Faith (Rescue Me, A Contemporary Romance) (15 page)

With a plan in place she went looking for the envelope Liam had said had arrived for her. She found it in his room on his dresser, his sticky peanut butter fingerprints all over it. With a sigh she shook her head and opened it – butterflies in her stomach going crazy at what could be waiting for her inside the envelope.

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the class of….

She didn’t have to read anymore. She was in! She was going to go to college! Her life, her finances, Liam’s future, she could have control over all of it with a better education now.

The whole thing with Rory didn’t matter. Sure, he made her happy and she could never have believed that she could feel happy like that again when Mac had died, but what did it matter if her happiness made Liam upset? Her son was her whole life and he was already hurting, she couldn’t bear the thought of being the source of any additional pain in his life.

She had herself and her son to think of now. She was going to go to college and make a real future for them.

Faith couldn’t wait to tell her mom and Liam about her news. But, the first thing she needed to do was tell Rory that she couldn’t see him again. It was better to do it now, when it was still early days in their relationship, than wait until things got more serious.

He wouldn’t mind, Faith thought, he was a movie star with the phone numbers of some of the world’s most beautiful women in his little black book. He didn’t honestly believe that she was so special like he’d told her. It just didn’t make any sense for that to be sincere. He didn’t even know her, she reasoned.

In the meantime, she needed to get online and figure out the courses she wanted to take, financial aid, how she was going to fix her work schedule to take classes. There was so much planning to do, she couldn’t think about Rory. She would never be able to concentrate on building a relationship with him right now anyway, even if she did want to. It was pretty amazing that a movie start wanted to date her though, she smiled to herself feeling a little cocky at the thought. Mac would have laughed and laughed and congratulated her, she smiled at the idea of telling him about it.

Rory had told her he was going back to LA for the weekend, but he was coming back on Monday. She’d tell him then. In the meantime, she felt like sharing her good news with someone.

“Mom!” she called to her sleeping mother. “The best thing just happened!”

Liam felt lousy. No he felt guilty and he was tired of feeling guilty. He felt guilty because his stupidity had led to his father’s murder, but that was old news, he’d been feeling guilty about that for months now, ever since the night of the accident.

He felt guilty about causing his mother’s miscarriage. If he hadn’t caused his father’s murder, his mother would have never lost his baby brother. He told himself over and over. But that was also a guilt that he felt was deep in his bones now.

No, his newest guilt was a result of his attitude about his mom’s boyfriend, that movie star Rory Reynolds. What kind of an asshole made his own mother feel bad about being happy? She had obviously gotten laid last night, he thought with a disgusted grimace. It had been all over like a neon sign when he’d seen her in the kitchen this morning. You could just tell, and he’d acted like she’d committed some kind of crime.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Emily said over his shoulder, sitting down next to him with her lunch tray.

“Oh hi,” he said, trying not to let his panic show on his face.

He’d done a pretty good job avoiding Emily ever since she’d told him her name in class the other week. He’d sat in a different spot every day and he’d come in to class at the last minute so she didn’t sit near him.

She was so hot, it made him sick to avoid her like this, especially since she seemed hell bent on talking to him, so there was a good chance maybe she actually liked him, but what if she did and they got close. He could barely look at her without thinking about the accident and god forbid he was ever actually forced to say her name out loud. It might make him vomit on her, and he’d rather get a hard-on next to this girl than be sick on her and have to explain why he was such an ass.

“Look, what is the problem with you and me?” She asked him point blank as she took a sip of her soda. “Did I do something to make you mad?”

“No, it’s a really weird long story, and it has nothing to do with you,” he said.

He could feel his face going red and flushed. He could only imagine what a spaz he looked like.

“I’ve got time,” she said and she reached over and rubbed his arm.

She definitely liked him, he thought. Girls did not do things like rub his arm. In fact, girls barely noticed him at all unless they were drama girls and they were doing a play together or something, but he was not the sort of guy that girls fell all over themselves for. And so far, his natural shyness hadn’t made him any other friends in this school. This Emily girl was the only person, never mind a girl, that seemed to care if he lived or died.

“Okay, you’re going to think this is really weird. I mean like movie-of-the-week weird, but the thing is, it’s your name. It’s kind of freaking me out.”

“My name?” She gaped at him incredulously.

“I told you it was weird.” He reminded her. “My mom and I moved here a few months ago because there was an accident where we lived in Alaska. My dad died and the girl who was sort of responsible for it, her name was Emily.”

“Oh,” she said with a look of genuine understanding in her brown eyes.

She reached over and rubbed his arm again, but this time she lingered and sort of gave his arm a squeeze of sympathy.

Damn it, he thought, he didn’t want her to pity him. He just wanted her to understand what the deal was so she would leave him alone. With any luck he could graduate without everyone knowing that he was a freak who’s dad had been murdered.

“Maybe don’t saying anything to anyone, okay?” He asked her.

“No, it’s fine, I totally understand.” She reassured him. “My mom died two years ago. She was walking home alone and two guys jumped her when she was getting in the car. They beat her up pretty bad. She died in the hospital. They caught the guys who did it, but it didn’t really matter, right. They’re still gone.”

Liam looked at her with new eyes.

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Nothing can bring my dad back. But the weird thing is that this Emily girl, the bitch that started everything, it was her dad that actually did it. She just tipped him off.”

Encouraged by the look in Emily’s eyes, Liam told her the whole story sitting together at the cafeteria table. He told her everything that is, except the fierce guilt he was feeling because of it. He didn’t even tell her that it was him who had caused the accident. He started to, but he didn’t want her to know that it was him that had started everything in motion. He didn’t think he could stand to look into her eyes and see the realization dawn there that he was the monster who had gotten his own father killed because he couldn’t tell the difference between the brake pedal and the gas pedal.

So he lied. He told her his mom had been driving and had hit Emily.

He lied to this kind, understanding, pretty girl. He lied and added another layer of guilt to his conscience.

Faith was excited but nervous. She didn’t know which emotion to settle on. Her mind kept switching back and forth from excitement over her upcoming academics—she had settled on marketing as a profession to pursue, it sounded so fascinating to be able to manipulate and predict what the population would like to see or hear in music—she was going to concentrate on a career in the music business, this being Nashville and all, and she’d always been fascinated by the music industry. In fact, Mac had always teased her about her CD collection being bigger and worth more money than anything else they owned. Yes, music had always been a big part of her life, maybe because her father had been a musician, so it seemed like a natural fit to try and work in the industry.

But thinking about a career in the entertainment business brought her thoughts rushing back to Rory. He’d called her ten times over the weekend. Just to hear her voice, he’d told her. At first she’d been flattered, but when the calls kept coming, the last one at midnight last night, she’d started to feel like she was being stalked or something.

He’d wanted to know what she was doing, who she was doing it with, what she was thinking, and on and on and on with the prying, strange questions. He sounded so insecure, she didn’t know what to think. She knew she had to cut things off between them, but what she thought would be an innocent conversation between two people who had just met, was starting to feel like it was going to cause a lot of unwanted drama because he was acting so attached. It was so strange. The man could have anyone he wanted, why was he getting so attached to her?

She was dreading the conversation she’d have to have with him. When he’d woken up the whole house with his midnight phone call last night, she’d snapped.

“Rory!” She’d whispered so fiercely, she could almost feel his surprise and shame over the phone line. “This is really inappropriate! You can’t call here this late. I have a son and an elderly mother living here.”

“I’m so sorry Faith,” he’d said apologetically, “It’s not that late in LA and I’d forgotten about the time difference. I just really wanted to hear your voice. I can’t stop thinking about that night on the plane. I want to kiss every inch of your naked body. I’m dying to make love to you again.”

She’d been repulsed not turned on by his words. It felt so dirty, it made her feel like she had made a huge mistake sleeping with him that night. But the evening had been so magical, she hadn’t even felt like herself and she’d wanted to do something completely out of character and passionate. She’d let her fantasies outweigh her good judgment. She wouldn’t make that mistake again.

“We have to talk when you get back to town Rory,” she’d said to him in a tone of voice that left no doubt about what their ‘talk’ would be about.

“Are you breaking up with me?” His voice had sounded almost hollow.

“No Rory, I’m not breaking up with you because we’re not in a relationship. I’m just not sure we should keep dating, that’s all. I think maybe we’re in two different places in life at the moment. You’ve got an amazing career and you’re obviously ready for a relationship, but, I’m just getting started in a real career. I’m going back to school, and I recently lost my husband and I just don’t think this is going to work out between us right now. It’s not you. It’s me Rory, it truly is. My son isn’t ready to see me with anyone new yet…”

Her outpouring of words was met with only silence. She didn’t even know if he was still on the phone.

“Are you still there?” she asked.

“I’m here,” he said in a small voice. He didn’t even sound like himself.

“I’m so sorry Rory,” she said, gently this time. “It wasn’t my intention to talk to you about this over the phone, but you have to admit that you can be pretty persistent.”

“I just don’t understand why you don’t want to see me anymore. Didn’t you have a good time the other night?”

“Yes, of course,” she told him, a little impatiently now. “But, I told you the other night, my life is a little crazy right now. My relationship with my son is the most important thing to me, and he’s having a hard time seeing me with anyone else. I can’t jeopardize my bond with him over a man. Not even you Rory, and you’re very hard to resist. You deserve to be with someone that feels the same way about you that you feel about her.
”

“I only want to be with you,” he told her.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I have to get off the phone now, but why don’t you stop by the Visitors Bureau tomorrow during my lunch and we can get something to eat and talk this out, okay? Around 12:30?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow Faith,” he’d said and hung up.

That was last night, and now here it was 12:15 and she was dreading seeing him walk through the door knowing that she’d have to be strong enough to look into his gorgeous face and tell him she didn’t want to be with him.

The truth was that she couldn’t stop thinking about their night of passion on the plane either. Every time she remembered taking his long, hard length inside her she felt goosebumps on her arms and her nipples hardened at the way he felt thrusting into her.

She’d only had sex with three men in her life, and the first two had been childish, short lived experiences that were mostly fumbling hands and arms and declarations of teenage love. Nothing to be remembered with ecstasy the way she had been reliving Rory’s body over the last few days. And of course, her third lover had been the love of her life, Mac. He had been experienced and confident when he took her for the first time when she was 19-years-old. And every time they’d had sex after that, she’d felt herself melting into his arms. With him she’d felt like a tiny doll and loved feeling controlled by his big arms and body. With Rory she’d felt like a living, breathing woman and she felt even sexier with him than she ever had with Mac.

It wasn’t a bad thing with Mac, she hurried to tell herself. It was just different. They were both wonderful lovers, but she felt different with them, which was how it should be of course. It would have been awful to find herself thinking of Mac in Rory’s arms, but there had been no danger of that. Even now when she let herself remember how delicious his lips felt on her breasts, she didn’t accidentally compare his mouth to Mac’s or his penis to Mac’s. They were both wonderful, it was just that Rory was also a famous celebrity, which added to the excitement of it.