Falling for Sarah (23 page)

“Yes. I come from that.”

“I’ve known you for years, Ethan. You’re not like them.”

“How do you know? You know my track record. I’ve never dated anyone for more than three months. I’m a lousy gamble, Sarah. You and Kylee need more than that.”

Her voice gentled. “Yes, we do, but I’m willing to bet on you.”

“The odds aren’t in your favor.” He sat on the chair in the corner of the room with his head in his hands.

“Why is this bothering you so much all of a sudden? I know you’ve never been pleased with the situation, but this is really eating at you.”

He looked at the floor. “There was never you. There’s never been anyone important enough to worry about messing up.”

Sarah stared at the miserable man in the corner so desperately afraid to hurt her, and her heart melted. “I love you.”

His gaze flew to hers as he dropped his hands. “God, don’t say that.”

A glimmer of hope shone in his weary eyes, and everything was all right. She walked to him, kneeling on the floor, taking his face in her hands. “I love you, Ethan.”

He rested his forehead on hers. “I love you too.”

She smiled, kissed him.

He eased back. “I need to sort this out, Sarah. Let me figure this out so it’s good for us, for all three of us.”

“Okay.”

Chapter 15

E
THAN WATCHED SARAH FROM HIS office window as she played with Bear and Reece in the front yard. Pretty in a light pink t-shirt and jeans, she tossed a toy for the dogs to chase. They each held an end of the bright yellow rubber—covered in drool no doubt—and brought it back. After each pursuit, they fell at her feet. She bent forward, pony tail bouncing, and rubbed canine bellies into ecstasy.

He turned from the happy scene on the lawn and looked at his desk, jaw clenching. Ethan stared at copies of the letters Sarah had received during the week-and-a-half she’d been living with him. Each note, written in blood-red ink, was more vulgar than the last, promising her in one sickening way or another the ultimate pleasure before her death. It appeared to both him and the police that her stalker escalated each day she spent behind the protective walls of his estate.

The perpetrator no longer bothered to hide that he was the ‘Blue Chip Rapist’. He raped and murdered a woman every day, sending L.A. County into a panic, putting the police force on high alert.

Sarah remained unaware of what went on outside his home, blissfully ignorant to the fact that every woman murdered was a replacement for her.

Kylee was due back in seventy-two hours. He didn’t know how to tell Sarah it would be best if she continued to stay away. She’d marked the last eleven days off on her calendar with Kylee’s arrival date circled in pink and purple with a big happy face. But he wanted Kylee home as much as she did, so they would have to find a way.

Perhaps Hunter and Morgan would be willing to move in for awhile when they arrived back on Saturday. He imagined Hailey should come along too. It would be a full house, but everyone at risk would be under one roof, making protection easier for him and his associates.

Ethan glanced outside again just in time to see Sarah and the dogs heading in. He closed the file as the front door shut. Paws and footsteps made their way down the hall toward his office.

Knocking on the doorframe, Sarah poked her head in. The scent of the sea and wildflowers followed her into the room. Cheeks rosy from fresh air and exercise accentuated the bright blue of her eyes. She smiled and staggered him with her beauty. “Hey, I need to call Lisa down at
Celebrity
. Then I’ll make us some lunch if you want. I’ve been starved all day.”

“You don’t have to wait on me, Sarah.”

She walked to his desk. “Making you a sandwich isn’t exactly butler service.” Her hand snagged his, pulling him toward the door.

“What are you doing? I thought you were going to call Lisa.”

“It can wait. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages, and we live in the same house.”

Ethan had been careful to give himself plenty of space. After their discussion last week, he’d needed it. She loved him. Her declaration thrilled and terrified in equal measure. His feelings for her were so big, so all consuming, they overwhelmed and shook him to the core.

As Sarah had been more relaxed and easy in the eleven days since she’d told him, he’d become more uptight and concerned. The stakes were high. He couldn’t mess this up.

Sarah tugged again, heading backward down the hall. “Let’s see… I can do sandwiches, pasta and shrimp salad, or we can heat up the chicken from last night.”

The phone in her office started to ring and she hesitated.

Ethan caught her around the waist, almost bumping into her. His hand flew up to the wall before they slammed into it. “How about you go get that, and I’ll heat up the chicken from last night.”

“I’ll be quick.” Sarah dashed off toward her office.

Lunging across the desk, she grabbed the phone. “Sarah Johnson.”

“Sarah, it’s Jarrod down at
Celebrity
.”

“Hey, Jarrod.” She sat in her plush office chair and began to doodle on a piece of scrap paper. “I was just about to call Lisa. I need to schedule a time to come in and check on details for the big photo shoot coming up.”

“Good luck with that one. Things have been busy with the special edition we’re attempting to put together for Monday. It’s been hell around here trying to get bios on all the victims. He’s killing them faster than we can come up with copy.”

Brows furrowed, Sarah stopped drawing the antennae on her smiling butterfly. “What are you talking about?”

“You know, ‘The Blue Chip Rapist’. That’s why I’m calling, actually. I’m hoping you can provide me with an insider statement—colleague to colleague. One of my sources close to the investigation revealed there may be a correlation between your case and the recent attacks on the women of L.A. County.”

The pencil fell from her numb hand. “What?”

“My source tells me you continue to receive threats mailed to both your home address and the address of...” Papers rustled in the background “…Ethan Cooke. Can you confirm this? Is Ethan Cooke Security in charge of your personal protection at this time?”

Jarrod’s voice buzzed in her ear as he continued on. Heart pounding, hands trembling, Sarah hung up. She turned the leather chair toward her computer screen and typed in the web address for the
L.A. Times.
The page loaded instantly and she stared at fourteen blonde haired, blue eyed faces similar to her own. The headline read, ‘L.A. County Crisis: Victim Count Continues to Rise’.

“Oh, my God.”

Sick to her stomach, Sarah pushed back from the desk, almost knocking the chair over.

Breath rushing in and out, she hurried into Ethan’s office. He had to have the notes Jarrod spoke of. With hands that shook, she opened file folder after file folder, shoving them off the desk until the photocopies of blood red ink on cardstock stopped her dead. Her legs buckled at the thickness of the stack and she sat before she fell.

One by one, she picked up the paper and read. ‘With their last breath I think of you’; ‘She was almost perfect, but she wasn’t you’; ‘When they scream, I call out your name’. Sarah flipped to the next sheet and stared. ‘I’ll never stop until I have you.’ She stood, knowing that was the absolute truth. He would keep killing until he had her.

For almost two weeks she’d closed out the world, pretending the ugliness in her life didn’t exist. While she’d sat back in her cocoon, fourteen women had paid.

Running from Ethan’s office up to her room, she grabbed her purse and took off for the driveway. There had to be something she could do.

Carrying two steaming plates of chicken, peppers and brown rice, Ethan stopped when the front door slammed. Frowning, he walked into his office, looked at the mess covering the floor, spotted the file open on his desk. Copies of cardstock lay in two piles.

“Shit! Fuck!” As he turned to go find Sarah, he watched her run past the window with car keys in hand.

“Sarah!” Plates fell with a crash as he took off through the house at a sprint. He whipped the door open as she stepped from grass to concrete. “Sarah, stop!”

She glanced behind but kept going.

“Hey!” Ethan accelerated forward, catching her by the arm before she made it to the blue sedan.

“Let me go!” She struggled against him.

“That’s enough.”

She whirled around and pushed him. “They’re dying! They’re dying because of me!”

Ethan grabbed her wrists, shocked by the venom spewing. “They’re dying because of
him
.” He held on tighter as she fought to free herself from his grip.

“No! Have you seen their pictures? There are so many pictures. Why didn’t you tell me?” She shoved at him again, tears pouring down her cheeks.

“Stop it!” He pulled her body to his, immobilizing her. Nose to nose, he gave her a shake. “What good would it have done? There’s nothing you can do to stop this, Sarah, absolutely nothing.”

“How do I deal with this, knowing that each time he takes a woman away from her child or husband, mother or father, it’s because he couldn’t get to me?” Sobbing, she fell to her knees.

He knelt down in front of her, staring into devastated eyes, taking her chin in his hand, desperate to make her understand. “You keep reminding yourself that you’re just a madman’s excuse to do what he would’ve done anyway. If it wasn’t you, Sarah, it would’ve been someone else. I can promise you that.”

Weeping, she shook her head. “I want this to be over.”

“I know.” He pulled her close in a hug, kissing her hair. “I know.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist. “I miss my baby, Ethan. I need her here with me.”

His heart ached from the agony echoing in her voice, in each racking sob. “Just a couple more days and we’ll all be together again.”

“Oh, that sounds so good. I’m counting on it.”

He held on to her as she soaked his shirt with tears, until her weeping turned to deep shuddering breath. He closed his eyes, wishing he could make it all go away.

Several minutes later, Sarah moved her head, staring into his gaze. “Kylee will be safe here, right?”

Sarah’s eyes were red rimmed and swollen, her face blotchy and wet with tears. He couldn’t have loved her more. “You’ll both be as safe as I can possibly make you.” Ethan kissed her lips and wrinkled his nose. “You’re salty.”

She gave him a watery laugh.

He smiled before it disappeared. “Where were you going?”

She glanced down before she met his gaze again. “To the police station. I wanted to see if there was something I could do to help.”

“Going off alone won’t help anyone. You staying safe and giving them one less person to worry about will. That’s all you can do. Please don’t try anything like that again.” He took her face in his hands. “You scared me.”

She closed her eyes, nestling into his hold. “I’m sorry.”

He helped her to her feet. “Are you feeling any better?”

Her lip wobbled. “Not really. Fourteen women are still dead. Unless they catch him soon, there’s bound to be more.”

There would be more, Ethan had no doubt. “We’ll keep hoping they get him.” Unless he got him first. Either option worked for him.

He wrapped his arm around Sarah’s waist, pulling her close. He changed the subject, wanting her to think of happier things, normal, everyday things. “Let’s go back inside and find something to eat. I’m willing to bet Bear and Reece made quick work of the meal I left all over the floor.”

She chuckled, resting her head on his shoulder.

“There should be enough chicken if we want to try again,” he said against her hair.

“Sounds good to me. Then I have a big mess to clean up in your office.”

“We’ll save that fun for later. Let’s get out of here for awhile. We should probably hit the grocery store. My house is about to be invaded.”

“Invaded? Kylee and Hailey don’t eat that much.”

“Morgan and Hunter will be joining us too, and you can bet Austin will wheedle his way into a meal here and there.”