Falling to Pieces (7 page)

Possibly. “I can’t—”

“Life doesn’t last forever, Jade. You can’t forget to live it.”

Something in the way he said it . . . He wasn’t just saying it. It wasn’t some line to get me to do what he wanted. He really, truly meant it. And it made me think. When was the last time I did something just for the hell of it? Ever?

I couldn’t think of a single instance. Not one time where I’d done something simply because I
wanted
to. Would it be so bad to experience that just once? Yeah, there would be fallout. An unexcused absence from school—not that mom would ever notice, or care—and Doug would be pissed, but he’d get over it. What if it was worth it, just this once, to take the risk and stop being so afraid all the time?

“Okay.”

“Really?” I couldn’t blame him for being surprised by my answer. It kinda surprised me, too.

“Yeah. You only live once, right?” I had absolutely no idea where this new person had come from and taken control of my body, but I was along for the ride now.

“Exactly!”

Seven

I trailed into the diner behind Kiernan where I watched him inhale the largest stack of blueberry pancakes known to mankind. It was part impressive, part disgusting
, to witness. I, on the other hand, poked at my cheese omelet with not quite the same gusto he displayed.

I only got through about half before I couldn’t eat another bite. My stomach wasn’t all that big and my metabolism was lacking the stamina Kiernan’s seemed to have. He wanted to make me take the rest home for later, but regretfully informed me the leftovers probably wouldn’t keep stashed in his bike all day. Not to mention—I was only guessing here—but the smell of rotten eggs wafting from his sleek machine probably diluted the whole sex appeal it had going for him.

We rode for nearly an hour non-stop and I was beginning to wonder if he had a destination in mind or if the plan was just to drive around all afternoon. Not that it mattered. As the sun rose, so did the temperature. That combined with the heat of Kiernan’s body pressed against mine, was more than enough to make up for the cool air gliding over us as we cruised. I couldn’t feel the wind on my face, thanks to the helmet my head was stuffed into, but it caught the ends of my hair and whipped them around wildly. I felt . . . free. Like I could breathe for the first time, which was ironic seeing as the helmet had grown progressively stuffier since I’d put it on, but that didn’t matter.

I was on the back of a freaking motorcycle. With Kiernan Parks
. Headed to who knows where. We picked up speed as we merged onto the highway and all of my worry, and fear, and anxiety just slipped away with every mile we covered.

By the time we coasted off an exit, I caught myself creating a mental list of words, trying to describe what it was I was feeling. I had a decent vocabulary and most of the adjectives floating around my head were S.A.T. worthy, but the one that seemed the most accurate was childish and
simple, and yet foreign enough to me to make it remarkable. I was
happy
.

Even after Kiernan killed the engine, phantom vibrations continued to race through my legs and backside, forcing me to use his shoulders to balance myself as I slid off the bike.
While Kiernan dropped the kickstand and dismounted, I worked to dispel some of the road wear from my body. I was midway through a full-blown, arms-over-head, back-arching, total-body stretch when it occurred to me what I must look like.

I didn’t dare look at Kiernan, knowing all too well what that smile of his did to me. My luck, there would be dimples involved, and God only knew what I’d find to embarrass myself with then. Not looking was definitely the safest option. So I set my sights on keeping one foot moving in front of the other as I headed for the building at the head of the parking lot, assuming that was our final destination.

I hadn’t even bothered to pay attention to where we were until the warm, buttery scent of popcorn enveloped us the moment we stepped through the door. Kiernan had brought me to a movie theater. But not just any theater, the one with the giant IMAX screens and plush chairs. For a girl who rarely got to indulge in basic cable, it was like hitting the jackpot.

I hadn’t seen a movie in a theater since I was seven, and the birthday girl had no choice but to invite the en
tire class, including me. At the time, I’d jumped at the chance to go out with people my own age. It hadn’t even crossed my mind to bring a present, seeing as gift giving wasn’t something we ever did at my house. The fact that I didn’t bring one was the hot topic for the next week at school. I never went to another birthday party again.

“What do you want to see?”
Kiernan abandoned his perusal of the mini-arcade to join me in the center of the lobby.

Oh crap, options. There was nothing worse than options in a social situation. It meant I had to choose. My palms began to sweat as I browsed the possibilities. Posters lined the walls for everything from comedies to horrors
. I’d never heard of any of them. How was I supposed to choose?

Kiernan stood beside me as I
twisted my brain and stomach into knots. “It’s just a movie. There’s no right answer.”

Exactly!
“I know. It’s just . . . I don’t care. Really. You pick.” He’d insisted on paying for it, anyway.

“It’s okay to have opinions, you know? You’re a
llowed to have feelings, Jade. Thoughts, even.” The light teasing lacked the vicious bite I’d grown to expect. Maybe it was the warmth in his eyes, or the soft smile tugging at his lips that lessened the blow. “What do you want to see?” Stepping behind me, Kiernan took my shoulders, turning my body until I was once again face-to-face with the plethora of posters. “Look at the posters and don’t think about anything else. What do
you
want to see?”

I’d like to say I impressed him by picking the horror film because I was totally bad-ass like that, but sadly, I was your typical girl. And the rom-com really did look good.

There weren’t many others in the theater, which made sense given the fact that it was the middle of a school/work day. A few solitary patrons sat scattered throughout the open seats and one couple was going at it in the back row like this was their last day on Earth. I tried to make my eyes look anywhere else as we scaled the sticky steps—I wasn’t some voyeur and that was not the show I was there to see—but I couldn’t help myself. Was that what Kiernan expected to get out of today? Was that what normal people did on a date? I wouldn’t know. Not that this was a date. We weren’t dating. In fact, I was dating someone else. And Kiernan knew it. Certainly he couldn’t expect me to cheat on Doug just for the cost of a movie ticket and some popcorn. Could he?

I’d worked myself into a near panic by the time we claimed a pair of seats, center row. The armrest between us provided only a small amount of comfort. It looked solid enough, but I had visual proof that it was not the obstacle it promised to be. Kiernan tipped the popcorn my way, but I waved it off. I couldn’t allow myself to become any more indebted to him than I already was.

I fidgeted like a two-year-old, waiting for him to make his move, wondering what I would do when he did. How would he react if I shot him down? What if he left me here? We were miles from home and I didn’t know . . . anyone. How would I get back? How did I get myself into these situations?

The lights dimmed as the previews began to roll. This was it. If he was going to go for it, now would be the time. We were cast in shadows and
the rest of the movie goers were focused on the screen. My entire body locked up with nerves as I waited for the inevitable, but Kiernan only kicked his feet up on the empty seat in front of him and tossed back another handful of popcorn.

I missed all of the previews and the first half-hour of the movie in
psyching myself out. Convinced that it was wishful thinking to allow myself to believe that
this
was all today was really about. But when the misunderstood rebel and the wallflower shared their first onscreen kiss and Kiernan still hadn’t made a single move that didn’t involve his hand going to and from the bucket in his lap, I started to relax. I made myself comfortable in my plush seat, focused on the movie, and even started to enjoy myself.

It didn’t take long for my comfort to
rub off on Kiernan. Or maybe he’d been waiting for me to relax that whole time. Either way, his entertainment increased tenfold once I settled, though the film had little to do with it. Bouncing buttery pieces of popcorn off my face while I was distracted seemed to amuse him to no end.

“Kiernan,” I hissed, scooping up his latest projectile weapon from where it had landed in my lap and launching it back at him.

I was stunned when he expertly snatched it out of the air using nothing but his mouth. Impressed enough that, movie forgotten, I scooped a handful of popcorn from the bucket and started tossing them in his direction, watching in awe as he caught every last one. It was like watching a circus act. Only an annoyed grunt from the man seated behind us kept me from breaking out into a round of applause.

Horrified that we’d disrupted his movie, I sank back down into my seat and fought the urge to disappear. Warmth encompassed my hand as Kiernan’s wrapped around it and squeezed. He pulled away again almost immediately, but in the pale glow of the movie screen, I caught a wink that warmed me to my bones.

***

The credits scrolled over a blackened screen, and Kiernan sat in his seat. The lights came up and other patrons started vacating the theater, and Kiernan sat in his seat. I got up and gathered our empty cardboard tub from the floor, and
still
Kiernan sat.

“Are you okay?”

He twisted and rubbed the back of his neck with a grimace. “I’m fine. Just sore from riding the bike for so long. Getting old, I guess.”

“Yeah, seventeen can be a real bitch.” I have no idea where the snarky retort came from, but it made Kiernan grin, which in turn made me slightly lightheaded with relief. I’d done something right. It was a miracle.

The lobby was nearly deserted by the time we made it there after I stopped to use the ladies room. The digital clock hanging just below the list of show times read 12:02. We still had a couple hours to kill before we could convincingly return home and I was in no rush to head back.

“Want to take a walk?” Along the drive into town, I’d noticed that it seemed like a touristy type place with lots of little shops and stands along the sidewalk.

“Absolutely.” Kiernan pulled open the door and held it, allowing me to lead the way out onto the warm, sun soaked concrete.

We made it as far as the corner when a soft whine caught my attention. A narrow alley ran between two buildings, strewn with empty cardboard boxes and other trash. The sunlight was blocked by the towering structures,
plunging most of the space into shadow, but in a sliver of light, I spotted a patch of snow white fur.

“Hey, boy,” I crooned, dropping to a squat. “It’s okay.”

His sad, little whine turned to an excited yip as his tiny body wiggled and squirmed in place.

“
Com’ere, boy. It’s okay. Come on.” I patted my knee and watched the furry little snowball twist and yap some more.

“I don’t think he can.” Kiernan squeezed past me and was forced to turn sideways and shimmy his way down the alley. “I think he’s stuck.”

“Don’t get yourself stuck.” I bit my lip, trying hard not to laugh. “I’m smaller. Maybe
I
should—”

“I’m fine.” It took him several tries to figure out how to reach the pup sideways, without room to bend his knees.

It was quite the spectacle, but in the end, completely worth it. No movie could have been better than watching Kiernan Parks bend over in those jeans. Good Lord, I was such a perv.

“There you go. I got you.” Kiernan righted himself and my eyes flew everywhere and
anywhere—the wall, the ground, the sky—until he reemerged from the alley, plus one wiggly ball of absolute adorableness.

“I think he wants you.” He held him out and the beastie all but leapt into my arms.

He was heavier than he looked and I laughed, trying to maintain my balance as he barked and licked my face.

“Poor baby, how long were you stuck back there?” I scratched behind his floppy ears and was rewarded with a happy sigh and another kiss.
“You’re okay now. That nice boy rescued you and we’re going to take you home.” I fingered the blue tag dangling from his collar as it dawned on me that Kiernan was standing there, listening to me talk about him . . . to a dog.

“Where does he live?” Kiernan was
doing a terrible job of fighting back laughter, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out it had nothing to do with the puppy.

“
Melrone Place.” I busied myself, searching the tag for a name, but there was only an address and phone number listed in shiny silver lettering. “Do you know where that is?”

“No, but I’m betting they do.” With a quick check of the traffic, Kiernan jogged across the
street to a busy gas station, leaving me standing there with my happy little ball of fluff and love.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest little . . .” I couldn’t help it. Without an audience, I couldn’t stop myself from babbling to him.

There's something about animals that's sweet, and pure, and wonderful. They possess an ability to love that no human could ever be truly capable of. It doesn't matter to them who you are, or what you say, or do, or look like. They love you. Even a beaten dog loves its abuser simply because it can't help itself.

It's beautiful.

And sad.

“Melrone is only a few blocks from here.” Kiernan hopped up onto the curb in front of us and gave the puppy’s head a firm rubbing.

“You hear that, little guy?” I hefted his solid weight and cradled him against my chest, where he snuggled his small head under my armpit. Not exactly an area of my body I’d choose to draw attention to, but if it made him comfortable . . . “You’re going home.”

The address on his collar was a two-story white house with bright red shutters. The fenced in yard was scattered with evidence that my new friend had at least one little human playmate, and enough dog toys that I felt confident he had a good home. Unlatching the gate, I gave him one last ear scratch for the road and tucked him inside.