Fae (31 page)

The lock turned in the door again and Neala groaned, sure that Evans couldn’t be back already. The door opened a crack and a woman slipped in. When she turned around, Neala’s anger ratcheted up another notch.

Lena
.

“You.” When Lena saw her she spit out the word like venom and walked swiftly towards Neala screaming at her the whole way. “You ruined
everything
! You took him from me!”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” When Lena got close Neala grabbed her arm and twisted her wrist sharply and Lena cried out. Neala just stared down at Lena who was bent to the side trying to ease the pressure on her arm. “
You
don’t get to yell at me. Ever.” Neala pointed behind her, “Caridee can yell at me,
any
of these girls can yell at me, be mad at me, even
hate
me for leaving them. But you don’t get to, not after everything you did for Nikola.”

“Don’t say his name! Don’t you
dare
say his name!” Lena tried to reach up and claw at Neala’s face with her other arm, but she just twisted her arm a little more until she cried out and stopped.

“Nikola did not care about you, Lena. He
used
you to spy on us, to keep the girls in line, and no matter how much you loved him you were never more than property to him.” Neala’s voice was raised, but she was talking slowly and clearly.

It was a last ditch effort to reason with the woman; because Neala had never understood
why
Lena sacrificed the girls she was supposed to watch over just to make Nikola happy. Lena was shaking her head and starting to cry, and for a moment Neala pitied her. Thinking the tears were because her arm hurt, Neala released her wrist.

“You should have died! Not him!” Lena’s hands were quick and around Neala’s neck in an instant, but Lena was no fighter. Neala just brought her arm down across Lena’s to break her hold and then kneed her in the stomach. Lena hit the floor gasping and choking, and Neala’s momentary pity disappeared.

“You know what, Lena? Shut up.” Neala was furious, remembering every horrible thing Lena had ever done to her or the other girls. “
You
made this place hell long before Marik arrived.
You
turned girls in to Nikola any chance you got. Anything to make him
smile
at you, anything to make him say
thank you
!” Neala’s rage had her on a rant, and when Lena tried to get back up Neala pushed her back down with a foot. “No, you stay down.
You
should be the one suffering right now, not these girls. You have betrayed them more times than I can count, and you say
I
should have died?”

“Yes,” Lena hissed bitterly, glaring up at her.

“Do the girls even know everything you’ve done to them? Or have they all been too afraid to tell each other because Nikola protected you? Did you ever admit that
you
were the one that turned in Mei-Li for breaking that dish two months ago?” Neala was leaning over Lena as she listed her crimes. She had never been able to call Lena out on all her actions, but nothing was stopping her now.

“You know, Fae actually took credit for that, Lena, when the dish broke? And she took the punishment meant for me.” Mei-Li spoke up from a few steps behind her.

“Lena was the one who told Butler that Annika was keeping bread in here, I think she spent two days with the guards for that.” Ebere said it from against the wall, her own rage leaking into her voice. Then she spoke again. “What about when she told Nikola that I hadn’t finished two loads of laundry? Or when Caridee didn’t mop the back hall? I think Fae tried to protect us for those too.”

“But she -” Lena sputtered, but another of the girls spoke up and Neala pinned Lena back to the floor, holding her there with a foot on her chest.

“Fae was the
only
one here who tried to save Juliet. She volunteered to go in Juliet’s place when Nikola ordered it, she even tried to get sent to the guards at the party when I asked her to help – and that’s why she got whipped. And then, the morning Juliet died, Neala was the one who went to ask for a doctor, not you, Lena,
you
ran away.” Irena was crying again, but she was shouting at the matron from across the room. Other girls started muttering.

There were so many times when Lena had betrayed them
.

“You aren’t protected anymore, Lena. Marik doesn’t care about you at all, and he won’t save you.” Neala stepped back from her and continued, “I will do everything in my power to protect these girls from Butler, and from Marik, and the other guards, but I won’t lift a
finger
to help you.”

Lena looked terrified for a moment before she pushed herself up. She looked around at the girls, starting to cry, her perfect façade cracking in a hundred places. As soon as she realized no one was going to stand up for her she ran back out the door, leaving it open behind her.

The girls were all looking at Neala now, but she didn’t say anything as she tried to calm her breathing and slow her pulse. She was fighting her urge to go after Lena, and the guards, who had done so much damage in this house. But she wouldn’t get far if she went after them and she knew it. Her mind was racing. It was pointless to try and fight the regime of the house, but those little individual fights? Like with Evans and Blithe? She could win those. She may not win the war of control in this house, but she could make it miserable for them to fight it – no matter what it cost her. Lifting her hands to her neck she untied the leather string and held the beautiful silvery disc in her hand as she walked over to Ebere and handed it to her.

“Will you look after this for me? I know I’m going to have to pay for this morning and I don’t want to lose it.” Ebere was stoic as she took it from her and just nodded. When Neala looked around the room a few of the girls gave her weak smiles, but Neala really just wanted to shower off the blood and to get into a clean dress.

“Fae? I need you to come with me. Now.” There was a male voice at the open doors behind her. It was the young guard from the day before, Hills, and he looked worried again. A chill rushed down her spine, but she shoved it away. Neala sighed and gripped Ebere’s hand that held the only item in the world she cared about right now, and then she let go and walked towards the door.

“I guess Marik is keeping his appointments today?” Neala tried to sound brave, because she needed to give the girls back some hope or they wouldn’t last much longer. Without hope there would be a room full of girls like Caridee, broken and gone. The look on Hills’ face at her sarcastic question made her stomach drop, but he didn’t say anything. He simply stepped back from the door to let her walk into the hallway, and then locked the door behind her.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Tazewell, Virginia

Cole let go of Kiernan’s shoulder as they appeared behind his cabin. They were both laughing so hard that they couldn’t catch their breath. Cole looked up at the sky, shouting, “Holy shit! Let’s sit down!” The snow crunched under their feet as they stomped up onto the back porch and dropped onto chairs.

“That was crazy, Cole. I can’t believe you broke a chair over that guy’s back!” Kiernan was still laughing but as he propped his feet up on the railing of the porch it was winding down. Cole was still loudly laughing, even with a split lip.

“He bet me I couldn’t take him!
Technically
he owes me fifty bucks – maybe I should go ask for it?” Cole raised an eyebrow, standing back up. He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and chuckled a little when he looked down at the blood.

“I think the cops are already there, probably a bad idea for us to show back up.” Kiernan leaned his chair back and grinned at him while Cole pulled open his back door and started to step inside.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… want a Coke?” Cole was still smiling even though he had to dab at the blood on his lip with his shirt. Kiernan nodded and relaxed back, looking out over the snow covered landscape. Dense trees surrounded Cole’s cabin, keeping the world hushed and quiet around them. It was nested amidst the over fifty acres of land he owned. Just a single road heading up, and no neighbors for miles – Cole’s bit of paradise.

“Here.” Cole tapped the side of Kiernan’s chair with a can and then sat back down taking a drink from his own. “Man, I have missed this. Eryn is way too serious to go out like that and just have fun. He’s down for either total destruction or nothing.” Cole leaned over and slapped Kiernan on the arm, laughing again. “You knocked that one guy out! I bet you the fifty bucks that other guy owes me that he’ll be sleeping until tomorrow.”

“These last few days have been ridiculous, but fun.” Kiernan smiled, watching the last rays of sun filter through the trees, leaving deep shadows in the woods around them.

“Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t avoid me so hard in the future, eh?” Cole leaned back, appraising Kiernan as he tilted his own chair onto two legs.

“I know. I just needed some time to myself, some time to adjust to life away from Gormahn’s keep.” Kiernan mumbled, knowing it had probably hurt Cole to be ignored for so long. First, because he couldn’t
find
Kiernan. Then, when he had found him Kiernan ignored the letters. Later, the phone calls. And for the last couple of decades he’d been ignoring letters, and e-mails, and cell phone calls. Cole hadn’t given up though.

“I get that. And it seems like the time away fixed whatever was wrong with you. You actually seem happy.” Cole wasn’t looking at him. He was staring out into the woods and the lack of eye contact made it easier to talk about the damage Kiernan had done to their friendship. They’d been like brothers once, and it seemed Cole was willing to be like that again.

“I am happy. And I’m sorry about avoiding you, when I left the castle I broke off from everything, but I shouldn’t have ditched you too.” Kiernan pushed on his side where he’d taken a series of punches earlier that night, and smiled. The ache would fade in a few hours, but for now it was a nice reminder of getting to fight side by side with Cole again. Even after centuries they didn’t have to talk to work together in a fight, it was as easy as breathing.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s all in the past. So, what finally made Kiernan the Brooding happy? Even back in the day when you were all-warrior-all-the-time and hanging with Eryn you weren’t what I’d call
happy
.” Cole finished the can of coke and got up to set it just inside the door. He grabbed his guitar and came back out while Kiernan was debating how to answer. If he brought up Neala, even if he didn’t say her name, Cole would never drop it until he knew who she was, so that answer was off the table completely.

“I don’t know, maybe I’m finally settling into life. I’m just happy.” Kiernan finished his own drink and put it next to the chair, enjoying the chill in the air and the darkening woods. He could understand why Cole lived out here, where he could be himself and not worry about anyone intruding on his space. It was a different kind of quiet than in the city, an old quiet.

“It took you two millennia to settle into life?” Cole was grinning at him as he started to pluck on his guitar, but Kiernan just rolled his eyes.

“Maybe it did, what do you care?” Kiernan threw the can at Cole, but he dodged it and laughed while he plucked the earliest notes of Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana.

“You don’t have to tell me what it is. Whatever it is, I’m glad you have it, because it woke you up. And I’ve missed this – having you around, I mean.” Cole stared down at the guitar, and Kiernan just nodded.

“Me too, brother, me too.” Kiernan said it and then let the silence return, the guitar the only noise around for miles and miles. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Cole smiling, but there was no need to talk more about it, they were good again. Like there hadn’t been almost two hundred years of silence.

After an hour or so Kiernan started to get antsy. He wanted to go home, and he wanted to see Neala again. It wouldn’t be so late in Seattle and he was sure she’d be up, and just the idea of having someone waiting for him at home made him feel light and warm. The more he thought of Neala, of getting to wrap his arms around her again, the more anxious he got to leave. He didn’t want to ditch Cole so quickly, but he didn’t have the patience to wait anymore. He stood up and stretched, looking over at Cole who seemed to already know what was coming. Cole sighed and leaned the guitar behind him on the wall as he stood up. Then he pulled open the door and reached inside, grabbing a duffel before dropping it at Kiernan’s feet.

“You heading back home?” Cole asked with a smile.

“Yeah, I have stuff to handle, but this was good. Maybe we can keep this a regular thing? We just might want to expand into other bars.” Kiernan grinned and Cole laughed, making his lip split again.

“Agreed.” Cole said it loudly, and they clapped each other on the back. “So that means I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Kiernan stepped back from him and Cole nodded as he gave him his sarcastic salute. Focusing back on his apartment, he felt himself shift and the warmth of his apartment hit him like a welcome home.

“Neala!” He turned around and set the duffel bag against the wall. An uneasy feeling unfurled in his stomach as his eyes scanned the apartment. Something wasn’t right. It was too quiet, and too still. He’d expected Neala to come out as soon as he got there. Slipping off his coat he took a step forward and glass crunched under his shoe. There was a broken wine glass and a dried pool of wine under it.

No
.

Panic ran through him as he turned around and shouted her name into the dark. He ran to the bedroom and flipped on the light, then the bathroom, the closet. He was tempted to check under the bed.

Nothing.

Running back to his living room he saw all the design books laid out across the kitchen table and a notepad.
Maybe she’d left a note
? He moved around to the side and traced his fingers over the smooth script of her handwriting. It wasn’t a note, just things she’d liked in the books. Things for the home they were going to build.

She hadn’t left on her own
.

The realization became a hole that was tearing open inside his chest and all the darkness was leaking out of it, filling him up. He walked over to his desk and slowly pulled the wood box for the observation glass towards him. His stomach was turning as he flipped it open, and he tightened his jaw as he thought of her and touched the glass.

It flared to life under his hands and he saw her figure, her arms extended above her, head down. The hole in his chest grew, the dark one she had kept at bay just by being near him filled him up like a bitter wind. He forced himself to run his fingertip counter-clockwise and images flashed through the glass on fast-rewind. She was back in that house, she was hurt -
they’d dared to touch her
- and then he got to the moment when she’d been pulled there. He let it play and couldn’t bring himself to touch the wood, to hear her screaming when the bands lit up and she was yanked back to that house. The silent film version was torture enough. His hands went into his hair and he pulled at it as the truth set in.

Someone had claimed her; someone in that house had claimed her without even knowing where she was.

Panic and disbelief gave way to anger as the images he’d seen flashed through his mind. He had sworn he’d protect her, and he had failed. He roared as the rage swelled inside him and he slammed his fists down on the desk, the glass top shattering into a million pieces. The box for the observation glass, his laptop, and other things hit the floor amidst the sparkling fragments. He roared again and picked up the box for the observation glass, hurling it against the wall. It rebounded off and the glass flew out and slid across the floor, undamaged. Looking down Kiernan saw the black lines on his arm. The vines were between his wrist and his elbow now, much shorter than they’d been when he left, and now he knew that part of that retreat - part of his pushing the poison back - had been Neala being returned to a master. His chest hurt from the pain of failing her, his stomach was roiling with how much he wanted to tear Butler’s head off.

He had to do something to fix this. He had to fix it
now
.

He felt himself losing it, losing himself. He was moments from a complete blackout like back in the days of Gormahn’s control. All because his neglect had sent her back to hell. He roared again trying to maintain some semblance of control, and kicked the frame of his desk. It skidded backwards before toppling into the remnants of the glass top.

That was not controlled.

He tried to breathe but his lungs wouldn’t inflate, his chest burned and the urge to destroy rose up and filled every thought. He had tunnel vision as he looked across the broken glass, the spilled wine, and he fought with the side of him that was Laochra, the side that urged him to let go of civility and take back what was
his
. The thought bobbed to the surface in the violence of his mind, all those times he had worried he would claim her for himself… it was this voice he’d been fighting. And now none of it mattered, because they had taken her, and she was in pain. His ribs threatened to cave in from the ache. The images had moved fast but he had watched them hurt her. They had hurt her. Again and again.

His.

Kiernan felt himself shift again and he was disoriented for a second as his eyes ran across metal shelves full of weapons, and boxes of bullets. His hand traced the black metal grip in front of him, lifting the gun from the rack. He turned around to see trunks of clothing and realized where he was – the weapons vault at Gormahn’s keep.

Kiernan knew he wasn’t in complete control of his thoughts at the moment, but some part of him had a plan and it involved a need for a lot of weapons. Whatever the plan was, he was on board. He could feel the old bloodlust rising in him like a fog, obscuring the pain he felt, and focusing him on a single need to get to Neala no matter who he had to get through to do that. He wanted her back, he wanted her because she was
his
, and they had no right to touch what was his.

Hate pulsed inside him, smoothing the jagged edges of his pain, rolling away his shame and regret at failing her. Kiernan could feel the growl work its way through his chest until it vibrated his teeth. This was the version of him that Eryn had loved, the version of himself that Eryn had smiled at before they charged an opposing army. This was the dark one.

This was not who Neala wanted
.

Kiernan put his hands against the wall, forcing himself to breathe. He thought of her, and of everything good she said she saw in him. If he was going to get her, he had to still be worthy of her when he got there. The buzzing in his head slowed a little with each deep breath, and with the easing of the bloodlust came the return of the pain in his chest – but her safety was the only thing that would heal that.

Kiernan let himself get to the edge of that bloodlust, teetering over the edge where the clarity of battle meant he wouldn’t give mercy to those who had harmed her, but he didn’t let himself go where he couldn’t come back. He wouldn’t be some mindless killing machine, some puppet for a god of war, not ever again. With a steadying breath he moved quickly, changing into combat gear and using the various straps on the clothing to arm himself. He grabbed the smallest set of clothes he could find and shoved them into a bag that he put across his back, crisscrossing the sword peeking over his shoulder. He palmed two Beretta handguns and thought of that house, focused on it even as his pulse ramped up, and then he felt himself shift again.