Fake (A Pretty Pill) (31 page)

***

Her father is sitting there with a determined look on his face.

Isi is sitting there with a stunned look on her
s, and I’m sitting here with a grin and a hint of wild air around me.

“Silas?”

“If your father wants your help, I just want to know where his help has been for the last seven years.” I say, shoveling a forkful of pasta into my mouth.

“I’m sorry Dad.
” She begins.

“
No, don’t be sorry.  Your boyfriend has a point.” He sighs.

“And your answer is?” I ask.

Isi gives me a glare.

“I haven’t got a good one; I just thought
Darla had it under control.” he sighs.

“Pffft.
” I reply in disgust.

“I know
, it’s not a defense, it’s a weak excuse for sure, but it was how it was for so long and I didn’t know how to change it.”

“But you’
ve grown a backbone since and have the capacity to fight her now that she’s fucking a guy my age.” I argue.

Isi’s face has fallen.  I’
m going to cop it later, but he needs to wake up and smell the shit.  It’s not all roses and sunshine out here.

He winces, “Yes.”

“Fair enough.” I shrug; he can ask her, I’m not sure Isi should listen though.

“Do you love my daughter?” he asks me instead.

“Yes.”

“I’m not talking
the
‘at the moment’
kind of teenage romance; I’m talking
‘forever’
.” he argues.

“Yes,
I love your daughter with forever type love.  It’s not teenage puppy dog bullshit.” I explain bluntly. 

“So, y
ou want her to be happy and you want to give her everything you can repeatedly.” he queries.

“Yes.  That’s what I want.”

“I used to feel like that, about Darla.  But she was a different woman back then.”  He sighs.

I must have a frightened look in my eyes, because he continues.

“Now don’t worry; Bella will never be like that.  Darla was always prone to be a bitch.  She was always trying to keep up with
‘The Joneses’
.” He explains.

I wasn’t worried about that, I was worried that he could see any parallels between the two women at all.  I couldn’t.

“I love your daughter with everything I am.” I explain.

He looks at me; he looks at me with a scrutinizing intensity.

“If you ever intend on asking her to marry you, please know you already have my blessing.” he says.

I wouldn’t have actually cared if I had his blessing or not; when it comes to ask
ing Isi to marry me, it won’t be because I’ve been told I’m allowed to, it will be because we’re ready for that next step.  But it’s good for Isi to hear him say this, so I risk looking at her.

She has tears pouring down her face and she’s smiling.

Shit, she cries a bit lately.  It’s all part of her healing process, but it breaks my heart every time I see it.  She’s in touch with her emotions much more these days.

“Isi.” I soothe.

“No, no.  I’m okay.” she waves off my concern.

She wipes her face on the napkin, and then she turns to her Dad with a beaming smile.  He doesn’t deserve it.

Her smile doesn’t last very long though.

“Belle, I asked you here tonight so I could ask you to take all of my money.  Every cent I have in all of my accounts.” he asks.

Well, that was a shock.  The look on her face is beyond pained.  It looks like everything negative you could think of, blended together and slapped back on there.

“No
.”

“I need you to have it so
your mother doesn’t get it.  She can have half the house and alimony out of my income.  But I’ll be damned if she’s going to line her pockets and that boys from your inheritance.” he reasons.

“NO
.”  She shouts.

“I’ll be fine.  I’ll buy a little apartment out of my part of the house, and I can support myself with the money left over after paying her half my wages…”

“
NO.
 
NO, NO, NO, NO.”

Isi gets up, throws her napkin down, storms around to me and drags
at my arm, “fucking move Silas, we’re leaving.”

“I think you should think,
” I begin.

“
Fucking move Silas, we’re leaving.
”

I stand and follow her out the door.  We’ll talk about this.  I like this idea.  I don’t want that bitch
gaining advantage from Isi’s future either. 

And what did I say about being in touch with her emotions?  Well that includes anger too.  At least she generally gets over things fairly fast.

***

“You should consider it;
she shouldn’t have it at all.” I seethe, as we’re driving away from the house.

“Do you even know how much money we’re talking about Silas?” she shouts.

“No, but if you don’t want it, you could always give it to charity.”

“I’m not about the money;
I’m not about wanting to prove my value with green and white pieces of paper.” she shouts.

I’m starting to get angry
now.

“This is not about your feelings about money.  This is about preventing your mom from getting everything she wants all the time.  It’s about payback
.”

“Well
, you know loads of money doesn’t make you happy and it won’t make our lives fucking easier, because I wouldn’t let us use a cent.” she screams.

“I wouldn’t let you use a cent for us either
.” I shout back.  This is rapidly deteriorating – this is more than anger, this is something else.

“Are you sure about that?  Money’s tight around here Silas.”

Is she insinuating what I think she is?

“Are you saying I want that money?”  I fume.

“I’m not saying you want that money, what I’m saying is it would be easy and convenient to use if we had it.” she shouts.

“I fucking wouldn’t touch that money for anything in the world
.”

“You say that now, but when the next bill comes in and we’re scrambling you’ll consider it.” she screams.

“Do you even fucking know me?”

“I don’t want the fucking money Silas.  They can fight it out in court.  Dad can give it to
a charity right now.  I fucking don’t care; I just refuse to have that money.”

“I fucking don’t want your motherfucking dad’s money either Isi.  I just want your bitch of a mother having it less
.” I scream.

She screams, slams the
car brakes on and jumps out the driver’s door, and then she runs across the road.

I have no idea where we are.  It’s dark and I’m not familiar with
the terrain.

But I can see her scrambling through some scrubby, dry looking shrubs
on the other side of the road.  And then I see her fall down a ditch.

Fuck.

I jump out of the car and navigate the traffic, before rushing across the road to see her screaming and crying as she rights herself and continues to move forward on the other side of the hedged barrier.

“Get back here Isi
.” I growl.

“Fuck off Silas.  Go fuck yourself
.”

We’ve argued a little about stuff before, but this is different.  This is a fight.  This is something else Shae wouldn’t be having with me.  She’d have run a thousand miles before confronting me on anything.  Hang on, that’s precisely what she did.  I vastly prefer this, no matter how much it pisses me off.

“Get the fuck back in the car Isi and stop acting like a bitch.”

She whirls around,
but there’s only a half moon out, so I can barely see her from this distance, however, I don’t need to see her well to know she’s seriously pissed with me.

She’s gathered herself together
and yep, she’s pissed.

“I’m a bitch?  Well y
ou’re a motherfucking cocksucker.” She shouts, and then she turns and runs across the field.

“Get the fuck back here
.” I scream out as I navigate the shrubs and ditch and find another ditch full of water. 
Fuck, now I have wet shoes.

“Fuck off
.”  She screams back.  She’s running out here somewhere.  So I set off in the direction I saw her go and heard the last curse from.

Not a field, it’s that golf c
ourse I’ve passed more than a dozen times.

“Isi
.” I shout out angrily.

“Fuck. Off
.” She shouts back, the sound informing me of her direction.

I’m somewhere between
seriously angry and worried right now.

I can see her now.  My eyes have adjusted to the dim light and I can see her running through a clearing.

I put in as much speed as I can muster.  I don’t want to lose sight of her again.

I see her stumble, and I
sincerely hope that she’s not hurt herself.

And thankfully
she hasn’t, because she’s jumped back up, looked over her shoulder and taken off again.

“Fuck off Silas
.  Leave me alone.”

“No fucking way.”
  I shout back.

I’m pulling up to her
and about to grab her when she darts left, out of my grasp.  But it’s almost over for her.  I’m too close now.

And then it happens.  She suddenly disappear
s.  Tumbling down an embankment and splashing into the water below.  It looks like a river. 
Shit
, I’m scrambling down the embankment till I’m at the edge and then I’m precariously standing at the edge and waiting for her to surface.

She comes up and I’m grabbing her by her shirt and pulling her up out of the cold water.

“This is so fucking stupid Isi.  Get the fuck up here.” I growl as I reef her clear and drag her into me.  “What the fuck was all that?” I ask.

She’s not speaking, she’s just shivering.

“Get on my back.” I demand.

She shakes her head.

“Don’t be so God damn stubborn Isi.  I’m carrying you out of here whether you help me or not.” I shout.  “Now get on my fucking back.” I’m pissed; oh yeah,
very pissed.

She crawls onto my back and I scramble up the embankment
using my hands to assist pulling me up.  Her cold wetness is soaking though the layers of my clothing.

“Why?  Just tell me why you’ve reacted
in this extreme way?” I ask, huffing as I near the top.

She just cries.
  Fuck, at least the anger’s gone.

When I get to the top
she goes to slide down, but I’m not risking her running off again.  She’s gone a bit loco tonight.  Everything’s been so good for so long – I don’t know what tonight was about, but it wasn’t a minor issue for her. 

Instead, I cling to her thighs and adjust her on my back so
I can walk and carry her back to the car.  She’s quiet for a while, occasionally sniffling.

“I used to crave money.” she whispers, a
bout half way back.  Her whole body is shivering.

I can’t imagine her ever wanting money.

“Why?” I ask gently and sigh.  For some reason, the fight is diminishing and I just want to go home.  I’m still simmering inside though.  I could boil over with the right push.

“Because it meant love.”

“Love?  Money equated to love?” I ask.

“If
I got a good grade, it would be;
Here Belle, have a fifty and go and buy yourself a new dress.
If I needed them to look at a picture I drew, it would be;
not now Belle, but have a twenty and go and buy yourself something nice.
  After a while, I equated it to love.  You know;
Mommy, do you love me?  Sure honey, here, take a fifty and go and get your nails done… nicely this time
.”  She sighs.

“That’s fucked.”
I growl.

She sighs.  At
least she’s stopped crying now and the anger’s gone.

“Then when I wa
s at dating age and I was, well you know, with guys.  I never could get people to tell me they loved me seriously, so I began the whole;
If you love me Daddy, you’ll spot me a hundred, so I can go and get a spa treatment.
  Or,
Mom, if you love me, you’ll buy me those new shoes I love
.”  She’s choking.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” she chokes out.  “I worked out that money doesn’t equate to love.  And I began to hate it.  Any money I get now needs to be earned.  I hated the pension money till I realized I’d earned it, that my injuries earned it.” she laments.