Eyes of Ember (Imdalind Series #2) (28 page)

I thought for sure I would have shattered his heart
. But instead, the radical light that seemed to be emanating off of him grew, his magic flaring within me until I could feel it push against my barrier. His smile grew and he pulled me back into him, his arms wrapping me tightly to him.

“I know, Joclyn. I know it doesn’t change anything.
I know I can never have you. And I am alright with that, you are still a child after all. I expect nothing from you. But hearing you say it, even if it is only this once, that is enough for me. I can live the rest of my life knowing that you love me, even if nothing else will come of it.”

Ilyan sighed heavily and I felt his tears fall
against my skin, my own not far behind. I could still vividly recall his heartbreak as he talked to my Father, his longing as he watched the images of us, the images that would never be. I wanted to soothe him, my soul longing to heal those pains.

“You are not alone, Ilyan,” I whispered
. “Not anymore.”

“Thank you, Joclyn
.” I buried my face into his chest, his warmth and his heartbeat surrounding me.

My heart
swelled at the comfort he gave me. Thom was right, I needed someone to help me to hold the weight. And here, in Ilyan’s arms, I actually felt stronger – like I could accomplish anything. And even though nothing could ever happen between us, I knew the devotion we held for each other would be enough.

Until the day I died.

Ilyan did not move from my side all night. We lay in each other’s arms until we drifted off to sleep. Ilyan was there when I awoke from yet another of my nightmares, his song softly lulling me back to sleep. I woke the next morning with his arms around me, our legs intertwined comfortably.

I knew I
should move away. I knew it was wrong for us to be lying like this, but I didn’t care.

I looked
over Ilyan’s still sleeping body and smiled, he was so calm. I could feel his magic’s strong presence in my shoulder, the gentle lull of it as small tendrils weaved throughout my body. I knew that he was here for me no matter what. If the sight had not given me enough proof, what I was feeling now was more than enough

I sighed heavily and
shifted a bit, cursing my sore joints that creaked and fought me. I hadn’t entered the Tȍuha yesterday because of the sight, so today would be a miserable day. Unless... I was stronger now I could face it.

I pulled the necklace out from underneath my torn shirt and let it rest in
my hands. I knew whatever I found inside would not be pleasant, but even a quick trip would help my body and then I may not have to worry about it for a few days.

I grasped Ilyan’s hand tightly in my own and leaned into him again before I pushed my magic into
the necklace, closing my eyes to enter the Tȍuha.

It was
all the same – the same kitchen, the same mold, the same deathly silent space. My heart beat erratically as I stood alone in the middle of it, suddenly terrified about what was going to happen. I didn’t know if Ryland would do something to shove me out or if ‘the dark-eyed man’ that Ryland had told me about could find me here. Either way, I needed as much time as possible here.

I moved further into the kitchen before ducking down and sliding myself underneath the counter by the bar stools. My knees slipped on rotting food and a couple of small mice scurried away
, but I barely took notice.

Had it come to this? Had the Tȍuha really become just vessels for energy? I was hiding underneath a counter, amongst garbage, terrified about what was going to happen
in this place that joined me to my mate. Ryland’s voice echoed in my head, his promise to break the Zȇlství, his gentle words begging me to do the same.

And yet here I sat, hiding from him, just so I could keep the connection
without wasting away. It seemed ridiculous, even to me. What was I doing? I felt my eyes burn with the threat of tears. My emotions were too close to the surface after last night.

“I thought I told you not to come!” Ryland
yelled.

I
could not see his face, only his foot as he attempted to kick me. I was sure the contact would send me back so I dodged it, scrambling through rotten food and broken glass, sending barstools side-long into the kitchen.

“Get out of here!”
he yelled as he chased after me.

“
Please leave me alone, Ryland. I will leave in a minute,” I begged as I continued to crawl away, my hands and knees covered with filth and dirt.

“No one wants you
here anymore!” Ryland yelled again. I looked back to him as I reached the end of the counter, my stomach dropping to see his angry little body swinging a bar stool right toward my face.

I
t made contact and I howled out in pain, the impact sending me right out of the Tȍuha. I sat up automatically, my hand flying to my nose. Pain had never followed me like this before, not like it did with the nightmares. Even with the nightmares I was never truly injured. In the Tȍuha, however, it seemed that I could be.

I lifted my hand to my nose, hoping to add some pressure to my magic and
help the injury to heal faster. I froze when my fingers touched the warm wetness of my own blood, which seeped from the gash in my face. I stared at the blood on my fingers, my breath coming faster than usual.

“Joclyn?
” Ilyan asked softly. My panic had obviously woken him up. He placed his hand on my back, rubbing up and down my spine in a comforting way. “Are you okay?”

“I’m bleeding.” I
spoke like it barely even mattered, my shock still seeping in.

Ilyan was up in a flash, one arm wrapped around me while the other held my hand before moving to inspect my face. His fingers pushed softly against the skin, his face filled with deep worry lines.

“What happened?” Ilyan asked.

“Ryland threw a chair at me.”

Ilyan froze, his hand still pressed against my face. I felt his other hand tighten against my hip, his magic swelling in frustration.

“In the Tȍuha?”
The heavy restraint he placed on his words made me tense.

“He has become very aggressive in getting me out of the
m.” I said and looked away from him.

“But... to hurt you?” Ilyan’s fingers pressed against the bridge of my nose, his magic healing me quicker
then I could heal myself.

“
I’m not sure it’s coming from him.” I looked up at Ilyan as I felt the skin knit back together, the red tips of his fingers moving away from the tender skin. He raised his eyebrow at me, prompting me to continue. I swallowed hard, worried as to how he would respond.

“Cail made it very obvious that he is in control of my dreams
. I think he is manipulating the Tȍuha as well.” I picked at the hairs of the furs we were covered with, uninterested in looking at him.

“What!” Ilyan’s voice echoed around the cav
e and I cringed a bit and moved away from him, but he only moved me back against him. “Has he hurt you?” His magic surged strongly into me as if expecting hundreds of broken bones.

“No, he
likes to mess with my head, but I don’t know what else to do. I have to go into the Tȍuha. And I can’t control if the dreams come or not.”

Ilyan’s body stiffened,
his panic seeping into me. I could tell that my new injury, mixed with the fact that Cail was controlling my dreams, was terrifying to him. I had been worried before, but hearing his shallow breathing against my hair, the worry was building into fear.

“I only went in once while you were gone
,” I said as I pulled away from him, desperate to calm him down.

“How long was I gone?” he asked
, his voice soft.

“Three days.” Ilyan’s hand moved down my face to lift my chin up to look at him.

“And the nightmares?” I looked away from him, not wanting to be reminded of the horrors I had been faced with. “I will fix this. I will make the Tȍuha safe for you to go into. I will never let it happen again.”

I pulled his hand away from my face, holding onto his fingers tightly. I still couldn’t believe that he was alright, that he was awake.

“Thank you,” I said. “I can’t do this without you.”

Ilyan pulled me against him, his hand still wrapped around mine. “I know.”

He held me against him, his heart beating in my ear. I traced his scars with my free hand, his grip pressing me against his chest.

“I will never leave you
,” he whispered in my ear, before he kissed my mark. The jolt I had felt only twice before shot through my body. I stiffened at the sensation, looking up to Ilyan in a panic.

“You feel it too?” His voice was awed, which somehow made me worry more.

“Yes. I felt it before, when you... in the sight, I mean...” I let my voice trail off uncomfortably, unsure of how to phrase it.

“You felt it then?” Ilyan’s voice was quiet
and unsure. I had never heard him without his confidence, it was somewhat endearing. “I have always wondered – since that day all those centuries ago – I always wondered if you felt it too. If you heard what I said.”

I nodded once, his face relaxing, his confidence almost instantly returning. It was interesting,
every time I saw that hidden side of him, it was like I was seeing the real him.

“I did. I heard every word.” He smiled again and I looked away, unsure if I wanted to talk about this.

“I meant every word,” he whispered. “I will always love you, but I will never force you to be with me. I will never stop you from being with Ryland. He is your mate, Joclyn. I will always respect that.”

Ilyan gently placed his hand against my face,
and lifted me to meet his eyes. He looked at me softly, his eyes full of the golden specks of light I had seen before.

“Thank you
, Ilyan.”

“Of course,” Ilyan let his finger trail up my jaw to rest on the mark on my neck, the jolt
shooting through my body again. Ilyan smiled, I am not sure he could help it.

“
Ilyan, what does it mean?” He only shook his head, his face confused and yet so hopeful.

“It means,” Dramin began from behind us, his voice making me jump
, “that the Silnỳ has come to accept what you mean to her, My Lord.”

Ilyan turned at Dramin’s arrival, his face breaking out into a wide smile. Dramin returned the smile as he set down a heavily laden breakfast tray before embracing
him.

“Welcome back
, my old friend,” Dramin said. “It is so nice to see you alive and well. You had us worried.”

“I highly doubt that,” Ilyan chuckled, “
but thank you for taking care of me and Joclyn. I cannot thank you enough.”

He clapped Dramin heavily on the shoulder, but
Dramin only looked at me curiously.

“So, Joclyn, is it? That is a very pretty name.”
He smiled and I instantly felt awkward. I hadn’t realized I never told them my name.

Ilyan looked at me, his eyebrow
s raising in confusion.

“They never asked.” I
reached out to grab a mug out of Dramin’s hands in an attempt to ignore the look he was giving me.

The cup had made it only half way to my lips before Ilyan hollered out and hit the cup hard. It sped away from me, spilling
the delicious Black Water all over the floor.

“Stop! Joclyn! Do you know what that is?” I turned to Ilyan, my stomach tensing in realization.
There was something he didn’t know after all.

“Oh,” I said, nerves wiggling into me. I turned to Dramin who nodded to me once in encouragement.

I said nothing as I grabbed the empty mug off of the floor and placed my hand over the rim. I felt it fill instantly. I took a deep breath before removing my hand; I knew there would be no easy way to tell him.

“Yes, Ilyan, I know exactly what it is.” I spoke as plainly as I could, trying to ignore the nerves that filled me
and the terrified look on Ilyan’s face as I took a drink from the rich Black Water. I felt it move into me, tingling me to the very core. I sighed appreciatively and turned back to Ilyan, smiling shyly.