Falling for Seven (25 page)

FIVE MINUTES AFTER TEN
,
my first shift was officially over. I hung up my apron and came round to the customer’s side of the bar with over one-hundred dollars in tips in my purse. I’d never been hard up, but this was my first
real
earned money and I felt a certain level of pride. I was moving on in my own job with my own money and without Jordan. He was the past and I was not about to look back. It’d thrown me when he turned up here earlier. From the shock on his face, I think it’d thrown him just as much seeing me there. He wasn’t at the bar for me, it was a total coincidence. He was there to have a good time, and like so many times I’d done before, I spoiled that for him my presence alone.

I stretched my jacket across my shoulders, arranging the hood and pulling free my ponytail. I massaged my fingers into my scalp, grease from the kitchen clinging to me like a veil. I held out my arm for the door, but someone beat me to it, a hand reaching from behind me to pull it open. Hard muscle under satin skin, it could have been no one else but Julian. I stepped out first without looking up. Footsteps confirmed he was following me.

“Good shift?” he asked.

“I’m beat,” I said in way of a hint.

“Let me take you to my place.”

I stopped still and waited for him to appear at my side. His eyes looked bluer out here in the dark and wearing all dark clothes. A blue so deep it took great strength to look away. “I have my own place,” I said, picking the pace back up.

“But you’re hungry, right? And I have food, so…”

I laughed. “What, and I don’t?”

“And then there’s the assignment…”

“Yes, because you care so much about that,” I mocked. He smiled and my stomach went hollow, causing me to pull in a breath of air.

“No, you’re right. I don’t,” he said, his smile falling away. “All I care about is spending that time with you. I know you’re hung up on some next guy who honestly, Angel, I wouldn’t wipe my ass with, but I really think I could help you get over him.”

The fact that I was contemplating his offer confirmed that I felt more for Julian than what was appropriate. I could fight it till day turned night and I was blue in the face, but the truth would still be there, underneath it all, I would still feel it—feel him.

“I like you, Angel. I really fucking like you. No bullshit this time.”

“I smiled, narrowing my eyes as we stood alone in the street. “You like me as in you like spending time with me?”

“You’re one of the only people,” he said. “You’re real. I like that. And I trust you.”

“I trust you, too,” I said. The honesty in that one unassuming statement was one of the truest things I had ever said. Trusting Julian now came as easily as breathing. I wasn’t sure when it started, but he’d grown on me quicker than moss. “But Kit.” I shook my head, reality shattering fragile dreams. “I couldn’t do that to her. Not again.”

“Me and her, we’re done. I told her tonight.”

“You did?” I asked with a measure of skepticism. “What did she say?”

“She wasn’t over the moon, but she knows now. She’s probably at home this minute, sticking pins in a doll shaped just like me.” He laughed, but I got the feeling that bothered him.

“Without trying to sound like a sadist, I’m glad you did that. If Jordan had done that for me… I might be in a better place now.”

“Some people just aren’t meant to be, Angel.” He stared so hard into my eyes, I almost forgot to breathe. “And then some are.”

“I’m still not right, Julian. I can’t tell you how long I’m going to feel like this. I don’t care how much you don’t like Jordan, he meant something to me and that doesn’t just change overnight.”

“Listen, I’ll feed you tonight, tomorrow is tomorrow. This is me and you. I don’t expect anything from you, but I like it when you’re there. You think you can handle that?”

His cool fingers found mine. Unlike Jordan’s, they were slightly calloused from playing football, and they were bigger—more demanding. He tugged on my fingers and I dropped my gaze to hide my disobedient smile. He dipped his head to see me, and I laughed when I saw his grin. “So, are you coming? I’ll make real food. Tacos or something.”

This time, I grinned. “Because I’m Mexican?”

We both started walking, the sidewalk scarce with people braced against the cool night. I could see Julian’s Range Rover parked up across the street. “No,” he said. “Because I like them.”

<>

I felt nerves everywhere, pulling up outside of Julian’s home. When he stopped the engine and got out, I followed, noticing lights on in the downstairs windows. “Is your mom home?” I asked. I should never have agreed to come here.

“That’s her car,” he said, nodding towards the silver Ford parked in front of his own car. “So looks like she is.” He waited for me to catch up before he opened the door, the sound of talking and soft music floating out from the hallway. He stood by the door till I was inside, then hung back, closing it behind us. Two women were chatting in the living room, Beyoncé singling melodies from a CD player by the TV. Both women turned to look at me when I crept into the room, and I reached for a smile, introducing myself just so I had some kind of filler to put between us. “Hi. I’m Angel.”

“Are you the girl that signs by any chance?”

“That’s me.”

“Well, lovely to meet you. I’m Olivia, I gave birth to Julian.” Olivia didn’t have any of Julian’s characteristics. I could see Taj in the blonde hair, but her eyes were a rich brown, and when she stood up, she was only an inch or two bigger than me.

“Mom,” Julian groaned from the kitchen.

“This is Kristina,” Olivia motioned me into the kitchen with her, and Kristina who I had already met, followed. “Would you like some wine?”

“Um, I’m underage… just… so you know,” I trailed off, all eyes on me.

Both Julian and his mom bit back smiles and Kristina went ahead and rolled her eyes, sitting down at the table.

“I won’t tell on you.”

“Mom, just get her a drink.”

Olivia took the red wine from Julian and poured me a glass. “Julian, did you know Kristina was here?” She didn’t say it loud, but it wasn’t exactly quiet.

“Yes, why?” he asked, exasperation clear in every note spoken.

“I’m just checking.” She put the glass in front of me on the kitchen counter and then said to Kristina, “Don’t you even think about asking for one of these.” She turned to me, raising her glass to cheers. I clinked my glass against hers and took a greedy sip. “Kristina here is three months pregnant.”

My eyes went wide, cutting to Julian who had his back to us with an array of colored veg in front of him.

“It’s not his,” Kristina said brusquely.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I—”

“They dated,” Olivia said, her face turned away from both Julian and Kristina. “Young love. It didn’t work out.”

“Mom, really. Shut up.” Julian swiveled his head, warning Oliva with his eyes. She shrugged one shoulder and sipped her wine.

“Angel.” Olivia looked me up and down, like she was trying to gauge something purely from what I was wearing. “You’ve got such a beautiful name.”

“Thanks.” I was officially embarrassed. “My mom picked it. My dad swears she was on drugs.” It was said as a joke, but the truth was, she probably was on drugs. No one really knew what the hell she spent most of her time doing.

“He doesn’t like it?”

I stopped my happiness from ebbing, and kept my smile fixed in place. “Not really. My middle name is Francesca. He picked that, hoping it would catch on as my first name. It never did.”

“So we can call you Franny?” Kristina piped up. The banging of Julian massacring tomatoes stopped and Kristina lifted one hand, innocence the look of the day. “Does anyone know what a joke is anymore?” She got out of her seat and gave Olivia a hug. “I’ll come by tomorrow.”

Olivia hugged her back and I felt oddly out of place standing next to them. I shifted out of the way of their closeness. “You’re going? You don’t have to.”

Kristina looked at me. “Yeah, I do.”

After Kristina left, all three of us sat round the table and ate Julian’s version of the taco.

“It’s good,” I said, taking my last bite. I’d ate the whole thing, but only out of politeness.

“Just don’t make any more,” his mom threw in. “I’m going to bed. Don’t forget to shut off all the lights, and it was lovely to meet you, Angel. You should come round more often. God knows, Taj would love it.”

I should?

“Uh, yeah,” I said. No other words were available, especially not “yes.”

Julian cleared our plates and kissed his mom goodnight on her cheek. The moment of sentiment had me smiling. Who knew Julian was such a softy?

Julian and I moved into the living room and he turned on the TV, a rom-com flicking onto the screen. Something with Cameron Diaz in; I wasn’t sure of the name. I tried to stay as far away from these kinds of films as possible. Julian sat on the other end of the couch, holding a bottle of beer. “This your scene?” he asked me, motioning to the screen.

“No. God, no. I’m much more a Transformers kind of girl, or Friday.”

“Oh shit. What do you know about Friday?”

“I’m from Los Angeles. That movie is in my blood.”

“I keep forgetting you’re a Cali girl. For the sake of schoolwork, how do you like Boston?”

I took a drink of wine, and then swallowed. “I like it enough. It’s okay.”

“That answer might go down with anyone else, but not me.”

“Well how do you like Boston?” I asked, flipping his own question onto him.

“I was raised here. That’s not the same.”

“Just answer, and then I will.”

“Okay… I don’t care where I am, so long as I’m playing ball. Boston is where I live, that’s it. Home is where the football is. I’m happy to leave it, I’m happy to stay.”

“I miss Cali. But I miss Movida and my mom more. Boston doesn’t even really come into it. It’s a place, I go to college here. I can’t see myself hanging around forever.”

“I don’t really get this bad blood between you and your dad.”

“I was ambushed into coming here. My dad left when I was a baby. I mean, he gave us money and he came to visit, but never to stay. And my mom, she was always disappearing. Our housekeeper, Movida, raised me most of the time. She never left me, she made sure I ate, went to school. She was more like my mom than my real mom.”

“Where’s your housekeeper now?” I must have given him a funny look because he said, “I mean Movida. Where’s Movida?”

“She died.”

“Oh. My bad, I’m sorry.”

“Our apartment in Santa Monica was in my dad’s name and he just sold it to a buyer. So when my mom comes back—” Julian frowned. “—Because she always comes back,” I clarified, “she’ll have no place to go. He just did this to her because he can. It’s not like he needs the money.”

I shrugged, sensing he didn’t understand my reason for resentment and focused on the TV like I was interested in the… OMG, sex scene! Clothes were being ripped off, breasts were on show. And oh, god, the moaning!

Julian worked around my awkwardness like an expert. I gulped more wine and then the glass was being taken from my hands. I watched him as he put it on the floor and then moved his hand to my waist, beckoning me closer to him. I scooted over, a slither of space still visible between our legs, mine on full show in my work skirt. “Sounds like you and your dad just need to talk. Get both sides out there and find a way to meet in the middle.”

“It won’t make a difference. I can’t talk to him.”

“But you talk to me.”

“And you must think I’m the biggest drag to ever step foot from under the sun.”

“No, but I’ll tell you what I think. I think you’re suffering a hard time and you need to step away from it for a minute, stop and look around—see what else is out there. I think that for so long, the one person who should have had your back, has fucked you around so much you don’t know which way is up or down anymore, and things have gotten out of control. I think you are hurting and you need some space to breathe. You’re at this crazy time in your life and you should have someone who will stop and stand still with you, give you a chance to catch up and get your bearings.”

Julian put down his own beer and stood up, taking me with him. “I’ll stand still with you, if you want me to. Do you want me to?” I felt his hand in mine and I looked down at our joined palms. I thought I wanted so much, and I was scared that if Jordan changed tomorrow I would fall back into old habits. He had that kind of control over me, and I still couldn’t see clearly through the dark. I was hurting, but I wasn’t ready to let go yet. But standing still, with Julian? I could do that. I was already doing it. Taking time out from life with him was too good an offer to say no to. I’d been tilting to the wrong side, but he would steady me. It mightn’t be forever, but I’d take for now over the way I had been feeling.

“I’m tired,” I said.

“You want to go to bed?”

“Yes.” I swallowed his gaze with mine. “Take me to bed.” The intensity in Julian’s eyes deepened. “Then tomorrow, I’ll stand still with you.”