Authors: S. A. Wolfe
“Good. Nice to hear. There are a lot of women in my family: aunts, cousins, nieces. Someone is always having a birthday or a graduation, nothing else to that story.”
“You’re lucky I believe you.”
“I’d never lie to you.”
“So smooth. You’ll see me in forty-eight hours, waltzing, hot stuff.”
“Ah, shit. Imogene, I can’t make the class. I can’t come back on Wednesday with Dylan. After we check out of the hotel, I’m going to see my family in Brooklyn. I promised my sister and brothers I’d come and help deal with a family situation for a couple of days.”
“Oh. Is it something bad?”
“Nothing major. Hey, we’re going camping.” His voice is suddenly bright as he changes the subject.
“Okeydokey,” I say lamely, wondering why he’s not telling me what’s going on.
“I wish I was there with you. Your little hometown that you think is so boring is paradise compared to what we’re dealing with here. And Dylan is a fucking maniac. He made me go running with him in Central Park before dinner.”
“Oh, see? You two get to bond more.”
“Hardly. It was like chasing a Greyhound at the dog track. Hey, my phone is going to die any second. I have to find the charger. You should go to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
After we end the call, there’s an obvious tug in my chest, a yearning to see him, talk to him, feel his cheek against mine. It’s too much like heartache because this all seems too wonderful, and I’m worried it won’t last. There’s a rush of sadness when you’re elated about a new person, but you know something is hidden and fear it’s not trivial.
I’m a small town girl who has grown up in the comfort of a tight community, giving the illusion I have a big family and many siblings. There’s no escaping my friends and family.
Cooper is a city guy who actually comes from a very large family, yet I know very little about them, and he doesn’t volunteer much. He subtly dances around the topic of his family in conversations, leaving a void, gaps that should have been filled in by now. Being used to talking about my parents on a regular basis and seeing them practically every day, the absence of Cooper’s family—or rather, the lack of him mentioning them—concerns me, especially when his usual cockiness and humor are replaced with a sudden evasiveness.
An hour later, as I’m about to doze off, my phone pings with a text from Cooper that ends my night with a very big smile:
I know your phone has 1000 less numbers in it, right? I shouldn’t be listed at the bottom under V. Put me under B for Bring Me To My Knees. Night, baby.
Twenty-One
In terms of work, the week goes fast. Lauren and I get to the studio by seven where I put in twelve-hour days, but in terms of missing Cooper, it’s goddamn agonizing. Every day at two o’clock, Lauren begins to fade rapidly, a sudden drowsiness she can’t control, so Leo takes her home to nap. When she returns by four, she’s refreshed and wound up again. I use her naptime to call clients and make my own imprint in the back room office. I also always make a quick call to Cooper to hear his voice.
On Friday, he has to excuse himself to find a quieter room to speak to me. In the background, I can hear constant commotion, children screaming and adults shouting for them to stop running in the house.
“Whose home are you at?” I ask, overly excited that he’ll be back in Hera in a few hours.
“We’re all at my mom’s place today.” He sounds tired, and once again, he’s not divulging anything new.
“Is it always that crazy around there? Is everything okay?”
“It’s always loud here. Sometimes I walk across the street to go to my dad’s house to get some peace and quiet in my old bedroom.”
“Cooper, do you know how strange it is for me not to know anything about your family? You know all the important people in my life, and you’re just telling me now that your parents live across the street from one another? That’s plain weird. Maybe it’s a Brooklyn thing.”
Cooper lets out a small laugh. “They’re divorced. No, it’s not a Brooklyn thing. My family has a lot of stuff going on. I’m leaving here in an hour and going right to your house. How’s that?”
“How are you getting here? Dylan came back two days ago with the company truck.”
“I bought my brother’s old truck since the idiot decided he needed something bigger and more expensive. And I need a new vehicle because those dirt roads in Hera are killing my bike. I have to be able to haul stuff now that I have a
country
house,” he says with a deliberate twang.
“Okay, I’m going to close up here at five and go home to pack. I’m giving you the heads up. I will probably complain endlessly about the camping trip, but I’m looking forward to seeing you.”
“Looking forward? That’s it? That’s what you say in a letter you send to a parole officer. I thought you’d be climbing the walls, panting in heat for me.”
“That, too. I didn’t know how to say it without sounding desperate.”
“Imogene, it has been a long week. I want you to sound desperate for me because I’m sure as hell going crazy, thinking about you. And, as far as this camping trip goes, we can spend the whole weekend in our tent, naked.”
Everyone decides to meet at my house to follow each other on the drive to the campsite. I haul my bag outside and run down the porch steps, excited to see Cooper. I run by Lauren and Leo, who are loading coolers with food into Leo’s truck, and Emma and Dylan, who are securing their bags in the back of his Jeep. Then I wave to Jess as I rush by her and Carson as they organize gear in the back of his truck. I just want to see Cooper.
And there he is in faded jeans and a fitted gray T-shirt. He looks superb. He’s leaning against his new truck, smiling when he sees me huffing my way over to him with my overstuffed duffel. I drop the bag on the ground and throw myself at him. Unladylike and not so sexy, my weight slams his back against the truck, and he lets out a short laugh before sliding his arms around me for a tight embrace.
“Hi.” I smile and grip his shoulders, gazing at his handsome face and those silvery gray eyes that stop me dead every time.
“Hi, beautiful.” It rolls off his tongue in that seductive, deep purr that gives me a little shiver.
Then he leans down, his lips meeting mine in a long, tender kiss. I let my body fall against his completely as I savor his mouth.
“That’s enough, lovebirds.” Jessica claps her hands to get our attention. “We have to get on the road.”
Leo and Lauren drive around us and stop their truck in front to lead the caravan of couples to our destination. Cooper picks up my bag and tosses it in back, and then he opens the passenger door, staring at me as though he wants to say something.
“This is really nice for a used truck,” I say as he climbs in the other side. “It looks practically brand new.”
“Because my brother only had it a year before he decided he needed something else. I made him have it detailed before I drove back. It’s in great shape and more comfortable than making you ride on my bike everywhere.”
“You bought this because of me?” I blush, a little thrilled that he’s making decisions based on us as a couple.
“You’re the main reason, but it’s true that my bike wasn’t made for this off-road business. And I need a proper vehicle for carrying equipment. Come here.” He puts his hand behind my head and pulls my face towards him for another searing kiss. If the console weren’t between us, I’d climb into his lap and have my way with him.
The kiss ignites my bravado. I trail my hand down his chest to his groin and cup the hardness in his jeans.
“Nice package,” I mumble against his lips.
His breath intake pauses briefly as I palm him more firmly.
“This is going to be a painful drive,” he whispers.
A sudden honking makes us both jump apart. Through the back windshield, I can see Dylan and Emma in their Jeep, waiting for us to go. Even with his sunglasses on, I can see Dylan’s glower as he lays on the horn with Carson and Jess waiting in line behind them. Up ahead, Leo and Lauren have already driven down to the main road.
“Guess we better catch up,” I say with a little laugh. “We’re pissing off the Blackard brothers.”
After Cooper starts the engine and waves to Dylan in the rearview mirror, we drive down the hill where Leo’s truck waits for all of us. When Cooper shifts into high gear on the county road, I open my window and let the hot air blast my face and hair. I need this escape with him. I need to be with him away from home, family, and work. Although we aren’t alone on this trip, I’m hoping to squeeze in some time where Cooper and I can have longer stretches together that aren’t bound by the parameters of other obligations.
I study his profile as he drives. A long, blond lock of hair curves from his high cheekbone down to his strong jaw. Keeping one large hand resting on the wheel and the other on the gearshift next to my leg, he glances over at me and catches me staring.
“What?” he asks with a slight smile.
“You. I thought I had you figured out. I didn’t want to have anything to do with you because you seemed like another playboy who couldn’t offer anything more than superficial conversation and a good roll in the—” I almost say
hay
.
Cooper shoots me a look before turning back to the road.
“Sack. Roll in the sack,” I mutter. “But I like talking to you. That’s not it.”
“But?”
“You’ve told me a little about your previous work, and I think I understand why you quit and why you moved here … but for someone who loves talking to people and making friends here, I find it odd that you never say much about your family. And they don’t live far away.”
“Not everyone is as close to their family as you are.”
“I realize that, but I also felt like there was something else going on when your brothers and uncle came to visit you. It was nice to see you working with them, but in hindsight, I have a feeling you told them some topics were off limits with me. I got the sanitized version of one of your family gatherings.
“The cop stories were pretty funny, but they didn’t say one personal thing about you. Usually, people like to talk about entertaining childhood stories or current family stuff when they are being introduced to a girlfriend. That’s me, by the way. I’m the new girl, and they seem to like me, so why didn’t I get the girlfriend treatment?”
Cooper chews on his lower lip and stares straight ahead. Then he looks over his left shoulder to change lanes and play some kind of game of chase with Dylan on the interstate, anything to avoid my question.
“Well?” I ask. “Am I wrong?”
“No.” He glances at me. “You’re not wrong. There’s some tension in my family and some drama that I’ve been trying to stay away from. I don’t want to drag you into it. They do like you, though. My brothers and Uncle Fraser all think you’re pretty great. And you are.”
“So what am I missing? What don’t you want to tell me?”
He sighs with exasperation. “Imogene, I just spent two days with my family where everyone was in my face about every fucking problem in my screwed up family. I really want to be away from that and be here with you. Just you. Can we discuss my family another time?”
“Sure.” I shrug and turn back to look out my window.
Cooper gently squeezes my thigh. “I’m sorry if I’m making you feel insecure.”
“I’m not insecure about who I am,” I say defensively. “I like me.”
“I meant insecure about us. You touch your chin with two fingers whenever you’re …”
“Whenever I’m what?”
“Not being completely open,” he says grimly.
“You mean, when you think I’m lying. I’m not lying. I’m
omitting
the fact that I’m a little skittish about some things. I’m asking you about your family and life because you’re very vague about all of it. Maybe that’s a product or symptom of your former career, but if I’m your girlfriend, I should be in a position to have the highest security clearance with you.”
Cooper’s laugh breaks the tension. “You’re right, and in time, I will tell you more, but let me have this weekend with you, without my family drama.”
“Okay. Just remember, I’m a very good listener, and I promise to refrain from making any jokes at your expense.” I smile and take his hand, holding it in both of mine to bring it to my lips for a soft peck. Then I hold his hand up, pinched between my thumb and forefinger. “Here, you can have this back.”
He smiles and shakes his head, putting his hand back on the steering wheel.
“Maybe you should take Lois up on her offer to learn how to meditate. If you’re dealing with a lot of family problems, maybe meditation would be helpful.”
“I already meditate.”
“You do?” I ask, finding it hard to imagine Cooper chanting and sitting in the lotus position.
“Don’t look so shocked,” he laughs. “I don’t do group meditation classes or any of that stuff. I learned years ago how to deal with the stressful shit I was involved with every day. Before work and every night before I go to sleep, I spend about five to ten minutes putting myself in a complete state of relaxation where my mind isn’t thinking about anything.”
“I’ve never seen you do it.”
“When I’m with you, sex takes care of the mind-numbing for me.”
“Interesting. So when I’m not around, you meditate. Do you hum and have a mantra?”
“No. I sit down, close my eyes, change my breathing, and clear my thoughts. It’s harder to do than you think. It took me a while to get into it and make it effective. In
Siddartha
, he says meditation is
‘fleeing from the self.’
Basically, it’s an escape from the agony of being, and it numbs the senses
‘against the pain and pointlessness of life.’
”
“Well, that’s a big, fat downer.
Siddartha
?”
“Herman Hesse.”
“I know. I saw the book in your room. Oh, God, you’re not one of those depressing guys who thinks life has no meaning, are you? That really doesn’t suit you.”
Cooper chuckles at my summation. “Not at all. I like to read a lot of books to get different perspectives, but I don’t necessarily agree with everything I read.”
“You keep surprising me. In a good way, though.”