Authors: Jolene Perry
Falling (2 page)
I’ll have to call Dad tomorrow. Maybe I’ll get lucky and my brother, Keith, won’t have said anything. I frown. It’s doubtful—he and our dad are tight. Not only that, but Keith
loves
to deliver news about Dana to Dad.
At least Leann lives in my half-renovated house with me, and I’ll have someone to help out if I need it. That’s something.
“What happened to you?” Craig asks as he comes back in the room.
I must be scowling. “Just annoyed at the situation.”
“I’m sorry about the picture, but it’s all I have.” He walks to the side of the bed with his phone.
I hold my breath. It’s better than gasping. The guy from the side of the road is lying in a pool of blood. I try to act cool, but I’m shocked. More than shocked. My brain can’t wrap around it.
“Is that one of the guys you saw?” he asks.
I just nod, not trusting my voice. I don’t want to come across as anything but calm, even though part of me
is completely freaking out
. He was alive just
hours
ago.
“And the other guy had a tattoo on his neck and was driving a white truck with orange pinstripes?”
I nod once.
“Well. I’ll definitely be in touch because the only other witness we have is someone who heard the shot.” Craig frowns a bit as he tucks the phone in his pocket. “So I might have a million more questions for you tomorrow.”
What kind of a mess am I in?
And I get to see him again tomorrow?
Somebody really should have told me that marrying your childhood sweatheart might not be the best idea, because when it ends, it doesn’t just end. It explodes.
My little sister, Justine, throws her arms around me, more as an act of desperation than affection. We’re at the airport. It’s a done deal, but I know it won’t stop her from one last plea. I’ve been getting pleas for the whole three hours from my lodge to Anchorage.
“I promise if you let me stay with you, I’ll keep up with my home school. I swear.” She clutches my shirt more tightly, her blond hair in a mess around her damp face. She’s been crying on and off since we left home.
I chuckle and pat her back. “Worse things have happened, Jus. I promise you’ll survive.”
She pulls away, grasping my shoulders and staring at me with wide eyes. “You know no such thing! I haven’t been in public school since
middle school
!”
“It’s not up to me, sis. You took it too far keeping from Mom how behind you are. And besides…” I want her to feel good about going. “Mom misses you.”
“But.” Justine’s shoulders fall and her hands relax. “What about you?”
Her worry cuts into my chest. “It’s just a divorce, Justine. People do it all the time.”
“But not so awfully, and not to someone you’ve known for so long.” Justine frowns. “You know I think she’s a horrible bitch, and that I’ll hate her forever.”
I chuckle knowing that my little sister totally saved my sorry ass for the first half of the snowmachining season this year. I can’t run the lodge without her, and haven’t totally figured out what I’m going to do now that she’s headed back to our parents’ house in Juneau.
And to be honest, she saved my ass in more than one way. Cass walking out last spring was more than a shock, and Justine’s exuberance filled a lot of holes in my rundown lodge.
“Call me anytime, keep on top of school, and maybe Mom will let you hang with me once in a while, okay?” I try to give her a reassuring smile, but I’m not sure how it comes off.
“Ugh.” She rolls her eyes, and I know she’ll be okay because she’s about to say something that’ll annoy the crap out of me. She tugs at my beard. “This is gross and needs to go.”
I pull away because Justine and I have had this conversation way too many times. “I like the beard.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “You look like…like a total slob. No one would like a beard that looks like this.”
I know she’s right, but since Cass left, I just stopped. I’m stubborn, and I don’t know if it’s spiting her, or damaging me, or helping me, or what. But no matter what, it’s staying.
“I’ll think about it.” Only I won’t.
Justine frowns. “You always say that.”
“Bye, Justine.”
She huffs, her way of saying that she’ll be okay, and
that she’s not as annoyed as she lets on
.
I turn to leave, but she has to get the last word in.
“You know, Jason. You could shave that thing off, and I bet you could get a date.”
I wave her off and continue toward my old Rover. We both know I’m not ready for another woman. Not yet. Not by a long shot.
It doesn’t stop Justine from picking them out for me. All the time.
By the time I drive the three hours back, and jump on my snowmachine for the last few miles home, I’m exhausted but relieved to be alone. Away from Anchorage. Away from civilization. Alone.
The lodge is dark and empty like it normally is in the middle of the week. The wood walls reflect the firelight, and I feel immediately relaxed. Boz, my only neighbor, is probably in for the night, and I swear the old lodge echoes every breath I make.
No Cass. No Justine. I’m definitely going to be looking forward to the weekends, because as much as I want to be by myself, I’m liable to go crazy in this place without distraction.
“Hey, Dad.” I try to sound relaxed and like I haven’t been taking narcotics,
and
like I’m not still stuck in the hospital.
“I have a flight up there this evening, sweetie. I’ll take care of everything.” His voice is strong, steady, and means to be listened to.
I jump to sitting, which I immediately regret. The pain brings tears to my eyes, and then more tears come because I hate feeling dependent on other people, and I’m definitely going to be dependent on other people.
“Oh! Dad! Totally not necessary!” I don’t care how much it hurts. I
will
sound normal.
“Your brother called me
last
night
! And as of this morning, I still hadn’t heard anything from you.” His voice is full of concern.
It makes me sad that I have this strain over our relationship because I love my dad. I’m just desperate for him to be proud of me. To be proud of me like he is of my brother. Sibling rivalry sucks—especially when I’m the one who’s behind. A business degree, even from Northwestern, isn’t enough to keep me on top right now. Throw in my need to get away from school and the big city for a year, and I’m not
simply
stuck
behind
my brother, but
lagging
.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m on my way to my house now. I’ve already called my insurance. They have a car waiting for me, everything’s taken care of. There’s nothing for you to do up here.”
Please, please don’t come.
“Hmm.” He doesn’t sound completely convinced, but I know he’s busy at work, and I know coming up here will put him behind. He doesn’t like being behind. It cuts into his golfing time.
“Really, Dad, I have money and my job is waiting for me. There’s nothing for you to do. Leann’s already at the hospital to pick me up, and she can help out when I get home.”
“How is that house of yours coming?”
I sigh. In his mind a house should be flipped in under a month, two months max. I’ve been there for six. I like the house, and am not sure when I want to go back to college for my master’s. I know already that I’m going to miss the place when I’m done—though, I’m still on the fence about being in Alaska. “It’s great. I like living there or it would be sold already.”
“You’re never going to get anything going like this, Dana.” He sounds like my boss now.
My chest sinks. “I know. I might find something else and do it faster. You know, more
your
style.” I’m really struggling to sound normal, but it hurts to talk like this.
“You like your house, I can tell. It’s the number one rule.” His voice is full of disapproval.
“Don’t get attached,” I say with him.
“I know, Dad.” I smile. Things are good. He’s not mad at me, and he’s going to stay where he is.
“I love you, Dana Bear.”
I have to laugh at that, but just a little. He’s called me that since I was a baby.
“I love you too, Dad.” I sigh and hang up the phone. Well, the hardest call is over. Now I just need to get out of here.
Two knocks on my hospital door and Craig enters. This is…unexpectedly perfect.
He makes his way the side of my bed. “How is Dana today?” He looks at me longer than he has to, and I can feel myself switching modes, from pathetic patient to young single woman, preparing to have a little fun with him. Something good needs to come from this mess.
“Better.” I look at him closely. I want him to be confused as to whether he has something to do with that.
“Can you check a few pictures for me?” His head tilts a little. “That way I can be here on official business.”
“So you don’t want to be here on unofficial business?” I smile at him like I want him to be here on unofficial business.
He laughs a little and pulls out a few sheets of paper with photos. All the guys have neck tattoos. I’m amazed he has access to so many. Seriously. Who gets a tattoo on their neck? I pick out the man I saw the night before easily.
“Is that it?”
“That’s it.” He nods.
I don’t believe him. “So, you drove all the way to the hospital so I could point out someone in a picture?” I’m suddenly glad it’s taking Leann forever to get us coffee.
“It’s close to work.” His eyes haven’t moved from mine.
I still don’t believe him, and I hope he sees the disbelief in my face. My guess is he’s pretty good at reading people.
I throw my long legs over the side of the bed, ready to be gone, but it makes me immediately dizzy.
“Whoa.” Craig catches my arm, his grasp is firm and his hands are perfectly warm. “Careful there.”
“Thanks.” I’m imagining his muscular arms around me. Imagining can’t hurt anything. I reach out my other hand and use his shoulder to pull myself to standing. He’s solid. Solid enough to make my stomach flutter like a kid.
“How are you getting back home?” he asks.
“Leann.” Only now I wish I wouldn’t have taken a ride from her because maybe
he’d
take me home.
“I’ll wait for her with you.”
“Okay.” Another smile creeps across my face. Now I hope Leann gets lost on her way back to my room.
After all that work to get to standing, I slowly sit on the edge of my bed.
Craig sits next to me, and the fun kind of nerves settle in. The ones that make me wonder—is he into me? Is he not? Can I touch him?
Talking with Craig is easy. I learn he grew up in Alaska and is just as athletic as I imagined him to be, doing everything from rock climbing to snowmachining. His blue eyes are unreal, and they hardly waver from mine as we talk. Driving off the road and ending up in the ditch might have some perks.
Our conversation feels like a first date. A really good first date.
His knee bumps slightly into mine, and he leaves his leg there, practically burning a hole through my pants. I can’t be too far off—he’s definitely into me. Is he
totally
off limits? Or do I just go with whatever he’s into? And am I a horrible, horrible person for thinking this? He said his marriage was rough. Practically over. He’s not wearing his ring… We’ve been totally flirting for the past few minutes.
“I don’t want to go, but I really should run.” He stands up, but doesn’t move away from me.
“Well, maybe I’ll see you again sometime when I’m not all busted up.” I smile, testing his reaction.
He takes a small step closer. Just close enough that his leg rests against mine again. It’s okay as long as I don’t make the first move. I think. I’m in new territory here. I do know I have butterflies in my stomach again—something that hasn’t happened to me in a long time.
“Yeah, maybe.” His eyes search mine.
I don’t even remember what I said to elicit this response because he’s looking at me more intently now, and I don’t want to miss it.
“I’m feeling conflicted,” he says quietly, his voice lowered.
“About what?” I smile, tilting my head to the side and leaning toward him, just slightly, in anticipation.
“You.” He reaches down and rests his hands on my face, and then bends lower, kissing me softly.
He pulls back just far enough for our eyes to catch.
Wow. That was fast. And really good. Single kisses aren’t supposed to float through your body that way.
