Fade (16 page)

her thigh. “I"ll just get that on later. Hey, you know, lighten up already,

princess,” he says, tilting his head quizzically. “Your type is supposed to

get plastered at these kinds of parties. You know, free booze.” He leans

in and sniffs her neck. “You smell terrific,” he says. He rests his sweaty

head on her shoulder.

My type?
Janie burns. She can"t help it. She wants to kick Mr. Wang"s

ass. “Jesus Christ,” she mutters. “You wanna know what the trailer trash

like, huh, Chris?”

“Not all the trailer trash. Just you.” He"s slurring his words.

“Wait right here for me, then,” she says, shrugging Mr. Wang"s head off

her shoulder and trying to hold in her disgust. “I"ll be back.”

“Oh yeah,” he says, grinning happily.

ı

Janie mingles her way to the bathroom with her untouched punch and

stands in line. By the time she gets in there, she hears the clumping of a

dozen feet coming up the stairs. Mr. Durbin"s explaining boisterously

that somebody"s gotta be the one to start eating, because the girls aren"t

doing it. She locks herself in the bathroom and does the drink test again.

Spreads the drop of punch on the paper.

Waits thirty seconds.

Watches it change to bright blue.

Her stomach lurches.

Rooffies.

She dumps the punch into the toilet, and flushes. Searches through the drawers and cupboards for bottles of liquid, powder, or pills. Finds nothing. Janie could call in the cops now, she

knows. But she doesn"t have proof that it was Mr. Durbin who did it.

What if one of the other students brought it in? If Janie can find the

drugs, it"ll help even more in prosecuting the bastard. She remembers

the last case, how frustrated Cabel and Captain were when Baker and

Cobb busted the drug scene before Cabel could get the location of the

cocaine. Janie wants proof. Wants to get this done right.
It’s still
early
,

she thinks as she rifles through Mr. Durbin"s things.
I can find it.
Heads across the hall and searches the bedroom. Slips into the other

bedroom and searches it, too. Nothing, nothing.
Back downstairs
, she

thinks.

It"s hot, and Janie"s really thirsty now. She takes a sip from the beer in

her hand. It"s flat and warm. But it"ll have to do. Captain won"t blame

her for trying to stay hydrated, will she? After all, Janie"s just being

smart. She knows from experience that she can easily handle two beers

without it affecting her.

Janie eases past a few guys standing in the kitchen and heads to the

basement. The TV and lights are all on. But everyone is upstairs now.

She hopes they stay that way. She slips into the dark room with the lab

table, and peers at the labels, moving the big items to search for smaller

containers. She doesn"t see what she"s looking for. Frustrated, she turns

and goes back upstairs. Dumps out the rest of her stale beer. Grabs a

fresh one from the refrigerator and a paper plate from the food table.

She loads up her plate, taking a long, thirsty swig of her beer between

the meatballs and the veggie tray.
It’s gotta be here somewhere
, she

thinks.
Maybe Durbin’s bedroom? But the door’s closed, and it’s
right

off the great room. I’d be seen. And what if he’s in there?

Janie shoves half a meatball in her mouth, and chews. Delicious. She

noshes on a carrot stick, and moves toward the great room. Finds a place

in the crowd to stand and eat. Thinking. Thinking hard. People are out of control.

She munches, eyes like slits, looking for Mr. Durbin and Mr. Wang. The

roar of voices is growing stronger every minute. The music grows steadily louder.

She concentrates on her watch. Makes her eyes focus. 11:08

p.m.

11:09 p.m.

Squeezes between two guys with her plate of food and her beer, and

discovers what they are so engrossed in watching. Janie stares at the scene. She"s feeling the effects of the beer, even

though she only sipped a little from the first and drank half of the second.

Still, she"s dying of thirst and doesn"t dare to drink anything else. She

chugs down the rest of this beer, and then eats quickly, knowing she still

has work to do. Knowing things are getting a little crazy. She glances at the punch bowl. Nearly empty. Students are sprawled

around the room, sitting on one anothers" laps, making out. A few are

sitting alone, a vacant, dazed look on their faces. And in the middle of

the room, where everyone else"s eyes are riveted, Mr. Wang and Stacey

O"Grady are dirty dancing. Very dirty. Mr. Wang"s shirt is off, and his

muscles bulge and shine with sweat. Janie"s eyes wander over his body,

and she is surprised to find him suddenly, strangely, attractive. Stacey is completely toasted. She can hardly stand up. Janie reminds

herself to keep an eye on her. People are slurping the dregs of the punch,

like it"s a desert oasis. Mr. Durbin comes from the kitchen with more.

Janie lets her eyes wander lazily as she eats. She"s feeling tired. Mellow.

The guys who aren"t otherwise occupied head back downstairs, tripping

and shoving their way to the TV. Janie"s head is buzzing now, and she"s

surprised—she"s only really had one beer. She should eat more, she tells

herself, to stop the buzz.

Back in the kitchen, she loads up her plate a second time, head starting

to spin. She leans against the counter, hoping it will pass. And then she stops.

A distant thought—a nudge. Something she was about to do. She pictures it.

Looks up on top of the refrigerator.

A can of paint stripper.

A bottle of Red Devil Lye.

That’s…something
, she thinks, screwing her eyes shut, trying to concentrate. But her brain isn"t working right.
That’s…that’s it.
She

knows she needs to remember it, but now she can"t imagine why. Janie"s buzzing hard now, and she"s not sure she likes it. She sits down

on the floor and digs into the food, trying to stop spinning, finish the

food on her plate, feeling sleepy.
Gotta call…
The thought pops into her

head, but leaves again just as quickly. Someone trips over her leg, and

Janie drags her body up off the floor and stands, and then tries to remember why she stood up at all. She shakes her head, attempting to

clear her mind, and gets dizzy, nearly falls, bumping into somebody else

who looks vaguely familiar. She laughs at herself and remembers what

she has to do. She picks up her plate and throws it in the garbage can.

Two points.

Her skin is tingling as she wanders around, checking out the students on

the couches who are in various stages of pre-sex. Janie watches them

curiously. And then she thinks maybe she"s in somebody"s dream. She

stumbles around the great room, knowing that if she really is in somebody else"s dream, no one else can see her. Stacey and Mr. Wang

are gone. Too bad, because Janie wanted to watch them dance some

more.

ı

Twelve something in the morning. Janie"s eyes linger on the clock, not

quite comprehending the position of the hands.

There"s a sudden ruckus in the room, and Janie rouses herself, trying to

remember where she is and why she is there. She stands up from the

floor, wondering how she got there in the first place. Mr. Durbin is standing by the door, handing Coach Crater a drink. Crater drinks it

down in one shot, and Janie is impressed. He"s cute, too, she thinks. And

she is still so thirsty. She wanders to the kitchen, looks in the refrigerator,

and sees her dessert. “Hey,” she says, her tongue feeling strangely thick.

“I should set that out.” She reaches for it, misses on the first try, but gets

it on the next one—after serious concentration. And someone is touching

her bum.

She stands up and sets the dessert on the counter, so she doesn"t drop it.

“Whoa,” she says, laughing.

“Mm,” says Mr. Durbin. “Here, I brought you something to drink. You

look thirsty.”
He’s slurring his words too
, thinks Janie. It must be his

dream. Janie remembers that she should be glad to be in Mr. Durbin"s

dream, but she can"t remember why.

She smiles gratefully. “Thank you so much,” she gushes, and holds up

the cup, feeling like there might be something she"s supposed to know

about it, but her thirst overwhelms her. “Is everything tipping just a little

bit in here?” she asks, laughing like it"s the funniest thing she"s thought

of all day, and then puts the cup to her lips. The punch slides down her

throat, cooling it. “I thought all the punch was gone. Mm, oh god. That"s

so yummy,” she says.

And then Mr. Durbin"s pushing her back against the counter and kissing

her, and she"s feeling his hot tongue on hers. She starts kissing him back,

because that"s what feels right. The fuzziness in her brain grows.

“I gotta go…,” she says suddenly, pulling away.

“No, you don"t have to go.”

“I mean, to the bathroom,” she says seriously.

“There"s one in my bedroom,” he says, his eyes hungry.

“Oh, cool. Do you still have that porn magazine in there?” Janie hesitates too late, wondering if she was supposed to say that, but she

can"t remember why she shouldn"t.

“Lots of them,” he says. “Not that I need them with you here.”

“Huh.” She follows him through the dazed and half-naked crowd. He

stops to grab another glass of punch, and gives her another one too. On

the way to Mr. Durbin"s bedroom, Janie waves at Coach Crater.

“Hey,”

she says, turning back to Mr. Durbin. “Wasn"t Stacey here?

Before?”

“She"s still here, Janie.” His words are deliberate, like he"s concentrating.

“She"s fucking Chris in the other bedroom, so we can fuck in here.” His

words sound like slow-motion, matter of fact, and Janie is certain she"s

in his dream now.

ı

He shows her to the bathroom, and she decides maybe she should close

the door, even though she doesn"t feel like it. It"s so much work. But

that"s weird, because if it"s Mr. Durbin"s dream, why would she be in a

room where she can"t see him?

She sits down on the toilet, her head heavy. Something seems wrong, but

she doesn"t know what it is. She sits there for a long time, in a half-dream. She almost falls asleep, she"s feeling so warm and mellow.

And in her mind, she"s whirling through memories that pop in and out of

her brain.

She hears a knocking sound, far away.

“Just go home, Carrie,” she mumbles.

She can"t seem to open her eyes.

She leans to the right, and there"s a cool, comfortable wall to rest her

cheek on.

There is another knocking sound. But this one turns into a car"sengine knock, and Stacey"s driving. There"s going to be a man coming any

second from the backseat, Janie remembers, and then he"s there, gripping Stacey around the neck.
His hands are sexy
, she thinks.

“Come on, Janie, don"t be shy,” she hears from far away, and Janie

rouses herself.

“What?” she says.

“Come on out, sweetheart. We"re all waiting for you.”

It must be Cabel. He sleeps a lot. And then she remembers she"s sitting

on the toilet, and she chuckles silently to herself and finishes up. She drinks a long drink from the bathroom tap. She"s so thirsty. She

wants milk. Milk always makes her feel stronger. She turns to leave, but

the door is gone. It"s just a wall now.

She scratches her head.

Looks around.

Laughs.

It"s on the other wall.

Stumbling, Janie bumps against the door, trying to push it, and finally

tries pulling it. It opens, and Mr. Durbin is on the bed. There are three

girls from class with him, and he"s taking their clothes off as they lie

there.

Janie finds this fascinating.

But now she remembers that she wants milk, so she walks carefully out

of the bedroom, trying not to bang into anything. Mr. Wang is standing by the slider door in his underwear, letting the

cool air inside the house. “That feels great,” Janie says. She breathes it

in.

It smells like cigarette smoke.

She stands there, spinning. There it is again. That thing that feels funny.

Coach Crater comes down the hallway toward them, as Janie tries to

remember why she came to the kitchen.

“Hey, there you are, Buffy,” he says.

Surprisingly he"s wearing jeans and a shirt, although his shirt is open

and his chest hair shows.

Janie looks around. Walks back to look in the great room. Everyone is

practically naked.
How bizarre
, she thinks, and goes back to feel the

cold air again.

And then Coach Crater grabs her by the shoulders and turns her toward

him. He plants a big wet kiss on her mouth. And moves on. He"s tripping as he walks to get more punch.

She remembers that she doesn"t think she likes him. But maybe that"s

not really true.

ı

It"s so hard to decide what is true.

ı

She smells more cigarette smoke, and she has an urge to go outside to

have a cigarette. So she goes to the door.

Outside on the deck, it"s dark. Mr. Wang follows her out there, in his

Calvin Klein briefs. Janie breathes in the cold air. She holds on tightly to

the railing when Mr. Wang starts touching her. “I smelled smoke,”