Falling Hard (Hidden Secrets Book 6) (13 page)

How the fuck can everyone tell?

“I did, but unless I plan on moving over there… I’ll never see her again,” I said sadness pouring out with each word.

“Man, that sucks. What’s she look like?”

“The most beautiful girl in the world. She’s got this almost black hair, kind of curly. These bright blue eyes and a body that would tempt even a saint. She walked into my life and nothing will be the same again… I’m not sure she felt the same for me though.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I figured if she thought of me the same way, she’d have begged me to stay. But she didn’t,” I shrugged. “The trip was a success, though. I realized that the love that I felt for Mary was different than what I thought…” I trailed off.

“Than what you feel for this chick? Do you love her man?”

“Yes and I don’t know. I might.”

Admitting it to Jake was hard. I knew I loved her, but it just felt like sealing my coffin if I said it out loud right now. I was still holding on to hope that somehow we’d find a way to be together.

“Wow,” he breathed.

“Yeah, I’m officially an idiot.”

Jake laughed. “Why in the world would you think that?”

“Because I loved a girl that didn’t see me beyond a friend and now I’m in love with a woman that I can’t have. That makes me a major idiot of epic proportions.”

“It’s an ocean not a black hole. Don’t give up hope is all I’m saying.”

“Yeah, thanks man.”

As I leave Jake’s tonight, my chest is tighter than ever before. It’s only been a few days since I’ve last seen her, touched her, tasted her, felt her… Will this ever get easier?

Chapter Fifteen

Kristy

I kept reading his note over and over again. Even as I bounced through the city, I read it constantly. Honestly, I had no idea what I was going to find at the end, but I felt close to him while I continued to search. Second to last stop took me inside the shop where he gave me that shopping spree.

“Oh Kristy. I was worried you weren’t going to make it in here before I left for the day.”

“I don’t get it,” I said more to myself than to Mrs. Darting.

“When you were in here before, Mr. Lane had me set some things up for you. He said that he loved seeing you smile and your enthusiasm for the unknown, so he wanted you to go to all the spots that he will never forget because of you. Then you were to come here so I can give you what you’ve actually been running after all day.” She beamed at me.

“Wh-what was that?” My throat clogging with emotions as my eyes filled with tears.

“This,” she said as she handed me an envelope.

With a shaking hand, I reached out and took the envelope from her hands. Her eyes were filled with tears as well. Walking over to a chair, I collapsed into it, still holding the envelope in my hands. Unable to wait any longer, I opened it up and pulled out a letter.

Dove,

By now you know that everywhere reminds me of you. You were involved in everything I did and discovered over the time I spent in Australia. No matter if we never meet again, you will always be with me deeply embedded in my heart. I’m sorry I made you run the city, but I wanted you to see that I can’t look at my vacation without thinking of you and I’m so thankful for that.

Now for the final piece to your surprise, I need you to go to this address. Stop reading now and go…

I could have cheated, but I don’t want to. I want to hold on to this moment with him. This address is familiar, but in my sadness clogged brain, it wasn’t registering. Telling Mrs. Darting goodbye, I walked out of the shop and headed for the train. As I waited for the train to arrive at my destination, I thought about all the places that he’d had me stop. I really had taken him all over the place. But he wanted to experience the life in Oz. So I gave it to him.

Walking off the train, I blindly walked to the address and in through the doors. Finally realizing I’d walked into a building I pulled his letter out again.

I’m hoping you didn’t cheat, but I wasn’t sure if you would so I covered my bases. Hand the guy at the counter the small envelope.

I looked inside and saw that there was another envelope in there. I walked to the desk, smiling at the guy through my tears.

“Um, I know this is going to sound weird, but um I’m supposed to give you this.” I said, handing him the envelope.

He smiled at me. “Yes, I’m aware of this. Great guy, your boyfriend. Follow me.”

We walked to an elevator and stepped inside. My back was aching with all the stuff that I now carried in my bag. It was on the verge of breaking at the seams. We rode in peace and quiet for a while, before we stopped on the top floor of the building. Smiling the man exited the elevator, he walked down the hall to the second door.

Placing a key into the lock, he opened the door and stepped back. Looking at him quizzically, he gestured that I should enter the room. My heart was hammering in my chest. I was unsure of what to expect on the other side of this door.

As I pushed the door opened and walked inside, the first thing I see is a huge sign. It read:
Welcome Home Dove!
My eyes filled with tears as I turned to face the guy that brought me up here. He stepped forward a little and handed me the key he’d used to open the door.

“Welcome home Miss. Enjoy your new living arrangements. If you need anything I’m right downstairs. This button here calls right down to the desk. This is the final message,” he said, handing me back the envelope I handed him downstairs.

I’m confused, but stunned silent. Silently, I opened the letter and pulled out his last message to me.

This is for you. I’ve paid all bills for up to six months. If you still need more time, I’ll continue to pay them for you. It’s time you got back from life what you’ve given it. The building is secure. You can’t get into the elevators or stair well without a key or being buzzed in. Security is there twenty-four/seven. I want you to walk to the window please.

I did and was struck with the amazing view of Sydney and the harbor I have. It was breathtaking. Looking back down to his letter, I continued to read his last words to me.

I got you the top floor apartment because you can now look out over the whole city that I lost my heart to you in. The distance between us means nothing when I know I’ll be able to close my eyes and be with you again and again. It may not be you, but at least it’s a piece of you. I’ll settle for whatever I can get at this point.

If you do nothing else for me, please do this. Take your life back, Kristy. You’ve lived in a lie for far too long.
You
deserve all life has to offer. Claim it. I will never forget you or our time together. My heart hopes that our paths will cross again someday, but my brain tells me it’s more than I deserve.

Please take care of yourself. I couldn’t bare it if something were to happen to you.

Raining you in kisses, hugging you tight, whispering ‘I’ll miss you’ and ‘Goodnight’,

Nate

Tears fell quickly down my cheeks. My head lifts and I looked back out over the city that I’ve always loved, but no longer feels like home. Looking back down at his letter, I kept reading the same line over and over again, ‘
… I lost my heart to you in.
’ That had to mean he loved me, right? He was in love with me and I was with him.

Looking around me at my apartment for the first time, it was all open to the living, dining and kitchen. Turning, I saw a little hall and headed down it. There were three doors. I opened the first one on the right. It was an amazing bathroom. Straight across from it was a room set up for an office. I walked to the door at the end of the hall. Opening the door, I was shocked to find a bedroom that had me ready to sleep the minute I entered.

A large bed sat opposite of the door. It had several pillows with a dark frame. There were two other doors in the room as I spun in a circle. The door to the right of the bed was a huge closet. I dropped my bag inside, and then walked over to the other door just on the other side of the entrance to the room. Behind this door, I found another bathroom, but in grander proportions than the bathroom off the hall.

Walking back out to the kitchen, I opened cupboards and found them fully stocked. Then I opened the fridge and found another envelope inside. Opening it, there was a wad of money with another letter.

I tried to make sure I covered the basics for you, but I’m sure I’ve missed something girlie or some shit. Here’s the last of my money that I brought over. Use it however you’d like.

Nate

I finally had a place of my own and the only thing it cost me was my heart. Why does it feel like such a high price to pay? I’d much rather be in the streets and have Nate with me than being in this amazing apartment without him. However, there wasn’t much I could do about that right now. But I’m going to.

* * *

If lives had theme songs, I heard mine today.
Come Wake Me Up
by Rascal Flatts played when I was sitting at the cafe down the street talking with Mrs. Darting. It was as if that song was written for me to hear. My eyes grew misty listening to it.

“Dear, are you okay?” Mrs. Darting asked, concern evident in her voice.

“Oh,” I sniffled and wiped my eyes. “Yes. This song…”

“I believe it could be a sign hun. That man needs to see that you’re serious about him. I think that’s what he was begging you to say when he left.”

Mrs. Darting and I have been having lunch together since Nate left. She said that I don’t need to be alone right now. I cried to her and told her all about our last two days together. Well, almost all about it.

“You think so? I mean he could have easily said it and I would have jumped into his arms begging him to stay.”

“Yes, but from what you’ve told me, he’s taken that chance once before. I bet he’s scared to jump again.”

“You really think so?” I asked eagerly leaning forward in my seat.

She laughed. “Yes, dear.”

Flopping back into my seat, “Well, shit. This whole time Nate and I could have been together if I would have said something. Oh, God!” My hand flew to my mouth as I realized something.

“What dear?”

“I wished him well,” groaning and dropping my head in my hands. “He probably thinks I don’t care about him.”

“I don’t think that’s the case and even if he did. He
loves
you. So if you went to him and told him how you felt, he’d take you into his arms and never let you go,” she smiled.

“Then I know what I’m doing. I just have to save up to get it. Which means I need to find a job… Crap!”

“I keep telling you. You can have a job at my shop. Work as often or as little as you want.”

“Really!”

“You act like this is the first time I’ve offered. Yes. I’d be honored to have you work for me. Besides, I love the suggestions you gave me at our last couple lunches about the finances. Maybe I’ll have you take over there.”

Practically bouncing in my seat, I clapped my hands with a huge grin on my face. “I’ll work wherever you want me to Mrs. Darting. Oh, do you know what this means? It means I might be with my Nate soon!” I exclaim as I moved and wrapped my arms around her.

My smile stayed on my face the whole way home. Practically dancing into the building where Lachlan started laughing when he saw me. Lachlan was a great guy. He checked on me every night, said that Nate made him promise to do that. It always warmed my heart that Nate thought of me in such a way that he’d take steps to ensure my safety.

“Now this is the happiest I’ve seen you in the past two weeks,” he smiled.

“I know! I just got a job and realized that Nate loves me like I love him.”

“You just realized that? The apartment was what then?” He joked.

“His protective instincts coming to play. Tell me you wouldn’t do that for a girl that you knew was homeless.”

“I’d give her some spare cash to help. Put her up in a hotel room for a little while. But sorry I wouldn’t be buying her an apartment and having all her bills routed to me to pay for.”

My mouth dropped open. “I’m sorry. He did what?”

“That apartment you live in is yours. Free and clear. It took a month for all the paperwork and check to be delivered before it was finally paid for, but it’s all yours.  You didn’t know that?”

Shaking my head, “No. All he said was that he’d paid for up to six months… Oh my God,” I breathed.

“The man loves you.”

In the past two weeks, I’ve relived every moment we had together trying to find an answer to the question that ran over and over in my head. If I was alone in losing my heart to him. I’d stare out over the city and remember our time together, but now… Now I know that I wasn’t alone, but I
was
the one to let him walk away.

As I said goodbye to Lachlan and headed up to my home, my heart started to beat again. Just the thought of working my way to him was enough for my heart to wake from its depressed slumber. Falling asleep tonight was easier because my heart was happier and I had a goal. Pressing play on my iPod (that was in my house), I listen to it because now it will keep me focused on the goal ahead of me.

* * *

Almost two months have passed since I’ve seen or talked to Nate. I miss him so much every day, but I’m getting closer and closer to seeing him again. I’ve been working my tail off with Mrs. Darting. We’ve found several avenues for her to expand and others to back off of. She’s making more money now than she’s seen since she opened she said.

She took a chance on me and I’m so glad that I’ve been a help and not a hindrance. Today I’m working the floor because one of her other girls called in sick. I love working the floor just as much as getting behind the scene and working with the numbers. Of course, I couldn’t go passed the changing rooms without thinking of our time together there. He’d never made me feel more beautiful and desired than he had at that moment.

“Kristy?” Came a voice behind me.

For some reason this voice sets me on edge and caused my stomach to tighten. Turning I slowly faced the man I’ve ran into a few times.

“What the fuck?” I whispered. “How do you know my name?” I said louder.