Fall to Pieces (10 page)

Her smile froze on her face as Colleen pulled
up a chair right next to Dylan and proceeded to catch everyone up
on the last few years of her life, about her work in Billings as an
ER nurse. Sadie didn't catch much over the roaring in her head,
over the sick twisting in her stomach at the way Colleen kept
touching Dylan's arm, throwing her head back to laugh at everything
he said.

At the way Dylan grinned right back at her,
the warmth in his gaze echoing the way he'd looked at her just
moments before.

You wanted him to look at you like he
looked at other women,
she told herself harshly.
Well he
did, and now you see exactly how meaningless it is, how stupid you
were to read anything into it.

The acknowledgement wasn't enough to ease the
sting as she watched Dylan escort a laughing Colleen to the dance
floor, hold her just as close as he'd held Sadie, their two dark
heads bent close as she said something that made him throw his head
back with laughter.

Guys like Dylan don’t
ever end up
with girls like you
.

The disdainful words echoed in her head as
clearly today as they had that long ago afternoon in the girl's
locker room.

Sadie and Molly had been dawdling after gym
class—Sadie's doing because she couldn't bear the idea of showering
and changing in front of everyone, despite Molly's admonishments
that everyone was too busy worrying about what they looked like
naked to bother looking at her.

"I don't see you rushing to strip down,"
Sadie said, quickly pulling on her underwear under the cover of her
towel. Then she turned her back to Molly, and slipped on her bra
and t-shirt before letting the towel drop to the floor.

"I'm not the one making us late to calculus.
Molly had put on he bra and pulled on her low rise flare jeans and
was rubbing her hair with a towel by the time Sadie turned
around.

"Have you decided what you're going to wear
to prom?" Molly said as Sadie ran a brush through her wet
tangles.

Sadie gave her a scoffing laugh. "I would if
I were going."

"Come on, I told you you could go with me and
Josh," Molly said as she tugged her shirt over her head.

"Right, I'm sure he'd be thrilled to have me
tagging along."

"It won't be like that," Molly protested as
she tried to put her blonde curls into some semblance of order.
"It'll be a whole big group of us. We're getting a limo and a room
at the Grand and everything."

"And I get to watch you all get drunk and
make out all night? No thanks."

"I hate to think of you home alone when we're
all out having fun." Molly said, her big blue eyes imploring. "It's
still a week away, plenty of time to find a date."

Sadie shook her head. "There's no one I'd
want to go with."

"Oh, I bet there's one person," Molly said
teasingly. "Sadie and Dylan, sitting in a tree—"

"Shut up!" Sadie said and swatted her on the
arm. "As if he'd ever."

"He might," Molly said. "I don't think he has
a date yet."

"You really think Dylan Decker would take
you
to prom?"

Sadie and Molly whirled and saw Jennifer
Kramer peeking around a row of lockers. Her wet hair was slicked
back and nothing but a bra and panties covered her taut form
sculpted by gymnastics and cheerleading. Her dark eyes were
narrowed, and Sadie felt herself try to shrink, the same way she
had the first time she'd been first subjected to Jennifer's
withering stare back in fifth grade.

"He already asked Colleen. And even if he
hadn't, guys like Dylan don't ever end up with girls like you."

She felt Jennifer's scathing look scrape up
her body, and though she didn't say it, she knew exactly what the
other girl was thinking.
Nerd. Loser. Stork. Giraffe
girl.

"And they don't end up with mean, shallow
bitches like you, " Sadie said, miraculously finding her
tongue.

"Hey, at least I have a date to prom."

"And at least I'll graduate with honors and
won't have to do summer school," Sadie snapped. She turned to
leave, her face burning, vision blurred with angry tears.

She heard Molly exchange a few choice words
with Jennifer as she fled through the door.

"Don't listen to her, Sadie," Molly said when
she caught up to Sadie. "She doesn't know what she's talking
about."

"I know." But inside she was seething. With
the knowledge that Jennifer was right. As nice as Dylan was to her,
she knew he never looked at her twice. Never followed her with his
eyes as she walked down the hall.

He didn't think about her like he thought
about Colleen.

Later that afternoon as she made her way
through the parking lot. She made the turn down the row where her
car was parked, and the lump in her throat swelled to the size of a
bowling ball.

As if to add insult to injury, Colleen had
parked right next to her. She was sitting on the hood of her car.
And sitting next to her, his arm draped loosely over her shoulder,
was none other than Dylan. On her other side, wearing a shit-eating
grin, was Jennifer.

Sadie watched, wishing the earth would
swallow her up, as Jennifer leaned over and said something to the
couple.

Any hope Sadie had that Jennifer wasn't
talking about her disappeared when Colleen and Dylan's eyes
immediately locked on her, then just as quickly dropped away.

But not quick enough that Sadie didn't see
something in Colleen's and, worse, Dylan's eyes. Something
infinitely worse than Jennifer's disdain.

Pity.

Fighting the impulse to round her shoulders
and make herself disappear, she straightened up and walked
purposefully to her car.

Studiously averting her gaze, she went to
unlock her car.

"Hey, Sadie," a too familiar voice said
beside her. As always, she melted a little bit at the sound.

"Hey Dylan," she said, in what she hoped was
a casual tone. She pasted on a smile and forced herself to meet his
gaze.

"Listen, I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?"

"You don't have a date for the prom yet, do
you?"

"No," she replied. Her heart started beating
double time, tripping over itself as her mind raced with
possibilities. Was he going to bail on Colleen so he could go with
her? Had she misread the pity in his eyes? Had he been waiting for
her to reveal her real feelings, namely that she'd been madly in
love with him for years.

"Because Charlie Morris—he's in biology with
me—he doesn't have a date either. Maybe you could go with him?"

Never let it be said she didn't have an
active fantasy life, she thought as she let out a sharp laugh. It
was either that or cry. She knew Charlie Morris, and liked him just
fine. He was even cute, in a slightly built, perfectly groomed,
totally opposite of Dylan way.

He was also, Sadie was 99.99% sure, as in
love with Dylan as she was.

"That's really sweet of you to try to set me
up, but I'm good."

Sadie had stayed home on prom night and
watched
Titanic
so she would have an excuse for sobbing into
her bowl of extra buttery popcorn.

From what she'd heard from the rumor mill the
following Monday morning, Colleen and Dylan left before the prom
king and queen were even crowned, so eager were they to get to the
Grand, where they spent the night together.

Alone.

Now, as she watched Dylan dancing her across
the floor, she wondered if they were going to hit the hotel later
for a replay.

She didn't want to stick around to find out.
When Josh stood up to go to the bar and Molly ordered another
round, Sadie raised her hand. "None for me," she said, standing up
too. "I'm taking off."

"You just got here," Molly protested. "It's
only"—she paused to look at her watch—"nine-forty-five!"

"Even though I'm waiting to hear back from
Mary, I still have to get up at the ass crack," she replied.
And
I'm afraid if I have to watch Dylan and Colleen for one more
second, my vodka and tonic might make an encore appearance all over
the floor.

Though she didn't utter a word of it out
loud, she saw how Molly's gaze flicked over to the other couple and
back to Sadie.

She sighed, hoping that it was only because
Molly knew her so well that she could see just how pathetic Sadie
was.

When she got home, she poured herself a big
glass of red wine and used it to wash down an over the counter
sleep aid. While she should have been exhausted enough to go lights
out as soon as her head hit the pillow, she didn't want to risk
being awake to hear Dylan's truck rumbling up the drive hours from
now.

Or worse, not hearing the truck at all.

It was unusually bright when she woke up, and
she could hear muffled conversation between June and her dad
outside of her bedroom door.

Which was weird, because for the past week
and a half she'd gotten up before June arrived at seven-thirty, and
her dad rarely emerged from his room before eight.

She picked up her phone, the last dregs of
sleep disappearing in a surge of panic as she saw the time.

Eight-thirty. She'd overslept by over two
hours.

She flung herself out of bed with a curse and
stuffed her bare feet into running shoes as she ran out her bedroom
door. She mumbled a good morning at her dad and June, who called
something after her.

Sadie waved her off and headed down the
stairs and out the door to the barn. Some rational part of her
brain tried to remind her that it wasn't a disaster for the horses
to have to wait a little for their breakfast.

But though her father had no expectation for
her to take over his operation, from a very young age he had
instilled in her that he expected her to work. And whatever chore
she was assigned, from mucking stables to polishing saddles, to
taking care of the morning feeding, he expected it to be executed
perfectly according to his schedule.

So even as she could acknowledge that much of
her current panic was that of a child trying to avoid a parent's
wrath, that didn't stop her from racing into the barn, murmuring
apologies to the horses for being lax in her duty.

She was so intent on her purpose, making a
beeline for the hay bales stacked in the corner, that she didn't
notice anyone was in the barn with her until a hand landed on her
shoulder.

Startled, she whirled around and would have
tripped if Dylan hadn't caught her. His lips were moving, but she
couldn't hear him over her heartbeat pounding in her head.

"I'm sorry, what?" she said.

"You don't have to feed the horses. I already
took care of it."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I got up early to go work out. When I
got back and didn't see you, I figured you were sleeping in."

"Oh."

He was silent a moment, as though expecting
her to say more. At her continued silence he added, "I ran into
Pete on his way out to the hay meadow and double checked that I
gave everyone the right amounts. I hope that's okay?"

She shook her head. "Of course it's okay.
Thank you for doing that."

"It's really not a big deal. I just figured,
you've been working so hard, you could use the extra sleep."

But it was a big deal to her. After months of
burning the candle at both ends and the stress of wrangling her
father, the idea that someone would do something, no matter how
small, to make her life a little easier was enough to bring her
almost to tears.

Almost.
She took a deep breath and
told herself to stop being such a ninny. "Well, I really appreciate
it. I must have forgotten to set my alarm last night," she said
with a shaky laugh that morphed into a yawn.

"I need some coffee," she said and smoothed
her hair, suddenly self-conscious that she had come straight from
bed, pillow mussed hair and all. Thankfully she'd slept in shorts
and a baggy t-shirt which, while not flattering, didn't reveal
much. "Want to join me?"

At his initial hesitation, she quickly
interjected, "I make my own. And I've even got a special stash of
half and half tucked in the back of the refrigerator."

"Sounds good." He smiled and followed her
back into the house.

"So you left early last night," he said as
she spooned grounds into a filter and started the coffee
brewing.

He noticed.
She immediately quashed
the little thrill, reminding herself that was as meaningless as all
the other flirty banter they'd exchanged on the dance floor at the
Last Chance.

"I was wiped," she said and retrieved two
stoneware mugs from the cabinet, "and, well, planning to get up at
six-fifteen. You and Colleen have fun?" She did her best to keep
any of the acid churning in her stomach from leaching into her
tone.

"It was good to catch up," he said.

Sadie filled the two mugs and retrieved her
half and half, cleverly disguised in an empty carton of soy milk.
At Dylan's nod she poured enough in each mug to turn the coffee a
pale shade of tan.

She handed him his coffee and took a sip of
her own. "That can't be all you did," she said. even as she asked
herself if she really wanted to go down this path with him.

It was one thing to listen in on the gossip
about him back in high school, and even throw it back at him now
that they were adults. But did she really want to hear him say,
flat out, that he'd slept with another woman last night?

Though the answer was an emphatic "no," her
mouth seemed determined to ignore her brain's advice. "I figured
you two were reliving prom night."

He gave a shout of laughter. "Thankfully not,
since prom night ended with her puking all over my lap on the way
to the hotel."

Sadie's mug froze half way to her lips, her
eyes wide. "No way."

He laughed and shook his head. "I saved up
for the room and everything, then all of my big plans went to shit
when Jennifer Kramer snuck a bottle of Everclear into the dance. An
hour in, Colleen was so drunk I knew I had to get her out of there
before she got busted."