Make-Believe Marriage (6 page)

- It's enough time to get
used to the situation. In case you want to give up on it, you will have more
time. - She joked.

- I will not give up – he
said seriously. - I'll be with you until the end. - Amanda was ashamed for
having made him think that she doubted his words. She knew that Antônio would
not leave her, although sometimes she wished he did, out of fear of hurting him
and why not, hurt herself, because the future was an enigma.  

- Do not think that I
doubt that you’ll really go all the way with me. It's just that sometimes I
wish you would break that promise, which seems increasingly crazy. - She
justified herself.

- If you want it to be
broken, you break it. I do not intend to do so, dear. - He had been sincere and
at that moment, Amanda noticed that their union would materialize no matter
what happened, because she would not have the courage to refuse the good help
of her friend and because he would not break his word. The best option then was
to get used to it and accept that fate for both. She wished only that
everything went as well as possible.

Oops, sorry... I should be
thanking you every day, and not trying to make you change your mind – she
concluded embarrassed.

Antônio took her hand and placed
in on his mouth kissing it lightly. His kindness still frightened her, no man
used to help a woman without having ulterior motives, but out of respect for
Antônio, Amanda could not see anything that could benefit him there. He had
never hinted he was interested in her. They were true friends, that's all. The
marriage subject was dropped and then they could talk about their lives for a
long time until Amanda said it was time to go.

- Thank you for your
company. It was a beautiful day. - She thanked him as he left the door of the
building.

- Friends and future
married couples are for such things. - He said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Amanda took the night to
do a brief analysis of the costs and profits of her store that were returning
her good results and took the chance to check on what sector of her store she
should invest more, since the capital was beginning to grow. The work had taken
so much of her time that she only realized what time it was when the phone
rang.

- Amanda? - asked the old,
familiar voice.

- Yes, Breno! - She
confirmed tired of all the accounting and of the ex-husband.

How was your day? I was in
your apartment and you were not there. - He seemed visibly upset by her
absence.

- My day was very good,
thank you – she answered without telling where she had been.

- Were you out with your
friend? - Breno asked but got no answer, which made him lose the artificial
calm. - You do not think that I believe there is something between you and that
man? - He was determined to spoil the rest of Amanda’s night. She was sure of
it. In fact, that seemed to be the only purpose since he had returned.

- What you think or do not
think means nothing to me, Breno. - She paused not to utter heavier words to
the father of her child. - Now if you'll excuse me, I need to rest, it's very
late. - Without waiting for an answer she hung up the phone, taking it off the
hook and went to sleep. If someone wanted to talk to her they would have the number
of her mobile phone.

Amanda arrived at the
store early on Monday since they would have a full day which would not give her
time to waste on frivolities such as her former husband, who certainly would come
looking for her after the call the night before. Breno was bothering her for
days now and insisted blatantly to invite her to dinner and she always refused.
On that day he could witness her lack of time and maybe he would just leave her
alone.

- Don’t you have time to eat,
Amanda? - He had asked the previous week.

- When I'm hungry I grab anything
to eat, a light snack. - She replied at the time without getting angry.

But he was not intimidated
and continued pushing. On that particular day she would have a good alibi.
Amanda was surprised he did not call; she was already used to his calls and
even missed them, but then she was thankful for some peace and quiet.

By late afternoon she had
news of her son which completed her good start of the week. Antônio would be
busy, like her. Amanda then decided not to bother him by sending only a text
message saying that they would talk the following day.

Chapter
IV

On Tuesday, for Amanda’s
dissatisfaction, Breno called early.

- We need to talk. - He
said on the phone. - And don’t you make any excuses, I will continue insisting
until you get tired and accept. - He spoke without any hint of embarrassment by
her refusal.  Listening to him talk that way Amanda realized that the man was
in no hurry and seemed to rejoice in the disturbance that he caused to her. Analyzing
better, Amanda decided that she would have to act against his expectations. Her
“no”, Breno already had and he did not care to hear it again. She’d accept the
invitation and maybe she would discourage him right away.

- At what time, Breno? -
Amanda asked determined to put an end to that nuisance.

- Is 11 all right by you? -
He smiled on the other end of the line visibly pleased to have won. - I'll be
waiting here. - She said drily. Amanda would give him one more chance not to
upset her again, but she would do it for her son. One day, he would get tired
of being rejected and leave her alone.

- Will you have lunch with
him? - Carol asked surprised and upset.

- I will. Perhaps if he
really sees my total lack of interest in him, he will decide not bother me
anymore, at least this week. “How could it be that a person was so set on being
so low”, she thought annoyed while talking to Carol remembering her
ex-husband’s attitudes. Breno had no idea when it was time to stop disturbing. His
arrogance prevented him from accepting a “no” and made him a man without limits
and without respect for himself.  He would have to change his life or he would
be a very bad example for his child.

- Attitudes such as these
rarely settle an issue, Amanda. Stay on the alert and try not to make a lot of
mistakes with respect to you ex-husband. He may misinterpret and get even worse
- advised the girl.

- Worse than he already is
Carol. God forbid! If this keeps up I'll need to ask the judge to issue a
restraining order. - Amanda said, smiling, but inside, she was very troubled by
all this.

- Treat him as he deserves
and stop worrying about the fact that Breno is the father of your child and put
him in his place. He did not think of any of you when left you without a penny.
Of course there must be respect between you, but you don’t have to endure
assaults every day, just to keep a good relationship between parents; that’s
total harassment. - Amanda heard her friend speak agreeing with her nodding her
head.

- You're right, Carol. I'll
remember that when necessary.

Both returned to their
duties and until lunch time, they had already completed the organization of the
products that had arrived the week before. Breno arrived on time. He was well
dressed, as usual, and displayed his best and most self-confident smile.

- Where do you want to go
Amanda? - He asked admiring her simple but elegant suit.

- It is up to you. - She
replied without the slightest interest in choosing something for them to share.

- Okay, I'll take you to a
place you used to love to go. - Breno said trying to please her.

He actually took her to a
restaurant that she liked to go. She had been with Antônio there days ago. Remembering
him, Amanda missed her friend. Breno was nothing like him. Antônio was polite,
attentive and never addressed a waiter with the air of superiority the way
Breno was doing then.

- How is our son? - Amanda
wondered why his first question had to do with their son. This was not like
Breno. First he exposed his feelings and when he had no good results he
mentioned Lucas, in an attempt to move her.

— He’s fine. - She
answered. - When he returns from vacation he’ll call you and you’ll see him.

- I have not seen Lucas in
quite some time. He should be a big boy now. - He spoke thoughtfully leaving
Amanda curious to know what was going through his mind at that moment.

- When it comes to a child
it’s quite a long time indeed. - She snapped. - After all, Breno, what has
brought you back? - Amanda asked.

- You and Lucas, of
course! - This was his ready answer. Breno seemed to be waiting for the
question.

- Do you intend to stay
long? - She wanted to know to prepare her spirit and her patience when she
needed it.

- Forever. - A painful
response for her to hear.

Amanda looked into his
eyes and could see that this seemed to be his true intent. It would not be easy
to have that cynical man always around and disturbing. She would have to
accumulate a lot of patience in case he did not change his attitudes toward her

- Tell me something,
Amanda. - He seemed curious about something. - Don’t you miss our time
together? - She thought of telling him that she had never missed his lies, his
extramarital affairs, his changing moods. She missed only the father of her
child that had left him without a cause. At that time she could only miss one
person who picked her up and helped her the way Breno had never been able to,
Antônio. Yes she did miss him. - Amanda, are you there? - he asked noticing her
absence.

- Of course I'm here,
where else could I be? - She knew where she was and was not near there.

- I said we could get over
it, just a little conversation and understanding. I assure you that I am
willing to do anything to get it right. - Amanda just looked at him. It was
strange, but she could not even pity her ex-husband. Nothing he said or did reached
her feelings or cleared her of any of her doubts; it was as if Breno had not
been part of her life. Something had definitely taken him out of her mind and
heart. And he was the one to blame for that.

- I do not think that's the
best option for us. - She said self-confidently.

- This is the best and
only alternative we have to regain our family and give a complete home to our
son. - The way he was talking was exasperating her. It was as if only he knew
what was best for the three of them and was the only one prepared to decide for
the two of them. Amanda wanted to say there was another man in her life and
that they would soon be married, providing a decent and good home to her son. However,
she preferred to say nothing, perhaps Breno didn’t really intend to file for
custody and if she forced him, she could make him rethink the matter. The
waiter arrived bringing the drinks.

- Your favorite drink. -
Breno said handing her a reddish glass that he had asked without her realizing
it, because Amanda was not at all happy with that meeting and only agreed to go
because of her son.

- It is no longer my
favorite, Breno. - She said it to help him realize that much of that Amanda
that had been deceived by him no longer existed. - Days change us a lot. - she
finished speaking and picked up the drink; although it failed to be her
favorite, it was still tasty.

- I noticed you have
changed. More self-confident and feminine. - He confessed watching her a
little. - What caused it, this little ring? - he scoffed touching on her finger
on the table.

- You caused it. - She
said feeling a certain pleasure to see she had stunned him.

- So I still have some
power over you! - Breno was blind to the things he could not control.

- You sure do. The power
to break all the sweetness, naiveté and fragility that was inside me. You
managed all that, congratulations. - There was no bitterness in Amanda's voice.
This feeling had no more space in her life and would never have again Even if
Breno insisted on the hurt to be reborn, she would not allow it ever because
both he and those feelings had been deleted from her life.

- This guy who gave you
this – he said pointing at the ring. - might take a lot more from you; I had to
lose you to see how much I want you. He has not been through something like
that yet, maybe he does not even like you. Why risk it if you have the chance
to do it right with me? - Her confidence made her increasingly certain that she
had wasted her time going to that lunch to try to make him see that there was
no more future for them.

- From where do you get
this self-sufficiency? - She wanted to know.

- What can you tell me
about this man you’re going out with? - He asked without answering her
question.

- He is a man like few. He
is a friend and is always there when I need him. He treats me and Lucas with
love and respect and will be my husband soon. - "He needed to hear
something that would impact negatively his foolish confidence." she
thought.

- You're kidding, aren’t
you Amanda? You’re just saying that to hurt me. - She had achieved her goal,
his face had changed. - No one will ever love you like I do. Put this once and
for all in your head. You will only bring suffering upon you and Lucas by going
ahead with your stubbornness. You have always loved me and something as large
as that does not end over night. – Breno gestured while he talked. He was truly
stressed out seeing that the battle was coming to an end and he was losing it.

– You disappeared for
almost one year, and I know the reason well; don’t pretend to be honest. Love
is not a little seed that you plant, water and –
voila
-, there will be
fruits for the rest of your life. It needs constant watching over, Breno. There
is no feeling that survives from crumbs, my dear. I can assure you that the
only thing that I expect from you is that you be the father that you have not
been to Lucas so far. If you can’t reach that goal, I’ll understand and will
accept it if you go away and leave him at peace. – That was her biggest wish but
she could not wish something that would impact exclusively on her son. She had
no right.

- You are hurt and now I
understand well what you felt, but I want to change Amanda. Give me a chance! -
Breno did not avert his eyes from hers. If it were in other circumstances she
might even believe him, such was his performance.

- Breno I want only two
things from you; if you can do them I'll be truly grateful. - He stopped
talking and looked at her puzzled. - I hope you are the father you have never
been to Lucas and go on with your life and leave me alone. Our story is over
and there is nothing that could make me go back on my decision – she said self-assuredly.

- You're being cruel to us
and to our story. - He insisted.

No, I'm not, Breno. I will
soon get married and maybe I can be happy with another man the way we were
never happy when we were together. And honestly I wish you the same. - this
might not be the moment of revelation, but Amanda was tired of hearing him
speak about a subject that did not interest her and that would never happen.

- I was waiting for a more
intimate conversation to make my decision and you managed to piss me Amanda, so
I'll have to go ahead with my intention to keep custody of my son. -He spoke
with a voice full of bitterness.

Amanda waited for this
news. It would only delay the inevitable if she continued avoiding being frank
with him.

- Do as you please. - She
replied with a huge pain in her soul. - I think we'd better go now. - She no
longer needed to force a pleasant relationship with him, Breno did not deserve
it.

- Finish your food. Take
your time, you can still change your mind. Breno swallowed the whole drink he’d
asked for.

-I'm not hungry, thank
you. - there was something huge in her throat preventing her from swallowing or
drinking, whatever that was.

Breno seemed secure. The
certainty of victory was visible on his face making Amanda feel small and wishing
strongly that Antônio was there to help her, as he always had. But he was not
and she would need to be courageous and take care of herself.

After a few minutes he
asked for the check and they left. In the car, Breno tried to touch her hand,
but Amanda withdrew it before he could reach his goal.

- I do not want to make
you suffer. Think about it! - He asked with a honeyed voice causing her chills.

- I do not want to talk about
this subject any more Breno. Your decision is made and so is mine. - She would
not let him see how fragile she was with that news. She would be strong for her
sake and that of her son.

- I will ask my lawyer to
wait a few days, in case you change your mind. - He did not seem to believe in
her decision not to be reconciled. - Do you want me to leave you at the store?–
he asked.

- If you can, leave me at
my building. - She asked still firm with the words.

Along the way they did not
speak. Amanda chose to look at the movement of the streets and so it was until
they arrived.

- Thanks for lunch – she thanked
him while getting out of the car.

- Think a little more,
I'll be waiting. - Amanda went in without looking back. She had to get rid of
him to pun on her pain mask.

At home she cried all she
wanted to cry in the restaurant, were it not for her self-esteem. Her son could
not be taken from her, it would kill her. She knew it was his right to have
custody of the child, but when it comes to Brazilian law where the smart ones
always managed to draw a card up their pockets, finding breaches in the law,
anything could happen. Now all she had to do was wait to her advantage to get
custody and ultimately get rid of Breno. She would have two major battles ahead
and her chances were great to win both. And she’d do her best to succeed.