Falling to Pieces (20 page)

"I'm sorry for dragging you out on the middle of the night.
Again
. And for blubbering all over you.
Again.
”
God, I was such a mess.

"Don't ever be sorry for your pain
, Angel. It means you care. That you have a heart. Otherwise it couldn't break like this." He looked so sad.

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

“Angel? Because you are one.”

“What?” I was suddenly concerned he’d made a stop at DJ’s before coming over.

"I mean it. Look at you. Nothing about this is easy." His gaze wandered around the room, settling on the back of my closed door. "As far as I can see, nothing about your life is easy, at all. And yet here you are." His eyes came back to mine, leaving me utterly speechless. "I know Kiernan didn't want to hurt you, but I think a lot of the reason he didn't tell you sooner was because he didn't want to
lose
you."

"But, I'd never
—"

"He knows that . . .
now
. But a lot of girls would have. Hell, his own father did. Can you really blame him for worrying about it?"

My head rocked slowly from side to side on the pillow. Of course I couldn’t.

I couldn’t tell under the day-old stubble if Caulder had dimples like Kiernan, or not, but it didn’t make his smile any less devastating. "I should get going. You hanging in there?"

"Yeah." I was hanging
, alright. By a thread. "Thank you, Cal. For everything."

"Good night, Angel." He bent over to place a brief kiss on my forehead and then he was gone. Almost as quickly, exhaustion claimed me and so was I.

Twenty
One

If the smells drifting from the pan in front of me were any sign, I’d found my calling. Over the past hour, I’d successfully sliced, diced, marinated, and sautéed. All without causing myself bodily injury. It was a minor miracle. That, or I had a really excellent teacher.

“Make sure to stir it every five minutes or so, until the sauce thickens.” Mrs. Parks swirled her wooden spoon around the pan set on the burner in front of her, and I followed suit.

Kiernan and
Caulder were out getting in some ‘male bonding time’—I was almost afraid to ask—when I arrived. The minute I walked through the front door, their mother had pounced on the opportunity, dragging me into the kitchen and digging out a half dozen cookbooks. I loved every single second of it. And now we had a mean looking chicken stir-fry for lunch.

“I hope this doesn’t come off as insulting . . .” Mrs. Parks set her plate down beside me and pulled up a chair to the small eat-in kitchen table. “I know your family’s on a bit of a budget, so I went ahead and
made copies of some of the cheaper recipes I could find. It’s none of my business . . . I just want to make sure you’re eating right.”

My gaze followed the stack of papers she pushed across the table as the vice inside my chest I thought only Kiernan had access to
tightened. Apparently, it was genetic. I could already feel the telltale sting in the corners of my eyes. Jeez, what was it about this family that turned me into a leaky faucet?

“Jade? I didn’t mean to—”

“I’m sorry.” Shoving back my chair, I was halfway to escape when her hand closed over mine.

“Please w
ait. I’m the one that’s sorry. I didn’t mean to be insensitive. I—”

“You weren’t. It’s not that. It’s me.” I tried again to pull away, but she wasn’t having it. I could see where her son got his persistence from. “It’s nothing.”

“Sweetheart . . . you’re crying. It’s obviously
something
.”

Giving up the fight, I settled back into my seat, eyes fixed on the food growing colder by the second in front of me.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be such a mess.” I was really hoping to leave it there, but Mrs. Parks sat back, watching me with infinite patience. “You’re just so wonderful.”

“What?” A surprised smile lit her face.
“So wonderful I made you cry?”

“I mean . . . you taught me how to cook. And you took the time to find recipes that I could afford. And . . . and . . .” My eyes welled up again, forcing me to stuff the tears back down and my voice to come out strained. “And
. . . you
care
.”

The vice cinched tighter and I gasped as more tears overflowed, blazing paths down my
cheeks. It was just a stack of recipes. Such a dumb thing to cry over.

“Oh, honey.” Mrs. Parks scooted her chair closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Of course I care. I just
want you to be healthy. It’s the nurse in me coming out, that’s all.”

“It’s just that . . . No one’s ever . . .” Why was I still talking?

“That’s not true. I’m sure your mother—”

“No. She doesn’t care.”
The moment the words slip through my lips, I wanted to reach out and snatch them back. What a horrible thing to say about my own mother. Especially to Mrs. Parks—another mother. She must have thought I was the most ungrateful child a parent could get stuck with.

“I’m sure that’s not true. But the fact that you believe it is, is unacceptable. Come on. Get your coat.”

“Where are we going?”

Mrs. Parks was already halfway down the hall before I caught up with her. My stomach lamented the fact that we were leaving lunch behind, but my heart was too busy pounding out a frantic rhythm for me to notice.
She didn’t answer. Just handed me my jacket and pulled on her own.

I followed her silently out to her SUV, knowing damn well where we were headed long before she verified I lived in
Halfmoon Park.

***

It felt strange standing outside my own door, waiting for someone to answer it, but Mrs. Parks had walked right up—as soon as I pointed out which one was ours—and knocked, without expectation of me letting her inside.

I knew
Mom was in there because we’d passed her car on the way in. All hope that she was passed out in her bedroom where she wouldn’t hear the door went down the drain when I heard her shuffling around and muttering to herself. The door jerked open and breathing ceased to be an automatic response to living as confusion clouded her face and her eyes darted back and forth between Mrs. Parks and myself.

“She in some kind of trouble?” Mom didn’t sound particularly concerned
with the fact that I was being escorted home by some random adult.

“No. Of course not. Jade’s a lovely girl. My name is Claire Parks.” Mrs. Parks extended her hand and my mother stared at it like it was some kind of foreign greeting.

After a moment, Mrs. Parks cleared her throat and dropped her hand to her side, unwelcomed. Mom, for the most part, continued to stare at her, casting occasional glances my way. Each one told me how profoundly unhappy she was at finding a stranger on her doorstep and that’ I’d be hearing about it later.

“What do you want, Claire Parks? And what are you doing with . . .
her
?” It occurred to me then that I couldn’t remember my mother ever referring to me as ‘her daughter’. The lack of recognition left a bitter taste in my mouth.

“Well, this concerns her, so would you mind if we spoke . . . inside?”

I knew that particular request was likely to be met with a door in the face, but the couple from next door came home at just the right—or wrong, depending on how you looked at it—moment. With a withering glare aimed directly at me, Mom spun around, disappearing into the dimly lit apartment. We weren’t going to get more of an invite than that, so I nodded Mrs. Parks inside.

“What is this all about?” Mom cracked the top on another can and I had to put a lid on the groan squeezing its way up my throat.

Mrs. Parks eyed Mom’s beverage of choice, but didn’t comment. “It’s about your daughter. I think there may be some . . . misconceptions between you two that you may want to work out.”

Mom was digging through a drawer for God only knew what. I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell from the way her shoulders tightened that we weren’t going to get the response Mrs. Parks was hoping for. In fact, I could tell that—if Mrs. Parks hadn’t been there—now would have been a good time to run for cover.

“Excuse me?” She turned slowly and I cringed at the blatant outrage on her face. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

Mrs. Parks stood her ground beside me, something I admired. “I’m someone who’s worried about your daughter. Maybe if you’d like to put the drink down—”

“Get out of my home!” I took an unconscious step back as spittle flew from Mom’s lips. Mrs. Parks had crossed the unspoken line, bringing her drink into it.

“Maybe we should—” I was ready to cut our losses and sound the retreat, but Mrs. Parks was more stubborn—and insane—than I gave her credit for.

“No. Mrs. Carlson—”

“It’s M
s. I never married that good-for-nothing piece of trash that spawned her. All that man ever did was saddle me with unwanted baggage that ruined my life.”

I sucked in a breath and silently cursed myself. When was the truth ever going to stop hurting? Mom didn’t notice, or she didn’t care, but Mrs. Parks did. “Jade, I want you to go call Kiernan.”

“What?”

“Go outside. Call Kierna
n and have him come pick you up.”

“But . . .” I spied
Mom, who had gone back to rooting through her drawer, completely ignoring our exchange. “What about you?”

“I need to speak with your mother. Privately.”

“I don’t think—”

“Jade.
Go.
” She wasn’t asking. Mrs. Parks was kicking me out of my own house. And like the coward I was . . . I went.

The
shame of leaving her there alone to face my mother’s untamed wrath ate at me as I dialed Kiernan’s number with shaky fingers.

“Hey. Are you at my place already? We’re on our way back. We should be there in—”

“No, Kiernan. I’m not at your place.”

“Oh. Okay, are you home? Do you want me to come pick you up?”

“Yeah. I’m at home.” I bit my lip and then dove right in. “With your mom.”

“My mom?” I could hear
Caulder’s voice saying something in the background, but I couldn’t make it out. Kiernan shushed him before returning to me. “What’s my mom doing there?”

“I don’t—” I had to clear my throat to loosen it enough to get the words out. “Talking to my mom. She wants you to come and get me.”

“We’re on our way. Meet me outside. I’ll be there in five.”

My mother’s voice blasted through the door, loud and angry, making it hard to breathe. Without thinking, I ran for the stairs. I couldn’t hear anymore. I didn’t know what the two of them could possibly have to discuss, but I was certain I didn’t want to find out.

Tugging on a pair of gloves, I stepped outside into the cold. Wind whipped around the corner of the building throwing my hair in my face as a midnight blue Bentley pulled into the lot.

“Hey.” Kiernan reeled me in for a quick hug and kiss the minute he was out of the car.

“What’s going on up there?” Caulder came up behind me and I couldn’t help feeling surrounded. And more than a little guilty.

“I don’t know. Your mom told me to leave.”

“Should I—?” Caulder rolled his head toward the front door.

“No!” One member of the Parks family was more than enough. “She said they needed to talk
, privately.”

“No offense, Angel, but I don’t really feel comfortable leaving her alone up there with your mom.”

That made two of us. “She may be . . .
vocal
every now and then, but she’s in no shape to hurt anyone, physically.”

Caulder’s
gaze shifted to Kiernan who nodded his agreement. “It’s true. And you know Mom can handle the rest.” He tried to smile at me and failed miserably. “Working in the ICU comes with the added bonus of developing a thick skin. You should hear some of the crap nurses have to listen to.”

Caulder
still didn’t look ready to bail, and truthfully, if I thought for one second that sending him up there would convince his mother to leave, I may have opened the door and ushered him in myself. But it wouldn’t. I knew now where Kiernan—and even Caulder—got their determination from, and Mrs. Parks wasn’t going to leave until she’d done whatever it was she’d set her mind to do. What that meant for me remained to be seen.

“Let’s go.” Kiernan dropped a warm hand on my lower back and directed me toward the car. “Mom wanted her out of here, we’re getting her out of here. She’ll be fine, Cal.”

His brother hesitated only a moment longer before joining us beside the Bentley and opening the passenger door for me. Despite how cramped his long legs must have been in the backseat, he let me ride shotgun beside Kiernan.

“Are you alright?” After steering us out of the complex and onto the main road, Kiernan’s hand settled on my knee.

“I’m fine.” Except for the part where I was completely
freaking out
.

“Jade.” Kiernan’s eyes flicked to me and back to the road ahead. “Please don’t lie to me.”

I shot him a look that said more than I meant it to and he grimaced. “I know. I know I’m the last person on the planet that should be asking for honesty from you but—”

“I won’t lie to you, Kiernan. I’m just a little nervous about what’s going on back there, and how my mom’s going to react when I get home.”

“If our mom stirs up trouble,” Caulder leaned between the two front seats, planting a hand on my headrest to stabilize himself, “I’m sure she won’t mind you crashing at our house for a few days until things settle down.”

“No.” Lord, no. All I wanted was for this to be over with. Suck it up, face the music, and move on. Until then, I was going to be one big raging ball of nerves. Letting it stretch out over days? No doubt I’d make myself sick. And extending this would
only serve to piss her off more than she already was. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Jade—” Kiernan spoke up and I was feeling outnumbered again.

“I’m going home tonight, Kiernan. I have to.”

“But what if—?”

“I can handle my mom.”

My hand settled over his and he frowned back at me. “I hate it when you say that. I hate that this is your life.”

“I know.” And the fact that I did know that eased some of the strain in my chest.

***

Kiernan took my coat, and finding no logical excuse to keep them on any longer, I removed my gloves, as well. Handing them over to a distracted Kiernan, I counted down the seconds to impact.
T-minus-5, 4, 3 . . .
He hung my jacket on a hanger beside his own, tucking the gloves into the pocket and shutting the door before turning back to me.
2, 1 . . .