Faith Unseen (8 page)

              “You’re kidding. They feel ugly, they have to look that way also.”

              “In other words, you think you are ugly so no one would want to date you?”

              “Yes.”

              “You are wrong.” He said sternly

              “No. I’m not.” She said just as sternly

              “Then why I am sitting here?”

              “We aren’t dating but to answer your question, I don’t know why you are sitting here? It wasn’t supposed to be that way. Yesterday morning, I was going about my business without any thoughts to you and I getting to know one another and now here we are.”

              “We are on totally different tracks of thought here.” He said

              “We are?” she asked

              “Yeah to some degree. Let’s go back and get on the same track.”

              “Okay, how do we do that?”

              “We ask questions and we make things clear.”

              “Okay.” She answered

              “Okay, first of all, when Leah first gave me slight confirmation that you might be behind all these things that kept just happening, I prayed and thanked God for a wonderful new friend. Are we on the same track of thinking we are friends?”

              “Yes. We moved into that pretty fast now that I think about it.”

              “In just a couple of days you mean?”

              “Yes. Maybe I should explain something so you’ll see my point of view.”

              “Okay, I’m listening.”

              “I’m used to being a voice on the phone. I help if I’m able, but I stay in the background. When you called me and asked for information on my work, I didn’t expect anything other than that. Even when you were brought on as our preacher, I didn’t expect anything. If I could help you I would. Once you mentioned something about meeting me at church or looking forward to meeting me I don’t remember exactly what you said but I remember my response. It was not likely. It wasn’t anything against you, but it was just my way to stay in the background. I never expected you to even care about finding a Faith who answered a couple of questions for you.”

              “One day, I heard you talking to someone about how long it was going to take you to paint your house. I thought I can help with that. Organize a couple of people, no big deal. The same way with the other things. No big deal. Why did you care who helped you?”

              “You’re kidding?”

              “No and I’m not done with my story. Anyway, I wasn’t going to be friends with Nathan Lindstrom, I don’t do friends. And I certainly didn’t think I did male friends. I was just going to be a member of your church and help when I could. So yes, the past couple of days have sort of caught me off guard. I have to adjust some thinking to understand a friendship between you and I. Does that make any sense?”

              “No it doesn’t. How could you not know what a wonderful friend you are to me and to others probably?” he said strongly and fiercely as he surged off the couch to pace the living room floor.

              “Wait a minute. Why are you mad at me? I told you my point of view.” Faith said loudly

              “And I didn’t like it.” Nathan responded loudly

              “What are you two yelling about?” Leah asked coming into the living room.

              “Nothing” Faith answered at the same time Nathan pointed to her and said “She’s got a screwy point of view.”

              “Oh dear.” Leah sighed

              “Then leave and this discussion can be over.” Faith said standing up from the couch. “I don’t need you for a friend Nathan Lindstrom. My life was fine before you came along wanting to know who helped you. You couldn’t just leave that alone could you?”

              “No, I didn’t like that mystery.”

              “Fine. I’m sorry.” She said misunderstanding his words she headed for the doorway. “Good night Leah. Good bye Pastor Lindstrom.” Nathan captured her hand as she went by and stopped her flight. He wrapped his arm around her neck and gave her another nuggie “I told you to stop apologizing to me.”

              “Let go of me.” she laughed

              “Are you going to sit down?” he growled at her

              “Are you two having fun?” asked Leah watching them wrestle around. “I am. You are very entertaining.”

              “Tell him to go away.” Faith stated firmly but still smiling “Tell her she’s impossible.” Nathan said still holding her in a headlock.

              “Then leave. I told you to leave two times now.”

              “Nathan, let go of her. Faith, sit down.” Leah stated ending their battle of wills. “I’m taking a stab in the dark here..” Leah said as they were both seated “She gave you her convoluted point of view about friends and you didn’t like it. I’m guessing that you even think it is as convoluted as I do.”

              “Yes, it is” he answered at the same time Faith stated “It isn’t convoluted.”

              “Yes, it is” they both shouted at her

              “Why do either of you care? And since when are you on the same side?”

              “There is no side Rach.” answered Leah “And I care probably for the same reason as Nathan. We know you are a great friend and we want you to see that about yourself so you will experience the joy of having friends. Including the stubborn ones like Nathan.”

              “Hey” he laughed “You were doing good up until that point.”

              “And you were blowing it. Don’t you know she has had years to perfect this convoluted idea and one day is not going to change her mind.”

              “What are you yelling at him for? He didn’t do anything.” Faith growled

              “Exactly. He reacted instead of calmly and rationally countering every silly idea of yours about friendship. Good night, I’m going to bed.”

              “I’m sorry.” They both spoke at the same time a moment after Leah left the room.

              “I don’t even know what to say first and we can’t possible cover all this tonight so here goes…I didn’t like not knowing who was helping me out so I kept investigating or pushing until I found out. That’s my nature. I do want to be friends with you and I think we may already be heading past that even in this short period of time. Maybe that’s why I kept pushing, to find a way to get to know you. One simple question, then I’ll head home.”

              “Okay, what is that?”

              “Are we on the same track now?”

              “That isn’t a simple question. And I’m not sure we are on the same track yet but we are much closer.” She stated quickly as she heard him start to speak. “I need a little time Nathan. Please!”

              “Time to blow me off or change your ideas?”

              “I hope to change my ideas.”

              “So give you a couple of days of space?”

              “Not necessarily. We talk and talk some more. We learn about each other. You may find something objectionable about me and then those concerns I mentioned last night are still an issue.”

              “I’m not even touching those tonight. My head hurts bad enough as it is.”

              “Are you okay?” she asked extremely concerned

              “Yes, just a certain beautiful lady has me so confused.” He whispered in her ear.

              “Knock it off. Go home and get some rest.”

              “I’m going but this discussion is far from over.” He said helping her stand. “We will finish this on Saturday if not before. I have a busy couple of days, but I’ll be in touch.”

              “Good night Nathan.”

              “Good night Faith.”

              Nathan waited on the porch until he heard the door locks and then headed for his car. His head really did hurt from the confusion and pain he had seen on her face. She really believed she didn’t have any friends. That was going to take some time to get her to see differently.

Chapter 5

              Saturday morning, Nathan knocked on Faith’s front door. He expected to hear the intercom sound but instead Leah opened the door.

              “Come in.” she gestured

              “Hi” he said stepping inside

              “Where are you going with my sister today?” she asked quietly

              “It is a surprise but you have my cell number in case you need us.” He whispered back “Now go tell her to bring a coat.”

              “You are no fun whatsoever.” She grumbled

              “I hear that a lot in my line of work.” He said as she walked away

              “Hear what?” Faith asked coming down the stairs

              “She told me that I was no fun. And I said I hear that a lot.”

              “Why did she say you were no fun?” she asked laughing

              “Because she wanted to know where we were going and I wouldn’t tell her. But she can call if she really needs us.” He said loudly for Leah’s benefit.

              “Where are we going?”

              “It’s a surprise. Grab your coat and anything else you need and let’s go.” He said anxiously

              Faith called to Leah for help in finding her coat and then they left in his car. They had talked frequently over the week but no more face to face conversations. She was still thinking and praying about where they were headed but she was beginning to think she already knew. Faith enjoyed his company far more than expected. He was kind, gentle, playful and easy to be around. He didn’t treat her as handicapped just someone who needed some extra assistance every now and then.

              She had been daydreaming and not really paying attention to the distance they had traveled so was unsure how far they were from her home. Nathan pulled into a parking space and then went around to help her out of the car. “Trust me, I know what I’m doing. I promise.”

              “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t trust you. Now where are we?”

              “We are going to spend the day in mountains. We are going to ride the tramway to the top and then enjoy the snow.”

              “We are at the tramway to the Sandia Mountains! I haven’t been here in years.”

              “I’m glad. Are you ready?”

              “Yes” she said tucking her hand in his arm “Thank you”

              “For?”

              “Bringing me here, I don’t have to see it to enjoy it and most people don’t understand that.”

              “I understand that. My grandmother taught me that.”

              “Then I’m grateful to her.”

              “She would have loved you.”

              “Really, why?”

              “The short list is that you are a wonderful, kind, loving,
helpful
person.”

              “Thank you.” She said shyly

              “You are welcome. Sit here and I’m going to go get the tickets.” Nathan said helping her take her seat.

              “You don’t get altitude sickness do you?” he asked as he returned with the tickets

              “No. I loved coming here as a kid.”

              “Good, let’s go unless you want to wander around down here first.”

              “Let’s go on the tram.” She said excitedly as she stood up. He tucked her hand around him arm again and they went to board the tram. Nathan positioned them near the back of the car. He stood behind her and whispered in her ear the things he was seeing as they ascended the mountain. She was picturing the images in her head and smiling at his words. “You are very good at this.” She said after a few minutes. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned over her shoulder “I’m glad you think so. I’m having a great time.”

              “
MmmmHmmm”

              After the car reached the top, Nathan waited until everyone else had left the car before he directed Faith out. It was cold outside. He was glad they had prepared for cold windy weather. He looked at her to see if she was too cold and found her smiling gloriously. “It’s beautiful. I can feel the sunshine on my face.”

              “And it makes you look even more beautiful.”

              Faith blushed and said a quiet thank you.

              Nathan and Faith walked and hiked some paths around the top of the mountain. He was still describing to her what he saw and she was appreciating the beauty even though she couldn’t see it. They were walking along quietly when Faith decided it was time to discuss something. “Nathan?”

              “Yeah” he answered

              “We need to talk about something.”

              “I know. We moved right past the friend stage, didn’t we?”

              “Yes, we need to slow down a little here. Don’t we?”

              “I don’t know the right answer. I like doing things with you, even arguing.”

              “Well, I hate arguing.”

              “But you do it so well.” He joked

              “I know, unfortunately. I like doing things with you too, but are we doing what we should be doing? Are we taking the time to discover each stage of a relationship? Are we seeking answers from the Lord or just doing what we want?”

              “I’m praying about what should happen many times during the day. Maybe something will come along as we progress, but I don’t feel like the Lord is closing this door yet. What about you?”

              “I don’t think so either. But we need to be cautious. You have a reputation to think of and we have a witness to protect.”

              “You wouldn’t hurt my reputation.”

              “Not for anything in the world would I want to do that, but we have moral code to live by and we don’t want to harm your standing in the church or make it seem like you are doing something unseemly.”

              “We haven’t done anything wrong.”

              “I don’t think so either, but would the members agree with us? You have touched me and some people might think that is wrong.”

              “I have to touch you. What am I supposed to do, lead you around with a rope so we don’t touch? Surely they would understand that.”

              Faith stopped walking which pulled him to a stop “I know that you have to touch me, Nathan. Look, don’t argue with me, listen to me. I don’t think the Lord is closing this door either but it still might happen and we need to watch for signs that the church is unhappy with you. And take the steps necessary to fix that if it should happen.”

              “Why would they have a problem with you?”

              “In case you hadn’t noticed why I need to hold onto your arm, I’m blind.”

              “That isn’t an answer to my question, you goof.” He grumbled

              “Okay, I’m presuming the same thing as before…assuming we progress to marriage, most people believe that the pastor’s wife has to be perfect and without flaw. She is held to a higher standard; she steps in to fill any open position and basically has to be superwoman. I can’t do all that.”

              “First of all, you are selling yourself short. You can do anything and before you argue with me, I don’t want to discuss that right now. Secondly, people are wrong in the way they expect a pastor’s wife to be, and I would tell whoever mentioned it to me. No matter what my wife’s physical condition was, she can’t be anything other than what God has planned for her.”

              “I’m not disagreeing with you but it could be an issue to some of the church members and we can’t just be blind to that fact.”

              “I hear what you are saying; we need to be cautious and prepared.”

              “Yes, I’m not going to announce to everyone tomorrow that we had an excursion today. Leah is the only one who knows and I’d like to keep it that way until we are sure of God’s plan and timing.”

              “For the most part I agree, if you want to tell the rest of your family, I don’t mind.”

              “I haven’t decided yet. I will not treat you any differently at church than I have the other weeks you have been here.”

              “So you are going to call me Pastor Lindstrom?” He groused

              “Maybe.” She joked “No, I probably couldn’t pull that off now. I actually need to apologize for that. That day I called you Pastor Lindstrom partially was because of respecting your position and partly because I was nervous. It was rude of me and I didn’t mean to be. Leah had already started in on me with her matchmaking and I let it get to me and reacted the wrong way. I’m sorry.”

              “I accept your apology.” He said squeezing her hand and then tucking it back in his arm and continued hiking. “Are you warm enough?”

              “Yes, I’m fine. Can I ask you a question?”

              “Sure.”

              “What do you look like?”

              “Oh man, I knew that would come up. Ask Leah.”

              “Believe me, I will eventually but now I’m asking you.”

              Nathan laughed at her comment but went on to describe himself in as few words as possible. “I’m six four, blue eyes, blond hair and I wear contacts.”

              “That’s it, that’s all you are going to tell me?” she laughed when rushed through his description.

              “Yes.” He hissed at her as she laughed at him. “I repeat, ask Leah.”

              “I was going to, but I couldn’t take her gloating anymore.”

              “I think we better get used to it, I doubt she is going to stop.” He laughed. Faith agreed with him and they continued on their hike. When their legs got tired and cold, they headed back to the tram car and headed down the mountain. Nathan again stood behind her and whispered to her what he saw. As the reached his car, Faith maneuvered to where she was facing him she thought. “Thank you for bringing me here, it was wonderful.” She as she hugged him.

              “You are welcome. I had a great time.” He said returning her hug. Nathan helped her into the car and then joined her. He took her to a cozy, warm restaurant that wasn’t too busy so they had plenty of time to talk and get better acquainted.

              As they arrived at Faith’s house, Leah had a message that their mother had called and they were to go over to her house for lunch after church the next day and that Nathan probably had a message at his house with a lunch invitation also.

              “Okay, sure. I’ll call her when I get home.” Nathan stated as he helped Faith with her coat and all three moved to the living room. Nathan and Faith finally filled Leah in on what they had done that day.

              “Sounds like fun.” Leah agreed. Leah and Nathan continued their conversation as Faith interjected every once in a while. Leah invited Nathan for dinner again but he had to work on his sermon and needed to be heading home. He told Faith goodnight and Leah showed him to the door. They were still talking several minutes later as Faith walked downstairs to her office.

              Thursday night, Leah and Faith had a meeting at church. After the meeting, Leah was leading Faith to their car when she remembered that she needed to ask Nathan a question. “I’ll wait right here for you.” Faith agreed and sat down on an outside bench. It was several minutes later when Faith heard some other church members pass by and overheard their conversation.

              “Did you see Leah and Nathan talking just now? It would be so wonderful if they got married. They could do so much good here.”

              “They did look pretty cozy. But what about Faith, doesn’t Leah take care of her?”

              “She could move back home with her parents if they got married. She won’t ever get married, she couldn’t take care of a household or a husband. Someone thought they saw Nathan and Faith together earlier this week, I’m glad they were mistaken. Can you imagine her as a preacher’s wife?”

              “No, she can’t do anything. She wouldn’t be any help to him.”

              Faith sat stunned on the bench as the voices drifted off. She recognized their voices and knew who had these thoughts about her. She had had those thoughts too but to hear them voiced by someone else hurt beyond anything she could imagine.

              Leah and Nathan had gotten along rather well this week. It had all started as he had dropped her off last Saturday. And then on Sunday, Leah and Nathan had joked and laughed as he drove them out to their parent’s house and all throughout the afternoon and again on the ride home. They hadn’t excluded her but they had had plenty to talk about. Nathan had called a couple of time this week but not as much as the week before and each time it had been Leah who answered the phone. They talked each time for several minutes before Leah handed the phone to Faith.

              Faith sat quietly holding back the tears as she waited for Leah, she wanted to be alone but was dependent on Leah. Those ladies had been right that she couldn’t do anything for herself and would never be a help to Nathan.
Dear Lord, I understand your message, you have closed the door on Nathan and I. Thank you for making it clear. Amen.