Falling Under You: A Fixed Trilogy Novella (1001 Dark Nights) (12 page)

Yes, I could settle for this. It felt amazing and new and was really distracting. My head was focused on nothing but this—nothing but him and what he was doing to me.

When I was near orgasm, Boyd changed the game yet again. He positioned his cock at my pussy then shoved in as he pulled his fingers out of my ass. Once he was seated inside me, he drew out of my pussy, pushing his fingers back into my ass again.

Fire. I was on fire. Everywhere electricity shot through my body as he continued to work his cock and fingers in and out of me in opposition like a seesaw. It was like nothing I’d felt before. Spots formed before my eyes, my legs began to shake under me, and I didn’t know if I was going to come or cry, but there was something inside me about to let loose. Something big.

And when it did—when my orgasm began to wash over me with huge tsunami-like waves—Boyd pulled me back onto his lap. With one arm wrapped around my breasts, he left his fingers in my ass and drove into me with his cock. God, I’d thought the seesaw motion was intense, and this was all that and more. I felt so full, so incredibly full. Each of his thrusts sent ripples of release like aftershocks, until I was coming and coming and coming with no stop.

And then the tears came.

Not the kind of tears that often burned at my eyes when I climaxed, but torrents. I was sobbing, my body shuddering with the attempt to get it all out.

Immediately, Boyd pulled out of me, twisting so he could embrace me. I clutched onto him, crying into his chest while he rocked me and cooed in my ear. “That’s it. Let it out. Let it all out.”

I did just that, let out everything that had been pent up inside for the last twenty-four hours. Hell, for the last twenty-four years. For a lifetime.

After I’d finished, I let him hold me, and when my head cleared and my cheeks dried, all I could think about was how much I loved his arms. How much I loved his chest. How much I loved the way he held me. How much I loved him in my life.

Then it occurred to me. “I love you,” I said, pulling back to see his face. “Do you know that?”

He seemed pleased, though not all that surprised. “I thought maybe you might.” He rubbed his thumb along my cheekbone. “I think you know I love you too.”

I hadn’t thought about it before, but now that I had, I realized I did know. “You’ve loved me for quite some time, haven’t you?”

He didn’t answer in words. He didn’t have to. Instead, he kissed me, shifting so that I fell underneath him.

And this time when he made love to me, I realized that’s what we’d always done—make love. That just because we’d only said the words now, every time we’d been together before—every time Boyd had instructed me and bossed me and taken me—it had always been
making love
.

I’d known going into my relationship with Boyd that I could never lose him as an assistant. From day one, I’d decided that if it came down to having to choose between transferring him in order to comply with the office rules or giving up our extracurricular romance, I’d pick keeping him at the job. Because that’s the type of woman I was, the type I’d always been. My career was my priority. Staying on top in my field came first.

Or it had.

Now, that decision seemed much harder to make, if not impossible. And I was more than certain I’d eventually have to figure it out.

Chapter Nine

Eighteen Months Later

June

Boyd and I managed to keep the status quo for another year and a half. At work, I had the power, at home, he had the power, and between the two we practiced a satisfactory balance. We still had designated nights that we spent together, but I had so many of my belongings at his place, and he had so many at mine, that I no longer needed to pack a bag. My building manager was on a first name basis with Boyd. His sister invited me to her bachelorette party. We were a totally committed couple to anyone who knew us well enough.

While we stayed steady, the relationships with those close to me changed significantly. Ben fell in love with both life and a boy and moved back to New York. Hudson met someone and got married, and Gwen became best friends with his new bride. Often, we’d gather for dinner parties at the Pierces’, and for the first time, there were people that I truly cared about outside of my family. It was a refreshingly happy time.

But, with happiness, I’d become restless.

It had been two years since Boyd first made his move, and as much as I enjoyed the dynamics of our love affair, I hated having to keep so much of it secret. My siblings knew, as did Hudson’s wife, but that was all. Particularly, I was frustrated with not being able to invite Boyd to any social gathering where people from work might be present. Such as Hudson. With Gwen’s newfound friendship with the Pierces, there weren’t many events I was invited to that he wasn’t part of.

Funny how, once upon a time, I would have killed to be such a vital part of Hudson’s private life. Now, I found it a nuisance.

“You’ve been quiet tonight. What’s up?” Boyd asked one Friday evening in June after one such Pierce party.

We were in his kitchen cleaning up after dinner, and though I did have something I’d been meaning to talk to him about, I wasn’t quite sure I was ready. More accurately, I wasn’t sure if
we
were ready for where this particular discussion would lead us.

Ever sensitive to me, my hesitation signaled alarms for Boyd. “Norma? Is something wrong?”

“Not wrong, exactly. Just.” I finished rinsing off the dish I was holding and handed it to him to put into the dishwasher. “It’s sort of funny you should bring this up. I had an interesting conversation with Hudson that I was meaning to tell you about.”

“Oh, really?” That was all he said, and with just that and the cock of his brow, he brought out the authoritative Boyd—the Boyd that had full command over me. The Boyd that I answered immediately when questioned.

I leaned my hip against the counter and took a breath before plunging in. “Basically, Hudson knows.” That was the easiest way to say it, really. It had been a brief confrontation, but he’d made it clear that he was fully aware of the relationship I had with my subordinate. The very unauthorized relationship.

“Hudson knows?” Another second and Boyd realized what I was getting at. “Ah, he
knows
.”

His forehead furrowed, and I knew he was considering the information carefully before responding with more. Silently, he retrieved a bottle of detergent from the cupboard and poured it into the dishwasher.

I chewed my lip as I waited, each quiet second making me more and more tense. It was strange how this moment felt like it had been coming for so long and how now that it was here, I was totally unprepared. Why hadn’t we ever talked about what would happen if we were discovered? Why had we never laid out plans for a future? Did Boyd’s silence indicate he hadn’t given much thought to this possibility? That wasn’t like him. He usually had a plan for everything where we were concerned.

I usually had a plan for everything
but
where we were concerned. He’d taught me to rely on him. Now I realized how vulnerable that left me. How much trust I’d put in him.

He didn’t speak until he’d started the dishwasher. “Did he come out and say that directly? Did he confront you about it?”

“No, he didn’t say it directly, but he made it pretty clear. Good news is that I don’t think he’s going to make a big deal about it.”

“How do you know that? What did you say?” He’d straightened to his full height, and something in his tone prickled with irritation, which automatically made me feel guarded.

 “There really wasn’t an opportunity to respond,” I said, standing straighter myself—as though I could match his height. “He made this insinuating announcement that as long as perception is in check, that’s all he cares about.”

“
Perception
,” he repeated, and it wasn’t a question but more like a confirmation of fact.

“Right. Which I assume means that as long as no one knows then our relationship isn’t an issue.”

“
Isn’t an issue
.” This time his echo had bite to it.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “You don’t sound happy.”

“I didn’t realize I should be happy that what we are to each other is being considered as a possible
issue
by someone who has nothing to do with our relationship.” Boyd wiped his hands off with a dishtowel and tossed it angrily onto the counter before moving to the fridge.

“When you put it like that…” I watched as he pulled out a beer and popped the top. If I hadn’t known he was frustrated before, I certainly did now—Boyd rarely drank.

Fuck.

“Come on,” I said, as he took a swig. “It’s not that bad, is it? So we have to stay in the closet about our relationship, but at least we don't have to worry about the boss finding out.”

He leaned against the counter, his expression sour.

“You’re making a face.”

“I’m not making any face. I’m processing.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “There’s nothing to process. What’s there to process?”

He answered with another swallow of beer.

Sighing, I went to him. “So Hudson knows. As long as no one else knows, we’re cool.” I ran a hand up each of his arms, trying to soothe him.

Boyd remained stiff under my touch. “And how long do you think we can manage to keep everyone else in the dark? How many times have we almost been caught?” It was true that there’d been some close calls. “Your sister actually
did
catch us—”

“That was more than a year ago,” I said, cutting him off, “and we’ve been careful in the office since then.” She’d walked in on us in my office on my birthday. It had been after hours, and Boyd was entertaining my request for a little role reversal while he delivered some spankings. It had been the best birthday present I’d ever received, but perhaps not the most appropriate location to have acted out the fantasy.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing into him. “We can be even more careful if you’re worried.”

“What about when we bumped into Chad Long at the theater? The only way we could have avoided that was to not have gone out together. Should we never go on dates in public in case we run into someone from the office?”

“No. I wasn’t saying…” I tilted my head to look at him. “What are you getting at? This is what it is. What it’s always been.”

He took another swig of his beer then set the bottle on the counter next to him. “And because of what it is, we’re stuck like this. With no hope of going anywhere else. This is how our relationship stands. Is this all you want?” His eyes searched mine.

“No. It’s not. I want more.” My voice rasped with the honesty I’d never shared with him. “I want everything with you.”

His body relaxed. He wrapped his arms around my waist. “How do you suggest we work that out if we’re hiding our relationship from everyone?” His question was serious and pointed, but less harsh than he’d been before. “Secret wedding? Rings we remove every day before we go into the office? We wouldn’t even be able to talk about kids, let alone have them.”

“Whoa. Hold on.” I took a step back, but he held me in place.

“You said you wanted everything. I was simply bringing up what most people label as ‘everything.’” He narrowed his eyes, studying me. “Have you not thought about any of this?”

“Of course I have.” And I had. Sort of. And also sort of not. As much of a planner as I was, Boyd had trained me to leave the nuts and bolts of our relationship to him. Which didn’t mean I hadn’t imagined he’d be in my future. “I just…I just hadn’t thought through the details of marriage and family. I always assumed that when we finally got to that point, I’d make the sacrifice and lose having you as my assistant.”

He dropped his arms from my waist as he let out an incredulous laugh. “
You
’d make the sacrifice?”

It took everything in me not to roll my eyes. “I didn’t mean that you wouldn’t be affected. Of course you would.” But he didn’t care about his job like I did. He’d said that from the beginning. He could get a job anywhere. I, on the other hand, would have to give up my right-hand man. “I’m just the one who would lose more.”

“Because I’m the one who works for you.”

“Right.” Something in his expression told me I’d said the wrong thing, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was or how to fix it.

He held his scowl for several seconds. Then he shook his head. “You know what? I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” He reached for his beer and took another swallow before dumping the rest out in the sink. “I want you naked, kneeling on the floor in the bedroom with your mouth ready.”

“Yes, sir.” It was a sudden shift of mood on his part, one I wasn’t going to argue. I really did want everything with him someday, but I was just as happy to hold on to what we had for as long as possible before demanding more.

* * * *

Ten minutes later, I was naked, kneeling before him, my hands wrapped around his erection as I teased his head with my lips.

Boyd was still dressed, his briefs and jeans he’d changed into after work pulled down just far enough to give me full access to his cock. Though he didn’t ask for me to do it very often, I loved giving him blowjobs. It was one of the few times in our sexual encounters that he allowed me to have some of the control. Giving him what he needed, watching him react without my own pleasure distracting him—it was a big turn-on. I was already wet now, and I’d barely even touched him.

That needed to be remedied.

Flattening my tongue, I sucked his crown into my mouth and peered up at him.

Boyd wrapped his hands in my hair, much like he always did when I blew him, but this time he did something else, something he hadn’t done before—he shoved his entire length into my mouth so that his tip hit the back of my throat.

Spit gathered in my mouth as I struggled not to gag, recovering only when he pulled back out. But before I had more than a second to recover, he thrust back in, as deep as before. Deeper. I dropped my hands to my thighs, my fingernails digging into my skin while he pressed my head toward him, forcing me to accept more of him. He held me there briefly then slid out.