Faith Revisited (21 page)

“Bale?” By the way the two were reacting, Faith was becoming very concerned, even a bit frightened.

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“When we get to our room, Faith.” He stopped and met her gaze. “For some, the tale is too distressing to relive. I will not torture the others, not any more than I already am.”

She was taken back by his words but didn't demand an explanation. She followed him silently up the stairs and to his room. When he motioned for her to sit on the bed, she did so, though with great wariness.

“It is true many Grigori had spouses, but not many were heart mates. Those were few.” He paused, glancing down at her hand, which was encased in his much larger grip. “You know I had a wife.”

Faith looked away just as he met her gaze. The mention of his wife brought a sick feeling to her stomach. “Do I even want to hear this?”

“Probably not any more than I want to speak of it.” Bale caressed her cheek, bringing her gaze back to his. “I cannot lie to you. I did love Thea and our daughter, Callisto.”

“Daughter?” Faith whispered, feeling as if she'd just been punched, and an irrational hatred of Bale's wife settled over her. She pulled away from him and rose to her feet. She couldn't sit there touching him, not when he was ripping out her heart.

“She was just three when Lucifer told us the Athenian army planned to attack. Many were jealous of the advances we had helped the people of Atlantis develop, so the notion that someone wanted to war with us was not a new one. But this time we had so much more to lose, and we decided to attack first. It was a slaughter. We killed them all.” Bale glanced back down at his hands, flexing the fingers that had just moments ago held Faith's hand. “When we returned to Atlantis, it was gone…had just disappeared…our families with it.”

Faith felt his pain and pushed hers aside, kneeling before him and taking his hands into hers. “So you were not punished for taking a wife but for harming humans. Arak mentioned how you could turn into an archdemon for breaking your pledge.”

“Yes.” Bale squeezed her hands. “This is why I tried to push you away. While I cared greatly for Thea, I never needed her with every fiber of my being. My soul did not scream in agony when I lost her. I wanted to avenge the death of my family. I wanted to slaughter every one of Lucifer's children. And I still do. But Thea's death did not cripple me.” Bale pulled a hand free and lifted it to her face. “You… I could not survive losing you. And I was so afraid my selfish longing would result in your death.” Bale grew silent, and Faith waited as he seemed to consider his words. “But maybe there is hope. If the angels are allowed mates, children…”

Faith lunged backward, breaking free from him as she choked back a sob. She fled into the bathroom, praying Bale would not follow.

“Baby, what is it?” he demanded, coming up behind her as she stood hunched over the sink.

Faith's hands closed into fists, her nails digging into her palms. She didn't fight him as he turned her around.

“Don't go getting your hopes up,” she said with extreme bitterness. It was better to get this over with now than to drag the relationship out, to end things before Bale's disappointment ate away at her. “You don't want me.”

His eyes narrowed. “What is this nonsense? I just told you I couldn't survive without you.”

“You'd better learn. You need to find yourself a human mate, because that child you long for is something I will never be able to give you.” A look of confusion settled over his features, 92

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and she continued, her tone harsh. “Even male vampires turn to humans because we cannot give them the children they want.”

Bale sighed, pulling her rigid body into his arms. “Faith, I have lived thousands of years thinking I would never hold you in my arms, never feel your body wrapped around mine, never wake with you beside me. To have those things is enough. If children are never a part of our lives, that is okay.”

A tear slid down her cheek, and she shook her head. She did not believe him. She had seen the look on his face when he had mentioned his daughter. He might have loved his wife, but it was his daughter who had owned his soul.

Bale pulled her closer, his lips near her ear. “Baby, the hope for a child is just that—a hope. How do you feel sharing your life with a male who is not able to impregnate you?”

“I have never before considered having children,” Faith whispered against his shoulder.

Why bother contemplating what she could never have? And without a male in her life, it hadn't seemed important.

“But miracles do occur. The reason Remy and I were so shocked about your Principal having children is because when Atlantis sank, we Grigori lost our ability to have children. We had assumed the same held true for angels.”

“Miracles.” Faith scoffed. “Ask the female in the nest I was raised in who repeatedly tried for a child but always lost it before the fifth month. Miracles don't occur for my species. And if by some chance I
did
conceive, only to miscarry? How could you remain with me knowing it was possible to have a child with someone else?”

“Losing our child would hurt. But would I stop loving you? Or regret that you came into my life? Never. Think about what you are asking, Faith. You are my heart mate, my other half.

With you, I am whole. How could I ever regret that?”

Faith stilled when Bale mentioned love. She'd never stopped to consider anything deeper than lust, had not allowed herself to hope for affection, much less love. While her mind understood that mates naturally loved each other, up until this moment her heart had not believed.

“What?” Bale stepped back from her and held her at arm's length so he could study her face.

She shook her head. She did not have the courage to point out he'd used the word “love.”

He wanted her. He thought he needed her. That was enough.

Bale smiled. “This is where you are supposed to tell me you love me also. Because I love you so deeply, it makes my chest ache.”

Faith did not realize tears were streaming down her face until Bale whispered, “Hey,” as he brushed them away with his thumb. She threw herself into his arms.

“I love you, Bale. God, I never thought I'd ever utter those words to anyone. After the way my father treated my mother, I never wanted to. And then you came along and tilted my whole world off its axis.”

Bale chuckled. “Well, I wasn't exactly prepared for you either, Faith. I'd made a vow, but if you were dumped into my lap to test me, it's a test I will gladly fail.”

“A vow?” For the first time, Faith believed Bale's practice of celibacy was more than just words.

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“I told you I had given up all carnal relations. I was not joking.”

“Oh, Bale,” she whispered as she was hit with a wave of guilt. Because of her and her need for blood, this male had disregarded a pledge he'd made to himself and to his God.

“Shh.” His lips brushed gently against hers. “I am not the only one who sees you in a hopeful light. Many lost far worse than I. Both Remy and Arak lost their heart mates. Remy's belief in Dara's return has never wavered.”

“And Arak?”

Bale's eyes filled with sadness. “Saraknyal is no more.”

“I don't understand.”

“She was not human, but one of us—a warrior. She would have been with us had not Remy's mate been so close to giving birth. Saraknyal decided to stay behind to protect those we'd loved.”

“He must resent me,” she said hoarsely.

“No. Never think that. Arak has not stopped campaigning for you since the moment I brought you home with me.”

“You make it sound like a war,” Faith murmured with a small smile.

“It was. I fought hard against the knowledge that you were my mate.”

Her smile turned into a frown. “Thanks a lot.”

Bale wrapped an arm around her waist and yanked her hard against him. “I told you, I was afraid. Now I need to take a shower. How about you join me?” His voice grew husky as he leaned down, his lips hovering a fraction of an inch from hers.

Rising on her toes, Faith closed the distance, kissing him quickly before dropping back down to her normal height. “I've already showered. I need to get home so I can change for work.

Doors open at seven.”

Bale's eyes narrowed. “You are home.”

“I am?” she asked with a teasing lilt to her voice. The soft growl that escaped his chest drew up the corners of her lips. “Are you sure you're not a shifter?”

“Don't tempt me, baby,” he warned in a soft voice. “I've been dreaming of tying you to our bed since the first time you mentioned leaving me.”

Faith snorted as she backed away from him and folded her arms across her chest. “Uh-huh.”

Bale grinned just before he rushed her, lifting her and throwing her over his shoulder. Faith beat at his back halfheartedly, laughing the entire time as he carried her from the bathroom and dumped her onto the bed. He was on top of her before she could even sit up, pinning her hands above her head and nuzzling her neck.

“Where is your home?”

“Twenty-eight forty-two South King Street,” she said, giggling as she squirmed under him.

His teeth nipped her skin, and his growl of displeasure reverberated in her ear before his fingers began teasing her sides. “Where?”

Faith's giggles turned into bouts of laughter as Bale increased the pressure, tickling without mercy. “Here,” she cried. “Here with you.”

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“Good answer,” he whispered as he stared down at her, his face radiating satisfaction. “I live a dangerous life, and I won't tolerate knowing my mate is vulnerable. I want you here with me always. No. I need you here with me.”

“Well, okay, then.” Faith wrapped her arms around Bale's neck. “But with everything that has been going on, I worry about Hope being alone. And I hate to just leave her. Anyway, what about all my stuff?”

“We'll work it out. As for your sister, she is now under my protection. Your family is my family.”

Faith felt her insides melt at his proclamation. “Who would have thought under all that muscle lived the soul of a sensitive male?”

Bale snorted. “No. Just a dominant one. What's mine stays mine. Now, are you sure I can't convince you to join me?”

“Sorry, but no.” She grinned at his look of disappointment. “And you have about twenty minutes before I leave. I suggest you make the most of it.”

“You leave this fortress and you will find yourself tied to this bed. I've never been into whips and chains, but baby, with you I could make concessions.”

Faith pushed at his chest as she glanced over his shoulder at the watch on her wrist. “Tick.

Tick.”

“Tick, tick, my ass,” Bale mumbled as he rose off her and strode into the bathroom. But he proceeded to take the quickest shower of his life, because he did not doubt for a minute Faith would hold to her threat.

As he got dressed, concealing more weapons than usual on various parts of his body, he glanced over his shoulder at her. She sat on the bed, fidgeting impatiently. “I have to attend the nightly meeting before we head out.”

“Bale—” She began to protest, but he cut her off.

“I meant what I said, Faith. You try to leave without me tonight and this abbey will become your prison. Another half hour won't kill you.”

“Do I have any choice?” she mumbled in annoyance.

“No.” Bale turned to hide his grin, but Faith caught a glimpse of it anyway.

“Bastard.”

He chuckled as he pulled her into his arms. “I'm the bastard who loves you,” he added, and she couldn't help herself; she melted right into his embrace. “Will you need to feed tonight?

Because I'd prefer to take care of that here instead of at the club.”

“No. I should be good for another day or two.”

He searched her face. “Are you sure?”

Faith nodded.

“I can't say I'm not relieved you can go some time without needing me. If something were to put me out of commission for any length of time, your health will not be at risk.” His lips nipped lightly at her neck. “But you don't need an excuse to bite me. It feels so damn good, I could become addicted.”

She met his grin with a soft smile. “You are not the only one.”

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“Then we'll have to work something out,” he murmured, tightening his arm around her briefly.

Anything else Bale might have said was lost when a knocked sounded on the door and Arak called through the wood, “Meeting in five.”

Bale sighed. “But first, duty calls.”

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Chapter Eleven

Faith felt very self-conscious when six pairs of eyes turned to her as she and Bale entered what appeared to be a large dining room. Males were scattered about the area, some sitting at the large wooden table, others on a leather couch and a set of chairs in one corner. She was familiar with them all, at least by sight, except one.

And this male was different. He was large like the rest, with dark auburn hair that fell to his chin. But it wasn't his looks that set him apart. It was his manner of dress. A tan Stetson covered his head, while brown and black cowboy boots encased his feet. He wore brown chaps—not the biker variety Kash preferred, but those with actual fringes—over blue jeans and a Garth Brooks T-shirt.

The only other male who quite possibly stood out any more was Levi, in his black wool slacks and gray silk button-down shirt. The rest looked like members of a biker gang. Shit, for all Faith knew, they could be.

Behind them, Kash entered the room with Hope. Faith went to take a step toward her sister when Bale wrapped his arm around her waist, turning to survey the other males in the room.