Make-Believe Marriage (10 page)

- I cannot do this with
Antônio, Carol! He's a great friend and I love him that way - she emphasized. -
She had always loved Antonio as a friend, but she was also aware that her needs
would make her an easy prey for a man, especially being loving and good as she
was.

- There are many friends
who have had an emotional involvement and now get along very well. You are not
the exception if you make an attempt. In addition, if it fails, you can remain
friends as usual - explained the girl determined to convince Amanda.

- I would not know how to
look at him the same way as before if we had a more intimate relationship –
Amanda said to her friend.

- Nonsense! This is more
normal than you might think. People need to take chances, we sometimes think
that love is far away and we puzzle over temporary affairs without realizing
that love is right there - said Carol pointing at the street. - Other couples
in turn realize the chemistry in time and begin a relationship that can work
for the rest of their lives, and if it is not what they thought, they can still
remain friends as before or perhaps even closer, because they know the
weaknesses, qualities and faults of each other from a greater angle. - The girl
was determined to help her friend see beyond her fear.

- Let's leave it at that. -
Amanda said. - We see ourselves as friends and so we will be until the end of
this circus. - The assistant lowered her guard discouraged.

- You do not know what
you're missing! An experience doesn’t hurt anyone - concluded Carol going back
to organizing a few pieces that she had shown to a client minutes before
starting the conversation. Amanda watched her return to her activities and did
the same. She needed to busy her mind with something or would go crazy enough
to throw herself in Antônio's arms or give up everything and take the chance of
losing her son, and still have to endure her ex-husband even closer.

Days went by like the
wind. Amanda and Antônio went out together often to make people believe their
union. Breno sometimes showed up, but did not disturb her very much. On several
occasions when Amanda and Antônio went out together they met friends that
saluted them with joy and some even came to say that they had already expected
for the wedding, because they were a cute couple, though they continued to
insist that they were just friends. Upon hearing the comments, Amanda wondered
where they got those ideas, what they did to lead people think that they could
have a man and wife relationship. They saw something that did not exist, or
both were blinded by friendship and never realized the possibility of having a
relationship beyond the brother-and-sister one? The lie they had come up with
became increasingly complicated.

It was on a cloudy night
that Amanda got really worried about the direction that their relationship
took. They were invited to go to a party thrown by some friends and at the
insistence of Antônio she decided to go. The occasion was better than she could
imagine. They made jokes with disputes between couples and Amanda found herself
competing with all her strength on her victory and Antônio’s. Were it not for
the great friendship they had, they could certainly try a more intimate
relationship. But there was no room for that radical change in their lives. They
would need to accept what had been donated by destiny and go on the best
possible way.

On certain occasions
Antônio held her with possession when they talked with others. They exchanged
caresses involuntarily as if those attitudes were constant in their
relationship. They were playing the game and Amanda began to be more at ease to
the point of feeling good with all that closeness they were having.

 It was late when they started
to play slow songs and all couples, without exception, went to the dance floor.
Amanda was already well acquainted with those people and did not care to go up
to Antônio, who was across the room talking to a co-worker, to invite him to
dance. When he saw her approaching, beautiful and unsure, Antônio felt his
heart accelerate and had to be very careful because the end of that night could
be memorable but destructive for them. When she touched his arm he stopped
breathing for a moment that seemed like hours. Amanda smiled at him sweetly and
they went together to the dance floor.

- Was it not you who said
we needed not to perform our relationship so well! - He spoke when she leaned
her body against his.

- It was for you not to
perform so well, but I can! - Amanda was agitated and her reasoning seemed
slower than it should. “Damn wine!" she thought trying to filter in her
mind what she should or should not say to Antônio. She had had some glasses of
drinks and felt lighter than ever.

- Then you can do whatever
you want with me and I cannot do like you? - He asked in jest, but with a
malicious voice.

- Yeah, maybe! - they
looked at each other for a few seconds and Amanda leaned her head already heavy
on his shoulder and followed the rhythm of the music. Every centimeter of her
body was noticed by Antônio and the situation was driving him out of his mind, sending
him several warning messages during that dance that looked more like mating. Having
that beautiful woman in his arms was something very challenging to him that had
been always in control and rational.

The first song ended up allowing
Antônio to breathe more easily. It wasn't easy to spend about three minutes with
Amanda in his arms without moving a finger to caress her warm and feminine
body. When they were about to leave the dance floor, a beautiful love song
began and all remained where they were and the two of them felt trapped with
each other, watching the couples kiss and dance closer and more passionate.

- What will we do? - We
don’t belong here. - He said unsure.

- I think the acting needs
to be good tonight. You chose the most romantic party in the world to go today
- Amanda said with a fake smile.

- We can go now if you
want. - It was all he wanted or would not be responsible for his future actions.

- As my assistant says,
let's enjoy the evening. - That was not the answer he needed, but if she wanted
to go on, so let be it.

Once more Amanda wrapped
her arms around him and that contact eliminated all of Antônio’s strengths who
held her as tight as a treasure that he did not ever want to lose. Amanda
slowly raised her face and she could see anguish in his eyes. She wanted to
touch her friend's face as he had done so many times relieving her of her
problems. Antônio certainly was not happy about the situation, but there was no
turning back and they had to go all the way. They would have to withstand
doubts and uncertainties. All he needed was to lower his eyes for Amanda to get
lost in them. Raising her lips, Amanda covered his mouth with hers. It was a
double surprise, but neither managed to prevent that contact. Antônio received
a mouth eager for pleasure and raveled him with that reaction. He knew Amanda
was under the reaction of the wine, but he would not be a scoundrel to seize
the opportunity of a kiss. He needed that balm as well as air.

Their tongues seemed to be
in the rhythm of the music, slow, sweet and united as in a dance. Amanda
touched his face tenderly as she tried to savor him more. The reaction she felt
at that moment was strange and delightful; it seemed that she had never been
kissed and that at any moment they would go to another greater level of
intimacy. Their bodies craved so for that that she could feel and even if she
didn’t, she could not deny it. Amanda moaned softly, to be caressed on the nape
and then immediately feel the warmth of manly hands on her back. Her body was
no longer hers. She needed to put an end to her needs and Antônio was the
perfect man for that. Entwining him around the neck Amanda leaned her breasts
on him and made a small pressure that almost left him breathless.

- Are you all right? - He
asked moving away a bit and touching her chin.

- I guess so. - She said
turning her face to the side trying to hide her desire. Antônio gently kissed
her on the cheek. Then he lovingly observed her and felt it was time to stop.

- Let's call it a night,
we need to go. - grabbing her hand they left the dance floor.

Returning home worked like
a bucket of cold water. Amanda leaned back on her seat and said nothing, she
had not considered the consequences of an evening under alcohol. However, the
amount of alcohol she had drunk was not enough to have left her so uninhibited,
as she had been. It would be best left as it was, there was something bigger
and more important than them at that moment. On arrival Antônio mustered up all
his self-control to take Amanda to her apartment. Going back home had been
empty, with no conversation between them, but that would be the best option so
that the end of the evening did not lead the two of them on a bed quenching
their bodies in need for love.

- Thanks for the lovely
evening we had - thanked Amanda when they reached the door of her apartment and
she looked for her keys, baffled.

- Glad you had fun – said
Antônio in a low voice. Both went in still sort of embarrassed. Although the
evening had been cheerful and promising, they seemed afraid of their actions. Each
one of them knew of their blame in that situation, but both did not know how to
solve it

– This evening was quite
convincing! – sad Amanda putting her pocket book on the couch.

– You are right. It was
really revealing for our acquaintances. – He completed, standing near the door.

– Do you suppose we are
doing the right thing Antônio? – Amanda asked him. Something started to bother
her.

– I don’t know Amanda, but
I hope so. – He replied. They looked at each other in a different way than
Amanda remembered. That could be the end of a great friendship and Amanda was
not willing to lose a friend that was so important to her.

– If I said that I’d like
to cancel out on our deal, would you agree? – Amanda flinched. But she needed
to go on with that pretend on account of her son. Somehow, however, she felt
that might not work out as they had imagined.

– Unless you are
determined to stop everything, I do not agree! –He explained trying to show
more confidence than her.

– All right. If you still
believe in the possibility of a good outcome, I’ll be there with you. – She
could not do that alone and since she did not have his support, she would go on,
but more cautiously.

– I’ll get going. Good
night! – Antônio went up to her and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

– Good night, Antônio! – they
held hands and Antônio left.

After leaving Amanda at
her apartment, Antônio kept wandering through the city before going to his own
house. At first, he believed that he could control himself and act only as the
friend he had always been to Amanda. She needed him. However, now he did not
know what to do with that old feeling that insisted on emerging at any moment.
His self-control was coming to an end and he would need it until everything was
over, or until Amanda realized the huge chemistry between them, but that she
insisted on ignoring, maybe now out of sheer fear. He knew that from then on,
his battle would even harder because they would be nearing their wedding day
and had no idea how it would be after that date, sharing the same space with
her. Time was closing in, it was time to go back to reality and go home. Antônio
started the car and left.

On Monday morning, Amanda was
checking some of her notes when Antônio called to check on her.

– My day started out very
busy today, but everything is in order now. How are you? She wanted to know.

– I do not have much to
do, so I thought of inviting Lucas to know the new house - said Antônio.

– I’ll be too busy this
morning, but think that I will be finished in the afternoon. – Amanda really
wanted to see her son’s reaction to the new house.  She hoped that he would
behave as he did when he knew about their wedding. His reaction was pure joy,
which Amanda already expected, because her son and Antônio got along very well.
Now she would take him to his new home.

– I’ll stop by your store,
pick up Lucas at school and we’ll go to the new house. – Antônio said happily
with the confirmation of the visit. He had been waiting for that moment for
days.

– Lucas returns to classes
today and soon afterwards we’ll take him to see his new house. I hope he likes
his new home. – said Amanda to her friend hanging up the phone.

Her son had returned from
the trip the day before, full of news from the farm and she took the
opportunity to spend her free time with him. Antônio was off to settle a family
matter and could not meet them. Amanda recalled the occasion when she separated
from the father of her child and how hard it had been for him to lose the male
presence so quickly. If Breno had left soon after they separated, certainly the
child would have suffered less, but Breno was behind adventures regardless of
the feelings of the child, certain that when he returned Amanda would have
changed her mind and would take him back, as if nothing had happened. It would
not be so, she promised herself, when she learned of his trip without saying
goodbye to the boy who had been in tears without understanding why he had disappeared.
Breno was not a present father, but he liked to bring Lucas toys; he only knew
how to please with gifts, this was his winning tactics. As the child did not
understand, he believed to be much loved by the father who made him very sad
with his absence. To the delight of Amanda and the boy shortly afterwards Antonio
had came into their lives. A highly-valued friend that had helped her go
through the difficulties that many women experience when they separate and do
not have a profession that can support them. As if it was not enough he also
became the precious father image that her son needed in his early life. Antônio
was affectionate and knew how to cheer things up for little Lucas like no one
knew and got attached to the man as he had never been to his own father. It was
all that Amanda needed for strength and to move forward with her plans and
dreams.