Fading Darkness (Bloodmarked #1) (19 page)

“Oops,” she said, as she looked at me with
an evil eye.

“Awfully clumsy for a vampire,” I said
sourly. I heard Gavin’s low chuckle in my ear.

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently
before glancing back at me, “Are you ready to get out of here?”

“I guess so. I wouldn’t mind sobering up and
getting some senses back,” I slurred a little even as I spoke slowly.

His laughter returned, and it was nice to
see the smile back on his face. He wrapped an arm around my waist again, and I
accepted the extra support. Every step I took felt like it could lead me head
first into the floor. Balance was extremely difficult to come by at the moment.
I slipped my arm under his and around his waist to hold on.

We had to stop in the hallway so I could
make a bathroom trip, but once outside, the cold air felt refreshing on my
face, and I immediately felt my senses fighting to come back to me. I heard
footsteps back in the hallway, coming toward us. The two guys that hassled us
earlier burst through the door, and I turned to see them stalking our way.

“Hey! Where you going, baby?” one of them
called.

“Yeah, I thought we were going to have some
fun,” the other said.

I wanted to kick the shit out of them, but I
was worried I wouldn’t have as much control over my power while inebriated.
They were still human after all, and I could still kill them. I tried walking
away with Gavin, but he was hesitating. I almost saw the internal debate being
played out in his head all over his face. He struggled until I finally slurred,
“Come on. They’re not worth it.”

“What did you just say, bitch?” the taller
one said.

“I said you’re nothing to me, so back off.
I’m not interested. A guy like you should recognize rejection from past
experience, so take the hint,” I said, but looking back, it probably wasn’t the
best way to avoid confrontation because it only pissed them both off.

“I’ve got something for that mouth of
yours,” said tool number one as he adjusted himself, grabbing the crotch of his
pants where his junk was supposed to be. As far as I could tell, there was
nothing there.

I guess it was hard to stack up when he was
in the general vicinity of a very well-endowed vampire, from what I’ve
unintentionally observed. My eyes may have slipped from time to time, but it
wasn’t my fault he was seriously packing. I felt my cheeks flush and decided I
needed to focus.

The first douche bag was approaching, and
Gavin sidestepped me to block him from getting his ass kicked by me. I wasn’t
sure which one of us would be more dangerous at the moment- me, drunk and
unable to control my inhuman power, or Gavin, an unstable vampire whose prone
to bipolar-esque mood swings, especially when it came to my safety. It was
funny that I often wished for death, but he fought so hard to keep me alive,
even though I currently was not in harm’s way.

I stepped back around Gavin as the guy
pulled a knife on him. He swung the knife while I clumsily moved to block him.
The world was swaying, and I missed the block just briefly as the knife came
around me and plunged into Gavin’s side. It happened so quickly, and my
reaction time was closer to that of a real human being than my usual self. I
heard a blood-curdling scream before realizing it was me. My hands flew to
cover my mouth.

After that poor performance, I sat the rest
of the fight out, allowing Gavin to curl an arm around my waist swirling me
behind him. He deposited me on my own feet abruptly and let go. My world was
spinning enough at the moment, and the added motion made me fall to my hands
and knees.

When I was able to right myself, I turned to
see what had become of the fight, and saw Gavin holding the second tool by the
neck high above him while the other lied unconscious ten feet from him in a
crumpled mess by the bar entrance.

“Gavin, he’s not worth it,” I said with
panic creeping into my voice. “Drop him.” I focused my eyes more and saw the
darkness in his with pure hatred showing on his face. His jaw was still
clenched, and I imagined if he spoke, the pressure of keeping what little
control he had left would snap, along with the neck he held in a firm grip.
“Please,” I whispered pleadingly.

The tension in his jaw seemed to dissipate,
and the darkness faded. He released his grasp, and the guy fell to the ground
choking. He looked up at Gavin like he was the Grim Reaper himself and wasted
no time scurrying off in the opposite direction.

Gavin finally turned to me then. He walked
toward me, leaning to take hold of my hand. He pulled me up, supporting my
weight easily with both hands around my arms.

Looking directly into my eyes, he said, “You
are going to be the death of me, woman.”

A wave of guilt passed through me
remembering it was my fault he got stabbed. “Are you alright?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” he said, and I still felt some
of the tension rolling off him.

He walked me back to my apartment in
silence, well, in almost silence. I began to wonder why I was supposed to hate
the man next to me. It was harder to remember my original reasons at the moment.
Right now, I couldn’t see anything bad or wrong about him. As soon as the
question came to mind the words left my mouth. “Do you think I’m beautiful?”

I was looking up at him struggling to keep
my eye lids open wide enough to see his sidelong glance. “Painfully
breathtaking. I’m surprised the mere sight of you hasn’t sent any mortal boys
to their graves,” he said, smiling.

“Excellent line,” I slurred, focusing back
on the sidewalk in front of my feet. Even drunk I could pick out lame pickup
lines, but coming from him, it sounded good and still sent a thrill through me.
Normally it would have made me mad, but I only felt relief in hearing his
response. A smile crept across my face, and we resumed our silence for the
remaining six blocks.

With his support, I safely made it into my
bedroom without stumbling. I searched the cluttered space for anything too
embarrassing, or revealing, like bras and underwear. Luckily, the mess was too
ambiguous to decipher one article of clothing from the next. The room was small
and his scent seemed to be all around me.

I turned to look up into his eyes. My head
was so foggy with intoxication, and the image of him was all that broke through
the cloudiness. His gaze was heated and intense, causing my breath to catch.

Without another thought I said, “Did you
ever stop hating yourself?”

His eyes softened before he responded,
“Yes.”

I knew he was answering the real question I
was asking but couldn’t verbalize. I wondered if it would ever be possible for
me, especially after seeing him do it. I blinked rapidly trying to shake off
some of the intensity. My eyes dropped and caught on the spot of blood on his
white thermal shirt.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I said a bit
flustered. “I should look at that. Do you need blood or something?” I asked,
reaching for his shirt. I lifted the shirt, ruching it in my fists and searched
his side with my hand, looking for some sort of wound.

He stood silently watching me, analyzing me,
and probably wondering if I was going crazy. “You know you’re not going to find
anything,” he said wrapping a hand around the wrist of my wandering hand.

He was right. I knew there wouldn’t be a
wound to find, or even a scar, but the logical part of me struggled to avoid
getting closer to the truth about myself, and more importantly, acceptance of
myself. I clung to something that was more in the moment, until I realized this
was an even trickier subject.

My hands were still on his abs, and I looked
back up to his eyes with panic. I didn’t know what to think any more. It was too
difficult battling the different sides of me. I may not have known what I was,
human, monster, good, evil, but I did know that I just wanted to be in the
moment, and not have to think about anything. I wanted to feel like the woman
his eyes were seeing because right now, his eyes said I was someone worth
wanting. They said I was something important, something special, and I think
they might have been saying something slightly inappropriate that probably
shouldn’t be spoken aloud.

I stopped thinking and let my body take
control. Standing on my tip toes, I craned my neck until my lips reached his.
He was hesitant at first as my lips softly brushed against his. He responded
with the lightest touch, completing the kiss. I let mine linger on his a moment
to soak up the sensations pulsing through my entire body. There was a sharp
tingling sensation that spread through my lips, making me crave more contact.

I pulled back an inch, and my eyes shot up
to meet his. That look told me it wouldn’t take much more convincing to show
him this wasn’t just some test. He was still holding back as if I would kick
his ass for responding to the kiss at any second.

“What? Don’t tell me you’ve gone shy on me
now,” I whispered against his lips.

“What happened to keeping things
professional?” he asked with barely contained amusement.

“I think that option was taken off the table
when you took me to a bar and got me drunk.”

“Well, you had fun, didn’t you?” he asked,
eagerly awaiting my answer.

“Is that what tonight was about? Trying to
get me to have fun, trying to get me to be more human?” I guessed. I had my
suspicions about his intentions. “Because it doesn’t matter at this point. I’ve
already seen too much and know too much about the world to just give up and get
a life. There are still too many people that need saving, so even if I did want
more human experiences, I can’t have them. And it’s just better to not want
them.”

“Hmph. I may be getting through to you after
all,” he said, contemplatively.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You said, ‘there were too many people to
save,’ not that there were too many monsters to kill or that you owe too much
of yourself,” he said, mocking my usual sentiments. “There’s hope for you yet,
woman. Being human isn’t always about living a normal life with normal
experiences. It’s about feeling things, too, like caring, compassion,
selflessness. If I can give you moments like tonight that help you realize some
of those feelings then I will,” he said, unapologetically. “Maybe, minus the
alcohol next time.”

“Ha, yeah. Probably a good idea,” I said,
while considering what he said. He made a good point, but I really wasn’t in
the mood to overthink it. Plus, it was very hard to concentrate at the moment,
especially when I was mesmerized by this man’s lips.

When I finally looked up at his eyes, I
said, “I think I’d rather have one of those moments right now instead of
talking about it.”

Holding his gaze, my mouth curved into an
unrestrained, slightly suggestive smile. I took pleasure in his response. The
shock coupled with desire I saw in his eyes made the woman in me stir. I felt
my confidence growing as I continued to let go of all doubts and thoughts of
right and wrong. Tonight, I wasn’t in the mood for any self-control.

My hands became sure of their movements,
running under his shirt, up the smooth hardness of the ripples on his stomach.
They found his equally amazing pecks, and the restraint held in his eyes
disappeared as soon as they closed.

He pulled me against him, giving me a real
kiss by pressing his lips firmly against mine in so much built up passion I
felt like we could both explode at any second. My hands slowly felt his abs in
reverse as I drew them out from under his shirt and wrapped them tightly around
his neck.

The kiss deepened further, and his hands
were gripping my sides. He slowly traced them down, keeping them molded around
my frame, dragging a little material from my thin t-shirt along with them. Once
they got to my waist, he gripped me tighter, pulling me even closer. His mouth
explored mine passionately and skillfully as if he anticipated my every move
and what I liked. His lips pressed into mine and pulled back slightly, dragging
mine into his with a gentle suction.

He put his forehead to mine and teased me by
pressing his mouth forward, cocking his head back and forth as if coming in to
kiss me from different angles but never quite reaching my lips. I leaned in
each time expectantly, each time getting more and more frustrated. He laughed
lightly, and his breath touched my lips, torturing me slowly and agonizingly.

Before going crazy, I forced my lips hard
against his, biting his bottom lip, tugging it lightly before releasing it.
With the brief separation, I finally noticed my breathing had picked up so
much, I would have thought I had just run ten marathons in super speed. I
taunted him with my eyes, daring him to try teasing me again, and with a
devilish grin, his lips crushed mine.

His lips were so soft and felt so damn good
against mine. And his body pressed against mine, wow. I arched my back, needing
to get even closer, desperate to feel more of him, all of him. His hands moved
lower, slowing over my hips, then tracing down and around the backs of my
thighs. They came up over my ass, and with a firm grip, they pulled me up
leaving me no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist.

As he pulled me up, my body slipped against
his with a friction that made me painfully aware of the heat boiling inside the
area just south of my belly. The motion of it begged to be repeated over and
over, but at the moment, I needed his lips on mine. The quick motion of lifting
me broke the kiss momentarily, but as my face rose above his, my lips followed
his, finding them again when I was settled in my new perch in his arms.

There was a dizzying sensation followed by a
sharp pain in my back. The loud thump was actually what clued me in to what had
just happened. He had carried me over to the wall and threw me against it, as
gently as he could manage in this uncontrolled state. The impact knocked the
wind out of me, and I let out a breathy gasp in response.