Exposure (14 page)

As her gaze transfixed out the window, her
chest swelled. He wanted her to stay. Except it was just to keep
her safe, not because he wanted to retract the agreement. At least,
that was the impression she got from him. But then why bring up
sleeping together? Did he…want to continue?

When had she started hoping for more?
Between dinner a month before, when he'd blown their friendship out
of the water, and right this moment, she'd found a semblance of
normal with another person. Not just someone, but Noah. Her best
friend, her anchor.

Stupid. People like them weren't capable of
picket fences and ever-afters. Both believed fairy tales were full
of crap. Marriage, kids, monogamy were fine for those that sought
the lifestyle, believed in it. She and Noah weren't those people.
At least, they hadn't been. Was she reading too much into his
request?

"Raven?" He said her name like a prayer.

"Okay," she said, her voice dull even to her
own ears. "I'll…stay. I need to stop by my apartment and get some
things." And once they were alone again, he was going to tell her
what the hell was going on. No more keeping her in the dark.

He cradled her closer in answer.

***

N
oah followed Raven
into her apartment and shut the door with Max on the other side to
stand vigil. Wordlessly, she went down the hall toward her bedroom,
so he plopped on the couch with his head in his hands. His
shaking
hands.

Ten years and he'd taken every precaution to
avoid this exact moment. Looked like his FBI contact was right.
There was a hit out on him. But why taunt Raven by following her
instead of just taking a shot? Not that he wasn't grateful.

And he hadn't been with her. Max Gerard was
the best, Noah wouldn't have hired him if he wasn't, but
shit…
he
hadn't been with her. That little incident could've
been something much more than a tail. Tonight was just a warning.
Something could've happened to her,
and he wasn't fucking
there
.

He'd stood in his condo this morning like a
dumb fuck and had said nothing as she packed, despite how
everything inside his head screamed not to let her walk. He thought
he was being irrational, clouding the friendship line with sex, so
he'd said nothing. But damn…

He swiped a hand down his face, gaze landing
on a small book on her coffee table. Picking it up for a
distraction, he skimmed the first page, recognizing her
handwriting.

And though all this seems well and good--a
rise from poor upbringings--I remain someone of little consequence.
I linger in the shadows, letting the artists shine. That is their
place, not mine. I merely give them the means. I much prefer it
this way, for reasons I dare not pull from memory or I'll sink back
into the dark.

The more he read, the bigger the hole in his
chest grew.

So when my assistant strolled into my office
on the second floor of Elements and set her palms flat on my desk
one idle Tuesday morning, I had no way of knowing that this would
be the moment everything changed. A series of dominoes tipping with
a clack, all leading to an unexpected and crazy end. One I fear I
won't ever recover from.

It was dated today. Nothing before it,
nothing after.

Raven walked into the room and set down a
suitcase.

Slowly, he rose and turned to her. "I'm
something you'll never recover from?"

She looked at the book and then him,
genuinely confused by his question. She waved her fingers for him
to pass it over. He did, and she scanned the page and reared back.
"I wrote this earlier today. Honestly, I've never written a journal
before. I let my mind go blank and just wrote." She looked up. "Max
arrived before I could read it."

For the first time tonight, his gaze took in
the dress he'd picked out for her. She was as breathtaking as he'd
imagined. Thin straps over her slender shoulders, the material
clung to her breasts and flowed like water. Raven wearing red was
instant dick CPR. Every time.

But it was more than that, more than the
physical punch of lust she invoked. Raven was smart, strong, and
compassionate. Elegant and hard-working. The only person who could
drag a laugh out of him most days. She made him desire to be
something better. Someone who could maybe be the lasting sort. To
fall asleep beside and wake up with each morning. Who'd protect her
at every turn and put her above all else.

In a way, he'd been doing it for years. Only
now, he was aware.

In the journal, she'd said she was of little
consequence. That couldn't be further from the truth. It didn't
even leave him rattled to discover she was the most important
person in this world to him, equaled and comparable only to Aubrey.
It pained him to think she felt that way. He hoped to all that was
holy he didn't put that view in her head. Didn't she get it? After
everything the past month, the past ten years, did she not see his
sun rose and set with her?

She made him…feel. After a lifetime of
forcing emotion down and welcoming the numbness that separated him
from attachment, she'd opened a door. And he was something she
wanted to recover from.

He stepped forward. "Answer me. Please."

Tossing the book down, she leveled him with
a look that nearly brought him to his knees. Desperation, longing,
desire, optimism. It melded together in the span of seconds.
Finally, she swallowed, her voice husky and raw when she spoke. "I
don't know if it's possible to recover from you."

Just like that, the room tipped. The floor
fell out from beneath his feet. The air evaporated. Yet neither of
them moved. The clock on her wall kept ticking.

"Sage." It was the only thing he could think
of to say, the only thing that seemed to make any damn sense. All
things considered, he was surprised he could force the word
out.

Confusion wrinkled her brows before they
lifted in surprise. Her lips parted in a gasp. "Noah?"

Yeah. He was invoking the safeword. "It
appears that you leaving is my hard limit." When she didn't say
anything, he took another step closer. "I don't know what in the
hell happened, but giving up on us because the time clock punched
out doesn't feel right. What could it hurt to try?" He swallowed
hard. "Stay, Raven. Stay and see where this goes."

She let out a breath, hand fisted over her
chest. "I told you sex would change everything," she whispered,
tears clinging to her long, dark lashes.

"You're still my best friend. I'd still do
anything for you, anything in my power to protect you. Sex didn't
change that. It enhanced it." He closed the distance until they
stood toe to toe and she had to crane her neck to look up at him.
He skimmed the back of his hand down her arm, linking their
fingers. "Sage, baby."

She shook her head, the motion conflicting
with the hope in her eyes. "God, Noah. You really want to do this?
What do we know about relationships? Hell, people don't get more
broken than us."

In his opinion, scars weren't a thing to
hide behind. Having them meant a person went through hell and was
still around to tell the tale. He dropped his forehead to hers. "If
you can honestly say to me you haven't thought about it, that you
aren't tempted to try, then I'll walk away. Can you say that,
Raven?"

Her eyes fluttered closed, the pulse in her
neck beating erratically. "I can't say that because you're right. I
have thought about it, about…us."

He cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at
him. Leaning in, he brought his mouth to hers, kissing her long and
thorough and deep. He edged back enough to look in her eyes. "I
think it's time you met my family."

R
aven grabbed the
armrests of her seat and pinched her eyes closed. She'd been in
Noah's float plane before, but this was different. The helicopter
didn't offer the same smooth ride or peace of mind. Sure, she was
being silly, but with her stomach in her throat it was hard to
think rationally.

After his rather cryptic announcement back
at her apartment, Noah had told her to change into comfortable
clothes and then ushered her out the door. God. He had a
helicopter. His own helicopter. At his disposal. They'd taken off
in Anchorage and were heading to destinations unknown somewhere
north. He refused to tell her where.

She wondered what he meant by
meeting his
family
. Having been introduced to his parents a few times in
college before their fatal car crash, she'd known he had no other
living relatives besides some distant cousins on his mother's side.
What could he possibly have meant by that statement?

From the seat beside her, Noah patted her
hand. "You okay, baby?" His voice came through her headset as he
yelled over the noise.

Up front, Max turned to offer her a
reassuring smile. "Almost there, Miss Crowne."

She nodded and faced the window. Several
mountain ranges, lakes, and villages passed as the copter ventured
overhead. They were low enough to make out some vegetation and
lights from the houses at their elevation.

"I didn't know you could fly, Max."

He turned and grinned again. "Yes, ma'am. I
have a license and everything."

"Ha," she barked. "Funny guy."

His shoulders shook with a chuckle, but he
said nothing more.

Noah rubbed the back of her hand with his
thumb, the coarseness of his skin causing her to shiver. The touch
succeeded in calming her a bit. "Max flies me up to the estate once
a month. He was an Air Force pilot before finishing his last tour
and coming to work for me. You're in good hands."

Max threw a thumbs-up over his shoulder.

The next twenty minutes passed with nothing
but the wide expanse of the rough Alaskan terrain. He was truly
taking her to the middle of nowhere. She couldn't even make out any
roads. Questions filled her mind, too many to voice. Noah wouldn't
answer them until he was damn good and ready, so she bit them back
and focused on the view.

The helicopter dipped left and Max's voice
filled her headset. "We're here."

She didn't see anything but mountains.
"Where are we?"

"The northern Kuskokwim Mountains, on the
western facing ridge." Noah leaned forward. "Circle in from the
other side so she can see."

"Yes, sir."

They were way west of Fairbanks, then.
Though she'd never ventured out this far, she knew the land was too
rugged for roads and no major communities were within range. Was
this why he chose the location? To make it near impossible for
others to get to him? Or…his family? The family she knew nothing
about.

The helicopter dipped right, and Noah tapped
her hand, pointing to her window. "Welcome to Aubrey Castle."

The breath caught in her throat. Though the
structure didn't look anything like a castle, it was just as
massive. With the rear snug against the base of the mountain, it
seemed to be an extension of the land. Resembling a log cabin in
design, the color of the exterior indicated redwood. Nearly the
entire front was glass. Three stories tall, she could make out a
launch pad on one side of the roof, balconies on the south end, and
a wraparound porch at the base. Thick forest with spruce and birch
were directly north, and a small lake with a spring to the
southwest. It was…breathtaking.

They said nothing as Max brought them down
onto the roof, shifted some gears, and stepped out to get Noah's
door. A crisp, biting wind shoved into the passenger hold, causing
chaos with Noah's blond hair. The whirl of the propellers overhead
slowed and stopped.

Instead of getting out, Noah turned to her.
"No one but my security team knows about this place. You need to
understand that. Once we're inside and settled, I'll tell you
everything. Just…be patient."

His clear blue eyes held hers, more exposed
than she could ever remember seeing them. He'd never brought anyone
here before, never trusted them enough. Emotion clogged her throat.
She'd passed some test in his mind if he was taking this leap.

He cupped her cheek and kissed her mouth.
"Come on, baby. There's someone I'd like you to meet."

She nodded, fighting tears, and stepped out
after him.

Taking her hand, they crossed a windy tarmac
and entered a door. Warmth immediately enveloped them. Pine and
wood polish filled her nose as she glanced around. Telescopes lined
the wall with windows, all directed up to the glass dome ceiling. A
desk and a drafting table rested in the opposite corner. Globes and
models of the solar system filled the shelves and tables.

Before she could get her bearings, the
interior door opened and a girl rushed through. Raven caught a
glimpse of wavy strawberry blonde hair before the girl ran right
past her and launched into Noah's arms.

Noah released Raven's hand to wrap his arms
around the bundle clinging to his neck with skinny arms and his
waist with her legs. "Easy, my love."

Raven stilled, hand at her throat. "My Love"
was ten, maybe eleven years old, and had her face buried in Noah's
shoulder. She was wearing a long nightgown as if she'd been
preparing for bed before they'd intruded.

Raven's heart started to pound, dread
swirling in her gut. What in the hell was going on?

"I missed you," the girl slurred.

Noah closed his eyes and kissed her head. "I
missed you, too. So much." He ran his hand up and down her back. "I
brought you a visitor."

She lifted her head, still not having seen
Raven, and waved at Max. "Did you bring me something?"

Max shoved his hand in his pocket and held
out his palm. On his outstretched hand was a penny. "1956. Don't
think you have that year, Miss Aubrey."

Aubrey. As in Aubrey Castle? Just who was
this girl and why had Noah named an entire mansion after her? Not
only that, but so far away from civilization it required them to
fly to its destination.