Eye Candy (38 page)

“You should go, Danny,”
said Maggie. “Have some time alone with the guys before all the guests start arriving. Before the fireworks begin.”

“
It’ll be fun,” Rory added.

“
Alright, I’ll come. Maggie, will you–”

“
I’ll take excellent care of Candy until you get back. Don’t worry.”

~

The drone of the engine was the only sound, punctuated by waves slapping the hull of Tim’s long white-and-red Baja Bowrider pleasure boat.

Tim drove.

Danny sat in the bow.

Rory sat in the stern.

They reached their destination, within sight of the house, and Tim shut off the engine.

Danny
and Rory merely stared at him.

Tim sighed excessively in exasperation. “
Well this is fun. The three of us really don’t get out enough. Tell you what, you guys haul in the barge while I work on the fuses.”

Rory leaned overboard and took hold of the tow rope. Danny moved to the rear and reached for it as well, and together they began to work hand over hand, pulling on the rope. They tried to establish a rhythm, but mostly each only fought the efforts of the other,
splashing sea water all about.

“Pull harder,”
said Rory. “I’m doing all the work. Candy have you up all night?”

“You would know,”
said Danny, “you and Harley woke the whole house.”

“
See?” Rory said to Tim. “They’re not even married yet and she’s already causing problems.”

“
Don’t blame Candy for this,” said Danny. “Besides, you’re the expert in troubled marriages.”

“
Fuck you!”

“Guys!”
Tim moved to the stern and inserted himself between Rory and Danny. “Finish the fuses, Rory. I’ll help Danny with the barge.”

Rory opened the cooler and withdrew a beer. He chugged it, tossed the empty can on the deck, and opened another.

“Great,” said Tim. “
Three men die in alcohol-related fireworks explosion. Film at eleven.
”

Rory belched.

Danny faced Tim. “Why did you tell Rory about my proposal plans? I told you he would respond this way.”

“
Because he asked me. And under the circumstances, I felt he should know.”

“What circumstances?”

Tim turned to Rory. “Should we tell him?”

“
What the hell difference would it make? He’s in
love
.”

“
Look, Rory,” said Danny, “I’m really sorry we fell in love with the same girl. But Candy loves me.”

“
She said that?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“
Last night. You’re just going to have to find your own girl, because I’m not going to lose this one. Under any circumstances. Don’t make me choose.”

“
You’re really going to marry her?”

“Yes, I am. I’
m going to ask her, anyway. I pray to God that she says yes.”

“You truly love her?”
Rory asked.

“
More than life itself.”

“And Candy loves you?”

“She told me last night that she does.”

Rory turned to Tim.
“It’s impossible.”

“You don’t know that,”
said Tim.

“
It’s
impossible
,” said Rory. He turned back to Danny. “There’s no way she can love you.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because . . . because she’s a machine,” said Rory. “She’s a robot.”

~

Danny studied Rory. “What?”

“
She’s a robot. We built her. Me and Tim and Mr. C. She’s company property. You and Candy are the subjects in the world’s most expensive robotics-slash-sociology experiment.”

“
What?”

“She’s a robot.”

Danny stared at Rory. “You’re insane.”

“
No, I’m being honest. She—it—is a machine. A damned good one but still just a machine. We built her—it. Me and Tim and Mr. Cherrolet.”

“
And Larry,” Tim added. “Larry helped.”

“Larry
the jaywalker who ate cat and shit himself?” asked Danny.

“
Yes.”

“This is a joke, right?”
Danny pleaded.

“
It’s not a joke,” said Tim.

“
You were only supposed to go on a few dates,” said Rory, “so we could see how she behaved. And we didn’t know she was going out with
you
. Talk about a small world. She was supposed to meet some loser who would buy her dinner and try to get into her pants, and then go home none the wiser that he just tried to screw a robot. But somehow she found you. And you sure as shit weren’t supposed to fall in love with her.”

“
Was she supposed to fall in love with me?”

“
Absolutely not. We needed to see how the systems would respond in a real-world environment, but we never anticipated this. Things have gone way too far. It needs to be deactivated.”

“
It?”

“
It’s a machine, Danny,” said Tim. “That’s all. You weren’t even supposed to meet her. When she told me she was going out with a guy she met online, we had no idea it was you.”

“
You guys are starting to scare me,” said Danny. “This is crazy. She can’t be not real. She eats, she sleeps. She laughs, she cries. She has orgasms.”

“She had an orgasm?”
Rory asked. “I thought you hadn’t had sex yet.”

“We haven’t. But we’ve done other stuff.”

Tim asked, “So her genitalia were . . . believable?”

“
I don’t know. I haven’t gotten that far yet.”

“Then how did it reach climax?”
asked Rory.

“I was kissing her breasts,”
said Danny. “And stop calling her ‘it’.”

Rory turned to Tim.
“Sexual arousal and climax without direct genital stimulation? Did you even know it could do that?” Rory turned back to Danny without waiting for Tim’s answer. “Danny, I know this is a shock and that you don’t know what to think or what to feel, and it’s perfectly understandable that you’re a little freaked out right now because you banged, or almost banged, a robot. But tell me, from a purely scientific view, what did you think of her tits?”

“You pig.”

“What, it’s a legitimate question! I designed those tits and I’d like to know how they function. Did they feel real?”

Danny sighed.
“Yes, they felt real. They were perfect.”

Rory beamed. He turned to Tim.
“And you said they were too big.”

Danny sat down hard on the side of the boat.
“This really isn’t a joke?”

“
No, man,” said Rory. “It’s not a joke.”

“
How can this possibly be true? She’s an adult woman. She’s a robopsychologist. I’ve seen her diplomas. What about her office? She has clients. What about Susannah?”

“
The office and the clients are real. Susannah is a real receptionist. As far as we know, she has no idea her boss is a robot.”

Danny shook his head.
“Candy told me about her childhood. About her lemonade stand.”

“The lemonade stand came from Harley,”
said Tim. “Implanted in Candy’s memory. Along with a bunch of other stuff we simply made up.”

“
But she’s so real. Her body. Her hair. Her skin. She has the softest skin.”

“Larry
grew her skin,” said Tim.

“She really had an orgasm?”
asked Rory.

Danny nodded.

“Wow.”

“
You didn’t know she could do that?” Danny asked.

“We hypothesized,”
said Tim. “But we never. . . .”

“
What was it like?” Rory asked. “As a scientist, I’d really like to know.”

“Forget it.”

“Was it more than once?”

“I said forget it.”

“Please, Danny,” said Tim. “I know this is a lot to take, but try to look at it from our perspective. Candy is the culmination of our life’s work. Mr. C. has put a lot of money into this project. A lot of money. If this works, if the iCandy project is a success, it will change robotics forever. I’m sorry things got so out of control. And I’m sorry that we’ve basically taken a giant shit on your plans for matrimony and a life lived happily ever after. But it’s best that you find out now, rather than later. It’ll hurt less this way.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Tim shrugged.

“Does she know she’s a robot?”
Danny asked.

“
Of course not,” said Tim. “That would completely undermine the very purpose of the experiment.”

Danny turned to Rory.
“What about you, you sick bastard?”

“What about me?”

“You knew she was a robot and you still fell in love?”

“
That is pretty twisted, huh?”

Danny reached into the cooler and grabbed a cold beer.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Tim asked.

“
What are you guys going to do now?” Danny countered. “Are you going to deactivate her?”

Tim and Rory locked eyes.

Finally, Rory spoke.

“
I think we need to talk to Mr. C.”

“
Don’t do anything yet,” said Danny. “I need some time to think. Okay?”

Rory and Tim looked at each other once more.

Tim gave the slightest of nods.

“
Fine,” said Rory.

Chapter 29

Fireworks

Danny paced around the bedroom.

He stopped and looked out the window.

Down on the beach, the party was underway. Danny estimated approximately fifty people on the beach, and more were arriving as he watched.

The sun would set within the hour. Maggie’s impressive dinner buffet was nearly assembled. Nik and Tim were lighting the chafing dishes. Two robotic bartenders were busy preparing cocktails at dizzying speed. The appetizers table had been hit hard and more guests were finding their way toward it with fresh drinks in hand. Danny counted fifteen round tables with ten chairs each. The tables were set with white linen and fine silver, and each table boasted an impressive centerpiece pulsing with red, white, and blue lights. Maggie and Tim had certainly gone all out.

Danny spotted Candy near the appetizer table. Harley stood beside her. Candy was motioning with her hand, gliding it through the air. Harley then did the same, rolling her hand inverted. Clearly they were discussing their rides in the Viper
Jet, comparing notes. That wasn’t good. But they were laughing and smiling. They seemed to be having a good time.

Hertz and Volta meandered among the tables, saying hello by brushing against people.

As Danny watched, Susannah arrived. She and Candy hugged, then Candy introduced her to Harley, and they shook hands.

Danny glanced over his shoulder at his suitcase. The ring box was inside it. He pulled at his hair with both fists. He loo
ked out the window at Candy. He’d mostly avoided her since returning from the boat with Tim and Rory. Candy had kissed him several times. He’d been acutely aware of the softness of her lips against his, of her tongue in his mouth. Had it felt different? Her lips felt more or less the same. Didn’t they?

Danny looked once more at the suitcase.

He faced the window again. Harley had her hands on her breasts, shifting them slightly. Candy then did the same to her own breasts. Then Susannah did the same. They were getting on well. 

Moments later, Rory arrived with Floyd and Howard in tow. Rory made the introductions. Harley gave Howard a high-five. Floyd and Susannah shook hands at length, smiling all the while.

Everyone in Danny’s party had arrived. He would have to join them soon.

Harley began speaking with Howard, and Danny realized many guests had brought their robots to the party. The day had finally come when robots were as ubiquitous as mobile telephones.

Tim arrived with four additional guests. At first, they appeared to be robots, but something about them was different, the way they walked and moved, the pallor of their skin in the late afternoon light, for two of them were shirtless. The third had four arms, and the fourth was quite tall and his arms were massive. All four bore the easy fluidity of human beings, but their eyes glowed bright red. Then Danny recognized them: the Red Hot Cyborg Players, from Club C/Fe.