Falling For Disaster (16 page)

“This is definitely comfortable,” he mumbled as he looked around. Apparently, Jamie’s idea of “comfortable” was very different than every other person’s on the planet. Everything was clean, modern and luxurious. The entire back of the house was glass and a large deck and infinity pool merged seamlessly with the living room area. The beach beyond was so close, Finn could smell and hear the waves. He heard Jamie chuckle before his lips pressed against Finn’s cheek.

“I’m glad you like it. Look around and make yourself at home,” he said and Finn nodded as his eyes slowly drifted around the living room. Jamie took Finn’s bag and grabbed the suitcase. “I’ll unpack and get dinner started,” he said. Finn watched as Jamie carried his luggage to a room to the left, behind the living room.

“Ok. I’ll just look around…” Finn said under his breath as he slowly walked toward the back patio.

Chapter 30

“I’ll still can’t get over all of this,” Finn said as he watched Jamie monitoring fish on the grill. Jamie smiled as he turned and looked back and Finn was immediately comforted by how familiar those eyes and lips were.

“I know, I didn’t think you’d ever get here,” he said as he reached for his beer and took a sip before he went back to the grill. Finn bit his lip and shook his head as he studied Jamie. He was wearing a white linen shirt and only a peek of his tattoos were visible around the collar and the sleeves. He had on flat front khakis and leather flip flops and his hair was longer on top and swept back. Jaime looked more like a leading man than a hardened criminal as he drank beer and worked at the grill. The sun was setting and the bright pastels that filled the sky glowed around him as he talked and laughed. He talked so much. Finn didn’t know how long it would take for him to get used to it but he knew he’d never get tired of listening.

“Not that,” Finn said as he stood and walked toward Jamie. “You. Us,” he said and Jamie’s brows rose as he watched Finn. “You were so completely wrong for me and I was starting to accept that I was falling in love with someone I didn’t really like or respect. A few weeks ago I was hoping that there was some way we could live together secretly. I was ready to commit to a dismal existence with someone I was sure had been in prison and would eventually go back. I had visions of skeevy conjugal visits and us pressing our hands together over plexiglass,” he explained as he walked into Jamie’s waiting arms. They closed around him and Jamie’s chest shook as he laughed.

“That’s bizarrely the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. If you were willing to stand by me through that, I think we can handle just about anything,” he said and Finn nodded as he rubbed his face against Jamie’s shoulder. He smelled and felt so right when they were close, all the new things were less overwhelming. Jamie’s arms pulled Finn tight before he leaned away to check the fish and Finn decided he could get used to this more polished, civilized version of Saint.

“It’s kind of weird. Before, I thought that I was too good for you and I kind of hated myself for how willing I was to settle. Now, I don’t know if I’m good enough,” he admitted and Jaime’s lips were pulled tight when his head snapped toward Finn. He shook his head as he gathered Finn in his arms.

“Finn, you’re amazing and I don’t ever want to hear you say that again,” Jamie said firmly as he tilted Finn’s face up to his. “You’re everything I’ve ever hoped for and I thought that I’d lost you. After everything I did, I never expected another chance. As far as I’m concerned, I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life making it up to you,” he said as his lips lowered and pecked at Finn’s.

“I understand, Jamie. And I forgive you,” he promised and he saw Jamie’s eyes water. “You sacrificed so much and put yourself in danger for years. There’s no telling how many lives you’ve saved. You put dangerous people behind bars. I get that we just had really rotten timing and I’m so glad that
we
get a second chance,” Finn said and Jamie groaned as his lips clung to Finn’s. His hands roamed over Finn’s back as his tongue slid between Finn’s lips, searching tenderly as he pulled Finn to him. Finn moaned as he felt Jamie’s erection pressing against his hip. Finn ground against him, trying to sooth his own throbbing hard-on. Jamie shook his head as he pulled away.

“You have no idea how much this is killing me,” he complained as he set Finn away from him. “I told myself I’d let you get settled and feed you before I stripped you naked and mauled you,” Jamie said as he pushed his hand through his hair. Finn’s lips twisted and he narrowed his eyes as he watched Jamie turn back to the grill.

“I think that’s part of the reason everything feels so strange,” he said and Jamie frowned.

“Strange?” He asked as he pulled the fish off the grill. Finn stepped behind him and slid his hands up Jamie’s chest.

“Not in a bad way,” he said gently and Jamie relaxed and covered Finn’s hand with his. Finn rested his cheek against Jamie’s back, enjoying the solid warmth of Jamie’s body. “But you never waited when you were Saint, you just took what you wanted,” Finn said and he felt the long exhale that left Jamie.

“I was a monster, Finn. I took what I wanted because I figured that if I was already damned, it wouldn’t matter how much I burned. And I couldn’t control myself. I thought I was going to lose you and I wanted to take as much as I could before it happened.” Jamie turned in Finn’s arms and his eyes were so troubled. Finn shook his head as he pushed Jamie’s hair away from his face.

“You weren’t a monster. I know you said that wasn’t really you but some of it was,” Finn said and Jamie’s brows pulled together and he shook his head. Finn stopped him by cradling his jaw. “When it was just us, naked and touching, that was you. I was fucking you, Jamie. At least, I better have been. I can get over the hair and the beard but if you’re planning to change the way you suck my cock or fuck me, we’re going to have a problem,” he warned and Jamie was very still as he stared at Finn. Jamie’s cock was hard and hot, throbbing between them and Finn raised his brows in question. And in invitation. Jamie licked his lips and swallowed hard as he stared at Finn.

“Dinner,” he said a bit loudly and Finn nodded as he waited for Jamie to continue. He reached for the plate of fish and sighed heavily as he looked at it. “We should at least eat dinner,” he mumbled and Finn decided to humor him. Jamie had prepared a lovely meal and Finn was a little hungry. He took the plate and smiled.

“We should definitely eat. I don’t plan to let you leave that big ass bed for hours,” Finn said as he turned and walked to the table. He set the fish down and was about to sit when he realized that Jamie was still where he left him. Finn looked at him expectantly and Jamie appeared to be torn as his gaze flicked back and forth between the table and the bedroom. Finn felt the familiar rush he always got when he knew that Jamie was about to lose control, because of him. He jerked his head toward the seat next to his and Jamie groaned as he walked to the table. Finn bit his lip to keep from laughing as he sat and turned his attention to opening two bottles of beer. He set one by Jamie’s plate and reached for the rice as Jamie sat.

“You don’t have to enjoy this,” Jamie grumbled as he took a drink of his beer. Finn nodded as he dumped a large helping of rice onto his plate.

“I do. If not, I’ll just be in pain,” he explained as he scooped rice onto Jamie’s plate.

“Pain?” Jamie asked as he set a piece of fish on Finn’s plate. Finn grinned sheepishly as he reached for the fresh salsa.

“Your ass looks really nice in those pants and I haven’t been able to stop picturing you out of them,” he said as he cut into his fish.

“Really?” Jamie asked as he poked at his food. Finn took a large bite and nodded as he chewed.

“Yeah. I’m going to tongue-fuck you as soon as we’re done here,” he announced then pointed at his plate. “This is phenomenal!” Finn said as Jamie stared blankly at Finn’s mouth.

Finn waited for a few minutes but it became obvious that Jamie wasn’t going to say anything any time soon. Finn shrugged and continued to eat. Aside from blinking and taking a few sips of his beer, Jamie didn’t move or speak. Finn ate and occasionally glanced at the beach and the ocean. He couldn’t imagine a more beautiful evening in a more beautiful place. The sun was setting as Finn gathered the scattered bits of salsa and rice onto his fork. He hummed contentedly as he chewed and set his knife and fork down. He washed it down with a long sip of his beer and was about to compliment Jamie on the meal when there was a loud scape as Jamie jumped to his feet. His chair fell backwards and Finn jumped as he looked up at Jamie then gasped as Jamie’s hand locked around Finn’s wrist and he was hauled to his feet.

“What?” Finn asked in shock as his arm was nearly pulled out of its socket.

“Bedroom. Now,” Jamie said as they rushed across the deck. Finn would have shrugged or nodded in agreement but they were practically running until they reached the large sliding door. Jamie slid it open and dragged Finn through then slammed it behind him. Finn leaned to the side and frowned as he looked at the beach behind Jamie.

“What if someone sees us?” He asked and Jamie shook his head.

“It’s a private beach and no one would come onto the deck,” he explained but Finn wasn’t completely convinced. He hadn’t seen a soul since they arrived but he wasn’t used to having such large windows. Two sides of the bedroom were nothing but glass. Luckily, the long white curtains on the other side of the room were pulled shut. “Right…” Finn said nervously as he scanned the beach. Jamie sighed and marched to the corner. Once they were shielded from the world with more white curtains he turned and raised his hands in question.

“Better?” He asked as he approached Finn. He nodded as he reached for Jamie.

“Better,” Finn agreed as his fingers went to work on the buttons of Jamie’s shirt and his lips collided with Jamie’s.

Within minutes they were naked and their breath huffed loudly as need and anticipation became almost unbearable. Finn’s hands were everywhere, touching every hollow, sweep and ridge as he writhed and twisted on the bed with Jamie. Finn finally felt completely connected with Jamie. He knew the body that slid and pressed against his. Everything smelled and tasted so perfect as he hungrily explored Jamie from his ears to the arch of his foot. Every sound Jamie made sounded like home and Finn did everything he could to make Jamie louder. When Finn’s tongue slid into the cleft of Jamie’s ass, he was rewarded by a moan so loud and deep, it made Finn’s balls ache. Finn gripped Jamie’s ass, pinning him as he pressed his face between the firm, round globes and licked, sucked and probed until Jamie begged mindlessly. When Finn raised his head and looked up, the crisp white bedding was in a tangled heap in the middle of the bed and Jamie’s body was slick with sweat. Finn grinned wickedly as he flipped Jamie on his back and crawled over him.

“Bedside table?” Finn asked as he rubbed his nose against Jamie’s. Jamie nodded as his tongue flicked at Finn’s lips. Finn reached and pecked at Jamie’s lips before he leaned away from him to look in the drawer. There were books, pens, sunglasses, lotion, lube and condoms. Finn grabbed the condoms and the lube and raised a brow as he looked back at Jamie. “You said your test came back clean,” Finn said as he sat back on his heels. Jamie rose on his elbows and nodded slowly as he stared up at Finn.

“It did. But we never actually discussed…” His face turned pink as his eyes dropped and Finn pulled his lips in as he watched Jamie blush. “I didn’t want to assume that you were ready to…” Jamie’s voice fell away and Finn choked as he tried not to laugh. Jamie’s eyes swung back to his and they narrowed. “Don’t laugh!” He said as he sat up and crossed his arms over his chest. Finn pushed his lip out as he set his hands on the bed and stretched for Jamie’s lips.

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect you to get all bashful and demure,” he said softly as he tilted his head so he could brush his lips against Jamie’s.

“I’ve never been with anyone like that,” Jamie mumbled almost to himself and Finn wasn’t sure if he heard him correctly.

“You’ve never what?” Finn asked as he searched Jamie’s face. It was nearly red as he looked toward the window.

“I mean, I’ve never done that with a man. I did with Rose and I didn’t enjoy it,” he explained and Finn shook his head quickly.

“Let’s not talk about Rose,” he said as he breathed through the tightening of his chest. “She doesn’t count,” he said firmly and Jamie nodded in agreement. Finn pressed a quick kiss to Jamie’s lips and took a deep breath. He wasn’t mad about Rose anymore but he didn’t like thinking about Jamie with her. “What was the other part?” Finn asked and Jamie’s cheeks puffed out as he exhaled.

“I’ve never barebacked with anyone. I never got to where I trusted anyone enough,” he explained and Finn’s lips pulled into an O.

“Ok,” he said as he picked up the condoms he’d dropped on the bed. “If you’re not ready, I’m fine with using them,” Finn said despite a whiff of disappointment. The idea of being able to finally feel all of Jamie and spilling himself completely, deep within Jamie had been the sole focus of his fantasies for several days. “I can wait for that,” Finn said, as much to himself as to Jamie. Jamie shook his head frantically as he snatched the condoms from Finn.

“No!” He said loudly. “This is it, Finn. You’re all I want. I love you. I just didn’t want to assume that you were ready for that. You were so overwhelmed after I left and I knew that you almost changed your mind about a hundred times. I didn’t want you to feel like we were rushing ahead,” Jamie said quickly and Finn’s eyes blinked rapidly as he fought back tears and tried to follow along. “I love you” was very different from “I’m in love with you”. Jamie took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m nervous because it’s going to be new for me but I know it’s going to feel amazing. I’m a little afraid because I’ve always felt closer to you than I’ve ever felt with anyone else and now we’ll feel even closer but I want that.” Jamie paused and reached for Finn’s face. “Say something,” he begged and Finn couldn’t hold back the laugh that burst from his throat as he pushed Jamie back on the bed.

“You love me?” He asked as he pressed his forehead to Jamie’s. Jamie nodded as his hands slid up Finn’s chest and over his shoulders.

“So much I can barely breathe sometimes,” he said softly and Finn had to kiss him. His lips covered Jamie’s and his tongue swirled around his as he spread Jamie’s thighs and reached for the lube. Finn angled his head and the kiss became deep and urgent as his slick fingers pressed against the tight bud of Jamie’s ass. Finn traced it lightly, teasing as he sucked on Jamie’s tongue before he pushed gently and entered him with two fingers. Jamie’s head pulled back as he gasped and Finn’s heart felt like it would explode as he watched Jamie’s eyes close and his mouth fall open.

“I love you, Jamie,” Finn whispered and tears slipped from the corners of Jamie’s eyes. He reached deep and curled his fingers around Jamie’s prostate and rubbed firmly. Jamie pulled in a shuddering breath then exhaled Finn’s name as his fingers clawed at Finn’s shoulders. “Even when I thought it was the worst thing I could possibly do, I loved you. I think I loved you that first night, when I found you in front of my mailbox,” he admitted as he stroked deep within Jamie.