Falling for Grace (24 page)

Now.

How his life had suddenly gone haywire, he
had no clue. Of course, it all had to do with Marci. Just one more
thing for which he could never forgive her.

But he wasn’t going to think of that now. No
time. His prime concern at the moment was Gracie, where in the hell
she was, the reason she’d left, and to what conclusions she must
have jumped before she did.

If he could only talk to her. If she’d only
waited until he could explain the situation and discuss what was
happening.

She’d misunderstood, he was sure. Dammit! He
should have spoken to her Monday afternoon when they’d passed on
the stairs. It was just so damned awkward, he couldn’t.

He’d known he’d avoided Gracie the past
couple of days but thought she would have realized that Izzie
needed to spend time with her mother. He didn’t intend for that
time to always include the three of them, but that was the way
Izzie wanted it. He guessed the child needed that sense of family.
Even if it was only brief. That was the one thing he wanted to tell
Gracie. That was the reason he’d come to her shop Tuesday afternoon
only to find her gone. He just wanted to tell her he was doing it
for Izzie’s sake. That nothing had changed between the two of
them.

“
Honeybun?”

Carson whipped his attention to the young
girl behind the counter. He hadn’t realized she was standing there
looking at him until this moment.

“
Uh, no,” he answered. “Is
Amie around? I need to talk to her.”

“
I’m right
here.”

The voice came from his left. Turning, he
looked at Gracie’s friend. Her face was stern, her mouth in a
frown. I’m not in the mood for a run-around, he thought to himself.
Please just answer my questions.

“
Let’s sit over hear.” She
motioned to table next to the window. He followed and the girl
behind the counter brought them both coffee.

Carson didn’t think he’d be there long
enough for it to cool off, but he took it anyway.

He sat across from Amie and looked directly
into her eyes. “Please tell me where Gracie has gone.” He pleaded
softly with her.

Amie closed her eyes and took in a breath.
When she opened them, Carson knew he wasn’t going to get the
answers he sought. “I don’t know where she is, Carson. She only
left a message on my answering machine at home saying she would be
back later in the week.”

Later in the week. Maybe that would be
today, he thought.

“
Did she say why she
left?”

Amie shook her head.

He glanced away.

“
I have to talk to her
Amie. If I could just call her, explain something—”

“
I think explaining would
probably be in order. In fact, perhaps you should have done that a
little sooner.”

Ah. So Amie did know more than she was
letting on.

He looked at her again. “It was a difficult
situation.”

“
Gracie is an
understanding woman.”

“
I know that.”

“
You should have trusted
her to understand.”

“
I know that,
too.”

“
You shouldn’t have
avoided her.”

“
It wasn’t that, Amie.
There was more to it than that. It was Izzie, she was just so...”
He didn’t go on. There was no need for him to hash this out with
Amie. Standing, he tossed a dollar bill onto the table for his
coffee. “If you see her, just tell her I need to talk to her. If
she calls, tell her, too. Will you please do that for
me?”

Amie’s face softened then and she nodded.
“Yes. I’ll do that, Carson. I’ll tell her.”

With a jerk of his head, he told her,
“Thanks,” then left the restaurant. A fear like he’d never known
gripped him like a knife to the gut. He’d lost her. And then he
reminded himself that he’d consciously decided to take the risk to
love her, and that Gracie was worth the pain.

Every minute he’d loved her was worth
it.

He just didn’t know it would hurt this
bad.

* * * *

It was late Saturday evening when Gracie
came home. With her heart guarded and her mind made up, she quietly
made her way up the back stairway to her apartment, careful not to
wake her next door neighbors. There was one thing she noted as
she’d pulled into her parking space behind the shops—Marci’s car
was gone. She didn’t know what that meant, but it didn’t alter her
plans. Not one bit.

It didn’t matter to her
anymore whether Marci meant anything at all to Carson, or even
whether she slept in his bed. All that mattered was that Gracie
knew that
she
was
the only person she could ever depend on. All Gracie Hart would
ever have is herself, and it was high time she accepted that
fact.

She would remain firm in her convictions and
she would not be swayed. She’d found the solitude she longed for in
her stay in the mountains the past few days. The pain was still
there, would always be there. She’d learned to live with it before,
she’d learn to live with it again.

The thing she knew more than anything else,
however, was that she would never risk the pain again.

There would be no
children, no husbands, no lovers in her life. That just appeared to
be her destiny. There would be no more
Romantically Yours
,
either.

She’d found a new place to start over, and
that’s what she intended to do.

New shop. New friends. New life.

She’d done it before, she’d do it again.

There was only one task remaining. One more
thing she had to take care of. And she would do that first thing in
the morning. There was no use dragging this thing out.

It was time to get on with her life. Without
Carson and Izzie.

Chapter Sixteen

Carson woke with thoughts of Gracie running
through his head. Every morning this week, he’d done that. He
couldn’t rid his mind or his heart of her. He wanted her to come
back so badly he ached inside.

And poor Izzie. She’d been through it, too.
What a topsy-turvy emotional week for the two of them. He hoped
he’d never have to go through anything like that ever again.

He needed Gracie and so did Izzie. They both
loved her.

There was nothing he could do, however,
until she returned, so he set about to making things as normal as
possible for his daughter.

He rose from his bed and went straight to
the coffee-maker. It was still early and Izzie probably wouldn’t be
up for a while yet, so he decided to walk to the newsstand on the
corner to pick up a Sunday paper before he fixed pancakes for their
breakfast. A leisurely few minutes drinking coffee and reading the
paper would be just the right start for his day, he decided.

As soon as he stepped through the back door,
however, he realized that a leisurely cup of coffee and the morning
paper would be out of the question.

Gracie was back. Her Miata was parked behind
the shop. He wasted no time in turning back into the building and
heading up the stairway to her apartment.

* * * *

Gracie was about to open her door when she
heard the knock. She didn’t give herself time to prepare for who
might be on the other side, she simply opened the door and
waited.

It was Carson.

Somehow she knew it would be.

“
I was just getting ready
to come see you,” she said, her voice controlled and her demeanor
businesslike. It was the only way she could get through this, she’d
decided, to act like nothing had ever happened between them and end
this thing before it got out of hand.

“
I was just coming to see
you.” Carson smiled, and it was extremely difficult for Gracie not
to smile back and jump into his arms. But she would stand firm. She
had to.

“
Come in, then.” She
opened the door and stepped aside as Carson brushed by her. He made
his way to the sofa and sat. Gracie chose to sit in an armchair to
his left.

A moment of awkwardness swept by them, then
Gracie said, “I’ve made a decision while I was away the past few
days. I’m selling the building. I’m giving you first shot at buying
me out.”

She could tell from the look on Carson’s
face that her statement had come from way out in left field. There
was nothing more she wanted to say, so she waited for him to
respond. Unfortunately, his response was not what she expected.

“
We need to talk, Gracie.
And not about you selling this building. We need to talk about
us.”

“
There is no
us.”

The pain that raced across his face was
almost more than she could bear. Gracie glanced away.

“
A week ago, there was an
“us.” We need to talk about that. About what happened.”

Gracie shook her head, still not looking at
him.

“
Talk to me Gracie. Let me
know what you’re thinking.”

She turned to him them. “You’re a fine one
to tell me to talk. You avoided me for two entire days. I think you
should have taken that initiative a few days earlier.”

She could tell she’d hit a nerve and she was
almost sorry she’d said what she’d said, but it needed to be
done.

He slowly nodded. “You’re right. So, I’ll
talk to you now.”

“
It’s too late. I don’t
want to hear it.”

“
Well, you’re going to
hear it, whether you want to or not.”

Gracie stood and walked to the fireplace,
her back to Carson and her arms crossed over her chest. “I’m moving
in a month. I’ve already found a place. I’ll be putting the
building on the market next week unless you want to make me a deal.
That’s all I want to talk about.”

There was silence behind her. A long,
thorough silence. For a moment, she thought he might have left the
room. Finally, she turned to see him staring into the floor, his
elbows propped on his knees, his head in his hands.

When she turned to him, he looked up,
too.

“
Gracie,” he said softly,
“we have to talk about what happened this week. We have to. Please
let me explain.”

She felt her shoulders slump and fought hard
to keep her resolve, but she supposed she needed to hear what he
had to say.

“
So tell me,” she
whispered. It was all she could say.

“
Please come here. I can’t
talk to you standing way over there like that.” He reached out his
hand but Gracie could only stare at it. She wanted to take it but
was afraid with one touch, the shield she’d built around her heart
would crumble and she’d fall into him and give it all
up.

She couldn’t do that.

“
I’ll sit over here.” She
moved to the chair again, dismissing his hand. Carson dropped it
and watched her until she was settled. “So tell me what you need to
tell me,” she said, “but nothing you say is going to change my
mind.”

Carson took a deep breath and peered into
her eyes. It was all Gracie could do to keep her gaze connected
with his; she wanted so much to glance away. “Marci was here for
Izzie, Gracie, not me. I did it for my daughter. She wanted so
badly to spend time with her mother.”

“
You could have told me
that,” she bit back quickly. It wasn’t that she didn’t know that
already, it was that he’d simply not approached her with this
knowledge. She knew how badly Izzie needed to see her
mother.

“
There wasn’t an
opportunity. It all took me by surprise so damned quickly. I wasn’t
prepared for Izzie’s reaction to Marci. I just couldn’t break the
child’s heart...”

Gracie empathized with him. She knew that it
was a difficult situation. She also knew that it would continue to
be a difficult situation for a long, long time.

“
Izzie needed her mother.
I know that,” she confirmed.

“
Then why did you leave?
Why did you go without a word to me? Gracie, I’ve been crazy for
the past few days worrying about you.”

His eyes pleaded with her. Gracie couldn’t
look at them any longer. After a moment of staring off into the
room, she turned back to him. “According to Izzie, you and Marci
are perfect together. Perhaps that’s a child’s perspective and
irrational, I don’t know, but it’s entirely possible that she’s
right. The three of you looked like a family the other day. Izzie
was beaming. It was apparent she was happy. I’ve never see her that
happy.

“
Carson, I decided to bow
out for a few days. I decided that perhaps you and Izzie and Marci
needed that time. It wasn’t a heroic act or anything special on my
part; it was just what I felt needed to be done. Marci was
obviously there and Izzie needed her. I didn’t need to be in the
picture.”

“
I needed you,” he
returned softly, but he didn’t let her linger on that statement for
long. “You’re right, though. Izzie did need and want Marci. But I
didn’t. I was miserable and uncomfortable.”

“
She stayed in your
apartment.” She tried not to make it sound like an accusation, but
was afraid she didn’t pull it off.

He nodded. “Yes, she stayed Sunday night.
Izzie insisted, wouldn’t let her leave. She slept in Izzie’s bed
with her. I couldn’t deny either of them that. Please don’t hold
that against me. It was what I thought was right at the time. She
didn’t stay any longer than that night. I insisted she get a motel
room after that.”

Gracie closed her eyes and for a moment,
wondered how she could have let things get so blown out of
proportion. She knew Carson loved Izzie and would do anything for
her. She also knew of Izzie’s infatuation with her mother.