Falling Under You: A Fixed Trilogy Novella (1001 Dark Nights) (13 page)

This time when he drove back in, I was ready for him. Or more ready for him, and the urge to gag was easier to manage. He developed a rhythm—slow, deep, invasive—and while it was nothing like the playful teasing BJ I normally gave him, it wasn’t altogether unpleasant. And it was definitely erotic. Especially when he forced himself all the way inside, so far in that I practically choked.

“You’re doing such a good job taking my big cock,” he grunted. “I know it’s hard to take it all. It’s uncomfortable, but you like it anyway, don’t you?”

He pulled out enough for me to hum an, “Mmhmm,” as he glided back in.

His grip tightened in my hair, and I gasped around him. “Close your mouth,” he ordered, and I did, relishing the pleasure-pain, trying to focus on not gagging, on giving Boyd exactly what he wanted. So many balls to juggle. It was work to do this for him, but the expression on his face and the sounds he let out as he rammed into me over and over made every bit of the effort worth it.

He was getting close to coming. I could feel it in the way his balls tightened as he pressed against me. “So good, Norma,” he said hoarsely. “You’re so good at taking all of me all the way. I know it’s not easy, but you like servicing me like this.”

God, I
so
did.

“Would you want to serve someone else in this way?”

“Uh-uh,” I managed when I realized he expected an answer.

He pulled out then, swiftly and suddenly. Bending down, he jerked my head back to meet his eyes. “And that’s how I feel about my job. It might be hard, it might be menial, but I love doing it
for you
. I don’t want to do it for someone else.”

With a groan of frustration, he let go of my hair and stormed out of the room.

I was too stunned to call after him. Too stunned to move. And as the meaning of what he’d said sank in, I was also too embarrassed.

Ugh. How narrow-minded was I to think I was the only one who’d lose something if he didn’t work for me anymore? I never wanted to leave Pierce Industries, but I had enough autonomy and respect in my field I could easily get another management position that would afford me the same comforts no matter whom I reported to. A job like Boyd’s, where the main task was to basically serve someone else all day long? Yeah, who his boss was probably mattered even more than who mine was.

 I gave it a couple of minutes before I padded out of the room after him. I found him standing over the kitchen sink, drinking a glass of water. He knew I was there—I hadn’t been quiet, and his back tensed as I approached him.

Pressing my body against him, I wrapped my arms around his chest and said quietly, “I’m sorry. I’m dumb and self-centered.”

He sighed. “You’re not either of those things.”

“I am. I didn’t think.”

He set his glass in the sink but didn’t turn around. “It’s not like I don’t know that he holds the cards here. It’s his decision. There’s only so much you can do.”

My chest twisted inside. While I was sure I’d proven that I didn’t still have feelings for the man, it hadn’t occurred to me that Hudson still had a power over me that might make Boyd jealous.

It wasn’t right. If I loved him more than anyone—more than
anything
—then I had to be willing to give things up in order to ensure a future together. “I could do more to push things. And I haven’t. I want to, though.”

He glanced over his shoulder. “You do?”

“I do.” I stepped back to let him turn toward me. Then I let him pull me into his arms.

“What are you thinking you should do?”

“I don’t know exactly. I just know that you’re my priority. I want my life to reflect that.”

Even if that means I have to give up my job?

The question was in the air even though neither of us had spoken it.

I wasn’t ready to think about that. “I want those things, Boyd, but I need some more time. Can I have that? Time to sort through our options. Together. Can you give me that?”

His embrace tightened around me. “I’ll give you forever, Norma. Because I want everything with you too. But the stuff we do in private? This structure between us that no one else sees is not the only significant part of our relationship. What happens in the office where you’re in charge is just as important. Asking me to give that up is as detrimental to the balance of what we have as if I were to ask you to give up what we have in our alone time.”

“I get it. Now. And I agree.”

He stroked a hand through my hair, as soft and tender as it was hard when he’d gripped it earlier. “I understand that things might have to change in ways we don’t want, that we might have to make concessions to set up what we both need, but there has to be some semblance of what we have now in whatever life we settle on. If it takes time to get that, I’m willing to wait.”

A small bubble of panic pressed against my ribs but quickly dissolved. In another life it would have grown. In that life, nothing took the place of my ambition and drive to be at the top of every corporate ladder I was allowed to climb.

In this life, though, I’d learned the beauty in not always being the one on top. I’d learned the pleasure of being under too.

Standing on my tiptoes, I reached up to kiss the man who’d taught me that life-changing lesson. Though I started it, he quickly took over, sliding his tongue against mine with sultry strokes that soon had me wet and trembling and aware that I was still very much naked.

“I really do love you,” I said when he pulled away, both of us out of breath.

He pressed one more kiss on my nose then spanked my ass with a sharp
thwack
. “Then get back to the bedroom. I’m going to make you prove how much.”

Chapter Ten

Five Months Later

November

After that, Boyd and I maintained the perception that Hudson desired, but everything was different. Though we still went through the routine we’d gone through for the past two years and still lived the roles we’d defined for ourselves, we’d reached a new understanding between us. We talked about our future a lot. It was our priority, and things began to change. Gwen got a place of her own, and Boyd officially gave up his apartment and moved in with me. He accompanied me to family dinners—even when Hudson was present. And little by little, I started tidying up projects at work so that I could hand them off to someone else if necessary.

Still, time went by. Thanksgiving came and went. The Monday after the four-day holiday, the annual executive Christmas party invitation arrived via intra-office mail.

“You can toss that,” I said to Boyd as he laid it on my desk.

“You aren’t planning to go? It’s at American Cut. Hudson’s rented out the entire restaurant. You love that place.”

I looked up from my computer screen. “I know. But it’s not as fun when I can’t take whom I want to take.” The year before I’d gone to the event and barely lasted an hour before I’d rushed home to Boyd and had a very different kind of party.

The corners of his mouth bent into a frown. Quietly, so no one passing by might hear, he said, “I hate that I’m the one standing in the way of you enjoying all the perks of your hard work.”

“It’s not really a perk. It’s one night. I’ll live.” But, the truth was, it was more than one night. My job required me to attend several events throughout the year. Time and time again I’d gone alone. I could ignore the looks and office gossip about my perpetually single status, but I despised not being able to share those occasions with Boyd. Sometimes I’d take him with me as my assistant, which was almost worse. At least at the office, I had work to distract me from pining for his glance or his touch. In social settings, it had gotten harder and harder not to brush my arm against his too closely, not to reach for his hand, not to behave too familiarly with him.

“Okay, then. If that’s what you want.” Boyd reached for the invitation, but I placed my hand on his wrist to stop him.

“You know what? It’s not what I want. And I’m tired of living like this.” I pushed my chair back from my desk and stood up.

With the invitation firmly in my grasp, I marched out of my office and down the hallway to Hudson’s office. Boyd followed on my heels, and though I could palpably feel his curiosity, he didn’t ask any questions.

Hudson’s office door was open when I got there, and when I peeked in over his secretary’s shoulder, I could see him talking on his phone. “I need a moment of his time,” I told her.

“He’s just finishing up a call.” She looked down at her telephone console, and as she did, the red light indicating Hudson’s line went dark. “Oh, there. He’s off. Let me announce—”

“Stay here,” I said to Boyd before she could finish then walked off before she could stop me. As I walked to his desk, I heard her voice over his speaker. “Norma Anders is here to see you.”

“I’d ask you to send her in,” Hudson said into the intercom, “but I see there’s no need. Thank you, Patricia.” His finger left the button before she could respond. “Norma. Please, have a seat.”

“I’ll stand, thank you.”

His eyes darted from me back to the doorway, where I could see Boyd chatting with Trish, then back again. “All right. What can I do for you, then?”

It wasn’t unusual for me to meet with Hudson several times in a day, but it was generally always with an appointment and usually when Boyd accompanied me, he came into the actual room. Hudson had to sense something was up.

And something was.

I set the party invitation in front of him. “I’d like to attend this,” I said, tapping the card.

“Excellent. You can RSVP with Patri—”

“And I’m bringing Boyd. As my date,” I added, before he assumed that I meant anything else.

Hudson cocked a stern brow. “We’ve talked about this before. I thought you understood my position.”

“We have. And I do understand your position. You, however, do not understand mine.” I widened my stance and stood up even straighter. “Boyd and I are not a random office fling. We are not a relationship that is going to run its course. We’ve been together for two and a half years, and we are past the point of sneaking around. We’re ready to make a permanent life together, and the one thing standing in our way is you. This job.”

Hudson opened his mouth, but I cut him off with a single finger in the air, indicating that I wasn’t ready for him to speak.

“Before you suggest it, I am not interested in transferring him to another office. I don’t want another assistant, and he doesn’t want to work for someone else. We’ve developed a stellar working relationship that has taken several years to cultivate. It would behoove all of us—you, especially—to keep that relationship intact. The hours required to train a new employee would be a waste of my skill and energy. I’m sure you’d agree that time would much be better suited serving you in other ways.”

“Of course, but there are—”

I interrupted him, guessing the possible end of his statement. “I’m sure there are other people who could do the job as well or better, and I’m sure there are reasons that you have this policy in place, but frankly, I don’t give a damn anymore. I want Boyd. He’s the best assistant I’ve ever had, and I don’t see how my personal relationship with him affects that. We’ve obviously proven we can remain professional.”

Hudson pursed his lips. He’d called me a tiger before, but this was the first time I could remember using my prowess on him. If it threw him for a loop, he didn’t show any indication. The man had a poker face that could win national championships.

“Are you asking for something specific, Norma?” he asked after a beat.

I didn’t even blink. “Yes. I’m asking for you to let us see each other openly.”

He considered, and for half a second I could remember what I’d once seen in him. This power he held was so intoxicating, so seductive, yet, here in the business world, I didn’t like it used against me—I wanted to be the one wielding it. How had I ever thought he’d be the right man for me? Funny, how clearly I could see he wasn’t now.

And with that authority I envied, he said, “I’m sure you realize that if I’m lax on the fraternization policy with one of my employees, then I’ll have to be lax with others. There are very good reasons the rule is in place. It’s the best protection we’ve found against sexual harassment lawsuits. It’s a very standard policy.”

Nothing he said was news. It also wasn’t a deterrent—not today. “I understand completely. I’m telling you to find a loophole. I’ve been a damned good employee. I’ve given you years. I’ve asked for very few favors. I’ve been loyal. Now show me you’re loyal too.”

The slight twitch of his eyelid told me I’d hit a nerve. “I’m very appreciative of your loyalty, Norma. This has nothing to do with that. I’m not sure there’s any way around this, not with the conditions you’re requiring.”

“Then you’ll have to find another chief financial advisor. Your ‘no’ should be considered synonymous with my resignation, effective January first.” The words were out of my mouth before I had time to stop them. Luckily, I didn’t want to.

Hudson leaned back in his chair. “Tough terms you’ve got there.”

“I’ve learned from the best.” I could feel my pulse thrumming in my veins as I waited for him to say more. Could hear the buzz of the fan in his computer and the tap-tap-tap of Trish typing in the reception area behind me. Could sense Boyd’s ears pricked to hear our conversation.

Several long seconds passed. Finally, Hudson said, “I’ll consider it.”

“That’s all?” After all the buildup, I was dying for a resolution. How could he leave me hanging?

“For now, yes.”

My eyes widened, my mouth opening and shutting as I searched for something else to say, something that would convince him I meant business. Something to convince him to give me his decision right the fuck now. “One way or another, he’s coming with me to that party, Hudson.”

“Then I’ll give you my answer before then. Now if that’ll be all…” He picked up his phone as though he meant to make another call.

A little miffed to be so curtly dismissed, I paused. But I’d said what I’d come to say, and that was Hudson’s way, after all. “Yes. That’s it.” Then I spun around and left.