Falling for Him (14 page)

She wasn’t fragile. She wanted more. She’d waited long enough to get here and she wanted to fulfill him as much as he’d satisfied her. Lovemaking couldn’t be one-sided; it was a shared experience.

Olivia twisted in his arms, facing him. She stretched and began to run her hand along Liam’s still-hard cock. A soft groan escaped his lips but he still seemed to doze through her timid touches. She moved one hand to nimbly undo the button on his slacks and slide the zipper down, freeing her to touch him fully. Once she reached into his boxers, she found fiery skin, his cock silky smooth along the steel length underneath.

He was much bigger than her first lover, and she worried a moment that it wouldn’t work. How could all that man fit inside her? She assured herself it would work just fine—Liam would never hurt her in that way.

As she began to stroke him again, from the springy curls at the base to the darkened crest, veins began to pop out along the shaft, making his cock look aggressively strong. She dipped her head to run her tongue along his length, mirroring what he’d done to her.

Intent on learning his body, she ran her fingers all over his cock, learning every inch, curiosity propelling her. She kneaded his balls tenderly, cupping and weighing them in her hands before returning to the shaft, snaking her tongue out once more to lave him from base to tip. The spongy head was smooth against her lips as she engulfed the tip into her mouth.

“You’re playing with fire.”

Olivia glanced up at him, his gaze hooded as he observed her intently. She wondered how long he’d watched her exploring his body.

“I’ve waited long enough. I want more.”

He chuckled and then a full-blown smile formed over his lips.

“Don’t laugh at me.”

Liam drew her close, brushing an errant strand of hair behind her ear, his smile fading. “I’m not laughing at you. I just think it’s … sweet.”

“Sweet? There’s a mood killer right there.”

Liam kissed her passionately, grasping her face in his hands. He pulled away to gaze at her. “There is nothing about you at this moment that’s anything less than sexy. When I woke up and you were touching me, you just about made me come on the spot.”

“So why did you stop me?”

“I want to prove to you that you mean a lot to me. I’ve known you too long to endanger what this could be. You aren’t a rebound. You aren’t unworthy of something special. I won’t rush into intimacy with you just for the sake of fucking, no matter how much I want to be with you. I’m interested in the whole package.”

Liam pulled Olivia deeper into his embrace, holding her tightly as he rubbed her back. His words were so heartfelt and full of charm. She so wanted to believe them, but she couldn’t open herself completely to what he said. When the surgery was done and her physical therapy complete, then she would see where they stood.

Until then, she would listen with one ear and half her heart.
Who am I kidding? I’m already undone.

Chapter 13

Liam looked over the charts, his mind elsewhere. Olivia was going to be the end of his professional career if he couldn’t focus. He had semi-avoided her since he dropped her off at home in the wee hours of the morning the day before, only sending her a hello text the morning before. He knew he needed to get his game face on before her surgery the following day. Being close made him mindless, but now he seemed worse without her presence. She was getting close to obsession territory, something he had never experienced with a woman.

“Dr. Palmer?” Petra, his nurse, popped her head in. “You’ve got a visitor.”

He hadn’t been expecting anyone, but nodded to her when he saw the wide smile curving her lips. She ducked out and Olivia’s head replaced hers. “Hi.”

He felt instantly giddy, rising from his desk. As she moved into his office, he saw she carried a large basket.

“What’s all this?”

“You work so much and I doubt you eat right. Petra told me what time you had a break today and I decided to bring you a picnic.” She smiled at him and it was like a punch to the gut. He was well past fallen.

“Perfect timing. I’m starving.” He rounded his desk and began moving items off the large coffee table before the two couches. She dropped the basket and rooted out sandwiches, drinks, and fruit.

They sat on the floor, side by side, and ate off the coffee table. Amicable silence filled the space as they nibbled on their food. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Her skin glowed with a radiance he’d never noticed before and his fingers itched to touch her, everywhere.

She dropped her hands to her lap, her half-eaten sandwich cradled in her grasp. “You’ve been avoiding me, haven’t you?”

He sensed her disappointment, but there was no reason to lie. She’d realized what he was doing and she deserved honesty. “A little, but I have a good reason.”

Olivia’s eyes grew large as she looked up at him. “You didn’t enjoy the other night?”

“No! I mean, yes, I enjoyed it, but no, that isn’t the reason. Your surgery is tomorrow and I need to focus and prep. I can’t seem to think straight when you’re around. I don’t know how you could imagine I didn’t like our time together. I did. You were incredible.” He punctuated his words with a caress of his fingers across her cheek.

She smiled down at her sandwich. “Oh.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“I’m trying but with so little experience, I wasn’t sure.”

“You’re an extraordinary woman.” Liam pulled her sandwich from her hands and put it on the table and gathered her face in his hands, kissing her squarely on the lips. “An extraordinary woman who brings me food. What could be better?”

Her smile was guileless. She’d simply wanted to be near him and had considered him before coming. Instead of barging in, demanding to be seen, she’d come with a picnic basket, modestly asking for his attention for a little while. She hadn’t rattled his ear off with inane conversation. When she spoke, her words had worth.

Why hadn’t he noticed her sooner? She’d been right before him all his life, ready to be plucked like the ripe berry she was. If he’d seen all she could offer much sooner, perhaps he’d have been able to prevent those bastards she’d dated from hurting her and making her thick walls go up.

He could only consider how lucky he was to finally see her for all she was.

*

Liam’s smile made butterflies flutter in her stomach. She wanted him to touch her, taste her again, to make love to her on his office desk. The next day, she would lie on a table and they would operate on her back. She might not be able to walk away from that operation.

If she lost feeling in her legs, would she still have feeling elsewhere? Would her ability to be intimate be taken from her at the moment when life was handing her an opportunity?

That was the kind of ironic luck she had. She’d snare the man of her dreams and then lose feeling in her nether regions, making an intimate relationship impossible.

But she wasn’t here today to jump his bones, no matter how delectable he looked in his light blue scrubs. Liam Palmer needed a little doctoring of his own.

“My father told me last night that he blamed himself for my fall. If he hadn’t had the tree house built, then I would have never fallen.”

“Well, that just ridic—”

“And then my mother butted in and said it was her fault for telling him to build it for me. I wonder every day if I hadn’t run to the steps or been more mindful, could I have prevented it? Is it my own fault for not being more careful? Or is it the fault of the carpenter who built it? Had he put down some nonskid material on the steps, maybe I wouldn’t have slipped. Then we have you blaming yourself, too. So who do I point my finger at? We have a ton of suspects and all of them are ridiculous.”

“I hear what you’re trying to do, b—”

“No ‘buts,’ Liam. It wasn’t your fault. You were twelve years old and it wasn’t malicious. It was simply an accident and I can’t continue to allow you to shoulder this guilt.”

Liam watched the fervent ire rise with the blood in her face. He heard the words, knew she was speaking sense, but he just couldn’t release the pain and guilt he’d held on to for so long. “It’s been with me so long; it’s a part of me. If I didn’t have it in my life, what would I have?”

“I’m sure you’ll find something to fill the void if you set your mind to it.” Olivia pinned him with her stare.

He clenched his jaw, knowing she was right. “I know I need to let it go, but it’s hard to release something like that.”

“You’ve been trying to pull me out of my shell, making me face who I can be. Now it’s your turn. Just say it out loud. It wasn’t your fault.”

Liam stared at her for a moment, unease filling him. “It wasn’t my fault.”

“Can you say it with a little more feeling?”

“I said what you asked, can we drop it?” He wasn’t ready to let it go. Not when her surgery was the next day. He didn’t need this added emotion heaped on his shoulders right now.

“Fine. Consider it dropped. For now.” Olivia rose, clearing the trash. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good luck, Olivia.” He pulled her close and kissed her lightly.

“You’re the one who needs good luck.”

* * * *

The sun’s glow was barely visible over the horizon when Olivia readied herself to go to the hospital. She’d barely slept the night before, fitfully tossing and turning in her bed. Between her errant thoughts of Liam and her wild case of nerves, it had been next to impossible to settle her mind enough to find any rest. She would have anesthesia administered before she went under the knife, so she would sleep all day anyway.

Her conversation with him the day before weighed heavily upon her. She had wanted him to release the guilt before he performed the surgery, but he’d refused. She had mixed emotions about going into this with his cross bearing down on him. What if there was a mistake? She knew she didn’t want to be left in a wheelchair the rest of her life, but what would that do to Liam? Her stomach was in knots, and she was seconds away from calling the whole thing off.

A soft knock sounded on the door and she saw her mother’s face peek in.

“Ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Olivia closed the clasp on her small overnight bag and threw it over her shoulder, still not a hundred percent sure she’d go through with the surgery. There was still time to back out.

Before she could make it through the door, her mother wrestled the bag from her grasp and pulled her into her arms, nearly suffocating her. “You know this is completely your choice? If you don’t want to go through with it, I’ll stand behind you.”

Olivia drew back and gazed at her mother. “What’s this? You’re the one who was assured she’d get her way.”

“Nerves. I haven’t slept a wink all night.”

“That makes two of us, but Liam will do a great job.”

“He better or he’ll answer to me.” Her mother kissed her on the cheek. “I’ve got the first floor room ready for your return. Liam said you would be in a wheelchair or walker for your first few days home and it would make it easier for you to be on the lower level.”

“Nice thinking. And if everything goes screwy, I might be stuck down there forever.”

“Don’t say that!”

“There is the chance. There’s no reason to ignore the possibility.”

“Positivity begets positivity. You’re going to be perfectly fine. There’s no reason to think otherwise.”

“Yep.” Olivia wished she could get the butterflies out of her stomach and believe that sentiment.

She linked arms with her mother and walked down the stairs, meeting her father in the foyer. He took her bag and quietly kissed her forehead before walking out to start the car. Olivia and her mother got inside and began a solemn trip to meet Olivia’s future.

* * * *

As he stalked up and down in the scrub room, Liam realized he had never felt so unbelievably nervous before a surgery in his life. Twenty years of waiting and studying and preparing and he was minutes from correcting the mistake he’d made so long ago. Of course, he could proceed if he could get his case of nerves to come under control. His hands shook with a violence which wouldn’t bode well for his patient. In this state, he could potentially ruin her chances of a full recovery and do more harm than good.

He could see Olivia, lying on the surgical table through the small window in the scrub room, ready for him. The anesthesiologist was just beginning with her, prepping her for the procedure.

In his mind, he saw a different Olivia, sitting across from him at dinner, her brilliant smile nearly blinding him. She’d always been special to him, a young lady to protect in order for him to one day repay. Now she was a fiery female, a vixen who had set him on fire with her passionate demands.

Liam attempted to clear his mind so he could be ready to do what needed to be done. She was a distraction for him now, ever present in his mind, making work nearly impossible. He’d had to dig deep to find the control he needed.

He was unsure he had any left.

He knew this surgery in and out. He’d performed it dozens of times, so he knew he would be extremely skilled by the time it was Olivia’s turn under the knife. Now, he wasn’t sure he could go through with the operation in his current state.

Twenty years he’d worked for this day. He’d said it would be he and he alone who was her savior. He had to be the one to perform the surgery in order to exorcise his demons.

Yet he knew his ego couldn’t override the potential harm he could cause her. If he did anything wrong and it ended with Olivia unable to walk, he’d never be able to live with himself.

One of his nurses walked into the scrub room and began to collect his surgical gown and mask for him once he’d washed.

“Page Dr. Peterson. Call him to the OR, stat.”

* * * *

“Liam, you’ve done this surgery repeatedly. Why do I need to scrub in?”

Liam didn’t have time to explain everything to his mentor, nor did he want the embarrassment of that explanation hanging over his head, but he’d have to give Dr. Ethan Peterson something. “We don’t have time for me to explain everything. Just know I’m compromised in this situation.”