Make-Believe Marriage (7 page)

After a cold shower,
Amanda lied down to try to sleep and forget that lunch. For a long time she
stood there, eyes closed, imagining how nice it would be if Breno stayed away
for good, leaving her alone with her son. Breno, however, was close and would
not stop disturbing her whenever he was given the opportunity. Lost in her
thoughts she fell asleep without realizing it. After waking from her brief nap,
Amanda took another shower, due to the heat.

- He just waited for you
to announce the wedding to show his claws. I knew that when he was sure he was
losing you, he’d attack with his last card. - Her friend was furious when she
heard about the conversation they had had at lunch.

- He said he will wait for
a few days, but I know he will take this forward because I won't ever go back
to him. - said Amanda.

- Do not worry, everything
is in your favor. Evidence and Antônio will collaborate a lot. - Carol cheered
her.

- So be it. - Amanda said
remembering the strong influences that Breno had. - Her chances would certainly
be higher than those of Breno if they were fighting on equal grounds. She knew
it, but if it came to be the decision of a judge who could be friends with
Breno, she knew she was in danger of having problems and if she lost she would
need to appeal making the long and painful decision for her child. But if need
be she would go all the way to last court in the world.

After the chat, both
returned to the work they were doing before lunch and did not talk any more
about it. In the evening, at home, Amanda made her usual late night snack and
after reading some articles about fashion, she went to bed. She was exhausted,
which helped her fall asleep faster. A bad dream came to torment her during her
rest.

Amanda was alone among
nonsense. Her face was sad and there was no one around, she was immensely
alone. In that tangle of situations she said to herself that that was not real,
that all that suffering was an illusion, yet the pain seemed so real and
hurtful that she began to doubt whether it was a dream or if she was awake. Her
son seemed to be missing and she did not know how or when he was gone. No
matter how hard she tried to remember something, she could not. Her mind was
empty and nothing there helped unravel that puzzle and find out where and how
it was. For a long time she kept that bad feeling until, exhausted, was lost in
her dreams and fell asleep again.

Chapter
V

– Hi there! Antônio – said
Amanda after the call had been transferred.

– Amanda, what a surprise,
you calling me! – He was happy to hear her sweet voice.

– I hope I’m not bothering
you. I needed to talk to you – she said still wondering if she had done the
right thing to call him.

– I have some free time in
the morning. Did anything happen? – he asked concerned. Knowing her as he did, Antônio
knew she would not call only to say hello; there was something in her tone of
voice that worried him.

– Breno and I had lunch
together yesterday. – That information turned on his alert signal. Amanda was
going to say they would not follow the plan and that she would get back with
her husband. He was not prepared to hear those words, but would listen as best
as he could.

– Really? -He replied with
the intonation of a question and a weak voice.

- He threatened me again. He
said he will wait for a few days and if I do not change my mind and get back
together with him, he will forward the request for Lucas’s custody to the
judge. - Amanda spoke in such a sad voice at the end of the sentence that
Antônio felt ashamed of thinking that Amanda had given in to her ex-husband.

- Did you say anything
that encouraged him to make a decision so out of the blue? We were expecting
that he could use this sort of blackmail, but he was too fast, was he not!? - Antônio
asked.

- I said that we would get
married soon. - When Antônio heard this, he was overwhelmed with joy. - I could
see yesterday that I’ll have to confront him because I do not intend to give in
to his blackmail at all. - She kept talking and making Antônio proud of the
woman he had chosen to be his wife. - I hope I can count on you during this
difficult phase. - Amanda wished she could tell him also that she really missed
the comfort that he passed on to her at moments like that, but she chose to
remain silent; it would be best that way. They did not need more problems and
questions in their lives.

- No doubt about it. I
will not leave you alone in this. - it was the best he could say, since he was
not close to her to comfort her more.

- It was everything that I
needed to hear. I hope I'm not asking too much of you – she apologized.

- You know you can count
on me. - As Antônio spoke Amanda began feeling more at peace. She knew this
would only happen when she talked to Antônio; that’s why she called him so early.

- We will win this fight,
believe me. - His enthusiasm eased her. - Tell me one thing Amanda. You called
me just to talk about Lucas’s father. Didn’t you miss me? - Antônio’s question
caught her by surprise, but since he was her best and dearest friend she
decided to go along with him and leave that issue aside at least for an
instant.

- You cannot imagine how
much I missed you – she said and remembered how much she had wished her
friend’s hug.

- That’s good because I
missed you too. - He confessed. - So much so that I will leave now although I
have a very important job - he said. - "It will be good to get a little
away as well, so maybe you miss me enough to realize that you can’t live
without me," he wished in his thoughts and laughing at his foolish
imagination.

- It's hard not to miss
you, did you know that? - Amanda confessed being relieved because he could not
see her face on fire.

- Is it the friend saying
this or the woman? - He asked curious for the answer, but not showing a lot of
interest in what she would say. While both pretended to play cat-and-mouse,
they could unwind their throbbing minds.

- Both, of course! - The
answer was clever and noncommittally. - What person would not miss a friend
like you, and what woman would not miss such a man? - She added.

 - When will you give me a
less complex answer, my wife to be? - He joked making her laugh.

- I do not know. For now
that is the one I have. Now imagine people seeing a couple about to get married
and having a chat like that. - She said laughing. That sound accelerated
Antônio's heart on the other side.

- I do not even want to
think about it. But we need to be less formal even when we are alone. The fact
that we are so used to treating each other like brother and sister may cause us
to act this way in front of others and we do not even realize it - said Antônio
sure of what he was saying.

- You're right. - Amanda
agreed analyzing she had not thought about it.

- So next time we will be
more passionate, agreed? - Antônio asked.

All right. - said Amanda
insecure. How would she say
my love
, or something similar, to a friend
such as Antônio?

- Do you want to start
now? We hang up the phone and you call me again only then as a passionate and happy
bride. - Antônio laughed, but inside something pulsed very quickly. What would
it be like to hear, even if it were not true, Amanda saying she loved him?

- We'd better not! Today
we leave it like that. - "The conversation was going a dangerous path. She
needed to stop it there," she thought. - I'll let you work, we’ll talk
later. - Amanda said trying to get out of that embarrassing situation.

- I will finish on the
scheduled time, do not worry. - Antônio realized she was dodging and preferred
not to insist.

- When do you return? -
The question was no more than a whisper. She seemed as if she wanted to know
the answer, but was afraid of what he would think.

- On Saturday, I believe. I
had not said anything to you because I was not so sure yet - he justified
himself

- So see you Saturday. -
Amanda said goodbye hoping the week would go by quickly to have her support
pillar back soon.

- Amanda? - He called.. –
If there is anything you need or simply want to talk to me, call me any time
you want.

– Thanks Antônio! – she
was sure that she’d sleep better that night.

After the goodbyes, Amanda
went back to her work in order to keep herself busy all day and not have any
bad thoughts that could come in the way of the happiness she’d felt by talking
to Antônio. The work had really been a great ally to her, who only looked at
the time when her assistant informed they would be closing in a few minutes and
needed to organize the last missing pieces.

At home, Amanda reflected
about the conversation she had with Antônio. He seemed anxious to know if she
had missed him. Although he had disguised well enough, as well as she, she
could not deny she missed him a lot, but also could not explain exactly to what
extent, because she did not know herself of her needs with regard to her
friend. She was only sure of one thing: when Antônio was around, she always
felt protected.

The fatigue of the day had
been so much that Amanda went to bed early and fell asleep right away. On the
following days she tried to repeat her heavy day's work. She closed orders with
suppliers and called her Premium customers informing them of new releases that
had arrived. Her assistant noticed Amanda's restlessness and that she was doing
the work of both, but chose not to question, knowing she needed that time. Reorganizing
what was already so as not to see time pass.

On Saturday Amanda was
anxious, but she could not see the reason for that excitement. Her friend who
was watching decided to relieve her tension with an unconvincing comment.

- Why so much anxiety,
Amanda? Is it because somebody who has been absent for days will be coming
back?! - Her question already provided the answer.

- Stop making inconvenient
insinuations girl - scolded Amanda. - Your mind is too dirty to understand my
actions.

- I did not say anything. You
are the one who seems to have a dirty mind today. - Amanda heard her and stared
at her fuming.

Me! - The girl laughed
loudly with the admiration she saw in her girl friend’s eyes.

- You are out of this
world, Amanda. When will you realize what is going on in your heart? - She
spoke as if she knew Amanda better than herself and this irritated her.

- Take care of your heart
that I will take care of mine. - Although Carol did not have the slightest idea
of what it was to be in her shoes. Amanda loved having her as a friend and
employee, because she knew that in many ways the young girl was smart and wise
which made her worried about the comments she made.

- I try to take care only
of mine but you're always worrying me because it seems that you can’t take care
of yourself. And I, as a good friend, must help you. - The assistant said
irradiating her rich smile.

- Silly! I can take pretty
good care of myself. Do not give me excuses to meddle into my life. - Amanda
snapped again.

- If you in fact did it,
you would have realized by now what this need meant when Antônio is not around.
- Amanda heard this information looking at her friend startled.

- Anyone who had a
mainstay like Antônio would feel heartbroken when she needed him and could not
have him, as is my case these days. - Amanda justified herself.

- All right. Whatever. If
you say so… I didn‘t mean anything by it. - Carol turned with a disguised smile
on the corner of her mouth and went about her duties.

The morning was coming to
an end and Amanda had no news from Antônio, getting even more anxious. In order
to help, her assistant had said that he’d probably arrive late in the afternoon
or would be putting his affairs in order since he had been away for days. To
calm her nerves she tried to put this idea in her head and it worked out. But
still she felt great need to share the events with her friend and hear his
advice.

After work, Amanda decided
to put her body and mind to work, so there would not be time to wonder what had
happened to Antônio. So she decided to organize closets, threw away old
magazines on health and beauty. Then she went to her son's bedroom and there
the organization took the rest of the afternoon making her exhausted. After all
was in place, Amanda took a long shower to soothe her body. In her room she
hydrated and wore comfortable clothes and decided to watch some TV in the
living room. Amanda was looking for something interesting when the doorbell
rang. Surprised and hoping it was someone she had yearned for all day, she went
to open the door.

For you! - said Antônio
handing her over a small bouquet of flowers when she opened the door.

Thank you! They’re
beautiful - she thanked him taking the present. - I thought you would not come.
- Amanda complained no matter what he would think.

- Does that mean you
really missed me!? - he said smiling.

- Do you have any doubts? -
She replied with a mocking air.

- Maybe I need some more
convincing, but for now it is ok. - He also led that situation as a distraction
so they would not be embarrassed. - I booked a place at that restaurant we went
to with Carol and her boyfriend. Want to go? - Antônio asked cheerfully.

- Give me a minute to get
dressed! - She asked pointing at the armchair for him to sit in. Amanda went to
her room and got ready quickly. Meanwhile she remembered how her heart beat
fast when she saw Antônio at her door. That connection between them was
strange. They looked like soul mates, but unfortunately or not they were not
about to share a more tender and brotherly love. However, it was extremely good
to feel that misgoverned beating such as one feels when there is passion. Yes
there was a feeling among them, but it was not of the selfish and worldly kind
and feeling and it made a big difference for her.

Ready to leave Amanda
joined him who waited for her in the living room reading one of her fashion
magazines.

- You really like the
subject – remarked Antônio sitting up, but not before noticing the beautiful
woman in front of him.

- I believe that you have
found it in me more than myself. - She remarked smiling.

- Sometimes we need people
in our lives to show us the way. Glad to have helped. - Amanda heard Antônio’s
tender way of speaking. When in your life did you meet a man like that? Never. Maybe
she would not even have that chance again. She needed to take good care of that
friendship and be happy for as long as it was possible.

When they reached the
restaurant both had a huge surprise when faced with Breno accompanied by a
beautiful woman. Amanda tried to disguise her embarrassment not to give the
impression that Antônio was jealous. A lot of times people misunderstand such a
situation and she did not want to make him feel bad.

- If you prefer we can go
somewhere else. - Antônio offered before choosing a table.

- No way. We stay here. -
Amanda replied putting her arm through his. - Now I could understand why Breno
disappeared this week. - The comment left Antonio more at easy. In those days
he had been away he was curious to know if Amanda's ex-husband was disturbing
her.

The waiter took them to a
table nearby Breno and his companion’s and to Amanda's luck, Antônio arranged
so she kept her back to him.

- Today you choose what we
will eat. - Antônio said taking her hands on the table. - Today is one of those
days when we have to perform very well; as you told me Breno does not believe
in our relationship – he said with a glare in his eyes.