Authors: Dill Ferreira
© 2012 by Dill Ferreira
Text review, copydesk and design: Sheila
All rights reserved.
Storage and partial or total distribution of this work are not
allowed without the previous consent of the author.
All characters are fictitious.
Any similarity with live or deceased people shall have been
- I cannot accept this
kind of help! - Amanda spoke to herself.
How would she explain to
her little boy and her family she would marry Antônio only to destroy Breno’s
hopes of them getting back living together? The 5-year-old child, despite being
accustomed to the absence of the father, would never understand such a
What should I do? she
asked herself. I must destroy any possibility of getting back to live with
Breno. I would not ever live together again with a man who could not be
trusted. She wouldn’t stand it not even for her little son. Not after what
Amanda had seen.
Excruciating thoughts, but
already overcome, came to Amanda’s mind from that day she and her son were at
the in-laws’ to visit them. When they arrived they were not home, but as Amanda
had seen her husband's car in the back garage she believed he was there. They
searched for him at the house downstairs but did not find him. Curious at her
husband's disappearance Amanda went upstairs where the rooms were located. Everything
was quiet, but he had to be there; Breno would surely not go out leaving his
car not even on the corner.
Amanda found the master
bedroom of one of the single brothers-in-law. Perhaps Breno was with one of his
brothers, which was unusual; she knew of the differences between them. After
confirming that her husband was not in any of the rooms, she went to the
bedroom where he slept when he was single. When she opened the door Amanda saw
her husband in bed having sex with another woman. The surprise was such that
she was in shock for a few seconds absorbing that image in front of her. Amanda
did not want to believe her eyes; it was painful to see that the man she had
devoted herself to and loved was betraying her shamelessly in his parents’
She did not know if what
she felt at that moment was pain, anger or regret for the years of dedication. The
only thing that she was sure about was that her life would never be the same
after that scene. Seeing her Breno standing devoid of any expression on his
face made her even angrier at his cynicism. The scoundrel behaved as if nothing
was actually happening. What appeared to be natural to him was killing Amanda. Seeing
him standing there with unmoved countenance, Amanda left the room without
looking back. She took her son who was watching TV downstairs and left.
Along the way she tried to
be strong, but a sharp pain took hold of her. She had never in her life been so
angry at someone and she was mad at her husband and herself for being so
foolish to believe in Breno’s love. From the blatant way in which he looked at
her, it was obvious that the man had always been that way. She couldn’t notice
any bit of guilt in his eyes and this made her even more overwhelmed. What kind
of human being destroys the whole dream of a family and not feels guilty?
What had she done to
deserve to be experiencing that? Distressed, Amanda tried to focus more on the road.
She did not want another tragedy happening in her family. At home she led her
son to watch his favorite cartoon on TV and went to her room trying to digest
what had happened.
- There had been so many
times when I went looking for him. - She said bitterly, remembering the
humiliation felt by her husband’s rejections.
Several times Amanda felt
to be his inferior, as Breno hardly ever showed interested in her, unless this
could bring him some benefit, beyond the physical satisfaction. The pain she felt
when she knew that she was being cheated was killing her.
- Not today, my love, I
had a full day and I am very tired. - He used to say affectionately to convince
her. - I want to sleep a little longer. - The understanding wife did not
disturb him any more truly believing that his fatigue was caused by his work.
But now Amanda knew the
reason for such indifference on Breno’s part. He preferred to have fun away
from home with his mistresses while Amanda waited for him like a good girl and was
always willing to be there for him when he needed her. Business meetings were
another way the rascal found to have his leisure time with other women.
- My dear, today I will
have a long meeting and have no idea when I’ll get home. Do not expect me for
dinner; we'll all go to a restaurant and we’ll take the time to start off the
meeting there – he had said for several times during the years of marriage.
What would become of her
son and her? Amanda did not want to think about that right now. If she left,
fear would prevent her from taking the best direction in her life; she would
leave Breno and that adulterer would never touch her again. That was her only
certainty from then on. She felt as if she were dying, as the loving and
devoted wife he never appreciated and cared for as he should. Looking at the
photograph frame on the nightstand, Amanda felt sadness pouring over her. Her
family would become smaller from that day on and nothing would be like it was
before. Not even her.
Now, some time later, he
returns insisting on getting back together. How could she accept such a
proposal after all that happened because of his madness? No, she would not
accept it, but how to solve this once and for all!? How to get rid of her
ex-husband without taking him away from his son; although he paid him so little
attention, he was a fruit of his. “There was the father and son bond that could
not be ignored," she thought.
- I cannot accept the
marriage proposal from a friend just to get rid of Breno. -Amanda told Antônio,
the friend who had always been there for her and was very at peace with
problems, but now he did not seem to act with the same rationality as ever,
having made such a crazy proposal.
- It will not be a real marriage
Amanda. - He said grasping his friend’s hands and trying to comfort her. - We
will only be together for appearance’s sake, nothing more than that. So you can
get rid of him. - It seemed so easy listening to him talk with such seemingly
- Antônio, we are not in a
movie or a book novel, my dear. This possibility is totally insane. I would
never allow myself to such a pretend, mainly because of a negligible being such
as Breno. We cannot ruin our lives for him. - She was irreducible.
- Why do you think it
would harm our lives? - He wanted to know disguising his sorrow.
- It would not be fair to
you Antônio! - She exclaimed considering the possibility out of the question. -
Imagine if the woman of your life suddenly comes up and you are in a
make-believe marriage. Your big opportunity will go down the drain and I would
never forgive myself for that. - She said in a mixture of sorrow and concern
for the good friend. But he was determined to help Amanda.
- Why this silly refusal? -
he wondered approaching her and causing her a nice feeling of protection,
affection and respect that he had always passed on to her as a friend.
- You deserve a person
next to you to give you love, not a pretend - she completed.
- Let me decide what's
fair or not for me, okay? - Antônio said looking into her eyes. - I do not want
to see you unhappy as you were when we met. It cost me a lot to see a smile on
that sad face of yours. - Amanda looked into Antônio’s eyes with concern. Unable
to sustain her look, he averted his eyes from hers.
That reaction had further
enhanced the certainty in Amanda that she should not accept that crazy
proposal. Antônio did not want that. He was just trying to help without
thinking of the consequences it would have on his life. Some time later she
still remembered her friend's words with some regret, but also joy just to know
she could always rely on him.
Back to reality she could
not imagine another solution to get rid of the father of her child forever. Breno
was sticky and called her every day, always kind, which did not happen a lot
when they were married. Amanda remembered how domineering, bossy and possessive
he was. How come she had never realized, when they were married, what she saw
now? Amanda knew the answer to that; she had put him on a pedestal where his
faults did not show. She had been blinded by love or naivety and her ex-husband
had taken advantage of it.
For him, Amanda was just a
housewife, the always present wife when he thought she was necessary, just
that. She knew, after separation, that a relationship like theirs could not
grow. They were two separate beings, not two for one, for him only and nothing
else. Now after discovering the many affairs he had while married, she had no
more doubts about it.
However, from all that
gloomy experience, her greatest treasury, her son, had been born. For her son,
she would not be willing to live all that house of lies again. Her little one
did not deserve to live in a home surrounded by lies and hurt. She would never
allow that. Amanda looked at the photograph of her son absentmindedly on her night
bed table when a familiar voice took her out of her thoughts.
– Good morning! – In
anguish, she raised her head with a slight grin on her lips.
– Hi Breno – she answered
coldly. – What brings you here? – asked Amanda undoing the smile she had when
she was remembering her son.
– Would you like to have
dinner with me tomorrow? – He invited her, all smiles.
- What is the reason for
this insistence Breno? I have made it clear in the two weeks I intend not to
give in to your charm. Our story is over and you have to accept that. - She
also said this politely.
- You're being too cruel
to me Amanda, we are all susceptible to mistakes and what I ask is a chance to
prove that I've changed. I want to do different.
- But as far as I know you
were not wrong just that one time. You had many women my dear. This already
removes the chance of you saying you were weak once and repented. One does not
regret after being wrong so many times. This is the greatest proof that you
have never really felt that disturbing feeling.
- Not everyone can perceive
an error the first time he makes one. - He answered and Amanda watched the man
before her. Breno knew how to cheat very well, too bad she had been properly
vaccinated against his tricks.
- I'm sorry Breno – she
responded. - I have an appointment. - Although she doubted that information
would push him away from the insistence that he had been demonstrating, she
still used this pretext.
- Call it off. - He said
with the same smile on his face.
- Unfortunately I can’t do
that. - Amanda was starting to get annoyed by the man’s arrogance.
- I just want to talk to
you Amanda. Is it too much to ask from the mother of my child? - He said
gesturing as if he were performing a tragedy on stage.
- Wait for Lucas to be
back and we will talk together. He is the most interested party here and has
the right to be present. - She said.
- Are you trying to get
away from me? - He asked approaching her and exhaling smell of expensive
cologne. - You are afraid to give in and find that you still want me! - Amanda
watched him with his authoritative tone as if he had full assurance of what he
- Why would I do that? -
Amanda asked staring at his face. Breno was older, but he still had his charm.
The marks of sleepless nights
were evident on his face. Probably he had had a lot of party time, clubbing and
women during the time he was away, giving no news of his whereabouts. Although
she was irritated to note this fact, Amanda also knew that it was not jealousy;
she had not had this feeling for him for a long time now. Her annoyance was due
to the fact that he had forgotten his responsibilities as a father.
- I don’t know for sure
why you would do that but we must overcome these grievances, we have a son and
this is not good for him. He replied.
“Was that Breno talking
about what was good for his child?" She thought. If he were not uttering
those words himself, maybe she would have believed them.
- For our son to be well
we need not dine together - she criticized. Since returning Breno invited her
for dinner and always used their son when he realized that she would refuse. -
Furthermore, Lucas has already gotten used to the separation, which did not
happen yesterday, as you make it sound, but a long time ago. - Amanda was outraged
by the fact that he only worried about the child’s well-being now that he had
returned and found himself alone, with no one waiting for him.
- You are very bitter
Amanda. You should put yourself in people’s place. - She was so amazed at that
comment that she grimaced. All right! - He kept putting his hands inside his
pants pocket. - I will not insist, for now. You need to take your time. - He
concluded making Amanda ignore his every word because he doubted it could be so
easy. - Let's keep in touch and I want you to know that my only wish is to have
my family back as it was like in the old times.
- That will never happen
again Breno. One does not rebuild a broken crystal, no matter how hard we wish.
- She knew it well.
- See you, dearest. - He
said taking her hand and giving it a light kiss before leaving.
Amanda looked at her
fallen hand wondering how some people were able to change their conduct and
words in favor of their own goal. Breno seemed a new person, although he
continued with the same old arrogance and that she had only noticed after