Fallocaust (The Fallocaust Series) (106 page)

I would show him the crate, we would get the powder and figure out what it was... with that proof, he wouldn’t be able to deny what Asher was doing to him.

I looked behind me again, in the swirling horrors of unfathomable panic and pure will to get away from him, I saw that for the moment I had gained on him. The detours I had made to slow him down had been hard for him to navigate in his state. He had slowed to a stumbling jog. Though his eyes were still fixed on me.

I ran across his front yard and behind his house. I got to the shed and swore in my head. I felt the tears spring to my eyes. The shed was locked, I couldn’t get in. I didn’t want him to rape me out here. Not here, not in the cold night. Not in the open away from any shreds of comfort.

Oh Reaver you had to be in there somewhere...

“Killi Caaat?”
I heard him whistle for me like an animal. Then a dry mocking laugh that made my hair bristle. He was close.

I panicked when I realized how close he was. Instead of running inside the basement, I ran behind the house. I pressed my back up against the main story of his home and fell silent.

Amplified in the deafeningly quiet night, I heard his boots crunch against the gravely ground. His breathing hard, laboured and strained. His movements still clumsy. I heard him stop in front of the shed door, before the familiar jingling of keys.

I stopped breathing as I heard his movements. I knew in his state he wouldn’t be able to hear my heart at least.

The shed opened and then the cold click as his boots stepped onto his shed. Then the door closed behind him.

“Killicat?”
He was going inside... I heard another jingle, and the strain of the first metal tank hatch opening, and then closing.

I quickly moved from my spot, and walked towards the askew shed door. I squeezed into it and quietly stepped into the shed.

The keys were still in the lock. With a cautious hand  I reached over.

I turned them.

Suddenly I could hear screaming, and banging as he tried to open the outside hatch again. I pulled the keys away and clenched them to me. My mouth dry and my eyes so wide the wintery air burned my eyeballs.

“Get down here, you little fucking whore!” Reaver roared, I could hear more banging. Vicious, forceful slams against the recovered army tank hatch that echoed into through the home made tunnel.

“I love you,” I whispered, my voice breaking from both terror and relief. I kissed my hand an laid it on top of the hatch, before I turned and left the shed.

I walked back to the street, taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself down. I tucked my hands into my pockets and pulled out the voice recorder.

I had nothing now. Was it really my reality that because I didn’t let the love of my life brutally rape me, that now I would have no proof of what Asher had told him to do?

I groped my pockets, but I had no drugs to calm my mind. It was in shock, it was frozen in a state of disbelief and unimaginable horror. Though those emotions were nothing compared to my sinking realization that even after all of this... I still had no proof.

Reaver would wake up, with no memory of this. Asher would continue to abuse him, and in turn he would continue to abuse me. I knew what his game plan was, it was obvious... Asher had been trying to break us up.

The drunken sex, probably also a ploy to get me suspicious, pretending Reno was Reaver when they fucked, knowing he would tell me, digging up Perish’s skull... and now, now that he had been here a couple months almost. He had decided to give the final blow, and make Reaver rape me.

Did he expect me to play it off as rough sex or was he thinking I would break up with him now? Was Reaver suppose to be on the rebound and then he would sleep with him?

I felt like I had dry swallowed a mouthful of sour pills. Who was I kidding? I saw the way he responded to Asher’s touch, they probably had already had sex.

And I was helpless, because Reaver would never believe me. It didn’t even matter that he had promised not to drink with Asher anymore. The drug was obviously soluble in anything. He could take a bump or a drink of anything and he would be under his power.

Free to do anything... free to do me.

Here I was, cold, alone, without my sentry to protect me... how could he protect me from...

I swore. I clenched my fists and smashed them angrily up against a telephone pole.

You idiot!
I hit the pole again feeling a wave of self hatred. I sunk down to my knees and started crying.

You idiot...

Reaver was being drugged, Reaver was being molested against his will, Reaver was being mind controlled and manipulated and here you are feeling sorry for yourself. Where was the Killian who cut off Perish’s head? Who was strong for you two when he needed you?

I shook my head and gave out an angry cry, I clenched my hair and pulled it. I stayed down for a second and whimpered.

I was his conscience. I was his morality. I was his guardian even if everyone thought he was protecting me.

I looked towards Asher’s house.

I had to kill him.

No.

I couldn’t.

My hands, now torn and bruised, traced the voice recorder again. I had no proof, I had no way to justify it. It would be me snapping on Asher, it would be murder. Greyson would never execute me, but I would lose my Reaver forever. He would see me as a crazed jealous boyfriend who snapped. He knew I was capable of it, I had killed Perish. He wouldn’t doubt my abilities to murder again.

I couldn’t kill him, it couldn’t be me. Reno? Reno had practically gotten raped by Asher and he shared my own suspicions. Reno could kill him out of revenge for him being raped, he justifiably snapped. Asher had been the only one to do something to him, and rape did garner that punishment. I mean Bridley had brutally raped Reno and Reaver had killed Bridley because of it.

...

Oh my god.

I fell to my knees a wave of dizzy nausea over came me. No... fuck, it wasn’t nausea, it was adrenaline.

The frigid, liquid energy swept over me, like cold water slowly coating my body. I bent my head forward and took a sharp inhale of night air.

I exhale I felt every remaining shred of fear leave me. It dissipate into the darkness and all that remained was the sober realization of what I had to do.

I looked ahead, and saw the faint glow of his living room, lighting up the darkened edges of the broken pavement. My hands traced to my voice recorder. I turned it off.

With the whispers of a terrible plan taking shape in my head. I practically floated to Asher's. The rush of adrenaline getting into every single orifice of my body but my heart. My heart was still banging in my chest, trying to force me to see the dangerous reality my manic desperate mind refused to acknowledge.

I knocked on the door, and as if commanding the first wave of my army to strike. I felt the tears spring to my eyes.

Chapter 44

Killian

Asher opened his door with a puzzled look on his face. Every fiber in my body at that moment wanted to lunge at him. Strangle him, decapitate him, fuck the hole I was about to make in his head. Drink his blood, eat his flesh, hack him up into pieces. I could rape
him
, until
he
screamed. I could, I knew I could!

But instead, I sobbed and dove into his arms. “I broke up with Reaver... I have no where else to go, can I come in?”

My body was trembling, for many reasons but to him it would be from despair. I could do this, I had to do this. I love you Reaver, this was for your own good. I would save you again, save our relationship and save my own sanity. I wouldn’t let him control you anymore, no one controlled you. You were my strong, blood thirsty chimera and I would no longer watch him break your mind.

I felt his arms tighten around mine. “Come on in, we can talk about it.”

I was in... his voice was supportive, and he sounded sad. How much was he pretending? I knew he wasn’t sad we broke up, that wasn’t anything to second guess. But would he be supportive of me now that in his eyes Reaver was all his?

I sat down and he poured me a glass of wine. He was still dressed like a slut, in his netted shirt and tight jeans. His hair was freshly washed and he smelled like cologne and spice. I must have interrupted something important. He had had great plans for my boyfriend when he came staggering back after his successful mission.

I cautiously took the drink, the bottle had come from the same bottle he had poured for himself so I had to assume it was safe. I took a drink, pursing my lips at the sour flavour and held the glass on my dirt stained knee.

“He came running out of your house and kept pressuring me for sex...” I sniffed and wiped my eyes with my hand. “Every time he touches me, it’s like being touched by a serpent. Every... time we have sex, it feels like being raped. I was tired of it. I snapped and left and told him that was it. I was gone. I left him.” I took another drink. I didn’t even feel guilty for saying it, I had his full attention on me. This is what I wanted.

Asher looked up at me past his raised glass, his eyes narrow and intrigued, his lips curled so slightly you could only see the smirk if you were looking for it.

My chest was banging. He brought the wine up to his lips and looked me up and down. “You’ve never enjoyed him touching you?”

I shook my head, my hands absentmindedly wrung together. “His touch is always so cold... sterile. In bed he’s brutal and selfish... he doesn’t care about my needs. I’m seventeen years old.” I took another drink and set the glass down. I turned to him and laid my head down on the back of the couch. “I want my head to go hot, for me to shudder from pleasure when someone touches me... not to cringe and recoil.”

Asher put his glass down too, he reached into his pocket and pulled something out. My heart froze as I saw it was a baggy, but this one was red, not the same one he had given Reaver. I tried to slow my heart down. I hadn’t prepared for this, but... the baggy was different. It wasn’t what he had used to drug Reaver.

“Here, you sound like you need something,” Asher laid out the powder on the table and gave me the sniffer. “It’s like your pain killer.”

It was too late to say no now. I grabbed the sniffer and did some in each nostril. A burning sensation brought tears to my eyes but I think it had worked. I rubbed my nose and shook my head rapidly. “That burns...”

Asher didn’t move to do any himself, he picked up his wine glass and swirled it. “I always found Reaver to be a cold person to be around, no doubt he could have a tendency to be cold in bed.”

You didn’t know? No the drugs made his sex drive go crazy he was probably a passionate fuck if you drugged...

I felt a warmth sweep through my body. I lowered the glass and grimaced. As I leaned back against the arm of the couch. Feeling my pants start to get tight. What was this stuff?

I still had my mind though... my mind was fine I was just... I moved and as I did, my cloth pants rubbing up against my groin sent a wave of sexual pleasure through me.

I opened my eyes and saw Asher’s emerald eyes on me. He was on his hands and knees, partially over me. I realized I was half laying down on the couch.

Asher pressed his lips up against mine, and kissed me. I felt his tongue slip into my mouth, and brush against mine.

I gasped and pressed back. I hadn’t planned... planned on it but it felt so good. How could my body have gotten so sensitive? My sounds reminded me of the moan Reaver had let out after he had done the drugs earlier, but no I still had my mind.

He had mixed the two powders in his bedroom you idiot, you got only one of them.

Another groan, his hand slipped up my shirt and stroked my chest, his fingers were strangely cold. I felt him run the tips of his fingers over my left nipple, he started gently twisting it with his frozen fingers.

I bit my lip hard and started rubbing his hand through my shirt. My nipples were hard now. The next second he was taking my shirt off and licking it. In that moment there was no place I wanted to be but laying here with his tongue on me. Each lick sent a shock wave of sexual pleasure, starting at my brain and coiling all the way down to my penis. It throbbed, ready for any touch or stroke. Fuck, Asher was perfect... beautiful.

I felt him suck and kiss my neck, is hot breath against my ear, he blew into it softly. “Do you want me?”

His voice sent shivers up my spine, it was a gravely purr. I felt his hands trace lower, brushing his fingers over the rim of my pants, gently passing them over the tightness in my underwear. His touch had gone from cold to almost static, I kept feeling jolts of unexpected pleasure from my groin where ever his fingers stopped.

“I want you,” I gasped, I started grinding my hips into his hand.

NO!

I jerked up and pushed him away wordlessly. I got up and took a step towards the door. Fuck what was I doing? What was I doing? No! I still had my mind, but my body... god I was so hard, my body was flushed and hot. I wanted to be touched. My body begged for release, for sex, over and over. I was so horny it was painful. What the hell was this shit?

I still had my mind... I wasn’t blacking out, I wasn’t drooling. The mind controlling drug and the sexual one had been two different powders. He had only given me one... he wanted me.

“You’re not going anywhere, Killian.” Asher’s voice went from being a sensual growl to an angry threat.

I quickly walked towards the door, tears streaming down my face. I suddenly felt very stupid, and very foolish. This drug was too powerful, it made my body too out of control. I had to retreat, I had to get out of there and think of something else.

Asher grabbed my hand and with a violent yank he pulled me away. He kept dragging me until he threw me into his bedroom and pushed me onto the bed.

The door slammed and he drew the blinds, they hit the windowsill with a slam. I cried on the bed, feeling foolish, feeling like an idiot. He was going to...