Exposed (Tropical Nights) (17 page)

             
“You know, your Chief Production Officer.”

             
“I know who Mark is,” Leo said sharply, his already thin patience reaching the breaking point.

             
“Well, it’s hard to tell from your blank expression and lack of response. Anyway, he mentioned that you’ve seemed…stressed at work lately.”

             
Leo felt a flash of annoyance. “So you two are discussing me now? You need to lay off. I’m not stressed. I don’t
get
stressed. I’m fine.”

             
Rivers put his beer down on the counter and leveled his gaze at Leo, his expression suggesting he was done beating around the bush. He pushed the bottle out of his way and stood up, placing his hands firmly on the counter and leaning forward. Leo wasn’t used to seeing his friend look so serious or determined.

“You aren’t fine,” Rivers said forcefully. “You’ve been holed up in your penthouse for weeks. You haven’t talked to anyone, you won’t see anyone. The one conversation I had with you, you sounded like a bear being poked with a stick. And by the way, Mark said you are a lot worse than stressed. Apparently, you’ve been such an insufferable jerk around the office people can hardly stand to be in the same room with you. It’s completely unlike you and it’s freaking everyone out. Now tell me what’s going on before I beat it out of you.”

              Leo blinked at his friend in surprise. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh at Rivers’ ridiculous and wholly impossible threat, or to punch him in the face and throw him out of his penthouse for meddling in his business. He felt too miserable to laugh and he usually avoided punching people unless absolutely necessary, so he simply stared at Rivers in silence.

             
“Come on, man. Everything’s fine and then you go on your trip to Acarigua with that journalist, and now you’re like a different person. What happened?”

             
Leo’s jaw tightened and his hand clenched around his beer bottle. He looked down and took a drink, needing a moment to control himself. “She lied to me,” he said finally, feeling as surprised as Rivers looked that he had actually spoken.

             
“The journalist?”

             
Leo nodded. “I agreed to do the story because Rachel told me she worked for
Economy Today
and I figured it was a great opportunity to get some positive press. But I found out it was all for
New York Exposed
. It was all a lie to get me to let down my guard so she could do some tabloid expose or whatever.”

             
“Whoa.” Rivers blew out a shocked breath. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. In fact, you two seemed to hit it off so well, I thought for sure…” He shook his head like he was trying to take it all in. “I thought when you vetted her it all checked out.”

             
“It did. I verified her education and her employment at
Economy Today
before even letting her in the office.”

             
“So what’s going on? None of this makes sense. What did Rachel say when you confronted her?”

             
Leo shrugged and looked away.

             
“You didn’t ask her?”

             
“What’s there to say? She lied to me and now it’s over.”

             
“Except it’s clearly not.”

             
Leo felt a surge of anger flow through him at the reminder of Rachel and everything that had happened with her. He needed to end this conversation before it all flooded him again—every feeling he had for her, every thought of what they’d shared on the island, all the hurt and anguish and panic at her betrayal. He’d been working too hard to bury all of that to let it pour out of him now. He needed to shut it all down. “I’m just mad at being duped,” he said evenly. “I’ll get over it.”

             
Rivers studied him. “Don’t do this, Leo.”

             
Leo narrowed his eyes. “Do what?”

             
“Don’t keep shutting everyone out. Not me. And for the love of Kbach Kun Boran, not her.”

             
Leo’s anger flared again. “Have you even been listening to me? Do you understand what’s going on? You have no idea what she—”

             
“No,” Rivers interrupted. “I don’t know what happened or what she did. But neither do you, because you haven’t bothered to find out.”

             
“I don’t need to find—”

             
Rivers slammed his fist down on the counter, jarring Leo into silence. Rivers never showed a temper; Leo didn’t even realize he had one. “What you need,” Rivers said loudly, “is to stop seizing on every excuse to write someone off, to push everyone away from you.” He took a step back and threw up his hands, palms out. “Look, you’re right. I don’t know what happened. Maybe Rachel really is the devil come to write a tabloid story on you. Or maybe there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for what’s going on. The point is, we don’t know, because you never bothered to ask. You would rather jump to assumptions and throw up your defenses than do the hard work of admitting you’ve come to care for someone and she hurt you. Instead of taking the risk to confront her, you just let it eat at you until you dump your misery all over your friends and employees. But hey, that just gives you an excuse to push us away too, doesn’t it?”

             
Leo’s entire body tensed from the thoughts and feelings that simmered just beneath his skin. He was losing the battle to keep everything buried and it was all boiling to the surface. “We’re done here,” he said through gritted teeth. He needed Rivers to leave, not so much because he was angry with his friend, but because Leo was having increasing difficulty denying the truth of what he said and it was shaking loose a reaction Leo couldn’t control. He needed to be alone while he worked to rein it all in.

             
“Yeah, I can see you need a minute, so I’ll go.” Rivers pushed away from the kitchen island and headed toward the door. He stopped after a few steps and turned around. “Just know this isn’t over. I’m giving you some space here, but don’t think this means I’m letting you shut me out. I’ve seen the change in you, I know what Rachel means to you and I won’t let you give up on her without even trying to fight.”

             
Leo stared at the door long after Rivers had shut it behind him. In the weeks since coming back from Acarigua, he’d been struggling to maintain his fraying hold on his emotions. He’d been clinging hard to the last thread that kept him in check, and now even that was about to snap. He was used to being able to carefully control every aspect of his life, but ever since meeting Rachel he’d felt like he was on a roller coaster careering over the rails. Sometimes he hurtled through happiness and desire and joy, sometimes through pain and hurt and betrayal, but it was always as though he was about to topple over the edge. The lack of control terrified Leo. He had that sickening feeling that punches a person deep in the gut when he drops into free fall, when he’s unable to stop or turn or slow down and all he can do is hold on and hope the landing doesn’t kill him.

             
Rivers’ words echoed in Leo’s head. He knew his friend was right; he had to try to fight. He just had to decide whether it was
for
Rachel or
against
the turmoil she made him feel, and he needed to do it quick before everything roiling in his insides overtook him and he went down in flames.

Chapter Ten

              “Hello? Earth to Rachel.”

             
Rachel jerked her head up and looked at Allison, embarrassed that she had lost track of the conversation. Again. “What? Sorry, I guess my mind was wandering.”

             
“Yeah, it was. It’s okay. I know you have a lot on your mind. Maybe dragging you to this event wasn’t such a great idea.”

             
Rachel smiled weakly. “Oh, come on. There’s no place I’d rather be than the…what is this for again?”

             
“It’s the New York Society for the Preservation of Manhattan’s Historical Landmarks Ball to Benefit the Chadwick Museum and Gardens.”

             
“Right. All that.” Rachel looked around at the people milling around the fully decorated and candle-lit building. “The museum does look beautiful though.”

             
Allison nodded. “I know. It’s amazing how different it feels to be in here after hours with it all done up like this. I think I’ve taken so many pictures I’ve almost filled up my memory card.”

             
“Really? Did you bring an extra one?”

             
Allison laughed and shook her head. “I’m joking. The card can hold thousands of photos.” She snapped a few more as if to make her point.

             
Rachel made a half-hearted attempt at a laugh. “Obviously I don’t know anything about cameras. I’m just here to keep you company, remember?”

             
“I remember. Thanks for doing it, by the way. I hate working these things alone. I always feel so out of place trying to mix it up with New York’s most rich and famous.”

             
“No problem. I’m just surprised Karen wants such a detailed story on this. Upscale charity events don’t usually interest her so much.”

             
“I told you she’s had some sort of epiphany, thanks to you.”

             
Rachel felt the color drain from her face. “Yeah, your employee tanking the biggest story of the year is a sure path to enlightenment.” She cleared her throat and looked down at the glass of champagne she was holding. She could barely stand to think about the whole Leo situation, much less talk about it, however obliquely.

             
“It was, apparently. All she can talk about now is that she realizes how far she’s strayed from the original intent of her magazine, how caught up she’d become in the negativity and exploitive nature of the gossip game. Of course, she’s explaining all this in terms of the harm she’s perpetrating on the universe and how it’s damaging her own
wa
and whatnot. She keeps saying something about how she sensed her redemption in your chakras the first time she saw you.” Allison and Rachel both laughed at Karen’s familiar and endearing offbeat outlook. “Anyway, she wants to return the magazine to what it was in the beginning: in-depth profiles of well-known New Yorkers and thoughtful articles on worthwhile happenings. She says that was how it was before she let herself get dazzled with cheap gossip on flashy celebrities, and we have you to thank for returning her to her senses.”

             
“Right. I’m sure she’s thrilled with me.” Rachel couldn’t keep the note of sarcasm from creeping into her voice. She got twitchy whenever the conversation drifted too close to what had happened on the island.

             
“Hey, if she’d been angry with you, she would have just fired you instead of giving you six week’s leave.”

             
“True,” Rachel admitted. The conversation she’d had with her boss when she’d first returned from Acarigua had been deeply uncomfortable, but Karen had been surprisingly understanding. She’d been upset, of course, but she’d owned up to the difficult position her lie had put Rachel in and had maybe sort of apologized for it. She’d definitely agreed that killing the story was the best course of action. Rachel had tried to resign on the spot, but Karen had convinced her to take time off instead while they both sorted out what to do. “So Karen really seems to moving on from the whole fiasco?”

             
“I think she’s moved on completely,” Allison said. “And she’s serious about changing the focus of the magazine. All my assignments for the past month have been covering events like this. I’ve even gotten to do some really cool, edgy portrait sessions with people ranging from a symphony violinist to a football player to a UN translator. Karen actually gave me a decent budget for each session and told me to unleash my creativity. And I owe it all to you.”

             
“Wow. I know you’ve been telling me for the last month that things were changing, I just wasn’t sure I believed it.”

             
“Believe it. Oh, hang on a minute.” Allison wandered off to snap a few photos of whatever had caught her eye.

Rachel sipped her champagne and watched her friend work, smiling at how enthusiastic she looked.
Allison took a few candid shots of the mingling crowd and then asked several couples to take posed shots framed against the museum’s different exhibits. While she knew Allison’s true passion lay with the photos she took in her off-work hours, Rachel had never seen her look as engaged on a work assignment as she did tonight. Maybe something decent
had
come out of the whole Leo nightmare. Maybe even though her own heart was broken and—

Rachel
forced herself to break off her train of thought. If she could physically slap herself across the face in public without looking like a complete crazy person, she would have done it right then. She needed to snap out of her funk immediately. Letting herself think even one thought about Leo meant sliding down the rabbit hole of pain and despair and landing in a mud puddle of uncontrolled sobs. Which was fine when she was alone in her apartment, but it was a sure path to an ugly scene when she was standing in the Chadwick Museum surrounded by the city’s rich and beautiful people.

“
So, have you made a decision yet?”

Rachel looked up from her champagne to see Allison standing next to her again. “A decision about what?”

“About whether you still want to work at
New York Exposed
. Your six-week leave is almost up and Karen will want to know what you’ve decided. I know she wants you back. She keeps talking about the stories she wants you to cover once you return.”

Rachel sighed. “
I’m not going back to the magazine.” She’d known weeks ago what her decision would be—had told Karen as much when she came back from the island—but saying it out loud now made it seem finally real. “I can’t. This whole thing has been a wake up call for me.” She twirled the stem of her glass self-consciously. “I’ve finally admitted some things about myself and realized what I need to do to. I…” Rachel trailed off. She’d figured out so many things in the last few weeks, and Allison was such a huge part of the how and why, but she was hesitant to go into all of it in the middle of a crowded charity event. There were too many thing to say, so much of it still so raw and bittersweet, that Rachel knew if she opened the floodgates she would dump it all on Allison until her friend was absolutely buried in it. “I need to take my life in a different direction,” she finished lamely.

“I get it,” Allison said, and Rachel loved that she could count on her friend for unquestioning support. “I’m bummed that we won’t be working together, of course, but I get that you’re ready to move on. Have you decided what you’ll do instead?”

“I have a few things in the works. For one, I’ve spent the last six weeks creating and implementing a business plan for my blog, and it’s working. I know the whole thing sounds weird, but I love doing it and I’m actually bringing in considerable ad revenue now.”

“Wow, that’s awesome.
” Allison sounded genuinely excited for her. “I guess the whole Leo Hanlon mess turned out fine in the end.”

Rachel froze at the mention of
his name. All of her buried emotions slammed her heart and served as a hammering reminder of exactly how not ‘fine’ the Leo thing was. She took a gulp of her champagne, plastered a smile on her face, and reminded herself to breathe. “I guess it did,” she said much too brightly.

“Oh, Rachel honey, I’m sorry.”
Allison looked at her with an expression of understanding and concern, clearly not fooled by her chipper reply. “When I heard you talk about Leo as you were getting to know him, I suspected there was more to you two than just the story. Then you didn’t mention him at all since you’ve been back, and I thought I must have imagined it. You seemed quiet lately but not completely broken up, so I figured you were just a little withdrawn because of the work situation. But seeing your face when I said his name,” Allison touched Rachel’s arm lightly, “you’ve just been hiding it, haven’t you? There was something between you two and now you’re heartbroken. I just didn’t look closely enough to see it.”

Rachel
tried to blink back the gathering tears blurring her vision. “Everything’s fine.”

“You do not sound even remotely convincing,” Allison told her gently.

“No, really. I’m—”

“Allison Ryan?”

Allison and Rachel turned to see two men in dapper tuxes who seemed to suddenly appear from nowhere next to them. Rachel was immensely glad for the interruption. She took advantage of the moment to wipe her eyes and take a few deep breaths.

Allison stared blankly at the man
who’d spoken before recognition dawned on her face. “Jacob Merriton!” she said in a tone of voice that suggested she hadn’t seen him in an extremely long time and was pleasantly surprised to run into him again. She introduced Jacob to Rachel as an old high school friend, and Jacob introduced his friend, Lukas, to the women.

After warm greeting
s all around, Jacob turned back to Allison. “Wow. It’s been ages.” He gave her an apprising look that suggested just how glad he was to see her. “You look fantastic. How are you? What have you been doing since I last saw you? Dance with me,” he gestured to the dance floor full of couples, “so you can tell me everything.”

Allison shot a glance at Rachel. “I’m afraid I can’t dance
right now. I’m actually here on assignment.” She held up her camera as proof.

Jacob looked disappointed. “Maybe
a little later in the evening, then,” he said hopefully.

“Definitely. I’m just
preoccupied with making sure I get the shots I need. Boss would throw a fit if she found out I was dancing with the guests instead of photographing them. It was great seeing you, though.” Allison was friendly and gracious, but there was no mistaking that she was sending Jacob and Lukas off, and Rachel knew it was because she wanted to get back to their earlier conversation.

“Are you sure we can’t convince you ladies to give us
even one dance?” Lukas asked as he looked warmly at Rachel.

Allison shook her head but Rachel blurted out, “I’d love to dance.
To…ah…keep me company while Allison gets her photos.” She felt her ears grow warm with embarrassment, but she pushed it aside. Dancing with some stranger named Lukas was only the
second
to last thing she wanted to be doing right now. The absolute,
very last
thing she wanted was to be alone with Allison as her friend looked at Rachel with overflowing sympathy and asked her what happened with Leo. Allison meant well and Rachel was glad to have such a good friend, but she just couldn’t deal with talking about Leo right now.

Lukas smiled at her. “Great,” he said as he offered her his arm.

Rachel handed her champagne glass to Allison, who took it with an expression that told Rachel she wasn’t getting off the hook this easily.

As she danced with Lukas, Rachel tried to relax and focus as he made small talk with her. He was cute and polite and had the kind of charm that should have made her knees weak, but didn’t. She
was stiff and uncomfortable in his arms and their conversation was just as stilted. The awkwardness only intensified throughout the dance, flaring up each time she had to ask him to repeat a question or when she tensed if his leg brushed hers.

She thought of what a stark contrast it was to her dance with Leo on the island. There had never been stiffness between them. Instead, Rachel had melted against
Leo while they moved together effortlessly, their conversation flowing like water from a tap. Dancing with Lukas was nothing like that. It felt as completely wrong as being with Leo had been wonderfully right.

Lukas must not have noticed Rachel’s torment
or felt the same discomfort at their nearness. When the song ended, he asked her for another dance, and when she murmured an excuse about wanting to step out to the terrace for some air, he offered to escort her.

“Let me get you a drink and bring it to you on the terrace,” Lukas said. He seemed to
finally be picking up on the fact that Rachel was upset.

“Oh, don’t let
me trouble you,” Rachel said.

She felt the sting of tears in her eyes and a hard lump in her throat. What was wrong with her? Over a month had gone by since Rachel had been on the island with Leo. She’d been estranged from him for far longer than they had been together and it was beyond time to just get over it already. Whatever she felt for Leo should be fading into nothing more than a regretful memory by now, but her pain seemed to be intensifying rather than lessening. She
was barely keeping it together and if she didn’t get out of the crowded museum right now, she was worried she would crumple to the floor in a blubbering heap like some hysterical woman in an overwrought melodrama.