My cheeks flushed at the memory of how he'd used his teeth on me. The first time, I'd been startled, but the zing of electricity racing through me had been something much different than pain, something more intense than any of Aaron's kisses or touches had been. All I'd known at the time was that I'd wanted more.
Now, I wondered how Reed had known something about me that I hadn't. How had this complete stranger been able to play my body with his fingers and mouth? How had he known that I would beg him to fuck me harder than I would've thought enjoyable? Reed had seemed like a man who had known many women, but Aaron had known both woman and men. Why had Reed been the one to truly show me what sex could be like?
I felt tears pricking at my eyelids and I rubbed my palms against my eyes. Now that I knew, could I be satisfied by anything else? What would I do if my future husband didn't understand me the way that Reed had? Would he allow me to teach him, show him what I liked? But would that reveal my secret? I could explain away certain biological things fairly easily. Saja wasn't so primitive that they would expect a woman's hymen to be intact, especially if that woman had spent a good part of her teenage years taking riding lessons. It would be the sworn statements of my bodyguards, my parents and myself that would be held as testimony to my virginity. But if I showed myself to be knowledgeable of what I liked, would my husband assume I had simply learned while pleasuring myself, or would he suspect the truth?
I couldn't be put in prison or executed for having lost my virginity before marriage. That wasn't how my country did things. Most Saja men and women engaged in premarital sex just as those in civilized places did. My virginity was only important because of what it meant to the man I was supposed to marry. If he – whoever he was – found out the truth, he could divorce me, and collect a hearty settlement for breach of contract, thanks to the papers we all had to sign. That was to say nothing of the scandal it would cause. Like the rest of the world, Saja citizens loved to gossip, especially about celebrities, and in my country, no one was a bigger celebrity than royalty.
I ran my hands through my short curls and nearly growled in frustration. Why couldn't I have been born somewhere else, to some other family? While I'd loved my time in America as well as what I'd seen of Europe, I'd never intended to stay away from Saja. I loved my home, my beautiful island. I loved my people. Unlike some royal families, we weren't kept quite so separate from everyone else, weren't taught that we were better than the common people. Sure, I'd had a bodyguard even there, but it hadn't been like college. They had been my people. No real danger there. But still, the line had been there, the separation of knowing who I was and who they were.
“Why couldn't I have been born to someone else? Some other family,” I spoke my thoughts out loud, needing to hear them. Needing to hear myself actually wish that I wasn't me. “I could be normal.”
I laughed softly. Normal. It sounded as funny out loud as it had in my head. Other girls dreamed about being princesses, but I dreamed about being other girls. But even as I said the words, I'd known I didn’t really wish them to be true. That's why I'd needed to hear it. To let myself know how ludicrous it sounded. Wanting to be something I wasn't, shirking my duty.
Sometimes though, I did wonder if things would've been different if any of the three children my parents had lost between my sister and I had lived. One would have been a son, the other two, we didn't know. If I'd had a brother who'd lived, I supposed things might have been different. I would have had a choice then. I could have given up my position as the eldest to him, let him be king and have lived my life as a princess like my sister. Still not quite a regular person, but with more freedom than I currently had.
I supposed, technically, I could have abdicated the throne in favor of my little sister. Halea was only sixteen. She'd have years before my parents would make her marry, and she was a much more compliant child than I'd ever been. She would do as she was told.
And that was why I never could've done it. No matter how much I longed to be free of the responsibilities that came with being the crown princess, I would never have put my sister in my place. Not because I wanted the power, but because I knew what it would do to her. She wouldn't just be bendable to our parents' wishes, but also to whomever she married. She would be queen in name only. It would be too easy for a man to take over, and I didn't know of any man on Saja who could be trusted with that responsibility and honor.
No, I would do my duty. Return home without complaint. I'd take over the responsibilities required of me. I'd marry the man they chose. I would be queen, the strong queen that Saja deserved.
With the choice made, all I had to do now was wait. The train would be in Italy soon and it wouldn't be long after that, I'd be on a plane home. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. Maybe I could get some sleep before it all happened.
I must have drifted at some point because I sat up with a start when the door to the car opened. I opened my mouth to ask my bodyguards what was wrong, but the words died before they came out. It wasn't Tomas or Kai who stood in the doorway.
It was Reed.
Chapter 9
Reed
It hadn't been easy, finding the right train. I'd ended up having to bribe someone to tell me what train Nami's tickets were for, and then I'd had to trade mine for Madrid for ones to Venice, all while watching the clock and hoping I'd be able to make it in time. I'd had to run, but I'd gotten there before the train had pulled out. Then it had just been a matter of finding the right car. I'd started at the far end of the train and worked my way up. I didn't think she'd be in any of the more public cars, but I wasn't about to miss her because I didn't search thoroughly enough.
At first, I'd told myself that I would just find her and give her the necklace. Then I’d apologize for freezing the other night and give her a proper good-bye. When I traded my ticket, I told myself that it was because I needed to get onto the train to find her. I didn't let myself think of anything beyond that.
When I saw the two big guys standing in front of the door to a private car, I knew I'd found her. There was no way either of those two would let me in, which meant I had to figure out a way to distract them. I wasn't sure what made me think to do it, but I stepped back into the dinner car and leaned over to speak to the man behind the bar. Two minutes later, a pair of men in suits hurried past me to investigate the possible terrorists I might have seen talking in the hallway.
I opened the door, and for a moment, thought I'd been wrong, that the car was empty. Then I saw her and my heart skipped a beat. She was sleeping for a split second before she sensed that someone was here and bolted upright. She opened her mouth and I thought she would say something or scream, but I watched the recognition dawn in her eyes a moment before they widened in surprise.
“Hi.” That came out a lot less impressive than I'd imagined it would be.
“Hello.” She recovered quickly. “I did not expect to ever see you again.”
I leaned against the doorframe and held up my hand, letting the necklace drop. The emerald bounced on the end. “You forgot something.”
Her cheeks flushed and my stomach tightened at the memory of that same flush covering her entire body. She started to stand and I held up a hand, walking towards her. When I was just a couple steps away, the car lurched and my confident swagger ended up with me tumbling onto the seat across from her.
I swore as I fell, face flaming. Could I look any more idiotic? I'd been prepared to give her the necklace and make a suave exit so that the last memory she had of me was a scorching kiss and not me kneeling on the bed, naked, and staring at the two massive, angry men who'd just burst in. Instead, she had her hands over her mouth, unsuccessfully attempting to stifle a laugh.
“Are you okay?” she managed to ask as I attempted to right myself.
I nodded. “Just embarrassed,” I muttered. I got to my feet and held out the necklace. “Here.”
She stood and smiled up at me, her eyes sparkling with humor. She took the necklace, her fingers brushing against mine. Electricity shot up my arm. Suddenly, the air felt thicker and I was aware of everything. The way her hair curled across her forehead. The curve of her breast and hip beneath her clothes. The clean, fresh scent of her.
“I–” The word stuck and I cleared my throat before trying again. “I'll be going.”
I was two steps from the door when she spoke.
“Wait.”
I stopped but didn't turn back to her.
“Do you have to go?” Her voice was soft.
“Well, um, it might be a good idea if I leave before your bodyguards come back.” I glanced over my shoulder.
“Where did they go?” She sounded more amused than scared which told me the bodyguards weren't there for protection from a specific threat, but rather a lifestyle thing.
“Someone may or may not have reported two suspicious looking people lingering in the hallway, and may or may not have said they overheard something that sounded like a conversation about a bomb.”
Her eyes widened and, for a moment, I thought she would go off on me. Instead, she laughed. “You really did that to them?”
I turned to face her, sticking my hands in my pockets in what I hoped was a nonchalant manner. “I may or may not have.”
She shook her head and gestured towards the seats. “Oh, they will be angry, but they won't come in here. Not when they know I'm pissed at them for...” She blushed, but kept her chin up, “what happened last night.”
“So, what you're saying is that I'm safer in here than I am out there?” I grinned. Whatever this spark was between us, I liked it.
“Most definitely.” Her tone was serious, but her eyes were twinkling. “So why don't you sit and keep me company.”
I took the seat across from her again, not wanting to presume what she meant by keeping her company. One part of my body was sure of what it wanted and I attempted to subtly adjust myself as I settled in the seat.
“We didn't really talk much yesterday,” she said with a smile.
I was pleased to see that she looked as nervous as I was. “Well, there were plenty of words and sounds, but I don't really think that constituted talking.”
Her blush darkened. “I didn't even get to ask where you were from.”
I smiled. “Philadelphia. And you?”
Her face stiffened, smile freezing.
“Never mind.” I quickly changed the subject. Since I was desperate for another subject, I said the first thing that popped into my head. “I have to ask, did you go with me last night because I was convenient?” I immediately regretted the question as soon as it was out of my mouth. “Sorry, didn't mean to put you on the spot. Again.”
“No,” she said. Her expression softened. “I went with you because I liked you.”
I was surprised at how relieved I felt at that simple statement, but I couldn't stop myself from asking a follow up question. “You didn't know me. How did you know you liked me?”
She frowned and my curiosity piqued. “It's hard to explain.”
“Try.” I gave her my best charming smile and tried not to sound eager.
“Well, I thought you were handsome, of course, and an excellent dancer.” She turned her head, like she couldn't continue when she was looking at me. “But it was the way I felt when you touched me.”
“Like little sparks of electricity dancing across your skin?” I asked softly.
She turned back towards me, her eyes meeting mine. “Exactly.”
We were both silent for a minute and I supposed she was thinking the same thing I was, how this had suddenly become something more than a random hook up. I didn't know what it was, but it was something.
She leaned back, breaking eye contact. “So, Mr. Philadelphia, what brought you to Paris?”
I sat back as well. I didn't mind that she was deliberately moving the subject away from our connection. Whatever it was, it was intense, and I didn't blame her for wanting to dial it back a bit.
“I'm taking a vacation,” I said. “A bit of a European tour.”
She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Really? You don't have a job to go home to? A...family?”
The way she said it made it pretty clear she wasn't asking about my parents and siblings. I smiled and mimicked her posture. “I worked for my family business since I got out of college and I recently realized that I didn't want to do it anymore. Decided to take a bit of a break.” I felt myself relaxing, enjoying the interaction. “As for my family, my parents aren't exactly pleased with me at the moment and my spoiled little sister is trying to prove that she has what it takes to fill my shoes.” I tried to keep my tone light, but a slight narrowing of Nami's eyes told me that I hadn't succeeded as well as I would've liked.
“Parents can be funny,” she said. The tone of her voice made me think that she wasn't talking about just mine. Her eyes flicked away and back again. “I have a younger sister too.” She smiled. “But she's not spoiled.”
I chuckled. “That's good. How old is she?” I was actually fishing for a hint about her own age, but didn't want to come out and ask it. Sometimes she looked like she was barely out of high school, other times she appeared years older.
“Sixteen.” Her lips twitched in humor. “Six years younger than me. That's what you wanted to know, isn't it?”