Falling For Her Navy Seal…Again (11 page)

As she turned off the water, she heard a loud
bang
and louder men’s voices. She rushed out of the shower, dried herself, and wrapped her robe around her before she tore down the stairs. As she approached the kitchen, she slowed her steps.

“I can’t believe you. That’s my sister!”

Jenesi covered her mouth. What the hell was Jared doing home?

“I know she’s your sister. I care for her. This isn’t a one-night stand.”

“Then what is it?”

“We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks.”

She heard a
crunch
and a loud
snap
then a grunt.

“Stop it, Jared. Let me explain.”

Jenesi pressed her back against the wall.

“Explain, asshole. You slept with my sister. I can’t believe you. I trusted you!”

“It’s not like that. I care for her.”

“Then what are your intentions?”

Silence permeated the air.

“I don’t know. It’s complicated. I…want to ask her to wait for me, but it wouldn’t be fair.”

A tightness formed in her throat. She squelched the urge to rush into there and tell him she’d wait forever if she had to, but his next words made her heart shatter.

“I got called back to duty. I have to report in on Tuesday. I don’t know how to tell her.”

Jenesi gripped her chest. Anger made it hard to breathe. Why hadn’t he told her?

“You know your job, Matt. You’re never going to settle down. Why are you stringing her along?”

“I’m not…I don’t want to. I couldn’t find a way to tell her.”

She slid down the wall and dropped to her knees. Tears rushed to her eyes. Pain imploded in her chest. Everything had been a lie. Everything he’d said didn’t mean anything.

“Jared, I don’t know how to let her go. I don’t think I can. And if I leave, she’ll….”

She’d had enough. Wiping her cheeks with the backs of her hands, she stood up, pasted on a smile, and stormed into the kitchen.

“You’re home!” Ignoring the bruising around his eye, she hugged her brother.

“Hey.” Jared hugged her back and leaned away to look her over. “You seem….”

“Better than you, right now.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the two. “What the hell were you guys doing?”

“Jenesi Nicole Coleman, did you sleep with him?” The anger on her brother’s face was almost laughable.

“Mind your own business.” She walked around the island, past Matthew, avoiding his gaze, and poured herself a cup of coffee. No way she could look at him right now.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Jared threw his hands up and then slammed them onto the counter.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Matthew watching her suspiciously. Well, poo on him. “I’m twenty-seven years old. I think I can make my own choices. I don’t need your permission.”

“But with Matt?” Jared pointed at his best friend.

She finally glanced at Matt, noting the shiner under his right eye. “Things happen. What can I say? Get over it.” She sipped her coffee calmly.

“Jenesi.”

She heard the warning in Jared’s voice and shrugged. “If you guys want to keep killing each other, have at it. I’m going upstairs to get dressed.” Without another word, she walked out on them, leaving pieces of her heart behind with each step she took.

She’d faced his running from her before. This time it felt like the final punch.

***

Matt frowned. Something was wrong. He replayed his conversation with Jared in his mind. Usually it took her a lot longer to shower, and he’d have breakfast made. Except he hadn’t expected Jared to charge into the house and find him in a towel, brewing coffee. Fear wrapped around his throat, but he swallowed hard and glanced at his best friend.

“I’m not messing around with her.”

“See that you aren’t. If you hurt her, I swear—”

“I’m not going to hurt her. Not if I can help it. I—” He swallowed hard. “I love her.”

Jared’s eyes widened. “Dude, that’s my sister. It’s Jenesi.”

“I know.” Matt leaned his elbows on the counter and ran a hand over his face. “How do I tell her I’m leaving in a couple of days?”

His best friend gave him a pitiful look. “I don’t know what to tell you. You’re a SEAL. That’s a whole different ball game. And you know how your mom felt about your dad being in the service. Jenesi has always cared for you, but she needs security, a home.”

Tightness gripped his chest. “And I want to give her those things.”

Even as he said the words, he knew them to be true. He couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life without her. Knowing she was here every time he came home gave him comfort, reason. And getting shot on his last mission had opened his eyes. He loved her, had always loved her.

“What do I do?”

Jared sighed. “Just tell her you’re leaving. It’s not like you’re not coming back. You just don’t know when.”

“What if I leave and she doesn’t want to wait for me? What if some other guy comes along and sweeps her off her feet?”
Just like what happened with my mom
…. Matt cursed.

“My sister is strong and she’s loyal. If she settles on someone, it’s forever. I wouldn’t worry about her. But are you sure you love her?”

“Of course.” Matt straightened from the counter. “I…want…when I see her, I think of home. When I don’t see her, I miss her smiles, her laughter, and even our bickering. I…I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Here.”

Jared grinned and clapped his palm on Matt’s shoulder. “You know I’d beat the crap out of you if you hurt her.”

“And I’d let you, if I did.” Matt drew in a ragged breath. “You think she’ll understand my leaving?”

“You won’t know until you tell her.”

“Thanks, man.” Matt grunted.

“I’m off to shower. It was a long flight getting back here.” Jared picked up his bag off the floor.

“What are you doing here, anyway?”

Jared grinned. “I figured it was time I took a vacation from all those white, sandy beaches and blue water.”

“You’re an ass.”

“I know. You’re missing out.”

“Good to see you.”

Jared nodded and headed out of the kitchen.

Matt stared at the countertop. It wasn’t like Jenesi to back down from a fight, but she’d ignored him the whole time she’d confronted her brother. She must have overheard them. With a frustrated grunt, he made his way up the stairs.

He found her dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, brushing her hair at the vanity table. “Hey.”

She glanced at him through the mirror. “Where’s Jared?”

“Off to shower.” He sat down on the bed. “You okay?”

“Sure.”

He shoved a hand through his hair. “You overheard us, didn’t you?”

She shrugged.

His eyes narrowed. “So?”

“So what?”

“You know I’m leaving in a couple days.”

Her back stiffened then she slowly set the brush on the table and stood up. “I heard. I thought you weren’t due to leave for another month. Why didn’t you tell me it changed?”

“I….” He stopped. He’d been scared, worried about her reaction, fearful of what it meant for them. “I didn’t know how to.”

“You were reading your orders when I was at the farm with my students, weren’t you? That’s what you were doing when I walked in on you in the kitchen.”

He nodded, not surprised at how perceptive she was. She’d always been that way with him.

“So you’ve known for almost a week.”

“Sorry.”

She picked up her hairbrush again. “Okay. So we have a few more days together.”

“Today and tomorrow afternoon. I have to leave by tomorrow night to make sure I’m in Virginia to report in Tuesday morning.”

“I see.”

He crossed the room until he faced her. “So where do we go from here?”

She gazed up at him. Uncertainty clouded her eyes. His chest squeezed at the look she gave him. “We go our own ways.”

Like a knife had plunged into his chest, he stumbled backward. “I see.”

“Matthew, I thought about our conversation last night. You can’t expect me to be around every time you come back from your mission. It wouldn’t be fair to me. Or you. I’d resent you each time you left me. Besides, we want different things. The sex is fun while it lasts, but I want to settle down. I want to have kids and a family.”

“And you don’t think I can give you that?”

“You’re a Navy SEAL. You live by danger and excitement. I can’t compete with that. Why make it harder between us? Each time you leave, I’ll worry about you and wonder when you’re going to return. And if we move forward and actually decide to get married and have kids, I don’t think I can handle our children not having their father around.”

Anger rose to his throat. She sounded just like his mother. “Who said anything about having kids?”

She thinned her lips. “You’re right. Can’t the past few weeks together be enough?”

He wanted to argue, but he didn’t know what to say. She’d said everything he’d feared. It wasn’t fair for her to wait for him nor was it fair to him if she bailed on him like his mother did. But then, Jenesi wasn’t his mother, right? Maybe all women were the same when it came to stuff like this. It’d always come down to him choosing his job, or his family, if he ever decided to settle down. He glanced around for his shirt and jacket. Finding them on the chair, he picked them up. “I’m going home. I’ll call you later.”

“Is it necessary?”

He couldn’t believe her, couldn’t believe this was how they were ending. “What’s necessary?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t call me.”

The virtual knife in his chest twisted, opening his wound. His throat clogged with an emotion he’d never experienced, and he nodded. He wasn’t a beggar. He’d never gotten on his knees when his mother left and he wasn’t going to do that now. He had his pride. “Then, it’s good-bye.”

“Be careful, Matthew.” She lifted her hand to touch his arm, but he took a step away. He couldn’t bear it if she touched him.

“’Bye, Jenesi.” He crossed the threshold of her bedroom and went down the stairs to his car. With each step, he could feel the blood drain from his body. It hurt more than the time he got shot. Only, this time, there was no way he’d heal.

“You’re an idiot.”

Jenesi saw her brother out of the corner of her eye as she rocked back on forth on the rocking chair on the porch. “Leave me alone.”

“I can’t believe you broke it off with him like that.” Jared sat down on the bench next to her.

“He was going to leave anyway.”

“And what if he doesn’t come back?”

She gasped. “Stop. He’ll be back. I just won’t be waiting for him.”

“You’re a fool.”

“Why don’t you mind your own business?”

“It’s kind of hard when it’s between my best friend and my little sister.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “Just ignore it all.”

“Can you ignore it all?”

She stared out into the yard. After hours of crying, she’d concluded the ache in her chest was never going to go away. Once again, she’d loved and been burned. Over the same man. “Isn’t it better to just end it before it spirals out of control?”

“Truthfully, I’ve never seen Matt like this. He’s never cared for relationships. He was always the type who could walk away without a second glance, but the fact that he was afraid to tell you when he got orders…. I think he was serious this time.”

Jenesi sat up. “He knew it was going to end.”
Right?
But the fact that he hadn’t told her…. Why hadn’t he told her?

Their conversation before he’d walked out played over and over in her mind. She’d called him out on getting married and having kids and wished he’d told her those were things he wanted also. But he hadn’t.
Who said anything about having kids?
His words echoed in her mind.

That had been another blow to her heart. She wanted marriage, wanted children—and couldn’t imagine having them with anyone else but him.

If only he loved her….

“I’m off to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, brat.” Jared brushed a kiss to her temple and went inside.

Leaning back in her seat, she gazed up at the stars. The black sky lit up with a bed of bright little lights. She recalled the night she’d sat out here with Matthew, cuddled under a blanket against the autumn chill. They’d spoken about their childhood, reminiscing over little things that made her laugh until her stomach hurt.

She missed him so much already.

How was she to endure living without him now?

Their conversation continued to plague her.

You can’t expect me to be around every time you come back from your missions. It wouldn’t be fair to me. Or you. I’d resent you each time you left me. Besides, we want different things.

You’re a Navy SEAL. You live by danger and excitement. I can’t compete with that. Why make it harder between us? Each time you leave, I’ll worry about you and wonder when you’re going to return. And if we move forward and actually decide to try getting married and having kids, I don’t think I can handle my kids not having their father around.

She heard her own words and groaned before dropping her head into her lap. She’d basically made him choose between duty and her. How could she have been so selfish? She was just like his mother….

Oh God. She covered her mouth. No doubt he’d compared the two of them. The week his mother had deserted him, he’d been quiet and sullen. She’d heard many stories of how Matt’s mom hadn’t been able to deal with being married to a Navy man. And she’d practically told him the same.

Jenesi surged out of her seat.
Fool, fool, fool
. She couldn’t believe herself. Of all the stupid things she’d done. She’d sabotaged her own chance at happiness all because she’d been too concerned with the future, when she wasn’t even giving it a real opportunity.

Grabbing her keys from inside, she rushed to her car and drove off.

Come hell or high water, Matthew Hunt was going to accept her apology, even if she had to chase him all the way to his next mission.

***

Matt lay in bed. The darkness around him gave him comfort, but it didn’t ease the growing pain in his chest. He remembered every detail of the woman who’d broken his heart. He’d walked away believing his pride made everything okay, but who was he kidding? Jenesi meant everything to him and without her, he had nothing but his job. Who would have thought his one try at love would end in such a way.