Exposed: Book One of The Love Seekers Series (6 page)

              My pooch wanted attention, which meant it was time to sit up and give it to him. Taking the toy he brought to me, I threw it so that he would fetch it. This was his favorite game. It always made me giggle when he would hightail it, and chased after the toy. There had been a time or two when he wiped out taking a corner too sharply, and this time, he slid across the hardwood floors in the hallway. I didn’t know who enjoyed fetch more, him because he got to play, or me because he looked like a clown chasing his toy.

              Briefly, my eyes flittered to my computer. While talking to Bryan earlier, I had turned the alerts on my phone back on, which was how I knew someone had messaged me. Did I dare look? Or did I keep whomever it was hanging on for a little longer?

              After throwing the toy again, I gave into the urge and unlocked my phone to see Bryan’s face appearing in a bubble circle. FS mobile messenger showed their profile picture and names whenever someone messaged, and there his mug smiled back at me. He was finally talking to me again. Now, I could have played hard to get and gone through all of those mind games guys and girls seemed to enjoy playing with each other, but I had already done that the night before and it had ended badly. Plus, my intent was not to attract this particular guy. He might have been a crush, but that is where I drew the line.

              Tapping on his circle, I read his message.

             
Bryan:
Sorry about that. We had an issue.

             
Issue? That sounded serious. My curiosity was piqued.

             
Me:
Everything okay?

             
Bryan:
Yeah, for now.

             
Me:
What happened?

             
My fingers sped over the keys as they typed out my inquiry when he didn’t disclose anything further. Inquiring minds wanted to know.

Me:
And what do you mean, ‘for now’?

Bryan:
Nothing. Really.

Me:
Tell me. You want me to spill all my deepest, darkest secrets, so spill some of your own.

             
There! If that didn’t hook him in, I would drop the subject, but it meant my curiosity wouldn’t be fed. Besides, quid pro quo.

             
Bryan:
Girl trouble. That’s all.

             
Me:
Girl trouble…that’s all? Seriously?

             
I laughed long and heartily, but I chose not to put the LOL in my response. I possessed manners after all, and chose not to be rude.

Bryan:
Do me a favor.

Me:
What?

Bryan:
Promise me something.

Me:
What?

Bryan:
Just promise me.

Me:
Not promising until I know what it is I’m promising.

Bryan:
Don’t become the crazy girl.

Me:
Bwahahahaha! The crazy girl. Umm. Okay. I think I can manage that.

Bryan:
I’m serious here.

Me:
I have to know, what the hell happened there? LOL!

And yes, I’m still laughing.

Bryan:
U R annoying.

Me:
You just told me not to become the crazy girl and I’m annoying?

Bryan:
Point taken.

             
That was all he said, and when he didn’t expand, I pestered him for more of an answer.

Me:
Well? What happened?

Bryan:
Sigh.

Me:
That isn’t an explanation.

Bryan:
My roommate brought his latest gf to the house because he forgot something here.

Me:
Okay. And…?

Bryan:
She and I hooked up in the past.

All of the sudden she started yelling and then hit me.

Fucking split personality women. She turned bat shit crazy.

Don’t be her. It took both of us to get her the fuck out of here.

Fuck, now I want a drink! Do. Not. Become. Her.

Me:
Haha. I promise not to be her. LOL. ;)

Too bad you aren’t here. I’d say let’s go down to the bar and grab a beer.

Bryan:
Good! And I wish I were there right now.

             
I cringed realizing what I had done.
I really was just one of the guys, wasn’t I?
No wonder my Prince Charming hadn’t showed up yet. Then again, with my disability, he would have to push me as I sat on my walker, instead of riding off on the white horse and all that shit from the fairy tales.

              While I contemplated the whole idea of how to get me on a large steed, my phone pinged again.

Bryan:
So are you going to tell me how many guys you’ve dated.

             
There it glared at me in black and white again. Sighing, I finally gave in and typed my response.

Me:
Including the guys after I got sick?

Bryan:
No, only b4.

Me:
6

Bryan:
Total?

Me:
Yes.

Bryan:
And you’re longest was a month?

Me:
Yes.

Bryan:
Are you sure your problem isn’t that you need to get laid?

Me:
I hate you!

             
Throwing down my phone in exasperation, I grabbed the toy my dog was licking and threw it across the room. It did nothing to relieve some of the tension and anger I felt, but Curley loved it because he chased it like a mad dog.

              Bryan seemed to possess the uncanny ability to say the wrong thing and piss me off. I wanted to slap him, however, since he lived across the country, slapping him was impossible. I pictured slapping him, scratching his face with my nails, and punching him in the stomach. I would probably never do any of that, but it made me feel better. I decided that Bryan was an utter asshole of the first degree.

Chapter 6

Emma

Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

             
I lost count of how many times my phone made that annoying sound. Granted some could have been my friends, the ones I actually called friends–I have a few–however, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, the majority were from Bryan. I had successfully ignored him for over an hour, but those dings started to grate on my last nerve thirty minutes ago. And I’m adult enough to admit that I acted more like a five–year–old child throwing a temper tantrum more than a woman of 29 when he teased me the way he did.

              I knew he jested because between meeting him once, my conversations with Mel, and my recent conversations with him, I got the impression that was who he was. A single sailor who hadn’t a care in the world. In the one night I had spent in his company nearly a year ago, I discovered he had a wicked sense of humor, could out cuss almost anyone I knew, and even when drunk, he won arm wrestling matches. I envisioned the muscles in his arms bulging, his veins throbbing…
And I’ve gone off track again.

             
Giving in like I knew I would, I pulled my computer onto my lap and logged on. Yep, I had been right. Two of my other friends were checking in, but the others appeared under Bryan’s name.

              I decided to ignore him for now, and instead clicked on Ali’s name first. Seeing her message made me smile. I missed all my friends in Texas, but she was special because she got sick about the time I did, except she had other issues.

Ali:
Hey. Checking in. My new treatment was approved and I start next week.

Me:
That’s awesome! Happy they finally approved you.

Ali:
How everything going?

Me:
Bleh. My love life sucks.

Ali:
LOL. Mine too.

              We continued to laugh and joke a little more, but all too soon she had to go. Moving onto Sammy, I still pretended as if Bryan did not exist temporarily. Too bad by the time I answered her, she had gotten offline. We had been friends since elementary school, and had gotten back in touch thanks to FaceSpace. Now we talked regularly, making sure we kept in touch.

              Bryan could not be ignored any longer. Clicking on his name, I read his messages and shook my head. The moment I opened his chat window, the corners of my mouth pulled up. Something so simple had such an impact on me. This was not good.

Bryan:
You know you don’t hate me. You love me. LOL.

Well, maybe you dislike me, but prob not. Ha!

Hello?

Where are you?

Come on. You can’t be mad at me.

Hey.

Don’t make me call Mel.

Okay. Maybe I crossed the line a little, but come on already.

Stop running from the truth.

I promise I can handle the truth.

I thought you wanted my help.

Don’t you want advice from the Love Doctor? ;) :P

              His messages cracked me up. Reading what he wrote had me snorting with laughing in a very unladylike way and not caring one iota. Who would have heard me anyway? My dog wouldn’t tell on me. He loved me.

              With a grin on my face, I continued to giggle as I attempted to respond to him.

Me:
Love Doctor? Since when did you earn that particular degree?

Bryan:
See, I knew you couldn’t stay away. LOL. As for my degree, I have millions of satisfied customers.

Me:
Millions? A little full of yourself, aren’t you?

Or are you counting each individual sperm? LMAO.

Bryan:
Oh you got jokes.

Me:
Sure do!

Bryan:
I haven’t heard any complaints from the couples I’ve helped in the past or from my little swimmers…or the girls I’ve more than pleasured.

Me:
Haha! Still full of yourself…or is that full of shit?

Bryan:
Maybe one day I’ll let you take stock for yourself. ROFL.

             
A simple joke, a mere jest between two people, and yet, my breath started coming in fast and shallow as my heart rate accelerated. Pressing my legs together, I tried to relieve some of the ache that appeared as I read his words.
Damn, this crush was going to be the death of me.
I needed to get over my feelings for him and find someone new, and as soon as I managed that, all would be right with the world again. And the best way for that to happen, would be to take him up on his previous offer. Allowing my “friends” to set me up hadn’t worked. Using an online dating service hadn’t worked. Maybe if his ideas worked, they could push me through my slump.

              Taking a deep breath, I released it slowly as I thought about what to type. And then it came to me.

Me:
You couldn’t handle all this. I’m just too good for you.

Bryan
:

Maybe you are.

              I couldn’t even begin to tell anyone what those three words did to me. I knew they did not carry the meaning I wished they did, but even so, they made me melt.

Me:
So what sage advice are you going to give me, oh wise one?

Bryan:
Still with the jokes. But I got you. Should I call you?

              What? No, he couldn’t call me. Calling destroyed one of my lines of defense, and if I was going to spill everything to him, I wanted everything to remain as anonymous as possible. A phone or video call became too personal for me.

Me:
No, this is fine. I’m slurring a lot today, so it is easier to type.

Bryan:
Got it. First things first, we need to work on your self-esteem. Who the fuck cares if you have to use a walker or a cane or that you’re sick.

Add slurring to the list. It doesn’t matter.

Me:
Plenty of people. You want a list?

Bryan:
They don’t matter anymore.

Me:
Easy for you to say.

Bryan:
Did you have this issue before you got sick?

Me:
Not especially.

Bryan:
Which is a big fat YES!

Me:
Ouch.

Bryan:
Truth hurts, don’t it.

Me:
Don’t be a dick.

Bryan:
I have a dick, but I don’t think I am one. No wants a dick that big. They couldn’t use it. Where would be the fun in a 6’1” dick? There isn’t…unless we find a giant. If you find a giant, let me know.

             
Again I laughed. He seemed to be learning when I needed a break and when he could push…maybe. It wouldn’t surprise me if he continued to piss me off time and time again in the near future, as well as the distant future. Thinking about it, about the arguments and disagreements we were bound to have, gave me a small thrill. I could not explain it, but it clung to me like a small child holding onto his mother’s shirt. Presently, however, it lingered somewhere in the background.

Me:
K. If I find a giant, you’ll be the first person I tell. If I do, does that mean you will admit you are a 6’+ dick? LOL.

             
I kept thinking about what it would be like to have this conversation with him in real life. Hearing his voice, seeing his facial expressions, and watching his reactions would have been priceless. Then again, it would wreak havoc on my crush and then my sister would find little bits of me everywhere because I exploded. I had this feeling he was going to become a great friend, which would have been fun if we were closer. On the other hand, I didn’t think I could open up in person.

Bryan:
If you manage to find a giant, then maybe. Have any beans lying around? A beanstalk may be the only way to find one. :P

Me:
Funny.

Bryan:
Always.

Me:
So back to our discussion earlier, what is this oh so sage wisdom you want to impart?

Bryan:
I already told you. You need to work on your self-esteem. The people who tore you down don’t matter any longer.

Me:
Got it. Anything else?

Bryan:
I know it isn’t that easy to accept or do, and I’m not expecting you to change overnight…

Me:
But?

Bryan:
But I know you can do it.

Bryan:
You deserve a good guy who will treat you well and will embrace everything you have to offer–including your illness, disease, handicap, disability, or whatever hell else you want to call it.

Me:
Thanks.

Bryan:
I’m not done.

Me:
Do go on.

             
Sarcastic? Yes. Interested to see what he would say next? Most definitely. My walls went up, and I peered through a small crack in the mortar.

Bryan:
You apparently had an issue with your self-esteem before you got sick, and after you got sick, it took a huge hit and suffered.

Me:
Maybe.

Bryan:
So, stop.

Me:
Stop?

Bryan:
Yes! You deserve to treat yourself better.

Until you make some strides in that department, you will not catch a guy, but sometimes catching someone’s eye will go a long way in building your confidence.

Me:
You sound like a shrink or Dr. Phil.

             
To myself, I mumbled, “Been watching some daytime drama and talk shows have we?

Bryan:
LOL. Maybe I am. Dr. Bryan, or Dr. Sampson, the Love Doctor at your service. Haha.

Me:
LMAO. So confident in your abilities. I bet if I went back in time, I could find a couple of unsatisfied customers. Women you might have left hanging because you completed your mission early. ;)

Bryan:
Ouch.

             
Me:
Truth hurts.

             
My words were meant to taunt him, turning his own phrase back on him.

Bryan:
You got me right in the heart.

Me:
Want me to quote Bon Jovi? ‘Shot through the heart and you’re to blame…’

Bryan:
‘You give love a bad name.’ Well, not you…maybe you do though. LOL. JK.

Good song though.

             
I chose to ignore his jibe and only respond to his last comment. If I focused on his other remark, I was liable to get upset all over again, and for the moment, we were having fun.

Me:
It is.

Bryan:
So I know you like Bon Jovi or I assume you at least like that song, what other music do you like?

Me:
I feel like I’m filling out a questionnaire for a dating game show or to set up an online profile.

Bryan:
A Love Doctor needs to comprehend his clients’ quirks and behaviors so that he may make the perfect love match.

Me:
LOL.

Bryan:
It’s true.

Me:
Save the BS for some other unsuspecting creature. Haha.

Bryan:
Okay. Okay.

But seriously, we need to get down to the nitty gritty and help you get past your insecurities.

So…what music do you like?

Me:
And this is going to get me over my issues?

I barked with laughter, and Curley peered at me as if I were crazy before he dropped his head back down on the bed, returning to his nap.

Bryan:
Couldn’t hurt to practice talking to a guy.

Me:
That’s not where I have an issue. Much anyway.

I have guy friends and I talk to them perfectly fine. I just group you in with them.

It’s guys I’m attracted to or the ones I think are cute or the ones that are here in person that I have an issue carrying on a conversation with.