Nicholas, accompanied by Hilary, Martha, Gene and Bob. Freya’s lips tightened at the sight of the latter two as she had hoped to avoid them for as long as she was able.

‘
Excuse me, could we have another bottle of white wine please?’ the gentleman at Freya’s table asked her for the third time.

‘
I’m sorry, of course. I’ll just get that for you,’ Freya said and she left the table and headed for the kitchen.

‘
Oh Mrs P, do I look a fright?’ Freya questioned as she tried to see her reflection in the door of the stainless steel fridge.

‘
You look like you are working hard. That is how a waitress should look,’ Mrs Petroholis replied.

‘
I look terrible,’ Freya announced with a sigh.

‘
You look even more terrible if table sixteen no get their steaks,’ Mrs Petroholis spoke and she handed Freya two plates and two dishes of vegetables.

‘
Sorry, OK,’ Freya said and she headed out of the kitchen again.

Nicholas and his group were sat only a little way from the entrance to the kitchen, as the back of the restaurant was a lot more private than the front or sides. This was due to the fact that the front and sides all had open access to the harbour.

Freya delivered the food for table sixteen and passed Yiannis on the way.

‘
Your friends at table two have asked for you,’ Yiannis spoke with a wink.

‘
Something wrong with your eye Yiannis?’ Freya asked him.

‘
Yes, you took the last of my eye drops,’ he answered.

‘
Could you deal with table twenty five then? They want another bottle of medium white,’ Freya told him.

‘
No problem, I’ll do it, go on,’ he urged her.

Freya took a deep breath and headed towards the table where Nicholas was sat. As she approached, Nicholas stood up, left the table and went towards her. He was wearing a light blue cotton shirt and pale blue jeans with sandals.

‘
Hey,’ he greeted and he kissed her cheek.

‘
Hi,’ Freya replied, feeling herself blush.

‘
You look harassed,’ he remarked, holding her hands.

‘
I’m fine; we’re just really busy tonight, as you can see. I didn’t realise you were bringing Dumb and Dumber with you,’ Freya said, indicating Bob and Gene.

‘
No, well neither did I. It was supposed to be Martha and I talking through a couple of things and then Hilary invited herself and wherever she goes Gene and Bob aren’t far behind,’ Nicholas replied.

‘
Can I spit in their soup?’ Freya asked him.

‘
Of course. I would expect nothing less after what they said about you,’ Nicholas answered.

‘
No Roger? Who’s guarding your body?’ Freya wanted to know.

‘
I was rather hoping you might,’ Nicholas replied with a smile.

‘
Unfortunately I already have a job tonight and as that’s the case I’d better take your order,’ Freya said, getting out her notepad and pen.

They went back to the table and Nicholas retook his seat.

‘
Hello again everyone. Shall I get you some drinks while you look at the menu?’ Freya asked the group.

‘
What does everyone want?’ Nicholas asked them all.

‘
I’ll have a gin and tonic with no ice and a dash of lime - in a tall glass with a slice of lemon,’ Martha spoke as Freya jotted it down.

‘
I’ll have a beer. Make it a
large
one,’ Gene spoke.

His comment and emphasis on the word ‘large’ made Bob start laughing so much he had to cover his mouth with his napkin.

‘
Is something funny?’ Nicholas asked, fixing them both with a stare.

‘
No Nick, not at all, sorry. Gene was just referring to something we were discussing last night. I’ll have a
large
beer too,’ Bob answered hurriedly.

Freya looked up from her notepad and glared at Gene.

‘
Freya, I’ll have a mineral water,’ Nicholas told her.

‘
Still or sparkling Sir?’ Freya asked him, looking up from her pad again.

‘
Bubbly works best for me,’ Nicholas replied with a smile.

‘
I’ll have the same,’ Hilary answered, moving her chair closer to Nicholas.

‘
Fine, good. Well I’ll go and get your drinks and I’ll be back for your food order in a few minutes,’ Freya spoke politely and she left the table and headed for the bar.

If she managed to get through the evening without punching Gene or Bob it would be a miracle. She gave the drinks order to Leandros and ate an olive from the small pot on the bar. She had to maintain a calm exterior, particularly as she was working for Mr and Mrs P. She didn’t want to let them down.

Freya collected the drinks from Leandros but just as she was about to move away, she caught sight of a condiments tray at the corner of the bar. It was just too tempting. She took a container of pepper and shook a good portion of it into Gene and Bob’s beers. She stirred the drinks with a straw and then carried the tray over to the table.

‘
One gin and tonic with no ice, with lime and a slice of lemon in the tallest glass we have. Two
large
beers and two mineral sparkling waters,’ Freya said as she put the drinks down in front of everyone.

Gene took a swig of his drink and looked at the liquid with suspicion.

‘
It’s Amstel, is that OK for you? I could get you a Mythos, if you would prefer,’ Freya spoke with a smile of helpfulness.

‘
It’s fine,’ Gene answered.

‘
Right, is everyone ready to order or shall I give you a few more minutes?’ Freya offered.

‘
I think we’re good right?’ Nicholas asked everyone.

No one disagreed.

‘
OK I’ll have
tzatziki
to start with followed by the meatballs and for dessert - well I haven’t quite made my mind up about that yet,’ Nicholas spoke and he gave Freya a suggestive look which made her cheeks redden again.

‘
Just a small Greek salad for me,’ Hilary spoke.

‘
And for main course?’ Freya questioned, looking up at the actress.

‘
That
is
my main course,’ Hilary answered.

‘
Oh sorry, I do apologise, one Greek salad. And for you Martha?’ Freya asked.

‘
What would you recommend?’ Martha questioned, looking up at Freya with cold eyes.

‘
The meatballs for main and for starter the local sausage
loukanika
is very good or the pastry parcels filled with cheese. That’s called
tyropita,
’ Freya told her.

‘
And which items on the menu are low GI?’ Martha asked with a smile.

‘
I’m not sure on that but all of them are definitely one hundred percent BL,’ Freya told her.

‘
What is that?’ Hilary questioned.

‘
Bloody lovely,’ Freya answered, much to Nicholas’ amusement.

‘
I’ll have the pastry parcels and the meatballs,’ Martha told her and snapped her menu shut.

Freya turned to Gene next.

‘
And for you?’ she asked through gritted teeth.

‘
I’ll have the melon, followed by chicken
souvlaki
with vegetables and roast potatoes. Tell the chef not to overcook the meat - oh and I would like a
large
portion,’ Gene remarked with a straight face.

Bob coughed loudly into his napkin, hiding his face.

‘
What the Hell is wrong with you two?’ Nicholas asked, raising his voice.

‘
It’s a private joke, sorry. We shouldn’t be so rude,’ Gene responded.

‘
No you damn well shouldn’t,’ Nicholas agreed.

‘
It’s OK Nick, let them have their fun. What would you like a
large
portion of Bob? Hair perhaps? Shall I see if I can rustle up a toupee for you?’ Freya asked him.

‘
Now wait just a minute…’ Bob spoke, throwing his napkin on the table and starting to rise from his chair.

‘
No,
you
wait. I realise for whatever reason, probably something relating back to your childhood, that you have an issue with my size, but we all have to get through this evening without falling out. I’m sure you don’t want any negative publicity for the film, so let’s cut out the wisecracks and we’ll all get along fine. Any more use of words such as “big”, “gigantic”, “gross”, “enormous”, “large” or “prize pig” and I will knock you both into the middle of next week, publicity or no publicity. Do I make myself clear?’ Freya spoke calmly, smiling at them both as she finished the sentence.