Fall From Grace (21 page)

"I thought I was going crazy, that there were some weird minerals in the water all of a sudden. I mean how would I ever come to the conclusion that I was turning into a super being?"

"I
was
really surprised that you had no idea at all. Normally we are told from birth as our parents start to prepare us early in our development. You really had no idea though?"
 

"Do I
look
like I had an idea? I guess my Mom must have been a demon right, if my Dad isn't?"
 

"That's what I've been wondering about. I can't say exactly what your mother was, but what I can tell you is how we procreate. You see, it's actually really difficult for a female demon to conceive with a human. Even if they do get pregnant, typically they just have a human baby, and put them up for adoption or leave them with the other human parent. We're not as emotionally attached to our children as humans are. I mean there are exceptions to every rule, but if you give birth to a human it's just easier to give them up and move on with your life. It's a little hard to explain why mommy looks 17 at her kid's high school graduation." Ash lifts up his elbows and turns his stool to face me, leaning back on his right arm.

"Ya, I guess that could get a little tricky to explain to the PTA." I sip my coke and think back to my mom and what Ash said before about seeing things in black and white. How her choices couldn't have been easy.

"What I truly don't quite get though was why your Mom didn't take you with her? I mean, we can tell right from the start whether the baby is human or not, but what possessed her to take off without a word and leaving you behind? She had to have known." Ash looks at me with a mixture of confusion and, I suspect, pity. I mean, knowing my mom left is one thing. Knowing she left me the way I am, on my own, with a human parent means she cared even less then I thought.

"Hmmm, just another pathetic tidbit of my mother issues to ponder. Great," I say exhaling a big breath.

"No actually what I meant was that perhaps something happened to her? Maybe she had to leave for a specific reason - one that has nothing to do with you and nothing to do with not wanting you. I mean, we do have a different relationship with our parents then humans. They teach us about ourselves, help us to assimilate into society just enough so that we keep the existence of ourselves a secret, but we also have a law about adding any new demon births to 'The Register', and believe me Stella, I checked, you are definitely not listed."

"'The Register?'" I say clearly confused.

"Sorry, it's sort of like our version of a demon pentagon. They keep a census of all earth bound supernaturals, monitor threats, and get rid of demons who break our laws. Like going on killing sprees, causing mass human hysteria, you know, mayhem sorts of stuff. So when a bouncing baby bloodsucker arrives, you have to register it. It's a pretty big no-no when you don't," Ash casually explained as if he was talking about baseball stats.

"How did you find out that I'm not listed? I have to say that I'm glad you know this, but it's a little creepy that you were stalking me so thoroughly," I say with a half hearted laugh.

"I have a friend who works there, they did a little search for me. No stalker tendencies on my record to date, but never say never." He smiles over at me as he places his hand on mine and leads me over to the couches. Ash sits down all relaxed but I am as tense as a clothes line. Leaning over my knees, with my head in my hands, my brain is spinning. I feel pathetic but I have to ask. Before I realize it's leaving my mouth I say it. "Do they know where my mother is?"

Ash leans up and nudges my shoulder with his. "I don't know. She may have changed her name, covered her tracks. She may have given your Dad an alias. Wherever she is, I couldn't find a word about her and I doubt she wants to be found."
 

Silence falls down on us as I sit and process. Ash doesn't probe or bug me. I can feel the heat coming through his shirt as it warms my shoulder. It comforts me greatly, soothing my nerves.

"So what about your family? You said your mom died in childbirth - was she human as well?" I ask feeling his arm stiffen but still he answers. Better lay all our cards on the table. It's that kind of day. "Actually both my parents are demons but my mom wasn't strong enough to have me I guess. My father doesn't talk about it and I can only go on the brief answers to the questions I had once I was old enough to understand and wonder why she died. It isn't super easy to conceive even in a demon/demon relationship, but for some reason she did and I guess her body wasn't prepared for the stress," he admits.

"But you still see your Dad right?"

"Rarely, but yes. I see your relationship with your Dad and compare it with what my father was to me. It was nothing at all like what you have. You should be very grateful to have that." He leans back into the couch with a thump. I think that's where he wants that line of questioning to stop. Respectfully I switch gears. Thumping back next to him I ask, "So, ok, my next query has to be what cool things can I do?"

"Well that's where it gets really fuzzy. I really can't tell," he says with a sigh and runs his fingers through his hair, leaving his arm up and over the back of the couch. "I mean, normally after a few minutes or seconds really, you can tell what kind of demon you see, It's written all over their face. Not literally of corse," he says with a smirk. "But it's like a bell goes off in your head with the answer. You just know, you can feel it. With you, all I get is a lot of question marks. It's like I can feel your power but there is something blocking the transmission. My only explanation is that perhaps you haven't quite completed the change yet. It's pretty weird though. You have a strange pull that at first I thought was because I liked you," he says nudging my elbow with his, " but then I saw the way Beth looked at you at the diner, and even Ed. They were enchanted by your presence - literally."

"Beth freaked me out. Gave me the willies," I say shuddering a bit.

Ash laughed at this. "Yes, I guess she would. I'm just used to her. She's a reader demon. She can jump into your mind, hang out for a bit, see what you have seen. It's unnerving at first until you learn to block her. She can be a little... invasive."

"So Beth and Ed. Any more demon pals you want to intro me to?"

"I think I'd like to keep you to myself for a little while longer," he said with a wink.

Feeling myself flush crimson I go back to my abilities, or lack there of. "So then I'm a weirdo. The whacked out question mark demon. Great. I bet I'm going to be really awesome and cool." I say with a fake smile.

"I have no doubt you will Stella."

The next few weeks found us inseparable, cutsey to the point that sometimes even
I
hated myself, but I couldn't help it. I opened my eyes to this whole new world and I wanted to experience everything at full throttle. A feverish sensation enveloped me which caused erratic actions and popped my hormones in overdrive. Gabs was super annoyed, but to be honest, I didn't care. I was letting the inner demon take the steering wheel and it finally felt amazing to be me. To let go with abandon was something I NEVER did before.
 

Gabs didn't waste time in telling me off. She wasn't used to this imposter. I couldn't really blame her. I have always been her little sidekick, the robin to her batman; she definitely wasn't used to me wearing tight anythings and it probably set her universe into free fall. I get that she loves me but I think she felt I was changing for a guy and hates the chicks who do that. I mean I guess I can see her point in retrospect but whatev's.

My academic life took a sad turn, but I had loads of time to figure out the cosine of x right? School just didn't hold the same authority it used to. I mean, if I'm going to be around for hundreds of years, why not ditch a few classes? There will be plenty of time to conjugate verbs and master molecular genetics. Well maybe not that last one.
 

I gotta tell you how good it felt though; being bad. It was like the floodgates just opened for me and every fibre of my soul embraced this dark self that was exciting and careless. I desperately wanted to test myself. Do something dangerous and volatile like jump off a building, step in front of a bus, provoke the evil overlord at the 7-11. You know, be C-R-A-Z-Y, see what I could do. I didn't of corse, my annoying human side still won out, and Ash was able to put a little sense in me explaining we actually feel pain so that nixed the greyhound experiment. But I was nearing the point that I wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

Ash explained this as very normal, considering I have never 'released' myself before now. Growing up, he had such a different upbringing. Tackling his power, playing with it, watching it build into something really amazing.

I felt this dangerous vibe shooting through me and it was becoming really hard to control. Dad was starting to be less than pumped by my shift as well. New boyfriend, overly witty (aka bitchy) daughter = every parents' nightmare. I felt his frustration, but again, I just didn't care.

Things felt like they were falling into the right spot for once in my life and I was savouring it. There was, however, one strange thing that really frustrated the hell out of me. I mean Ash has been a demon for over a century right? And one would assume he has been 'around the block' a few times so to speak but for some reason with me he seemed to be holding back. Sure we had some great make out sessions in the last few weeks, but he always seemed to be on guard and never really fully lost any control with me, not like that first night anyways. As soon as things got steamy, he pulled back, saying we should take it slow, watch ourselves. I mean what kind of demon says that?! I didn't want to take it slow anymore, I was ready, and he was always on the outskirts, watching me, making sure I didn't go too far. Truth be told, I was starting to feel rejected.
 

I knew he wanted me, I could tell in more ways then one, but something was bothering him that I just couldn't put my finger on. We were becoming close on a personal and mental level, attached at the hip, but never really going past second base on a physical level and I think I was gearing up for that home run.

When I got to school that Friday, yes I remember the exact day of the week it was, I had a killer idea, I would kidnap Gabs. We'd skip class, have some fun, and I would show her that I was still me and things could be great again, like old times. We'd do something wild and crazy like you see in all those teen movies that make this generation look so cool and uninhibited, but in actuality, doesn't ever happen. If they are any indication of what we are supposed to be like, I am in the wrong dimension sister.
 

It seemed like the perfect way to end the week. I place the emphasis on SEEMED.

As I pulled into the school parking lot, I could see Gabs was already here, hovering by the front doors. Actually she was more like impatiently pacing the sidewalk, wearing it down to a fine powder, so I should have known that I was in for a special treat this morning. I should have stayed in the car and locked the doors. Scratch that, perhaps I should have stayed in bed today. When will I ever learn?

The day started well. The weather was spectacular, so I took a chance and wore a dark denim mini, silver flip flops and a white mens dress shirt with the cuffs rolled up. I left my hair down in loose waves as I ran out of time trying on too many skirts hoping that they didn't look like something Francine would wear. Hey, I may have a new confidence, but I don't do slutty.

As I approached Gabs I could feel her piercing stare and almost considered a quick leap into the side hedge towards a fast getaway. Hindsight is always 20/20.

"Hiya Gabs. You look really pretty today." Flattery always works.

"Don't sweet talk me lady. We need to talk." Yikes.

"'bout what?" Ignorance is always the key to successful confrontation avoidance.

"About this! This YOU that is not YOU at all!" She says as she waves her hands up and down my body clearly not missing the low cut shirt and high cut skirt. "When did you go all Lindsay Lohan on me? What happened to my friend who loves sweatpants and trucker caps!?"

"Dude I have no idea what you're talking about." Yup still playing dumb.

"You know EXACTLY what I am talking about; it isn't really about the clothes to be honest. Let's face it, you can pull it off and I guess it's about frigin' time you started to dress better, but I've taken lots of notes these past few weeks and I'm starting to really worry that you've been invaded by a body snatcher. I mean, skipping class, that D in Bio, and I even saw Kim at The Grind the other day in a hot mess because you had called in sick to work, leaving her short staffed, and believe me I knew you weren't sick. I had to go along with whatever she claimed left you on your death bed as I had no idea what fake excuse you came out with to bail on her like that. Stella this is so unlike you and it's starting to piss me off!"

"Jeez, would you lighten up Gabs? You're being a real pill today. Are you pms-ing?" I whisper that last part as I pull her off to the side of the doors. I could see the steam billowing from her ears. Yeesh maybe she was?

"Lighten up? You're telling ME to lighten up? Stella, you have some nerve you know that?! I know exactly what's happened to you and it has Asher Grey written all over it. You claim to be all independent woman, hear me roar, but ever since he started sticking his tongue down your throat you've turned into a crazy with absolutely no mind of her own! He's given me the willies ever since day one and I know for a fact that there is something off about him, I just know it. It doesn't help that he's turned you into some sort of airhead whore!"