Faith (My Misery Muse)

Faith

A My Misery Muse
Novel

By

Brei Betzold

Faith

A My Misery Muse
Novel

Copyright © 2013 by Brei
Betzold

Published April 9,
2013

Publisher Brei
Betzold

This is a work of fiction.
All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel
are either products of the author’s imagination or are used
fictitiously.

All rights reserved. This
edition is copywritten by Brei Betzold and any portion thereof may
not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the
express written permission of the author, except for the use of
brief quotations in a book review. January 2013.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This Ebook is licensed for your personal
enjoyment only. This Ebook may not be re-sold or given away to
others. If you would like to share this book with others, please
purchase an additional copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work
of the author.

Edited by Tanya
Keetch

Cover photo ©

Istockphoto.com

Cover Design by Sarah
Hansen

Prologue

Mags

I was standing there pretending to sip my
champagne, wishing I could drink it for real and watched the
beautiful bride. She absolutely glowed, I think it was the happiest
I had ever seen her. Seth had his arm wrapped around her waist
gently, rubbing his thumb back and forth against the slight pooch
where their baby grew and was carrying the now four year old Jaks
in the other arm. I looked down to my own flat tummy, and knew that
picture would never be me. I guess I was more like my own mother
than I realized. I never wanted marriage and the picket fence, but
someone to actually be there for this little jellybean would be
nice change in family dynamics.

“We’ll be okay,” I whispered to reassure
myself more than the baby that now grew within me.

I was still watching the bride and groom when
I felt a finger run down my arm. I glanced over and nearly groaned
aloud. Why had he to come over to talk to me now? I had been trying
to keep a distance from him all day. I knew I told Devi I would
tell the father, but I didn’t want to do it now at her wedding, but
I also didn’t know when I would see him again.

I faked smiled over at him. “How are you
enjoying the festivities?”

He shrugged. “It's okay I guess, very Seth
and Devi.”

I nodded, this low key wedding was very Seth
and Devi. “So how have you been?”

“Been busy with work, how about you?”

“Been busy with work too,” I mused. “I’ve
been needing to talk to you.”

“Really? That surprises me.”

“Why is that?”

“Last time we were together you couldn’t
leave fast enough.”

“That’s because we had just made a huge
mistake.”

He nodded. “If you says so, want to go make
that mistake again?”

I scowled at him. “No, I want to talk to you
about something.”

He grumbled. “Fine, let’s talk.”

“Not here,” I said looking around. “Let’s go
in the house.”

He nodded and placed his hand on my waist and
led me to the back doors of the house Seth and Devi had recently
bought. We walked into the living area and I turned and faced the
father of my child. Damn, I didn’t know how he was going to react
to the news.

“So, about the last time we saw each other,”
I started.

He nodded his head. “It was fun; we should do
it again soon.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t think we
should.”

“Fine Mags, what do you need to tell me so we
can get back to the party?”

“I’m pregnant.”

He stared at me slack jawed then snapped it
closed. “Well it’s not mine; we used a condom.”

“I haven’t been with anyone else except you
in over six months, so that doesn’t leave anyone else.”

“Mags, I don’t want a baby. You do what you
think you need to do, but don’t expect a damn thing from me,
especially since I don’t believe it’s mine. I mean, we all know
what you’re reputation is.”

I nodded getting more and more pissed off
with every word he spoke. “I don’t want anything from you, just
thought you should know, and you don’t know a fucking thing about
me or my reputation.”

“Fine, whatever, have a nice life.”

“Yeah, you too,” I mumbled and watched him
spin on his heel and storm out of the room not surprised by his
reaction or his lack of interest in the child. I felt one tear fall
and quickly wiped it away. I couldn’t fall apart over this here. I
took a deep breath and headed back to the party. “Well it’s just
you and me, jellybean,” I whispered.

Drake

I couldn’t believe Mags was doing this here
at my sister’s wedding. She was the maid of honor shouldn’t she be
more concerned with that instead of this. I stared at her and
couldn’t believe what she was doing here, of all places. I couldn’t
deal with her right now, so I spun on my heel and walked away.

Chapter 1

Mags

So I thought I knew what to expect with the
whole single mom thing. I watched my best friend, Devi go through
it with Jaks. I even helped as much as possible, but now I have a
whole new level of respect for that girl. I was trying not to
scream, cry or just run into the bathroom and lock the door. My
six-week-old darling, beautiful daughter, Quinn had been crying for
over an hour, and nothing I did had calmed her down. My nipples
hurt, my back hurt, I was exhausted, and nothing made this kid
happy. I had no idea on what to do next. I was close to doing the
one thing I always hated doing, calling Devi. It’s not that she
wouldn’t help; I knew she would, but it was three a.m. and Devi had
her own baby and kid to take care of.

After another thirty minutes of Quinn crying,
I finally gave in and had to call for reinforcements,
encouragements, someone to cry to—just something.

“Ello,” said a sleepy sounding Devi.

“Help, please help,” I whined.

“I’m up,” she said. “What’s going on,
Mags?’

“Quinn has been crying for two hours. I can’t
make her stop; I don’t know what I am doing wrong. Please, please,
please tell me what I am doing wrong,” I begged near tears.

“Mags, calm down, you’re not doing anything
wrong. Quinn has colic, honey,” she soothed. “It’s nothing you
did.”

“Devi, I am so tired. My nipples are
bleeding. I don’t remember the last time I slept more than an hour;
how in the hell am I going to do this on my own?”

“Ah honey, you don’t have to do it on your
own, you know I am here for you. Let me get dressed, wake up Drake
and let him know I am heading out so he can listen for Cait and
Jaks.”

“Why is Drake there?”

“He’s going with us in the morning to meet up
with the guys on tour. Mags, you sure you don’t want to go with us?
I’m sure you could use the time away, and you’d have mine and Ash’s
help with Quinn so you could get some sleep.”

“I don’t want to be a burden, Devi.”

“Mags, I already told you, you wouldn’t be.
The guys have a four day break in Seattle for Thanksgiving. We are
going to be staying in a four star hotel, and my ass is going to
the spa while I am there. Hang on, let me wake up Drake and I will
be at your place in fifteen or so and we can talk about this some
more.”

“Okay, and Devi thanks, you know I love you
right?”

“Yeah, yeah I love you too, see you
soon.”

I hung up with Devi and started pacing around
the living room with still screaming Quinn.

Drake

I pulled up in front of Mags' small house and
wondered how I got drafted for this; oh yeah, Cait woke up. Now I
love my niece but Caitir has the worst timing. Instead of Devi
coming to the rescue, it’s me; while she gets to sit in her comfy
rocker nursing my niece, instead of me in said rocker giving her a
bottle.

I hadn’t seen much of Mags since Devi’s
wedding. I’d been traveling around signing different bands, holding
their hands, just the normal high school drama that went along with
my job. Though I was surprised to find out she was pregnant, I was
interested about the father, but she refused to tell anyone who he
is, even Devi. All I ever heard was that he knew about the baby and
had no interest to be involved. I realized I couldn’t stall any
longer and got out the car and walked towards the house, I heard a
screaming Quinn and knew I was in for a long night. I had only seen
the baby once shortly after she was born, but she was beautiful.
Then again she was Mags' daughter so of course she would be.

I knocked on the door and heard no response
but Quinn’s screaming, so I tried the door and found it was
unlocked—stupid, stupid woman. I let myself in and walked into an
even larger mess than normal for Mags' place. I made it to the
living room and stopped, a screaming Quinn was in some sort of
chair contraption and a crying Mags curled up on the couch in what
looked like the beginnings of a panic attack. Even exhausted and in
need of a shower, Mags looked gorgeous with her long slender legs
pulled up to her chin, and her normally shiny dark hair in
desperate need for a shower.

“Well Princess, looks like your mama is
exhausted,” I said as I scooped up the crying baby.

Mags jolted up and looked at me with glassy
eyes. I started bouncing the crying, red-faced Quinn and she
started to calm down.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well Devi was detained, so she sent me.”

“Oh.”

“Mags go get a shower and some sleep; Quinn
and I will be fine.”

“No, that’s okay; I didn’t mean to bother
anyone.”

“Mags, you didn’t bother me, now go.” I
looked down at a now whimpering Quinn. “Don’t be as stubborn as
your mama when you grow up, k?”

Mags glared at me with her sea glass blue
eyes, just like I knew she would.

“I am not stubborn.”

“Yes you are or you would take this as it is,
a much needed break. Now get your fine ass in the shower and get
some sleep. Oh, and by the way, you are going to Seattle with us
tomorrow morning. I will get the princess here packed up, make sure
you get yourself a bag together,” I said with authority as I wiped
off a bit of spit up from the now sleeping Quinn’s face.

“I don’t know who the hell you thi—”

I put my finger on her lips and stepped in
before she went into full rant. “Shhh, now don’t wake her up, and
do what you’re told like a good girl.”

She glanced over at her sleeping daughter.
“Damn it, Drake, how did you do that?”

I shrugged.

“I will go take a shower and a nap, but we
will be talking about the other part of your demands afterwards,”
she snarked then went off towards her bedroom.

“Well Princess, looks like you and I are
hanging out for a while,” I told the sleeping baby then sat on the
couch and put her on my chest where we both took a nap.

Chapter 2

Mags

I woke up and for the first time in a long
time felt like a human being. Then I looked over at the bassinet
and Quinn wasn’t there and there went that good feeling. I jumped
out of bed and ran in the living room where I found Drake sleeping
on my couch with Quinn curled up on his chest sleeping peacefully.
I crept out of the living room and grabbed my camera from my
bedroom. Then snuck back in there careful not to wake either and
took a picture. I couldn’t resist, and they looked too cute, like a
dad with his daughter.

“You done, now?” came Drake’s sleepy
voice.

I glanced up and saw Drake’s bright blue eyes
on me. He may be an ass most of the time but that boy truly was
gorgeous. His dark hair was longer than normal brushing the the
collar of his T-shirt; blue eyes that looked like a Texas sky in
the summer, broad shoulders and a chest and abs I had drooled over
more than once. His well-worn jeans fit his tight ass and thighs
perfectly; he stood at around 6’4 and looked like a Greek god. His
face was purely man, with a square jaw, and chiseled cheekbones. I
had spent some time sketching that face without realizing I was
doing it on more than one occasion.

“If you’ve looked your fill, go start some
coffee, and go get packed were leaving for the airport at eleven;
so we need to get going soon,” he drawled in that deep raspy voice
of his that had women swooning.

I was snapped back to reality, while he may
be pretty to look at, he was an ass. All men were asses as far I
was concerned.

“I’m not going,” I said sternly.

“Yes you are, if I have to put you over my
shoulder and take you, you will be getting on that plane.”

“Why do you even care, or want me to go? You
don’t like me; you’ve made that perfectly clear.”

“Ah Mags, Devi is worried about you and what
worries Devi worries me, and Princess told me you don’t have plans
for Thanksgiving.”