Falling in Love With Her Husband (11 page)

grateful for his patience because I doubted that other men

would have been as understanding.

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Falling In Love With Her Husband

Ann’s Point of View

When I woke up the next morning, my entire body

ached. I glanced at my hands which were red and sore.

The burn was going to leave a scar but was healing nicely. I

didn"t want to get out of bed, but I wanted to make Todd

breakfast and wish him luck on his interview.

I attempted to cook scrambled eggs again. Again, I

had difficulty getting the egg yolk and white out of the shell.

Bits of shells kept finding their way into the small bowl. After

trying to successfully crack four eggs, I finally got two eggs

perfectly cracked. I stirred them together with butter and

poured the mixture into the pan. I turned to clean up the

mess from my failed attempts. When I returned to the pan, I

realized the eggs were badly burnt. My aggravation

surfaced and I angrily threw the pan across the room.

Would I ever get the hang of cooking?

“Ann, are you alright?” Todd yelled from upstairs.

I gasped and quickly ran to pick the pan and burnt

eggs off the floor. “I"m fine! I...I accidently dropped

something. Everything"s fine.”

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I hastily cleaned the pan and cracked the remaining

eggs I had into it. I hoped I would succeed this time or else

Todd would have to eat fruit again, which I knew wasn"t very

filling. I stayed with the pan and carefully stirred the eggs.

Fortunately, they turned out correctly this time.

Todd"s eyes lit up when he saw me. “Thank you for

making breakfast. I hope you didn"t go through too much

trouble.”

Surprised, I realized that I would go through the

horrid ordeal all over again because it made him happy.

“Aren"t you going to eat anything?” he asked as he

sat at the table.

I placed the plate of eggs in front of him and handed

him a cup of water. “I"l eat when I feel hungry.” My stomach

growled but I ignored it.

After he ate, he left for the interview and I decided to

eat. It was easier to make mistakes without someone

nearby who might witness them. I threw the slices of potato

in the pan without wiping oil on the bottom of the pan first. I

knew the recipe book said to do that, but how important

could oil possibly be? Since potatoes didn"t require stirring

like the eggs did, I left the kitchen and collected the laundry.

I didn"t notice the smoke right away. At first, I

assumed the sudden odor was coming from the laundry.

Perhaps, this soap smelled bad. As the smell grew

stronger, I lifted the wet laundry to my nose. It smelled good

and clean, not smoky.

That was when I remembered the potatoes. I ran to

the kitchen, my hands still wet and soapy, and inspected the

potatoes. I grabbed a flour sack towel and grabbed the

handle of the pan. I tried to scrape the potatoes off with a

spoon, but they stuck to the bottom. Once again, I had

botched up cooking a simple meal.

That"s when I started crying. What was I doing

here? I was used to servants who waited on me and served

me food. I had no idea how I"d manage to survive out here.

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I couldn"t live on fruits for the rest of my life. What made me

think I could do this? I shoved the pan into the sink and

threw the towel on the table.

Many thoughts raced through my mind. I could go

back to Virginia. No, I was married now and I must stick to

that decision. But what about an annulment? We hadn"t

consummated the marriage. No, I made a vow to God. I

could persuade Todd to go back. No, he"d be miserable and

I"d stil have to face Kent and Rebecca.

Then my anger surfaced. This was all Kent"s fault!

He was the one who approached me. He asked my father

for permission to call on me. Why did he initiate a romantic

relationship with me if he was going to choose someone

else?

I broke into a fresh wave of tears. I made the choice

to come out here, and Todd was being kind to me. I didn"t

deserve him. Not only did I not deserve him, but I couldn"t

take care of the household tasks that farm wives did.

“What made me think I could do this?” I asked myself

as I stared at the burnt pan.

***

The next day, I experienced a bitterness toward Kent

and Rebecca that took me by surprise. While Todd was at

his new job at the bank, I paced back and forth in the parlor,

unable to concentrate on the household chores I needed to

accomplish. The bitterness turned into anger, which burned

brighter and hotter as I recalled all the lies that Kent once

told me. How foolish I was!

Hoping to burn off my anger, I took a long walk

through the fields. The sunlight brought out the brilliant

yellows and light greens of the land, but I was too caught up

in my memories to notice. At one point, my anger reached a

point where I had to run. I ran as fast and as hard as I

could, hoping to drive all traces of Kent from my mind. But

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he haunted me without reprieve. “She actually believed I

loved her,” I imagined him telling Rebecca. I squeezed my

eyes shut, as if that would stop the pictures of Kent and

Rebecca laughing at me.

At some point, I collapsed on the ground, exhausted.

My mind whirled through my relationship with Kent, the end

of it, my hasty marriage to Todd, and the long trek to North

Dakota until they all became one big mix. My rapid

breathing and aching muscles prompted me to lay still. The

images in my mind finally began to fade as I became aware

of my hunger. I had forgotten to eat anything that morning.

After a few minutes passed, I grew tired. Relieved, I

gave myself up to the darkness that enveloped me. By the

time I woke up, the sun was low in the sky. I gasped. Todd!

He would be worried. I jumped up and ran in the direction of

the house. I hadn"t realized I had gone so far into the field.

I ran until my side hurt and then I had to walk, and the walk

back seemed to take forever. I saw Todd riding his favorite

horse in the field, calling out my name.

I stopped and waited to catch my breath. When I

could manage it, I called out to him and waved my arms. I

grinned. I looked at silly as my mother.

He turned his horse which galloped to me. He

jumped off the horse and hugged me tightly. “Thank

goodness you"re alright. I feared the worst.”

Overwhelmed by his reaction, I returned his hug.

Did he think I left him? Did he think someone took me

away? “I went for a walk and I fell asleep in the field. I

didn"t expect to be gone for long.”

“There are coyotes out here. You could have been

harmed.”

Coyotes? I shivered.

He released me. “I"l need to buy a gun, just in case

one tries to attack either of us. But we can worry about that

later. You must be hungry. Would you like to take a break

from cooking and get something to eat in town?”

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I felt empty as soon as he pulled away from me. My

growling stomach reminded me of more pressing matters I

needed to attend to than wondering about his hug. I readily

agreed, excited to eat a good meal for a change.

***

The anger did not leave as I hoped it would. If

anything, it seemed to intensify. Sunday came and we went

to church. Unlike the church we went to in Virginia, this one

was filled with farmers who wore old clothes. I shouldn"t

have been surprised but I felt out of place in my extravagant

clothes.

Todd seemed as nervous as I was. A momentary

flicker of homesickness washed over me. If I could see my

parents again... If I could talk to Agnes... I quickly brushed

the tears from my eyes and followed Todd to the pew.

After we sung the hymns, the middle-aged preacher

talked about anger and how we needed to forgive those who

upset us. The lesson wasn"t lost to me. I knew that this was

something I had to deal with. I reflected on my anger at

Kent and Rebecca. Did Kent care for me, even a little,

during our courtship? Could he help loving Rebecca?

I sighed. I was angry, and I needed to forgive them.

When it came time for everyone to silently pray, I prayed for

the ability to let the past go.

The service ended. Todd and I stood up, ready to

leave, when John and Barbara Russell approached us.

They were ten years older than us, and they had two sons

and a daughter. Calvin was eight, Bruce was five, and Molly

was two. I was thrilled to discover that they owned the farm

next to ours. They invited us to dinner at their house, and I

was happy to get out of cooking again.

By the time Todd and I arrived at their house, we

were famished. Barbara"s food tasted so good that I ate

until my stomach ached in protest. I wondered if I could

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ever learn to cook as well as her. I hesitated to question her

cooking methods, but I was sick and tired of eating

overcooked and bland food.

After the men left for the barn, I offered to help

Barbara clean the table and dishes, which was one of the

few things I was good at. As we worked, I tried to think of

how to ask for cooking advice without sounding

incompetent.

“So, what brings you and Todd to North Dakota?”

she asked as she washed a plate.

I dried a cup. “We moved here because Todd knew

someone who knew Mr. Martin. Todd"s currently working at

the bank in town in order to save up enough money to buy

farming equipment.”

She smiled as she washed a dish. “I"m sure John

will love teaching Todd all he knows about farming. Calvin

and Bruce are learning, but they are still too young to do the

bigger tasks. Did you grow up on the farm?”

“No. I lived in a city. Actual y, Todd and I grew up in

wealthy households, so we"re new to everything out here.”

Something about Barbara told me I could trust her. “Todd"s

father refused to offer him assistance if Todd left banking. I

think it"s hard on Todd to be alienated from his family. I

hope they come around to accepting his decision.”

“What about your parents?”

“They like Todd, but I"m not sure they wil approve of

how I married him. We eloped without telling anyone. I left

a note telling them about it before we left Virginia.”

She handed me the dish. “Wel , you"l find there are

more important things than wealth. What John and I don"t

have in riches, we make up for in other areas.”

“Is it hard to make money as a farmer?”

“We live modestly. Sometimes I sell quilts in order to

buy nice things.”

Making quilts? “I have a lot to learn.”

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“So did I when I married John ten years ago. I grew

up in town. My mother taught me to cook and sew, but I

didn"t know what I had to do to be a farmer"s wife until I

came out here.”

I set the plate in the cupboard. “How did you meet

him?”

“We attended the same school, but he was two

grades ahead of me so we never talked much. Besides he

quit school in the eighth grade so he could work all day on

the farm. When I was seventeen, I went to a barn dance,

and he asked me to dance. The rest is history. I didn"t

believe I could live on the farm and like it and the first year

was tough, but I wouldn"t give up this life for anything.

Getting through the first year is the secret.”

I hesitated before asking, “Did you always cook as

wel as you do now?”

She grinned at my compliment. “Good cooking

comes with practice.”

“I never learned how to cook.” I hoped she wouldn"t

laugh at me.

Thankfully, she didn"t. “I suppose a wealthy mother

figures her daughter wouldn"t have to cook. You had

servants cook for you?”

I nodded.

“Would you like me to teach you what I know?”

“Yes. I was going to ask for your help.”

“Then we"ll start tomorrow. I can go to your house, if