Fake (A Pretty Pill) (27 page)

She snorts.

“Money not great?”

She shakes her head, “
its okay.  Nothing remarkable considering what we do though.  But you don’t become an Army medic to be rich.”  She smiles.

No, you become one to escape being rich.

“I love you Isi.”

“I love you too, Silas.”  She says shyly, placing her head on my shoulder.

“Two fucking weeks.” I groan.

“No, two weeks without fucking.”

“Isi.”  I scold.

Isi.

“Isobelle, can I get you anything?”  Jade asks, placing cutlery on the table out the back.

“No I’m all good, can I do anything for you?”  I ask.  She’s carting food through from the kitchen, bowl after bowl.  And yet I know only the four of us will be here for lunch.

“Nah, the boys will be back soon.”

Silas moved into his new apartment yesterday, and my arms have pretty much healed up, though they’ll carry a bit of a shadowy scar each once everything is completely healed.  My shoulder is still meant to be supported in a sling, though I’ve shrugged it off since yesterday; however, I’m fairly confident that another week will see me fighting fit to contend with any attention Silas wants to give me.

I can’t help a smile escape me from the thought.

“I know those types of smiles.”  Jade says, bringing little Ben out in his rocker, complete with mobile stars and suns dangling in front of his face.

“I’m
sorry?”

“Why?
  Don’t be.”

“I shouldn’t be making it obvious.”

“What are you making obvious?”  Jade asks with a smile.

“I
” I’m struggling to talk.

“I get it you know
, you and Silas have sex.  It’s okay.  You make him happy and I know I can be a bit rude and blunt, but,” she shrugs, “I actually like you, despite the fact that I really thought I wouldn’t.”

“Thanks?”

“I hope he’s being gentle, shoulder injuries can be hard to heal.”  Jade points out, while grabbing a stick of celery and scooping up some dip and then popping it into her mouth and eating it.

“We…” what the heck, she’s obviously
not precious about these things; I’ll match her.  I’m not sure how I feel about her.  She kind of scares me.  But I need to just be myself and to hell with it.

“We haven’t had sex.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Nup, haven’t been there, struggle to pash for extended lengths of time too.”  I add.

“What’s wrong?”  She gasps.

“
Injuries and his desire for things to be perfect.  So if we kiss too much, we just kind of want to,” maybe this is going too far.

“Jump each other’s bones
?”  Jade finishes with a huge grin.

“Ah…
yeah.”

Jade shakes her head
in disbelief.

“We’re taking it slowly.” I assure her.

“There’s slow and there’s snail-paced.”  Jade scoffs giving me a cheeky grin that is reminiscent of Silas’.

“I know
.”  I groan.  And all of a sudden I realize I’m bonding with this woman.  I kind of like her.  She’s my age and I haven’t got anything to lose.  “I’m getting so desperate, my fingers are sore and my wrists are risking RSI.”

Jade chuckles
and raises her eyebrows.

“No BOBs at your place?” Sh
e asks.

“I share a room with a 43 year-old woman.  I can’t risk her waking up to the whirring noises of a vibrator.”  I explain.

Jade roars with laughter and it stuns little Ben.

“How much longer do you have to stay there?”

“It’s not mandatory.  I just don’t have anywhere else to live at the moment.  I’m considering one of the apartments Silas knocked back.”  I reply quietly.

“Why does that sound so forlorn?” she asks in response to my less than enthusiastic voice.

“Silas keeps getting upset when I mention it.  He isn’t so keen on the idea.”

“Why ever not?  You’d be available at
nights.  Hell, you’d be available to him around the clock.”

And therein lays the issue
, he wants around the clock possibilities.

“Well, he wants me to move in with him
actually and then we can share the rental.”  I explain.

“Oh
.”  Jade says and grabs a carrot stick this time.  “And?”

“I kind of felt we needed
more time before taking that step.”

“Damn,
you two are painful to hear about.  You remind me of someone else.” She chuckles.

“I don’t want to rock the boat.  I don’t want to be rejected
after taking such an important step I guess.”

“Does he scare you?” Jade asks.

“Sort of.” I sigh.

“His bipolar?” Jade queries.

“No.  No, I’m okay with that.  I kind of understand his illness.  I just, well.  He’s very intense emotionally.  Not that I’m any different I suppose, but he’s very keyed into my emotions.  It’s almost like he uses them as a predictor of his own.  Am I making any sense?”

“Completely.” Jade sighs.  “Silas can be.  Well, let’s be blunt; Silas can be
insecure.  He alters his moods around the emotions of others really easily.  I understand.  He uses the way you are portraying your feelings to highlight his own.”

“Kind o
f.” I groan, “It’s more like he’s always gauging how we’re doing as a couple by how I’m doing though.  Like our relationship is based on how he perceives I’m doing.  I don’t know.  I’m just scared I suppose.”

“He was in love with someone that until a month before breaking his heart was telling him it was forever.  I suppose he’s scared it’ll happen again.”  Jade offers.  “Not to mention he’s been a bit emotionally stunted by his experiences growing up.  In some ways he’s a little boy; in others he’s very much a grown man.” She explains.

“I know you’re right.” I nod.  “He’s actually pretty perfect for me.  I kind of feel emotionally stunted at times, and in almost every way, we’re completely on the same wave length.  I just haven’t felt this much for a guy in, well… ever.” I attempt to explain.  “It’s a little scary to feel so much for someone so quickly.”

Jade looks at me.
Her eyes narrow and her calculating look is perceptively focusing on me. I’m expecting her to say something to hurt me, because I’ve just been verbalizing my fears about the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  But she surprises me instead.

“Move in.”  Jade says pointing a carrot stick at me covered in hummus.

“Pardon?”

“You definitely should move in.”

“I really?  I would’ve thought you’d be against it.”

“No way.  I can totally handle someone else taking responsibility for that asshole.”  She says.

“What?”  I chuckle.

“Oh
don’t get me wrong, I love him, but he pisses me off.  Especially when he calls my son
Reynolds
.  I hate it.  Not to mention he hangs out here all the time with Ben, when it would be better if he could hang with you in the evenings.  I’ve only just started having mind altering sex again, and I’ve only got a year before I can no longer do it wherever I want any more.  Little Ben won’t stay this little forever.”  She points out.

I don’t know what possesses
me, since this conversation has had so many twists and turns and given me a completely different insight into Silas’ family already, but I find I need to ask Jade anyway.

“So the sex is better after a baby or before?”

“Now, definitely now.”

“Why?”  I ask.

“Because I don’t really care what I look like, I just want him to fuck me.” She whispers.  “I’m just horny as hell and I really want him badly.”

My mouth is open.

“You better close that thing or you’ll swallow a fly.”  Jade says smiling.

I smirk.

“I’d have thought you’d be exhausted.”

“I am, but I still want him. 
We’ve only been with each other around a year.  I fell pregnant pretty much straight away.  It’s just another hard and vigorous work out for him anyway.”  She says shrugging and snorting.

“Any more kids?”

“Absolutely not.”  She throws down.  Then she winces.  “Sorry.”

“Why?”

“Um… Silas told me you couldn’t have kids, so I shouldn’t be saying stuff like that.”  She apologizes.

“I can’t have kids.  It’s not a problem, I can still adopt.”  I reason
, keeping the pain out of my voice.

“That’s really cool.  Silas has always wanted to do that too.”

We both smile at each other.

“So what happened exactly?”  Jade asks.

“Why I can’t have kids?”

“Yes.”

“I was injured in Afghanistan.”

“IED.”  Jade says.

“Yes.”

“How bad?”

I don’t know why, but I decide to show her.

After peeling my jeans down so my ass is out (leaving my panties on
though) and lifting my shirt and sweater, I catch Jade reaching forward and then stopping.

“Sorry, occupational hazard.  I’m a nurse.”

“You can touch it.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No.”

“They got you good didn’t they?”  She says softly as she traces some of the ridges of my scaring.

“Yeah.”

“No wonder Silas thinks you’re so perfect.” she whispers.

“Pardon?” I gasp.  Nobody looking at my scars has ever used the word perfect in a sentence.

“You haven’t seen his scars?”  She asks, looking up at me.

“No.  We haven’t had sex yet.”

“But he’s seen these?”

“In this capacity only, but you can see pretty much everything.” I reason, looking over my bunched up shirt and sweater to see her tracing the lines of some of the scaring.

She pulls back and looks at me.

“His scars are pretty, well; they’re rather ‘impressive’ too.  He looks like a shark got a hold of him and shook him.  But just at the front of his pelvis.  His ass is fine.” She explains.

“Car accident.”
I offer up my knowledge.

“Twisted seatbelt.”  She adds.

“Shit.”

“He’s okay now. 
Scars are scars.  He’s healed really well.  Hell, he fights UFC without any issues.”  Jade proudly says.

“I know.” I smile.
  I’ve already scoured YouTube watching his few fights, before he had his psychotic breakdown.

“I know your scared,” Jade adds softly, “but you two are just so right for each other.” she sighs.

I sigh as well, “I love him, there’s no denying that and I know I can work past my fears.  The issues are really mine. I’ve never been in love before and that’s what really scares me.” I explain and pull my jeans up to secure them, before dropping my shirt and sweater back down.

Jade nods and then returns to the issue of my scars,
“So what happened inside, I mean what damage?” Jade asks, once again pointing to my scars that are now covered up.

“Intestinal,
though that’s fixed now; my right ovary, both tubes and a damaged uterus.”

“He has a habit of collecting girls who have issues with their uterus.” Jade
sighs.

I raise my eyebrows.
  That seems like a rather random thing to say.

She notices my look.

“His last girlfriend didn’t have one at all.”  She explains.

I didn’t know that, so he’s absolutely serious about not caring about all this shit.  It makes me feel a whole lot warmer about everything
between us; even the emotional insecurity.  It simply goes to remind me that he’s very mature in every other way. However, the twist in the conversation towards his ex-girlfriend now has me feeling the twinges of jealousy.

“Do you miss her?”  I whisper.

“A bit.  But if I see her again, I’ll slap her really hard.”  She responds.  She looks at me and must realize she’s said something to make me feel insecure.  So she follows with,

“You have nothing to worry about
by the way.  Silas is the most loyal guy I know.  If he tells you he wants you and has left his previous issues behind, you should believe him.”

“I do.”
  I nod and smile. 
I’m just a bit nervous.

“
Good,” she smiles.  “So, what kind of damage to your uterus?”

“
A bad infection set in and created scar tissue.”

“Oh,
of course.”  Jade nods.

“I don’t even get periods,
they had to do ablation because the pain caused by the scar tissue during menstruation was extreme.”  I explain.