Fairytale Not Required (29 page)

Her shouts echoed through the high ceilings, repeating her words back to her, like the heavens themselves were affirming her words.
It's me. It's me. It's me.

"Holy cow." She flopped down on the living room carpet and stared up at the ceiling, awed by the beautiful wood beams crisscrossing the white plaster. "How can this be mine?"

No one answered her, but no one needed to.

It was hers because a beautiful, amazing man had given her the one gift he knew she craved beyond anything. Security. Safety. Freedom to never be reliant on anyone again. Roots.

Astrid closed her eyes, her heart filling with emotions at the thought of Jason. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you."

The house was silent, and as she lay there, the silence seemed to grow louder and louder. She heard the distant sound of Noah shouting, and the laugh of his grandmother. As she heard the sounds of family, a faint hint of loneliness began to squeeze into her sanctuary.

The losses of the last few days began to press at her, and Astrid sat up, draping her arms over her knees. Her second chance at a child was gone. Her mother was dead. Jason had set her free, and he had no reason to want her now that she wasn't pregnant. She bowed her head, the magnitude of her losses almost overwhelming.

She had a home, finally. She had stability. She had security. But there was still a growing emptiness inside her. A restlessness. A fire beginning to grow, pushing her for more.

A fire? The image of raging flames flashed through her mind, and she thought of the phoenix that she'd tried to draw so many times during her life, but had never been able to get right. She hadn't even tried to draw in in almost two years, although she kept her sketches handy, hoping that someday, sometime, things would come together for her. And there, with her chest aching with both loneliness and pride, she knew what the problem with the phoenix had been.

Energy surging through her, Astrid leapt to her feet and raced over to the table. This time, she didn't bother with drawing it first. She opened the drawer on her apothecary cabinet and began to rifle through it to find the right pieces for her project. She knew what she needed to do. The image was so clear in her mind.

She simply knew.

It had been a long, long time since her mind had felt this quiet and this clear, and it felt amazing. And she knew Jason Sarantos was the one responsible.

He couldn't concentrate. He just couldn't fucking concentrate. Oregano just didn't matter.

Jason braced his hands on the counter in his kitchen and took a deep breath. He'd been experimenting with pizza sauce recipes all evening, and he couldn't even focus long enough to notice how they tasted.

Ever since he'd heard Astrid's car drive up to her carriage house, he'd been on edge. His parents had taken Noah to the movies because they'd all agreed they needed to get away from "cranky dad." His solution had been to cook. Cooking was good. The store was opening in two days. But as hard as he tried, he couldn't fucking concentrate.

What was Astrid doing in there? Was she packing the rest of her boxes? Was she unpacking? Had it been the wrong move to leave the hospital and give her time to digest? It had been hell to walk out of her room, but he'd been so certain that he needed to give her the space to feel safe. Had he been wrong? Had she misinterpreted it when she'd thought he didn't care?

"Fuck!" He turned off the burners, threw down his spoon and yanked off his apron. That was it. He couldn't wait any more. Restlessness and need burning through him, he sprinted through the house and yanked open the door— "Astrid!" He barely stopped in time to keep from plowing her off the front step, catching her by the upper arms to help her keep her balance.

Dear God almighty, he was stunned by how good it felt to touch her. He wanted to haul her against him and bury her against his body. For a moment, Astrid seemed to melt into him, and his heart leapt, then she stiffened and pulled back. "I made this," she said. "It's for you." She held out a small item wrapped in white tissue paper.

Frowning, Jason accepted it. "How are you doing? Do you feel okay?"

She nodded. "Open it."

He unwrapped it, and when he saw what it was, he caught his breath. It was a stained glass image of a phoenix. It was the same phoenix he'd seen in her sketches, but this one had orange and blue fire blazing in its eyes, instead of tears. Silver wire was delicately twisted into the design of the phoenix, and Astrid had filled the spaces with iridescent beads glittering like they themselves were on fire. There were flames around the bird's feet, but instead of the claws turning to ash, they were a vibrant gold. Sitting on each foot was a dragonfly, its colorful wings glittering like rainbows. The bird's wings were extended as if it were rising into the air. He could almost feel the feathers fluttering as it took flight.

This was a bird that was coming to life, not the one that was being pulled down by the ashes. It was pure magic. "It's incredible, Astrid."

She smiled, and her eyes lit up with more energy and fire than he'd ever seen before. Her eyes looked like those of the phoenix, alive and brimming with passion. It was the courage and zest he'd seen before, but this time, the shadows were quiet. The fear was at peace. All that was left was the woman he'd seen from that first moment. It was as if facing her worst fears had finally cleansed her soul and given her the freedom to move forward.

Or maybe his gift of the house had done it, or at least helped. Did her peace have anything to do with him? Hell, he hoped it did.

"I know," she said, elation filling her voice. "I haven't created anything truly beautiful in almost a year, and then this came to life for me. I want you to have it."

Warmth coursed through him, awe that she would offer him such an incredible gift, but he knew he couldn’t take it from her. She needed it too much. "No." He tried to hand it back to her. "You need to sell this. You'll make a lot of money on it."

"It's for you." She folded his hand over it, her touch warm and gentle. "I can tell that my inspiration is back. I'll be okay. But this one was for you." She touched the dragonfly on the bird's claw. Her eyes were full of passion and warmth. "These dragonflies are helping the phoenix fly. They're giving the phoenix wings, in case she can't fly." She smiled at him. "That's you," she said quietly. "Thank you for being my dragonfly."

Jason's chest ached with words he was afraid to say, and he caught her wrist as she started to turn away. "Where are you going?"

She smiled. "Home." Then she pulled out of his grasp and hurried down the pathway.

Jason tightened his grip on the phoenix as he watched Astrid return to the carriage house. That was it? Was that her good-bye? Was that her way of saying thank you? And that was all?

No way. "Wait!" Jason leapt through his doorway and sprinted after her.

Astrid glanced back, and her eyes widened when she saw him running after her. For a split second, he wasn't sure if she was going to wait for him.

Then she turned toward him, and he knew she was.

* * *

Astrid's heart was pounding as she watched Jason sprint toward her, her phoenix clenched in his hand. She hadn't known what else to say to him, how to let him know. She'd hoped he would understand what the phoenix meant without her having to tell him—

"Astrid." He caught up to her, stopping right in front of her. Almost touching, but not quite. They were so close, inches apart, but not yet together.

For a moment, neither of them spoke, the air heated between them. Astrid swallowed, knowing she had to say it. "I'm not sure if I can have children, Jason. I might never carry to term."

She waited for the regret or the anguish to flash over his face, a revealing expression that would tell her that it bothered him.

But he simply took her hand and pressed his lips to her palm. "I don't mind."

Hope leapt through her, but she quickly shoved it away, not daring to reach for the golden ring, for the fairytale that had failed her before. "But you want more children. You want a family."

"I have a family. I have an amazing son who is enough all by himself." He grinned. "I changed the name of the cafe to Noah's Place. He's so thrilled. He's been designing the new sign all day, and he's been naming each of the pizzas." He paused. "One of them is named 'Astrid's Adventure.'"

Astrid blinked, sudden tears filling her eyes. "He named one after me?"

"Yeah, he sure did. He thinks you're amazing."

Astrid swallowed, her throat tightening. "Really? But all I did was look for snakes and dragonflies with him."

"That was perfect." He ran his fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ear. "I think you're amazing too, Astrid. Last night, my dad agreed to help me with the store, and to share some of his recipes. Eppie came by and announced that she was going to charge me a fortune, but that she'd decided she would be in charge of marketing. Noah loves it. The whole thing is coming together."

She smiled. "That's great—"

"No, it's not." His eyes darkened. "I have everything I want, but it isn't enough. All I can think about is that you should be a part of it—" He pressed his finger to her lips before she could protest. "I don't mean I want you to be making pizza sauce with me. I want you to be making your jewelry and doing your thing, whether it's jewelry or standing out on your deck or hanging with the girls, as long as you're a part of my life." He slipped his hands around her waist and pulled her up against him. "I want to crawl into bed at night with you. I want to call you up when I make my first sale and celebrate with you. I want to take you out for dinner when you hit your first threshold with your jewelry sales."

The most incredible sense of warmth and belonging began to fill her, swelling through her like a great burst of sunlight. "Jason—"

"No, that's not all." He got down on one knee and took her hand. "I want to be connected to you for the rest of my life. Say you'll marry me, Astrid. Even if it takes you a year or two or ten before you trust me enough to actually marry me, just tell me that someday you will. Will you marry me, Astrid? I love you, every last bit of you."

"Oh, Jason," she whispered, too stunned to answer. He knew everything about her. He knew about her mother. About her past. He had no reason to marry her, not even through some misguided sense of duty because she was pregnant. She had nothing to offer him except herself, and that was enough.

"Wait." He jammed his hand into his front pocket and pulled out a ring. "Marry me, Astrid." He held it up, and she saw that he hadn't honored her with the traditional diamond solitaire. It was two diamonds, cut into the shape of intertwining hearts, an almost perfect replica of her trademark pattern. She knew he must have had it created especially for her. For them. By choosing her signature design, she knew it was his way of promising that he honored and loved
her
, exactly as she truly was.

"Oh, Jason," she whispered. "It's beautiful."

"My heart hasn't beat on its own since I met you," he said. "It's a part of you, and yours is a part of mine." He smiled. "I had this ring designed right after I met you. I knew you were the one for me. Your soul has been open to me since we met, Astrid, and that's what I fell in love with. I love you, sweetheart. I love you exactly the way you are, and so does Noah."

Tears filled her eyes, and Astrid knew she'd come home, in every way. She then whispered the words she'd thought she'd never say again. "I love you, Jason, and yes, I'll marry you."

He let out a whoop and leapt to his feet, sweeping her up in a tremendous embrace. She laughed as he swung her around, unable to contain her joy.

Jason finally stopped the embrace, and he lifted her hand. Slowly, never breaking eye contact with her, he slid the beautiful ring onto her fourth finger. It fit perfectly, and the white diamonds sparkled like a waterfall in the morning sun. "You're mine now," he growled, a mischievous light flashing in his eyes.

Her heart leapt, but before she could react, he swept her up in his arms and carried her across the threshold to her home. Her home. Her man. Her future.

* * *

Jason kicked the door shut, his heart singing as he carried Astrid into the carriage house. He'd found his future, his life, his meaning. But he knew it wasn't enough. The ring was a symbol, but he needed her soul, as well. He needed to feel her commitment to him in the core of her body, in her very soul. "I need to make love to you."

She smiled, a heart-melting tenderness that went straight to his core. "Yes."

Desire leapt through him. He instantly pulled her tighter against him and caught her lips with his as he carried her across the floor. Her response was instant and electrifying, as full of fire and heat as he'd known it would be. The kiss was intoxicating, and he growled as he deepened it, needing more, needing to access all of her.

He reached the bed, and started to lower her to it, when he remembered her aversion to letting him into it. He paused to grab the comforter off the bed so he could toss it on the floor—

"It's okay, Jason." Astrid let go of him, dropping to her mattress. She held up her arms to him. "Be the first and only one to share my bed with me," she whispered. "I always swore that I would never share it, not unless I knew it was forever. Be my forever, Jason Sarantos, because I'm yours."

"You bet your ass this is forever," he said as he lowered himself on top of her. He moved slowly, giving Astrid the chance to change her mind, searching her face for fear or trepidation, but he saw only love and commitment. He saw trust, and that touched him the most deeply. Astrid had no reason to trust, and yet she'd given her heart to him.

Rightness surged through him, and he brushed his lips over hers. "I will never let you down," he whispered. "Never."

"I know." Astrid wrapped her arms around his neck. "Now kiss me, and make me yours forever."