Faith (The Fast Love Collection Book 1) (10 page)

“That one is Batman.”

Jasmine pointed to the black one her finger slid over the glass to the white fish.

“And that's Robin.”

“Wow, they're cute. And so lucky to have such a great home.”

She nodded and looked at me.

“Daddy used to have big fishies in here. Mommy didn't know how to care for them and they died, she said they're in heaven with daddy. He's going to look after them now.”

I bit back the pain, feeling my heart crumbling.

“Jaz, why don't you go and wash up for dinner?”

Jasmine turned to Archer, offering a slight nod as she walked away.

“I can't do this Archer.” I whispered.

“It's only dinner Rox.”

“No I mean this.” I gestured to the fish tank, to the house. “I can't raise a dead man's kid.”

He wrapped his arms around me, engulfing me in his strong embrace as he whispered that I couldn't get rid of him that easily.

Chapter
Sixteen

Light from the moon shone over us as we laid in bed, facing each other and discussing the universe and everything within it. Well as much as two people could discuss such things. We were doing our best to avoid submitting to our carnal desires, trying to learn about each other for the sake of the maybe baby.

That's what we'd named it. It, Archer didn't like that term. The unknown possibility was named maybe. Maybe might be a he. Maybe might be a she. Or maybe might not be there at all. I didn't know what to think about that one.

Dinner had gone well, Kira and Dane were great cooks and looked like they were meant to be together. And just as Kira had predicted, Georgia had warmed to me before dinner had even started. She wasn't braiding my hair but we did discuss baby names. Throughout the conversation I could feel Archer watching me, listening to everything that was said. Was he mentally deciding maybe's name too? I know I was.

It was a subject that I was eager yet incredibly wary of discussing with Archer. Not wanting to get my hopes up or down, not wanting to admit that I was becoming more hopeful with each minute.

Once dinner was done and we were ready to leave, Mathias gripped me in yet another huge and dominating hug. Kira smiled at me like she knew what it was like to be subjected to overbearing affection of a scary man. Because yes, Mathias looked big and mean. But underneath the bravado and seemingly gruff attitude was a man that was sweet and cuddly like a teddy bear, not that he'd ever admit it. He gave his son a hug that wasn't so different to the ones that I'd received, the only difference was that Archer looked like he wanted to be elsewhere. Maybe the Arctic circle was far enough for him.

Apparently men don't hug other men, regardless of their relationship to them. I had shaken my head with mild disgust, men do in fact hug other men. What he was referring to was a sappy style hug, which he'd received from his father. Men do the half hug thing while slapping arms or shoulders and holding hands. I'd laughed at the holding hands part, telling him that it sounded more sappy than the other. It earned me a scowl and he almost left me behind.

What Archer couldn't see was a man that had lost one son already, appreciative of the one that was still here. Grateful that he was alive. Children robbed of their father, a wife had lost her husband. Then there was the father and the brother who were left behind, already scarred by death. It was moments like these that made me realize how crappy life was.

Before we left, Kira had suggested that we meet up for lunch or something fun like that and to call her when things settled down. I didn't know what she meant by that and I wondered if she had some kind of womanly sixth sense about her. Unless Archer the bastard had told her. I couldn't call him a bastard for telling her after all, I'd told Eddie.

“Do you like my bike yet?” Archer asked softly.

A playful smirk crossed his lips as our fingers laced together.

“Maybe.”

The ride home was much better. To be honest, I found something completely exhilarating about being that free. I felt wild, alive, happy. Even though it pained me to admit it, I couldn't wait to go again. Problem was, if I was pregnant, riding would become rather difficult soon. I wonder how far along I'd get before Archer would refuse to take me.

“Maybe?” he whispered conspiratorially “You look like you enjoyed it. You're not lying to me, are you Roxy?”

“How about, distorting the truth?”

He chuckled and pulled me to his body, laying me to his chest. This was a very nice place to be, I liked it here. Metal music was playing softly, Archer found it soothing and oddly, so did I. It also helped to drown the sounds of the rhythmic movements from above us. I'd never noticed it before, noises around here were common. But now I did. Like an echo that got louder and louder, my mind focused on the gentle tap of their headboard against the wall, the springs of their mattress squeaking.

“They're nothing like us, are they?”

Archer laughed.

“She's probably laying there wishing he'd hurry up and finish. What about you Rox? You scream it out that I'm not allowed to stop. Bet he's envious.”

He paused for a moment, his body tensing as his fingers stopped dancing over the edge of my shoulder.

“I saw something the other day.”

Now it was my turn to be tense.

“It was the day I was cleaning the gutters. Do you remember that?”

“Yeah.” I said uneasily.

“Don't think he knew I was there, I mean, I was behind the tree for a bit but the ladder was kind of obvious, right?”

“Sure.”

Now I was curious, was it Ken that held Archer's attention that day and not me? I could hope so.

“He was on the balcony, looking through the panels on the side. You were in the study then, weren't you?”

“Uh yeah, dusting.”

Distorting the truth again. It wasn't a lie, I had started to dust the bookshelves.

“Not sure what he was looking at but he seemed to be real interested.”

Oh crap. Window coverings were definitely happening now.

“It kind of seemed a little creepy so I made my presence known. I pretended that I was almost falling off the roof. He disappeared after that.”

So did I.

“Rox?”

“Yeah.”

“What were you doing in there?”

My cheeks seared with heat as I shifted on the bed, feeling really uncomfortable. Do I lie or do I admit that he had me all riled up? What was a worse thought than admitting the truth? Well that was the knowledge that Ken was watching me and probably did it a lot. The balconies for our units ended at the wall between the lounge room and the respective rooms. If he had the positioning right, he could see straight into my office.

“Roxy?” Archer said again, sitting up onto his side.

I rolled onto my back, covering my face with my hands.

“Not telling you.” I said, muffled by my palms.

He pulled one away and looked at me with a grin.

“Come on, you can tell me. Doing more housework again?”

No, far worse. I was
cleaning
with my special piece of equipment. With a curious frown a slight smile twitched.

“Were you being naughty baby?”

“No. Shut up now.”

Archer chuckled and pushed more.

“Were you naked? Spanking the monkey?”

I said nothing and the amusement dropped from his face.

“Really?” he whispered.

I nodded and sighed. “You were mowing the lawn, then you dumped the water over yourself and I was nearly dripping.”

“He was watching you.”

“Highly likely.” I said dryly. “He's always a little flirty with me.”

Anger flared in Archer's face as he threw the bed sheets off his body and stood from the bed.

“What are you doing?”

“Searching for my pants. Where did I put them?”

“In the laundry, why do you want them?”

One angry man stalked to the door.

“Gonna beat the fuck out of Ken.”

“Nooo, you can't be doing that.”

I threw the sheets off and chased after him, stopping him at the door. My hand crossed over to the other side, blocking him.

“Calm down angry man.”

“Rox, get out of my way.”

“No, Ken's a nice guy. He's just a little pervy, not something to deserve being beaten up over.”

His hands clenched tight as he rocked on his feet, eyes darting to the main door.

“He's married.” He grunted.

“And he's never made a move on me. Get real Archer, lots of married people perv on other people. Given the chance you'd be doing exactly the same thing, wouldn't you?”

“Yeah but I'm not married!” He said exasperated.

“Right.” I said rather interested. “So you're saying that once you're married you are never going to look at another woman again, is that right?”

His eyes flickered with uncertainty, wincing slightly as he thought about it.

“Because if that's the case, I'd like it in writing thanks.”

A wry smirk crossed his lips, his mood altering in an instant.

“Does that mean you're thinking of marrying me?”

“What?”

“You know, once I'm married, never looking at another woman, you'd like it in writing. To me that sounds like a woman who's picking out the church out.”

I backed away, feeling conflicted. I'd never thought that far ahead, I'd never even thought beyond next week.
Get the test done, then deal with the future.
Marriage? Nope, never crossed my mind. Wrapping my arms around my body, I shrugged and turned back to the bedroom.

His hand pulled my arm back, stopping me from walking away.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No.”

“Well explain the weird look and the even weirder and sudden mood swing.”

“I just...”

I looked up into those steely blue eyes, the ruggedness of his features that had come from a lack of shaving. Three day growth was seriously hot on him.

“I'm just tired Archer. Not thinking straight.”

His lips pursed and his eyes narrowed, he didn't believe me.

“I'm not about to get down on one knee Rox but I'm always going to be there for you. One day maybe but not now.”

Warm fingers skated over the skin of my stomach, sliding along the edge of my bed shirt.

“Got to deal with this issue first.”

“And get curtains.” I whispered, turning to the bedroom.

He chuckled, engulfing me into his arms as he walked us back to bed. I was doing a backwards and rather awkward shuffle, our lips meeting for a deep and slow kiss.

How could we even think of marriage so early on? It seemed preposterous, even if I might be pregnant. We hadn't even said those three magic words to each other and I wasn't expecting that at any time soon either. I had to be able to say it in order for me to expect it from Archer and I didn't know if I did or did not love him. It was too soon.

Was it? A week was surely not enough to know such things. As I laid back into his arms and listened to the oddly calming music, I knew I was already at odds with what Archer and I were. It wasn't love, not yet but I knew that I couldn't go a day without seeing him. If he wasn't with me in my arms or my bed, I'd miss him.

It had been a week, this time last week I was at Honeys and Archer was the creepy guy at the bar.

So much had changed in so few days.

We laid in the dark, contemplating so much. My fingers toyed with the strands of his hair that laid by his neck, his running the length of the shoestring strap of my bed shirt.

Was my life really a cataclysmic mess? Probably not. As a writer I had flexibility to raise a child without much issue. I'd figure this out, even if Archer and I went our separate ways, I'd be okay. I doubted that Archer would walk away from me or the child, it was something that was comforting yet constricting. I had money to pay for the child, even if Archer said that he was going to help out, I knew that I was never going to struggle. I had a support network everywhere around me, one that was probably enviable.

I wouldn't miss Honeys, not really. Eddie was always around, even if when he worked his odd hours. James was about to become a steady regular, I was positive that he and Eddie would go for the long term. Saffron would come back, it was a guarantee. She would be on the first available flight, if only to kick my ass for being so stupid.

Everything looked in order, everything appeared to be perfect. If that was the case, why did I feel so lost?

Chapter
Seventeen

Two graves, side by side, scrupulously clean. Archer removed the dead flowers from his mother's grave and the single rose from Kellen's, dumping them into the nearby garden. When he returned he put another lonely rose into the vase and then set about fussing over his mother's huge array of colorful flowers. The vases were part of the grave and even though I thought that no one would dare desecrate a grave, the vases had been glued to a cement pad.

Archer stood with a pained smile, wrapping his arms around me. I heard the thunder of motorcycles, piercing the quiet morning air.

“Time to go.” Archer whispered.

I would have thought he'd want to stick around but he seemed determined to leave, even moving through the cemetery the long way.

“Archer?”

“I go out of my way to avoid association now Rox, being near Kellen's grave is like putting the patch back on. A fallen brother is protected heavily, watched by everyone to ensure that their afterlife is a peaceful one. I don't need to be drawn back into their world when I've done so much to escape.”

“It's in your blood Archer, how can you escape when your father is the president? You still associate with them, you do work for them. You might think you're out but you're not.”

He huffed, opening the car door for me. I sat onto the passenger seat, watching as he rounded the car. Once we were on the road again, he finally spoke.

“It was in my blood and okay so maybe there might still be a little in there.”

“Sell your bike.”

“Piss off.” he growled.

“So it's more than a little then?”

His lips twitched with a wry smile as he glanced at me.

“Okay so a lot then. There's nothing I can do about being the son of a president, it's just something that I have to accept. As for the rest of them, I do bits of work for them but that's because I need income. Working on their engines is nothing Rox, they could ask so much of me yet they don't. As for associating with them, well I suppose it's because they're friends. Could you walk away from Eddie easily?”

“Nuh.” I scoffed.

Archer pulled up alongside a little shop, the door opened and a young boy walked out and put a sandwich board on the footpath.

“This place makes great ice creams and they use waffle cones.”

“Okay.” I said a little confused.

He got out of the car, I quickly followed earning a frown. Archer was one of those guys that did the door thing which I wasn't used to. Previous to him, they'd been the kind of guys that were a do it for yourself type.

Lunch was going to be back to front, fast melting ice creams first and then we would find somewhere for a late lunch. Which considering that my stomach was turning over constantly, I wasn't sure if I would actually need it.

Once we had the ice creams, we found a park that was more like a viewing platform for the ocean in front of us. It was out of the way, nestled in a cutaway in the rock face. The wall of rock loomed over us, perched at the top was the edge of someone's house. Someone really lucky I suppose.

We sat on a wood bench and ate our ice creams, looking out at the glistening ocean. Boats bobbed in the calm water, at the horizon there was a large container ship that was slowly making its way down the coast.

I had to say, Archer's idea of distraction was pretty damned good. And tasty. I liked mint chocolate chip.

As the sun shifted in the sky, our shaded seat became rather exposed. Deciding that we'd take a slow path to our lunch destination, we walked back to the car. Light dappled through the branches, shining onto the glossy black car. Archer's phone rang, I leaned against the car and watched him hesitate.

“It's okay, we can do lunch another day.”

He shook his head, frowning heavily as he walked over.

“Not ditching you Rox.”

Fingers danced at the hem of my dress, toying with the skin of my thigh. The phone stopped ringing and Archer smiled as his hand flattened to my skin.

“I know we agreed on this no sex until we know each other better but I gotta say, this short dress is very enticing. Are you trying to tease me intentionally?”

I shook my head and undid a button. Our secluded location had me ready to partake in a little outdoor fantasy. His eyes fell to my hands, watching as I undid more buttons, revealing that I wasn't wearing a bra under this summery dress.

The last button was popped, the panels of the dress fell to my sides and Archer's eyes grazed over me. He dropped to a squat in front of me, peeling my underpants down my legs. Parting them he kissed at the apex, looking up at me with fervent need.

Digging that tongue in deep, he lapped at the skin and melted my insides in an instant.

“Archer.” I said softly.

He looked up at me again, standing when I urged him to his feet. With a soft kiss he, pulled me into his arms as I unbuttoned his shirt. Holding me to his body, his hands washed over my back, underneath the dress that was hanging loosely from my arms. Being almost naked in a public place had me ready to go, I didn't need to be warmed up.

Archer unloaded his phone and my underpants onto the front seat, removing a condom from his wallet before it joined the other things.

Returning to me, his pants were opened and the condom was on, ready for some opportunistic outdoor love. My legs wrapped around his waist as his lips danced gracefully over mine. It was the most delicate kiss he'd ever given me. With a gasp of relief from the both of us, Archer plunged deep into me.

“God I missed you Rox.”

His hips moved back and forth at a slow pace, the languorous rhythm was incredibly pleasurable.

“I missed you too.”

It wasn't a lie, I did miss our connection. This dialing it down was a terrible idea, all it did was add unnecessary strain on an already strained situation.

Rough fingers played with my breast, the other arm was wrapped around me, holding me tight. Continuous movement made the sensations build and as much as it was a misbehaving situation having sex outdoors, I couldn't help but think that this was making love. A little warped but still, it was slow and tender.

Soft murmurs and grunts as our lips played out over each others, kissing softly.

“Rox.” Archer whispered as he stilled.

“Yeah.”

“Gonna finish before we get caught, okay?”

I smiled and nodded.

“Sure.”

“Gonna fuck you now. Feel free to tell the world how good I am.”

“Oh I intend to.”

He chuckled and started thrusting again, the momentum faster than before. My body flushed with a fast building orgasm, Archer's intense frown and panting was a serious turn on.

“You there?”

I nodded, my body arching back against his arm.

“Me too, come with me?”

“Yes.” I moaned.

Having Archer inside of me made me a molten mess of hormones regardless of how close to finishing he was but watching his mouth go slack as a croaky groan escaped him tipped me over. His body stilled, driven deep into me.

Lost eyes caught mine, pulling me to his body again he held me tight, a shudder of ecstasy rippling through him. Desperation burned as his lips crashed against mine, clinging to the last of the orgasm. Our encounter was cut short, the sound of a car coming down the track caused a flurry of movements and giggles.

As Archer opened the door again, I picked up the items on the seat and took a wary look at the young couple in the car.

“Is this some kind of known hotspot for outdoor fucking or something?”

Archer shot me a cheeky smirk and a shrug, shutting the door. Rounding the car he ignored my shocked face and moved a little quicker.

“I am appalled Archer. You brought me here to get into my pants.”

“Baby, I could do that anywhere. I brought you here for the view and to eat ice cream.”

He slipped the gear in and pulled away, leaving the love birds to their misbehavior. Stopping at the intersection he looked at me and my unimpressed face, crossed arms and death stare. Shaking his head he turned onto the road, laughing.

“Honest Rox, spur of the moment thing. You were just looking so damned pretty and then you popped the button, well I was never going to be able to turn away from pleasing you.”

Tilting his head, he pouted with sad eyes. I sighed and relented on the death stare.

“So where's this great place for lunch?”

“It's about half an hour down the road, bit of a trek but totally worth it.”

I nodded quietly and turned to the view out my window, the road snaked along the coast line and offered an unmarred view of the ocean. The sun sparkled on the water, still looking incredibly calm.

A warm embrace roused me from the idyllic view, our fingers laced together as we cruised down the open road. Turning back to him I smiled when he took a tentative glance, offering his own smile. It was a little restrained but it was happy.

Something deep within me sat up and took notice. I couldn't escape the niggling thought that I wasn't reading into this enough. There was no one that I could really consult about this, aside from my parents who weren't really pro-Archer at the moment. Eddie and James were new in their love, if it was that. And of course Eddie was the queen of the fabled lands of the men's room so he didn't really know much about long term love.

We were flying blind here and it was scary.

“Jacqueline.” Archer said, breaking the silence.

It had been blissful, even if it was a little awkward. Now I was dealing with a woman's name. One that went by another name as well. Mother. This I wasn't expecting though that was rather foolish considering we'd visited her grave this morning.

“Five years ago she started getting really tired, she was in pain but didn't tell anyone. It was too late, they could have operated but it was only going to give her a few more months so she said no. She wanted to spend time with her family, doing as much as she could while she had the strength. Dad even took time away from the club, can you believe it?”

He scoffed as if it was something truly unbelievable but for someone who had never experienced a lifelong love, I suppose it could seem unrealistic.

Archer's eyes darted to me, seeing the sympathetic and understanding girlfriend he offered a slight laugh, one that was filled with a lot of pain.

“Think he knew her time was up, quit his job and just hung around the house. He never said much about it you know, just that she was fine, taking one day at a time. We'd go and see her every day, ignoring her calling us a pest, she was only joking. Then one day dad rings and says that the nurses are coming over earlier than scheduled and to come over in the afternoon. I get there in the afternoon and the damned nurses are there, at their usual time. He'd fucking lied and she was gone.”

I understood the animosity now, Archer believed that his father knew his mother was about to die.

“Was he protecting you?”

Archer shrugged, not turning from the view of the road.

“You know, I'd like to believe that he was.” I said softly, unsure of how he'd take it.

His hands gripped the wheel tight, with a heavy sigh he nodded. One tiny step towards accepting that sometimes our parents do things to shield us from damage. We may not always agree with it, but they do it to lessen the burden and in this case, Mathias had done it to stop them from watching their mother die. It wasn't the greatest of situations but I couldn't find fault with it. Archer said they went and saw her every day so it wasn't as if they hadn't seen her in a long time.

I could honestly say that I wouldn't know what to do in such a situation. Be protective or expose them to the vision that would always haunt them?

“Kel was a mess, went missing for days after the funeral. Just got worse after that. He seemed to have some kind of death wish, trying to find someone to blame for a death that wasn't caused by anyone. Him and another member found a couple of new recruits for a rival club and gave them a good working over. A week passed, we were all walking around on egg shells, waiting for the retribution. By this stage I'd had my falling out with dad and walked away, packed my shit up and moved into a gated unit complex. I'd paced the floors for days, trying to ignore the voice in my head that was calling me chicken shit. Hiding wasn't helping me so I got on my bike and went back to the clubhouse. Made an almost peace with my father, we weren't really at odds with each other but there was a distance that I'd caused by walking away like that. Kel had calmed down a little but was still on edge. At the end of it I walked away, still not happy with life but found it a little easier. I went back to my little hole in the wall, it wasn't much better than a jail cell. I'd barely walked to the front door when my neighbor called out to me, asking if I'd heard about the gun fight on the other side of the city. He didn't know that I was in a club, I told him I was a weekend warrior. So that's how I found out my brother was dead. Damned news report on the television.”

I rubbed his shoulder, hoping that with a small amount of affection would release a little tension. It was a long shot but it was one that was worth taking.