Faithfully (3 page)

             
I stayed on top of Alex with him inside me. I arched my back, placing my forehead against his. There was nothing I loved more than the closeness I felt with him after sex. With David it felt like an obligation, and when it was done there was no holding, talking, or cuddling. I often felt used, as if I was a convenient object available to use, but with Alex, he always tried to hold me and cuddle me. If he couldn’t, it was because we were rushed by the girls returning. He always apologized until I demanded that he stopped apologizing.

             
“You know, if you would just quit your job, we could do this all day and I wouldn’t be bored. What do you say? Will you quit your job to keep me busy?” Alex asked while running his hands up and down my back.

             
“Although it is very tempting, and at times throughout this sex act you could have gotten me to agree to anything, I can think clearly now, and the answer is no. Good thing you have that recording studio.” I sat up straight, getting ready to climb off him.

             
Alex quickly flipped me so that I was on my back with him above me. “So I could have gotten you to agree to anything? I’ll remember that the next time I have you begging for me to give you an orgasm.” Alex’s irresistible smile spread across his face.

             
I pushed Alex’s shoulder and pushed him off of me. “First, I was not begging, and second, I said almost anything, and if I didn’t, I meant to say almost anything.” He was always using my own words to back me into a corner.

             
“You did beg, and almost was not said.” He sat up on the bed, pulling me onto his lap. “I want to stay here all night and hold you, but I can’t. You need to get in the shower and I need to get home and clean up for dinner.”

             
Yes, dinner at my parents. Like every Monday night for the past ten years or so. Before the girls it was painful. There was no love between David and my parents, and the tension was always high. After we had the girls, he started to miss more and more. Alex refuses to miss and actually seems excited on Monday’s for dinner.

             
Alex kissed me on the forehead before standing me up. As he stood up and started walking towards the door, he turned and looked at me. “I know how much you love surprises, and I have one for you at dinner.” He winked as he walked into the hall to grab the clothes I had dropped when he scooped me up.

             
“You’re an asshole!” I shouted to him as I laid back on the bed. I was tired after the long workday, followed by amazing sex. I closed my eyes, thinking all I wanted was a quick cat nap. I might have actually dosed off for a second when I felt lips on my forehead again.

             
“You need to get up, because you lying here naked is fucking making me question this whole Monday night dinner thing.” I kept my eyes closed, but smiled while Alex talked. “Abby, seriously, get your ass up, because I want nothing more than to lie back down with you, but I look forward to this night with your parents and the girls. It’s nice having a family dinner.” I opened my eyes and aimed my smile at him.

             
“I’m up and I’ll be there, hating you for having a surprise.”

             
“I know that is why you love me.” Alex grabbed me by my arms, sitting me up. I did love him, but it was still hard to say it as freely as he said it to me. I did tell him, but the words didn’t flow like they should. I was scared that if he knew how much I really did love him, the easier it would be for him to hurt me.

             
“Okay, okay, go. I’ll get in the shower and wash your stench off me.” As I passed Alex, he swatted me on the behind. I ignored it as if it didn’t happen.

             
Once in the shower, I thought about his touch and about how much I loved it. I thought about how I feel with Alex and how my girls are with him. I thought maybe Lily was right. Alex had become a part of our everyday lives and us, so there was no need for him to be driving back and forth multiple times every day. There were a few things I needed to figure out with him first before I was confident this was a good idea.

             
I exited the shower and threw a towel around my hair. I quickly dried off and then went in search of something to wear. Dinners at my parents had seemed more relaxed since this past summer. My mother and I no longer bicker, and she no longer feels the need to criticize my every move. My relationship with Alex was one she was not fond of, but since he had moved here, her views of him had changed.

             
I had decided on a pair of skinny jeans, a V-neck t-shirt, an infinity scarf, and my Sperry shoes. Lately this was my dressy casual. I gave myself a quick once over before throwing my hair in a loose braid. I skipped down the stairs and grabbed the car keys and my jacket on the way out. I wasn’t really sure how it happened, but I was going to be on time for dinner.

~3~

             
I pulled into my parent’s house and saw Alex’s Jeep already in the big driveway. He usually beat me here on Mondays. When I walked in, I expected the usual scene. The girls in the living room watching television with my dad while finishing any homework they had, and my mother and Alex in the kitchen, with my mom cooking. This week, though, there was a difference. My mother sat on a stool at the island and Alex was the one doing the cooking.

             
My mother spoke to me first as I came in the door. “Hello, my dear. Go and pour a glass of wine and pull up a stool next to me. I’m just keeping Alex company as he finishes dinner.”

             
I skipped the wine, but grabbed the stool and placed it next to hers. I wasn’t sure how Alex was able to get showered and get to my parents in enough time to make dinner. I think he was reading my mind, because he was answering my question before I could even ask him.

             
“Your mother had me come over after coffee today and showed me how to make her homemade spaghetti sauce and meatballs.” Alex gave me a wink.

             
I was impressed, but slightly irritated. “Really? My mother gave you the recipe she won’t give me? The recipe I would use to feed her grandchildren?” I asked in a half joking and half serious voice. In a way it stung me a little bit. I had asked for years for that recipe. Her response was always the same – it was a secret.

             
“Abby, stop being so sensitive. Yes, I gave Alex the recipe. The same one I refuse to give to you. Not because I didn’t want you to have it, but because I liked it when you would call and I knew to make it. That way I got more than one dinner out of you girls for that week.” I appreciated her explanation, but I was still a little hurt. I understood her reasons as a mother.

             
“Well, I thought you were just worried I would make it better than you.” I had to have some sort of smartass comment or it wasn’t me.

             
“The sauce and the meatballs have been simmering all day. The garlic bread should be done soon along with the noodles. I’m going to cut up the veggies for the salad now and everything should be ready in a bit. Want me to get you a glass of wine?” Alex looked so proud of himself, and at the sight of him my jealousy over the recipe vanished.

             
“No thanks, I’ll grab some water in a minute. I’m going to check on Dad and the girls, unless you would like some help.” I wanted to jump in and help as I normally do on Monday nights, but I didn’t want to offend him.

             
“No, go see your dad. I think he wanted to talk to you anyway,” my mom answered for Alex. I looked at Alex for confirmation that he didn’t need my help. He responded with a smile and a head nod in the direction of the living room.

             
I walked into the living room and the girls were playing a heated game of Uno. They didn’t even notice when I walked in or sat down. I sat on the couch next to my dad’s La-Z-Boy.

             
“So what’s new? I haven’t talked to you in a few days because everyone has been so busy.” I usually talked to my dad every day, but the past few days he has been busy with the pub and I have been busy with the girls and Alex. I started to feel a little guilty. I haven’t once thought of calling and checking in on him.

             
“Bri, I was so wrapped up in this show I didn’t hear you come in.” My father was the only person to call me Bri. “What have you been up to, my girl? I’ve missed you.” I looked at him and, even though it had only been a few days, I had missed him too. After David’s death, my dad had been one of my rocks. He was the stand-in dad for the girls along with Derek. We talked every day, and some days we talked multiple times. I was his baby girl, his only girl, and child for that matter.

             
“I’ve missed you too, dad. Life has just been busy trying to adjust to a new routine and getting back into the swing of school. Half the time I don’t know if I am coming or going.” It was true, I was busy, but a lot of it was my own doing. I was allowing myself to become consumed in myself and my life with Alex and the girls, even though I was trying hard not to be that girl. I was still working one night a week and they were still taking the girls for the night. It had always been our thing and my way to give them a break from the pub.

             
“It seems everything has been busy since Alex showed up. I’m saying it in a good way. Since he has been in town and people are seeing him and you in the tabloids, it doesn’t take long to figure out in this town where the closest connection is to him. The locals don’t seem to bother with him, but the people coming in from out of town to get a glimpse has increased. The pub is now making what we normally do on a busy July day.” Living in a summer tourist town and working more in the summer, I put into perspective how busy it was getting.

             
“I knew it was busy since I’m still there on Friday nights, but I didn’t realize it’s been like that every night.” I haven’t been popping in and checking on Daryl and the others like I used to. I was starting to feel a little guilty about my lack of helping.

             
“Bri, honey, I’m getting old and I don’t mind the busy three months in the summer, because the rest of the year is calm. Lately it isn’t calm, and if anything, crazier and busier. I’m getting too old to be chained to the pub every day. I’ve been entertaining the idea of putting the pub up for sale,” my dad said with sad eyes. I knew he loved the pub and so did I. I had a lot of memories that took place in the pub.

             
In a way, I felt responsible for this. I brought Alex here, which in turn brought the crowds and people stopping in to get a glimpse of him or me. I even worked Fridays, and I haven’t paid much attention to the reasons why people were in. It was so busy that I was just trying to get to tables and give the people good service.
              “Has anyone made any offers on the place?” I was worried about his response, and if it was yes, I might cry.

             
“No, no, like I said, I was thinking about it. I haven’t done anything yet, nor will I without talking to you and your mother. Believe me, there will be no deciding anything without your mother involved. Could you imagine living with her if I sold without her input?” We both let out a chuckle, because we knew she would be a bitch to live with.

             
Just then the girls started to argue whether or not Josie had called out Uno or not, so I had the girls clean up the game. It was perfect timing too, because Alex had finished dinner and my mom was summoning all of us to the dining room table. As I walked in with my arm around my dad, Alex was placing the sauce and meatballs on the table. Everything smelled so good. I was impressed.

             
We sat around and ate. The girls monopolized the majority of the conversation. Most the time their voices rose higher and higher to get the attention so we would listen to one over the other. My mother had to hush them a few times. Monday dinners always seemed so chaotic, yet so relaxing. It’s a feeling hard to explain. Alex and I looked at each other throughout dinner. We never usually spoke to each other because we tried to keep up with the girls and their conversations. My eyes were currently connected to his when I heard the latest conversation. My head quickly snapped over to Lily. I was about to interrupt her when my mother held up a hand to my face. This was always her signal not to interrupt and to be quiet. The more I sat and listened to her, the harder it was to be quiet.

             
My mind was racing. I did not intend to discuss with my parents whether Alex slept over, and to have Lily campaign to my mother on the fact he should was driving me insane. I was not able to respond because my mother decided it was her place. She dropped her hand as she spoke to Lily.

“You
know, my dear, it isn’t your decision or mine. It is your mother’s and Alex’s. I do agree with you though that if the house isn’t a lot of money to Alex and he doesn’t mind it sitting empty at night, then let it sit empty.” I was shocked at my mother’s statement. I had spent the summer listening to her lectures on rushing things and jumping in and not thinking. Now I was sitting at a dinner table with her telling the girls she agreed with them on allowing Alex to spend the night.

             
Instead of saying something inappropriate or rude, I decided to stand and start clearing the table. It was getting late and the girls still had to have showers and read, because it was a school night. “Girls, why don’t you start gathering all of your things? We need to get you home and ready for bed.”

             
The girls carried their plates to the kitchen without complaint. I heard Josie ask Jasmine about dessert, but nothing was said to any of us still around the table. The girls walked to the entryway and started packing their things. My mother broke the silence in the dining room.

             
“Abby, why don’t you stay and help clean up here? It’s only right, since Alex did all the cooking. I’m sure Alex can take the girls home and get them ready for bed. He is used to helping out at bedtime.”

             
“Actually, that sounds like a really good idea, and I don’t mind.” Alex stood up while grabbing his plate and utensils. He took them into the kitchen.

             
Knowing I was not going to win, even if I tried to argue with this suggestion, I just kept quiet. I knew my mother was scheming, and instead of just coming out and asking me to stay and talk, she was manipulating everyone so it would happen. The woman was like a master puppeteer.

             
Alex walked back into the dining room and kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll see you in a little bit. Do you want me to keep the girls up so you can tuck them in, or can I read them their story?” I knew Alex liked tucking them in, but he knew it was my thing with the girls. He never did it without me asking him to. Alex was good about not overstepping any boundaries that he felt I set.

             
I looked up at him, hoping he would read my face and mind and find a way for me to escape this talk, but he didn’t say anything else, just waited for my response. “If I’m not back by 7:45 read them a story and tuck them into bed. I shouldn’t be long though.” At least, I was hoping I wouldn’t be long. 

             
I kissed the girls goodnight and watched them walk out the door with Alex. When I heard the door shut, my stomach was a little in knots. Something about my mother wanting to talk to me always made me uneasy, as if I was a child being scolded. I knew why I felt this way, because growing up she was always lecturing me. I could always do better or do it her way. Growing up I resented her, but now as an adult and mother, I could understand her parenting. Nevertheless, I would never parent the same way she did.

             
“Okay, shoot.” I even made the gun motions with my hands to lighten the mood. The look on my mother’s face showed she was far from amused. My dad started to laugh and quickly exited the room when my mother shot him a look filled with daggers.

             
“Can you ever be serious?” She grabbed a few dishes and walked towards me.

             
“Yes, I actually am very serious between the hours of 8am and 3pm. It is probably a good thing too, because if I wasn’t, I would be looking to you for a full time job.” I knew this would really get her going, but her sarcastic question required a sarcastic response.

             
“If this is how you are going to be, then just go home. You make it so hard on me to even have a normal conversation with you. I feel like I struggle to compete for your time while your dad gets so much of it.” She looked away and started to grab plates to scrape into the garbage disposal.

             
I wanted to come back with a smart response, but I could tell she was being honest, and I sensed a bit of jealousy over the relationship I had with my dad. I was a daddy’s girl, but he made it so easy. I could be me with him and feel no judgment. I wasn’t perfect and he never pointed it out to me.

“I’m sorry, I just feel like I’ve been called into the principal’s office and I’m about to be scolded. I get nervous and I tend to get witty.”

              “Depends on your definition of witty, and I’m not scolding you. We are just having a talk, mother to daughter.” She almost seemed pleased that she was able to throw in some sort of smart remark. I could tell by the slight smile on her face.

             
“Okay, fire away. What would you like to talk to your daughter about that we couldn’t talk about at dinner?” I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

             
“Alex.” She looked at me as she said it. “Why don’t you sit? You need to listen, so I will talk and wash.” I walked the few steps to the bar stool and had a seat. I sat quickly and quietly. What could she possibly say about Alex? I thought she liked him. This kind of stuff is what she used to do when she was trying to get me to divorce David.

             
“I heard about the conversation Lily had with you and Alex this morning.” I looked puzzled. Did Alex tell her when he was cooking here with her today? Why would he talk to my mom? It was a tad personal and I felt it was none of her business, unless he felt he needed her blessing to start sleeping over.